Abramovic, Jose Mourinho and Petr Cech sat down on a round table in silence. before Abramovich broke the ice

ABRAMOVIC: Why are you sad Mourinho? your face doesn’t look so special like the special one. I want my workers to be happy.

MOURINHO: I appreciate your efforts in making us happy, but selling Cech to Arsenal is a bit of a stretch to me. You are strengthening a direct rival.

ABRAMOVIC: Yeah. I know that. But I have other plans.

MOURINHO: What plans?

PETR CECH: I want to go under cover at the Emirates. James bond style.

MOURINHO: I still don’t understand what you guys are saying. Can someone please speak English to me?

ABRAMOVIC: Calm down Jose. You are always too angry. What Petr meant is, he will go to Arsenal to get his clean sheets. But make them concede some silly goals.

Mourinho smiled. Stood up and poured a glass of wine.

MOURINHO: What’s the strategy?

ABRAMOVIC: I want them to sign him. Then he will let in loads of goals when they play the Emirates Cup and Community Shield.

Mourinho interjected before Abramovic could finish

MOURINHO: No no no. Let’s give them the Galas treatment Boss.

Abramovich is now lost.

ABRAMOVICH: What’s the Galas treatment? I don’t understand.

MOURINHO: It’s simple. Cech should play his heart out in pre-season and the Community Shield. Then when it is the first day in the EPL? BAAAM!!!

CECH: Why the first day? I want my clean sheet on time.

MOURINHO: No body is taking your clean sheets from you. but you must concede silly goals at the beginning. This will demoralise them since they look up to you.

ABRAMOVICH: Perfect. Perfect Mourinho. you be bad guy. maybe I should employ you to run my oil and telecom companies.

MOURINHO: I love telecommunications. But I have a few questions

ABRAMOVICH: What are the questions Jose?

MOURINHO: Do they have a bus to park in telecommunications industry?

Will I speak to the press and complain about speaking to the press at the same time?

ABRAMOVICH: I am afraid we don’t…

Immediately Cech phone buzzed and Romania Abramovich danced because of the ring tone As my alert don show oo na Godwin, na Godwin win, na Godwin oo

Cech opened the message and saw the figures. Then he raised his head. Looked at Mourinho and Abramovich. Picked up his helmet. And said I AM IN.

Can't read but I think it's funny so take my Loool