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8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. - Family (5) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. (41307 Views)

Why Do We Have A Lot Of Single Mothers? / The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians / The Stigmatisation Of Unmarried/single Working Adult Nigerians (2) (3) (4)

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Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Gbengais(m): 9:06pm On Jan 14, 2016
namedonfinish:

Oop, my bad.. Sowi dear, after i went offline did a little investigation n i discovered that ur supposed anut is actually ur mom, so i see d reason y u are so pained. Bt dear no need been agressive, i already discovered who ur fathers are, so tell ur momma to reach me so i can give her d address of the three men who slept wit her in two days twenty years ago in the traquil city of Ibadan.. And as for u, stop blamin ur momma, she was only tryin to set a standard for u...lol...
Pls in case u need a job, contact me so i can get u one, cos my cute princess needs an after school nanny while am away @ work..
Also pls tell ur momma to teach u some manners so as to make u marketable for marriage.. Cos u sure dont hv any.. Hugs n kisses to u to alleviate ur miserable life..

This is what I call DOM: Death of a Moniker
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by midehi2(f): 9:10pm On Jan 14, 2016
2good:
Your question does not change the reality of my earlier comment, so there is no need to respond to the question. Men generally don't want to have anything to do with single mothers period!
how old are you?
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by midehi2(f): 9:12pm On Jan 14, 2016
2good:

Yes you are correct to say men will sleep with a lady with or without protection even if the woman is a maid . Her status in terms of education is generally irrelevant when it comes to mating. It is mostly broke men with little option that will accept a single mom as a wife when many single women cannot even find a husband. It is just the reality of life so your opinion doesn't matter because you are thinking like a woman and not a man.
shocked people like you still exist? smh

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Teespice(f): 9:13pm On Jan 14, 2016
all these end time advisers sef.
women whether single mothers or not, do what makes you happy.
conforming to what the likes of this op says is more like limiting yourselves.
what will be will always be.

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Nwanna2588: 9:19pm On Jan 14, 2016
I've a sister that is a single mother. What made hers unique is her refusal to go to the man that impregnated her even when the man is willing to take the responsibility.
I'd earlier told her that the family house is not going to contain us. If not for my mother harbouring her and her son, I for don kick am out. Few things are as annoying as this. If you've not witnessed it you'll not know how it pains.
Another annoying thing is that she christened the boy after my father.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by octopusfreaky(f): 9:50pm On Jan 14, 2016
mtschewwwi tot this made front page...This OP is vexing me shaaa.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Nobody: 9:50pm On Jan 14, 2016
dunsman:
Opp all these one wey u write na thrash, my advice to dem is dat dey should get married. Lobatan
op is trying to encourage more women to start dumping their baby father and move on with another man. I wont welcome a post like this
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by EreluY(f): 9:51pm On Jan 14, 2016
WHAT IS THE OP ON.....
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Johnson5258: 9:52pm On Jan 14, 2016
I prefer my spouse is pregnant before marriage but can't take the reverse, May God help us, na doctrine dey kill us.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by EreluY(f): 9:54pm On Jan 14, 2016
Nwanna2588:
I've a sister that is a single mother. What made hers unique is her refusal to go to the man that impregnated her even when the man is willing to take the responsibility.
I'd earlier told her that the family house is not going to contain us. If not for my mother harbouring her and her son, I for don kick am out. Few things are as annoying as this. If you've not witnessed it you'll not know how it pains.
Another annoying thing is that she christened the boy after my father.

[size=18pt]Omolere[/size]
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by ashade123: 9:55pm On Jan 14, 2016
Been a single mother is not a sin, I feel in love with a single mother, I mean a strong love that makes me to love her son with all my heart, can you imagine that I love her more than single ladies that are not yet married or give birth to any baby, and I will continue to love her forever, one man food is another man's poison, # I love you Amaka !!!

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Nobody: 9:55pm On Jan 14, 2016
Toks2008:


[b]4.Don't discuss your child excessively
: I have heard many single mothers say stuffs like..a man who will want me must want my child..

Well no man will ask you to forget your child but most guys are not interested in hearing you sing about the child,remember its not his child so in as much as a mother's love towards her child is strong,please try to avoid making it a subject matter even if the man also has his own children. Discussing your child excessively will take the shine off the affair.

5.Be in touch but don't take up the responsibility: This is one big mistake single mothers do. Except the man absconds or his family bluntly refuses to accept the child,DON'T EVER TAKE UP THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING CARE OF THE CHILD.

In most cases,the baby daddy and his family are interested in the baby but not interested in the mother so many times these ladies usually hold on to the child because to them "if you don't want me,you can't have my child"

No matter the stress you go through in bringing the child up,you can never erase the paternity of the child and a day will likely come when the child will look for the dad or visavis and when the day comes,just one prostration and im sorry from the dad will melt the pains of neglect of many years so why insist on taking care of a child of a man who may come back to claim his biological child.

