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8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. (41368 Views)

Why Do We Have A Lot Of Single Mothers? / The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians / The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians (2) (3) (4)

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Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by 2good(m): 4:53pm On Aug 19, 2015
Princessderaa:




will you advice your daughter or sis to abort her baby if she mistakenly gets preg?
Your question does not change the reality of my earlier comment, so there is no need to respond to the question. Men generally don't want to have anything to do with single mothers period!

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 8:06pm On Aug 19, 2015
2good:
Your question does not change the reality of my earlier comment, so there is no need to respond to the question. Men generally don't want to have anything to do with single mothers period!

Are you sure?

Men generally?

I dont think so.

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Princessderaa(f): 10:29am On Aug 21, 2015
2good:
Your question does not change the reality of my earlier comment, so there is no need to respond to the question. Men generally don't want to have anything to do with single mothers period!

huh? but men will like to sleep with a lady with or without protection.

I still insist matured men prefer single mothers to single ladies.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by 2good(m): 3:46pm On Aug 21, 2015
Princessderaa:


huh? but men will like to sleep with a lady with or without protection.

I still insist matured men prefer single mothers to single ladies.
Yes you are correct to say men will sleep with a lady with or without protection even if the woman is a maid . Her status in terms of education is generally irrelevant when it comes to mating. It is mostly broke men with little option that will accept a single mom as a wife when many single women cannot even find a husband. It is just the reality of life so your opinion doesn't matter because you are thinking like a woman and not a man.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 6:55pm On Aug 21, 2015
Princessderaa:


huh? but men will like to sleep with a lady with or without protection.

I still insist matured men prefer single mothers to single ladies.

Walahi if i see a hot single mum i will rush her with the speed of light..no kidding.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:00pm On Aug 21, 2015
2good:

Yes you are correct to say men will sleep with a lady with or without protection even if the woman is a maid . Her status in terms of education is generally irrelevant when it comes to mating. It is mostly broke men with little option that will accept a single mom as a wife when many single women cannot even find a husband. It is just the reality of life so your opinion doesn't matter because you are thinking like a woman and not a man.

Sometimes when i write quoting my age,i do so because i dont want people to see my comment as one that came from a teenager or one very young dude.

My brother you are so very wrong.

Yes many single ladies are looking for guys but if you meet a single mum that knows her onions,you will side step other ladies to be with her.

Very funny to say broke guys go for single mum lol..its like you never jam better single mums wey go make you have rethink.

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:12pm On Aug 21, 2015
2good:

Yes you are correct to say men will sleep with a lady with or without protection even if the woman is a maid . Her status in terms of education is generally irrelevant when it comes to mating. It is mostly broke men with little option that will accept a single mom as a wife when many single women cannot even find a husband. It is just the reality of life so your opinion doesn't matter because you are thinking like a woman and not a man.

See,guys are visualistic in nature. We get turned on by what we see.

If you see an after one babe with flat tummy,firn tits,confirmed rear view come add sweet skin and face join then you will come back to tell me you now understand my point.

The problem is that many chics dey too relax body after dropping one.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by 2good(m): 7:16am On Aug 22, 2015
Toks2008:


See,guys are visualistic in nature. We get turned on by what we see.

If you see an after one babe with flat tummy,firn tits,confirmed rear view come add sweet skin and face join then you will come back to tell me you now understand my point.

The problem is that many chics dey too relax body after dropping one.

I am not a child to take your above post serious. Men tend to have more self control and self worth as they grow older and most female manipulation stop working on them. The issue of sleeping with a woman is different from marrying them.

5 Likes

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:35am On Aug 22, 2015
2good:


I am not a child to take your above post serious. Men tend to have more self control and self worth as they grow older and most female manipulation stop working on them. The issue of sleeping with a woman is different from marrying them.

Isorite. After-all its your personal opinion so no leles.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Adaeze003(f): 9:37am On Aug 22, 2015
They should date married men too
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by octopusfreaky(f): 11:46am On Aug 22, 2015
u can imagine,,,,, mtschewwwww,useless comments
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:13pm On Aug 22, 2015
Adaeze003:
They should date married men too

No one is asking them to date married men but if a married man decides to marry them i wont advice them against it.

