Stress is anything that puts you under pressure unduly, making you feel uncomfortable and threatened. In our various relationships, we often encounter situations and circumstances that tend to give us pressure but keep us going for good. Examples could be family relocation, coping with change of job or promotion for one of the spouses, the birth of a baby and so on. But when we encounter situations that upset our balance and undermine our physical and emotional well being, then such is not good for us. The irony of this is that some of us are into things that cause stress for us in our relationships but we are oblivious of them because our focus is on another thing yet our efficiency and productivity in our relationships are being limited by these things. We shall be talking about these things this week because if we are smart enough, these issues could be worked on and give us a lot of relief in our relationships.


1.Differences in Upbringing. When two people come together in a relationship especially marriage, they come in with different outlooks to life in general as a result of their upbringing and this is bound to cause tension among them initially. Majority of the issues we encounter in our relationships could be traced to this; she was brought up to eat out most times but he was a highly domesticated person. He is used to eating food freshly prepared but she is used to cooking for a month and storing in the freezer. She was brought up to know that a good marriage is when a man can provide absolutely for the needs of the family but to him, marriage is a joint venture. He eats with average of three pieces of meat per meal but she wasn’t brought up with that luxury…the list is endless! When couples are not careful with themselves, these differences would import stress into their marriages and make them start focusing on less important things and before they know it, it would rock the boat of their relationship. It is always advisable for couples to first show understanding for each other on where each is coming from and secondly be patient with one another over the years while they seek to establish and get used to their own way of doing things not from what they are both used to but what works for them. However, that doesn’t mean that they can’t find equilibrium based on what their backgrounds already tossed on them.


2.Finance. Any day, anytime, finance will always cause stress in relationships where the partners involved have not designed a system that works for them either consciously or unconsciously. This has got nothing to do with its inadequacy due to the fact that we have discovered that where couples have more than enough to go for them, they still get stressed up and argue over money because one of the parties is trying to be funny with the finance. When couples don’t have a definite plan on what comes in and goes out, when either of the party is not straight forward with the laid down arrangement or a wrong pattern of spending is not curtailed, couples will always have issues with each other. This could be avoided if couples try and identify what works for them in terms of spending pattern and keep to it. It should be noted also that when a habit of openness is cultivated with each other the stress is also reduced. Joint account? This may not really mean joint bank accounts. It’s rather about a believe system that we both own our money and we are accountable to spend and grow it. I have seen a lot of couples with joint bank accounts yet each still keep separate accounts unknown to each other. That’s stress and irresponsible style in itself.

CONTINUE FROM HERE: http://expressng.com/2015/07/six-causes-of-stress-in-relationships-and-how-to-deal-with-them-realitywithtid/