Please give the child to the father's family but be in touch,after-all nobody in this world can contest the maternity of the child.Abeg free yourself because its a turn off for guys when they want to woo a cutie and discover that the baby you are with is actually yours...its better to know latter.

Or better still give the child to a family member of yours and be free to rediscover yourself.

You were doing good until you said this. It is a trifling piece of woman to dump responsibility for her flesh and blood to increase her chances for a man. Again if a man loves the woman, he lives her child too. A man who loves a woman delights in the things that make her happy.

2 Likes

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by FuckTheMod: 10:09pm On Jan 14, 2016
Princessderaa:
dix days matured men prefer single mothers to single lades.
dey der dey deceived yoursef

how many don ask u out?? na to chop clean mouth...

wu say make u go carry belle
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 10:10pm On Jan 14, 2016
ashade123:
Been a single mother is not a sin, I feel in love with a single mother, I mean a strong love that makes me to love her son with all my heart, can you imagine that I love her more than single ladies that are not yet married or give birth to any baby, and I will continue to love her forever, one man food is another man's poison, # I love you Amaka !!!

Aww! so sweet
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by kllinxman(m): 10:16pm On Jan 14, 2016
Any lady dat doznt believe dis is tired of abortion....
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Toks2008(m): 10:16pm On Jan 14, 2016
Ferraricash:
op is trying to encourage more women to start dumping their baby father and move on with another man. I wont welcome a post like this

That moment when you make comments without reading and comprehending a write up.smh

2 Likes

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by FemiFaniKayode: 10:17pm On Jan 14, 2016
namedonfinish:

well, my dear i knw where my daughter's father is, unlike ur anuty who slept with three men in two days and cant even say who her child's father is.. So i guess ur family is yet to get over the pathetic incident.. Take heart and my condolence to ur family biatch...

u be after 1
dem chook you belle tear race wink
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by jaybee3(m): 10:18pm On Jan 14, 2016
Toks2008:


Dude must you? please do me a favour...GROW UP

You need all the growing up more than i do bro
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by ajealadick(m): 10:20pm On Jan 14, 2016
dunsman:
Opp all these one wey u write na thrash, my advice to dem is dat dey should get married. Lobatan

If you are a single mom then e dey pain you. If you are not then don't be a judge in a case you don't have first hand experience. Everything said here is verbatim

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by FuckTheMod: 10:24pm On Jan 14, 2016
Toks2008:
Let me state that except you are making a post to yourself alone,i will imploy anyone tryng to make a point without using derogatory terms because i wont even read them let alone reply.

Thanks
dis one don smoke dry weed o grin
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by menxer: 10:56pm On Jan 14, 2016
Princessderaa:
dix days matured men prefer single mothers to single lades.

That's right, they (single mothers) tend to be more level headed, no too much formings or playing hard to get, know what they want and how to go about it.

I respect them especially those that are doing their best for the child...

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by chineloSA(f): 11:07pm On Jan 14, 2016
Nwanna2588:
I've a sister that is a single mother. What made hers unique is her refusal to go to the man that impregnated her even when the man is willing to take the responsibility.
I'd earlier told her that the family house is not going to contain us. If not for my mother harbouring her and her son, I for don kick am out. Few things are as annoying as this. If you've not witnessed it you'll not know how it pains.
Another annoying thing is that she christened the boy after my father.

grin grin grin grin

Don't pressure your sister to marry a man she is not comfortable with. She knows the man better than all of you.

1 Like

Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Faraidi(m): 11:13pm On Jan 14, 2016
Toks2008:
Having a child out of wedlock is not ideal in anyway and ladies should do their best to avoid this not by the sinful and barbaric act of abortion but by been careful to open up to a man who will love then enough not to abandon them and the child should pregnancy occurs.

Nevertheless,it is no longer a big deal that we have baby mamas who are never married and we have a growing number of this set of ladies due to many factors too numerous to elucidate upon.

The sad twist is that it is generally believed that such ladies usually find it difficultt to find a man that will eventually marry them due to the stigma of being a single mum out of wedlock.

In my opinion,being a single mother is no deterrent but most times,it is the approach of these ladies who find themselves in this situation that really makes it hard for them to get a man as fast as they would love to.

Here are very important list of advise that will be beneficial for you.

1.Be confident; Many men are very skeptical about fertility status of many ladies these days so as a single mum you should be proud of yourself that you are fertile and capable of procreating so carry yourself with dignity and be proud of yourself.

2.Look sexy: Get rid of that after child-birth pregnancy(protruding tummy) many Nigerian young mothers are known for. I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH.I guess this link will come in handy for you and other mothers because guys love flat tummies even after you have given birth toi children.http://www.findhomeremedy.com/12-wonderful-home-remedies-for-getting-flat-tummy-after-delivery/

3.Be selective: This might sound strange but if you have your way,look away from single never married guys. Yes this does not apply in all cases but i will be frank with you on this. You will be more appreciated by male divorcees,widower as well as the married men while single never married guys may just want to cool off with you. While you may ignore the married men,widowers,divorcees,or a never married single dad will make a better pair.