Married men are the answer to the prayers of the widows,female divorcees,unmarried chronic overaged ladies as well as never married single mothers.

The mystery of man and woman affair is too deep to understand and polygamy is actually the answer to the prayers of many ladies.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:14pm On Aug 22, 2015
octopusfreaky:
u can imagine,,,,, mtschewwwww,useless comments

you are not communicating at all.

Please be more articulate.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Adaeze003(f): 7:15pm On Aug 22, 2015
Toks2008:


No one is asking them to date married men but if a married man decides to marry them i wont advice them against it.

Married men are the answer to the prayers of the widows,female divorcees,unmarried chronic overaged ladies as well as never married single mothers.

The mystery of man and woman affair is too deep to understand and polygamy is actually the answer to the prayers of many ladies.

Na wa oh...

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:25pm On Aug 22, 2015
Adaeze003:


Na wa oh...


ok Ada please be sincere and tell me if these set of ladies should remain celibate forever, continue hoping for an unmarried man to come their way or accept marriage proposal from a married man..

1. A feemale ddivorcee with children.

2. A widow in her 40s or even late 20s with children.

3.A single lady in her lates 30s or 40s


Many ladies who are quick to condemn polygamy should pray never to find theirselves in a sittuation that will make them pray to have a married man look her way.

This life is too complex to understand.

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by enomakos(m): 7:25pm On Aug 22, 2015
babyfaceafrica:
hmmmm....17 yrs...3 guys in 2 days....issorite
14 and 15 years old are sleeping with 5 or 7 guys per day these day
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by enomakos(m): 7:28pm On Aug 22, 2015
misspicy:
Thank you OP,ope needs to see this,that girl don turn to neighbourhood hoe....
are u sure you are not ope?
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:33pm On Aug 22, 2015
enomakos:
14 and 15 years old are sleeping with 5 or 7 guys per day these day

Please dont remind me of how perverted this generation has become

A generation where young ladies are ready to have unending s.x rump with you but not interested in commitment.

A generation where the clamour for sexual chastity will be seen as madness.

A generation where a virgin at 25 is seen as an alien.

A generation where peiople now prefer to remain engaged rather than marry,they celebrate engagement ceremony,raise children as engaged couple just to make breaking up easier.

A generation where...

God have mercy on this perverted generation.

3 Likes

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:37pm On Aug 22, 2015
enomakos:
are u sure you are not ope?
You don dey use style find trouble.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by enomakos(m): 7:51pm On Aug 22, 2015
Toks2008:


Please dont remind me of how perverted this generation has become

A generation where young ladies are ready to have unending s.x rump with you but not interested in commitment.

A generation where the clamour for sexual chastity will be seen as madness.

A generation where a virgin at 25 is seen as an alien.

A generation where peiople now prefer to remain engaged rather than marry,they celebrate engagement ceremony,raise children as engaged couple just to make breaking up easier.

A generation where...

God have mercy on this perverted generation.
true talk bro
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by enomakos(m): 7:53pm On Aug 22, 2015
Toks2008:

You don dey use style find trouble.
i am a peacemaker bro
but she is the said ope
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 7:57pm On Aug 22, 2015
enomakos:
i am a peacemaker bro
but she is the said ope
lol..now you are definitely looking for her trouble.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Bdivine(f): 8:57pm On Aug 22, 2015
NOTHING LIKE BORN BY MISTAKE & EVERY PERSON GOD MADE IS CREATED 4 A SPOUSE ,SO ALL SINGLE MUMS JUST ALWAYS LOOK GOOD,BE PRAYERFUL,BE GODLY,BE WISER & HARDWORKING.STAY CALM & DON'T BE DESPERATE,JUST KNOW WHAT U NEED & UR MR RIGHT WILL COME.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Adaeze003(f): 9:03pm On Aug 22, 2015
Toks2008:



ok Ada please be sincere and tell me if these set of ladies should remain celibate forever, continue hoping for an unmarried man to come their way or accept marriage proposal from a married man..

1. A feemale ddivorcee with children.

2. A widow in her 40s or even late 20s with children.

3.A single lady in her lates 30s or 40s


Many ladies who are quick to condemn polygamy should pray never to find theirselves in a sittuation that will make them pray to have a married man look her way.