4.Don't discuss your child excessively: I have heard many single mothers say stuffs like..a man who will want me must want my child..

Well no man will ask you to forget your child but most guys are not interested in hearing you sing about the child,remember its not his child so in as much as a mother's love towards her child is strong,please try to avoid making it a subject matter even if the man also has his own children. Discussing your child excessively will take the shine off the affair.

5.Be in touch but don't take up the responsibility: This is one big mistake single mothers do. Except the man absconds or his family bluntly refuses to accept the child,DON'T EVER TAKE UP THE RESPONSIBILITY OF TAKING CARE OF THE CHILD.

In most cases,the baby daddy and his family are interested in the baby but not interested in the mother so many times these ladies usually hold on to the child because to them "if you don't want me,you can't have my child"

No matter the stress you go through in bringing the child up,you can never erase the paternity of the child and a day will likely come when the child will look for the dad or visavis and when the day comes,just one prostration and im sorry from the dad will melt the pains of neglect of many years so why insist on taking care of a child of a man who may come back to claim his biological child.

Please give the child to the father's family but be in touch,after-all nobody in this world can contest the maternity of the child.Abeg free yourself because its a turn off for guys when they want to woo a cutie and discover that the baby you are with is actually yours...its better to know latter.

Or better still give the child to a family member of yours and be free to rediscover yourself.

6. Be financially independent: Please understand that many men these days are struggling and it will be very unrealistic for you to expect another man to automatically take up another man's responsibility.

Yes some men will not mind to take care of you and your child or children but try to be financially independent in the little way you can so that while you expect some form of financial succor from any man that comes into your life,you will not stress him too much by wanting him to provide for a child who is not his.

7.Don't be a dumping ground: Many ladies have been enmeshed with self pity and condemnation that they just rush into any affair with guys who they will ordinarily never date all because they see themselves as after one as they call it.

There is a saying for single mothers in my dialect "omo bibi ki n se arun" meaning having a child out of wedlock is not a disease.

8. Be bold,and never allow any man love you out of pity or take advantage of you.


Hope this helps.
Your tribe is promoting indecency.
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by AyeeIdris(f): 3:11am On Jan 15, 2016
'unmarried Single' mother?? ARE There married single mothers
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Nobody: 3:11am On Jan 15, 2016
dunsman:
Opp all these one wey u write na thrash, my advice to dem is dat dey should get married. Lobatan

Get married to who,you didn't understand the OP's write up or what?
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Nobody: 3:14am On Jan 15, 2016
Princessderaa:
dix days matured men prefer single mothers to single lades.

Kk,hope you toll the line of baby mama,so "matured men" will help move your ministry cheesy [size=3pt]see as you dey reason like crayfish[/size]
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Nobody: 3:24am On Jan 15, 2016
remsonik:
Op you have started writing trash again. I only agree with your first and last point,others I say are trash. Leave the advise for the married and single parents to do!!
You told them not to take responsibility for their child? shocked haba bros why? What if the guy who impregnated them isn't capable to cater for the child financially? What if she doesn't even know who impregnated her?
She shouldn't be selective? Are you daft? So because she has a child already she's not eligible to have the best of life? She should start looking for divorcees and married men to marry?
I fear for all this marriage matter counselors on Nl o

How can a girl not know who impregnated her!
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by torontoboy(m): 4:35am On Jan 15, 2016
Very excellent write up! I agree on all points!
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Cherlene(f): 5:51am On Jan 15, 2016
Toks2008:


Habba! This is uncalled for.

Good morning

Pleased to see your REPLY to those LUDICROUS comments!!

Cherlene
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Cherlene(f): 5:58am On Jan 15, 2016
Toks2008:


No one is asking them to date married men but if a married man decides to marry them i wont advice them against it.

Married men are the answer to the prayers of the widows,female divorcees,unmarried chronic overaged ladies as well as never married single mothers.

The mystery of man and woman affair is too deep to understand and polygamy is actually the answer to the prayers of many ladies.

....... shocked
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Cherlene(f): 6:02am On Jan 15, 2016
Toks2008:



ok Ada please be sincere and tell me if these set of ladies should remain celibate forever, continue hoping for an unmarried man to come their way or accept marriage proposal from a married man..

1. A feemale ddivorcee with children.

2. A widow in her 40s or even late 20s with children.

3.A single lady in her lates 30s or 40s



Many ladies who are quick to condemn polygamy should pray never to find theirselves in a sittuation that will make them pray to have a married man look her way.

This life is too complex to understand.

At bolded, where does the SINGLE mothers of EARLY TWENTIES HARMONIZE in??

Cherlene
Re: 8 words of advice for the Unmarried Single Mothers. by Cherlene(f): 6:10am On Jan 15, 2016
Toks2008:
I sincerely wish many unmarried single mums can see this great thread.

Its not an envouragement to have children out of wedlock but for them to understand that they are not second class.

I have CERTAINLY taken the OCCASION to VIEW this thread.


Cherlene

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