This life is too complex to understand.

Polygamy is really not my cup of tea and I don't like giving marriage advice coz I ain't married but I know women who stayed alone after their husbands passed. It might be hard but it is possible tho not compulsory.

So... let everyone do what they think best.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 9:43pm On Aug 22, 2015
Adaeze003:


Polygamy is really not my cup of tea and I don't like giving marriage advice coz I ain't married but I know women who stayed alone after their husbands passed. It might be hard but it is possible tho not compulsory.

So... let everyone do what they think best.


Lobatan.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 9:44pm On Aug 22, 2015
Bdivine:
NOTHING LIKE BORN BY MISTAKE & EVERY PERSON GOD MADE IS CREATED 4 A SPOUSE ,SO ALL SINGLE MUMS JUST ALWAYS LOOK GOOD,BE PRAYERFUL,BE GODLY,BE WISER & HARDWORKING.STAY CALM & DON'T BE DESPERATE,JUST KNOW WHAT U NEED & UR MR RIGHT WILL COME.

GBAM.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Johnny(m): 10:19pm On Aug 22, 2015
Nice post. My candid advice for young ladies is to try and as much as possible not to get pregnant for their boyfriends. And if they become pregnant, they should keep the pregnancy and try as much as possible to marry their baby daddy.

Having their love child and looking for another man to come and father him is wickedness; the kid will never have that true paternal love from the step-father who's not even happy sharing his wife's love with another person (I'm a victim).

Let those who have ears hear!

4 Likes

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 1:04am On Aug 23, 2015
Johnny:
Nice post. My candid advice for young ladies is to try and as much as possible not to get pregnant for their boyfriends. And if they become pregnant, they should keep the pregnancy and try as much as possible to marry their baby daddy.

Having their love child and looking for another man to come and father him is wickedness; the kid will never have that true paternal love from the step-father who's not even happy sharing his wife's love with another person (I'm a victim).

Let those who have ears hear!

May God bless you for this.

honestly i dont know how God wired the brains of ladies becauuse i have met so many unmarried single mums WHO WERE ACTUALLY THE ONEs THAT REFUSED TO STAY PUT WITH THE BABY DADDY and honestly i understand that some of them will have good reasons but the annoying thing is that they will now expect another man to come cater for them and another man s child which some guys don't mind especially if he also has a child out of wedlock but here is even the worst part.

The greedy,extorting,wicked,selfish and evil culture of some eastern part of Nigeria will still make insane demands on that man who chose to overlook the status of the lady to still come and pay crazily because he wants to marry a lady who is already a mum to another man s child.

pls get this straight,a man can decide to spend as he wants on his wife to be irrespective of her status but i believe in this case the families should call the son in-law to be with the girl and ask them how they want the marriage done rather than making stwpid demands.

I have an igbo lady friend who is a single mum and i bluntly told that her family and selfish tradition is responsible for her still being single at over 30 despite her beautiful nature and sweet looks and let me use this medium to advice igbo ladies reading this.

i have lost count of over aged sweet looking igbo ladies who are still single for no just cause except for the business mentality of their greedy family members who will stop at nothing to milk out an innocent young man all because he is interested in a supposed lady whose unclothedness has probably been seen by numerous men.

I seriously advice unmarried igbo girls to stop this foolish mentality that they are expensive to wed and understand that a woman s worth is not measured by the money spent to wed her but is hinged on her morale values and sexual chastity.

Iet this selfish and greedy family members understand that the origin of that tradition and culture they have twisted for greedy purpose is only for virgin brides and they should allow you and your hubby to plan within available funds.

You may ask why im picking on the igbo tribe but you have no idea how many delectable igbo ladies in their 30s who does not even have a clue of when they will marry yet they cant voice out.

My igbo sisters be wise and understand how harsh the economy is.Spending foolishly by force on marital ceremony is not as important as having reserve to plan your marital life.

Be warned.

3 Likes

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 6:52pm On Aug 23, 2015
How i wish many Nigerian ladies can do all they can to reduce the baby pooch after giving birth especially the unmarried single mothers.

Guys are ok to see their own baby pooch on your tummy but not another man's baby so try your best to burn that after child pregnancy on you and i believe if you really mean business,you will have no excuse not to have a flat tummy after child birth.

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 1:06pm On Sep 03, 2015
I sincerely wish many unmarried single mums can see this great thread.

Its not an envouragement to have children out of wedlock but for them to understand that they are not second class.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by wrongnumber: 11:30am On Sep 05, 2015
Toks2008:
Having a child out of wedlock is not ideal in anyway and ladies should do their best to avoid this not by the sinful and babaric act of abortion but by been careful to open up to a man who will love then enough not to abandon them and the child should pregnancy occurs.

Nevertheless,it is no longer a big deal that we have baby mamas who are never married and we have a growing number of this set of ladies due to many factors too numerous to elucidate upon.

The sad twist is that it is generally believed that such ladies usually find it difficultt to find a man that will eventually marry them due to the stigma of being a single mum out of wedlock.

In my opinion,being a single mother is no deterrent but most times,it is the approach of these ladies who find themselves in this situation that really makes it hard for them to get a man as fast as they would love to.

Here are very important list of advise that will be beneficial for you.

1.Be confident; Many men are very skeptical about fertility status of many ladies these days so as a single mum you should be proud of yourself that you are fertile and capable of procreating so carry yourself with dignity and be proud of yourself.

2.Look sexy: Get rid of that after child-birth pregnancy(protruding tummy) many Nigerian young mothers are known for. I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH.I guess this link will come in handy for you and other mothers because guys love flat tummies even after you have given birth toi children.http://www.findhomeremedy.com/12-wonderful-home-remedies-for-getting-flat-tummy-after-delivery/

3.Be selective: This might sound strange but if you have your way,look away from single never married guys. Yes this does not apply in all cases but i will be frank with you on this. You will be more appreciated by male divorcees,widower as well as the married men while single never married guys may just want to cool off with you. While you may ignore the married men,widowers,divorcees,or a never married single dad will make a better pair.

4.Don't discuss your child excessively: I have heard many single mothers say stuffs like..a man who will want me must want my child..

Well no man will ask you to forget your child but most guys are not interested in hearing you sing about the child,remember its not his child so in as much as a mother's love towards her child is strong,please try to avoid making it a subject matter even if the man also has his own children. Discussing your child excessively will take the shine off the affair.

5.Don't take up the responsibility: This is one big mistake single mothers do. Except the man absconds or his family bluntly refuses to accept the child,DON'T EVER TAKE UP THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING CARE OF THE CHILD.

In most cases,the baby daddy and his family are interested in the baby but not interested in the mother so many times these ladies usually hold on to the child because to them "if you don't want me,you can't have my child"

No matter the stress you go through in bringing the child up,you can never erase the paternity of the child and a day will likely come when the child will look for the dad or visavis and when the day comes,just one prostration and im sorry from the dad will melt the pains of neglect of many years so why insist on taking care of a child of a man who may come back to claim his biological child.

Please give the child to the father's family,after-all nobody in this world can contest the maternity of the child.Abeg free yourself because its a turn off for guys when they want to woo a cutie and discover that the baby you are with is actually yours...its better to know latter.

Or better still give the child to a family member of yours and be free to rediscover yourself.

6. Be financially independent: Please understand that many men these days are struggling and it will be very unrealistic for you to expect another man to automatically take up another man's responsibility.

Yes some men will not mind to take care of you and your child or children but try to be financially independent in the little way you can so that while you expect some form of financial succor from any man that comes into your life,you will not stress him too much by wanting him to provide for a child who is not his.

7.Don't be a dumping ground: Many ladies have been enmeshed with self pity and condemnation that they just rush into any affair with guys who they will ordinarily never date all because they see themselves as after one as they call it.

There is a saying for single mothers in my dialect "omo bibi ki n se arun" meaning having a child out of wedlock is not a disease.

8. Be bold,be confident never allow any man love you out of pity or take advantage of you.

Hope this helps.

Just reading through these and i must commend your fantastic overview.

Nike must see this.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 10:48pm On Sep 12, 2015
wrongnumber:


Just reading through these and i must commend your fantastic overview.

Nike must see this.

LOL! who is Nike?

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