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A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome - Family - Nairaland

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A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Biliamin(m): 7:38am On Aug 20, 2015
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS written by Adeyinka Temitope

I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK. Living in Abuja now.

The first thing that I discovered about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves – including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there – regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same – except status – conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class – even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton (the wife of Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it. But there’s one core difference between them and us (generally speaking), they (even the billionaires among them) work for their money, most of us steal ours
If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content and not having to “steal” which seems to be the norm these days.

We have Nigerian Children who have never worked for 5 minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving“ parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents” my son graduated 2 years ago and is still looking for a job, can you please assist!”

“Oh really! So where exactly is “THIS CHILD?” is my usual question. “Why are you the one making this call dad/mum?"

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and i, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to hear a 28 year old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but “earns” a six figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.

I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent conversation and we get to the inevitable question- so, what salary are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out – N250,000.00.

I ask if that is per month or per annum.

“Of course, it is per month”

“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”

“Well, because my current pocket money is N200,000.00 and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”

No wonder corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright.

Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa.

Wake up mum! Wake up dad! This syndrome – “my children will not suffer what I suffered" is destroying your tomorrow. You are practically loving your child to death.

I learnt the children of a former Nigeria Head of State with all the stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several time because of the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack them and off they go. What a life! No one wants to marry them.

Henry Ford said “hard work does not kill.” We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including family setting. It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow, the way the world is going, only those that are rugged, hard working and smart working that will survive. How will your ward fare?

Please forward this to all the parents you know and love. We must begin to save our young children from unintended consequences of "too much love" and weak parenting. It is the only way we can build a strong and decent Nigeria.

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Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Mbkite(m): 7:39am On Aug 20, 2015
What a piece

20 Likes 2 Shares

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Atlantian: 7:40am On Aug 20, 2015
Eye-opening.

5 Likes

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Immortall: 7:40am On Aug 20, 2015
....
Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by boboLIL(m): 7:40am On Aug 20, 2015
I wil make my children's bed rock....so help me God

2 Likes

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by quest003: 7:43am On Aug 20, 2015
Atlantian:
Absolute gibberish.
how old are you?

97 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by quest003: 7:46am On Aug 20, 2015
this write up only applies to parents who overindulge their kids, the syndrome likewise keeps gents and ladies on their toe to work hard in order to provide an enabling environment and better life for their offsprings.

4 Likes

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Atlantian: 7:48am On Aug 20, 2015
quest003:
how old are you?
I am incapable of being altruistic with silly people and opinions.

3 Likes

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by quest003: 8:06am On Aug 20, 2015
Atlantian:
I am incapable of being altruistic with silly people and opinions.
Good, you may have a wide vocabulary but that won't help you in this world. If trully you can't make any sense of the above written opinion, you are MORALLY deficient and needs help. I wish you luck.

178 Likes 4 Shares

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by missdebs(f): 8:09am On Aug 20, 2015
mo fe lowo ju daddy mi ooo, only in nigeria would u see parents using java phones and dier kids using iphone 6.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Atlantian: 8:15am On Aug 20, 2015
quest003:
well, you may have a wide vocabulary but that won't help you in this world if trully you can't make any sense of the above written opinion. I wish you luck.
You are incapable of wishing me luck, cos I do not believe nor trust in luck. I can not relate with your thread because it is factless, tactless, devoid of contemplative cerebration. I should, however, score you low, hoping you will improve and impress in your future posts. Sorry.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Mbkite(m): 8:44am On Aug 20, 2015
Lalasticlala u need to see this and do something about it.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by jashar(f): 10:44am On Aug 20, 2015
denying your children the struggle and pains you suffered that makes you formidable and strong today is doing more harm than good. It's imperative parents teach their children the importance of money too. Don't just cough up any sum the child asks for. Be the bad guy and sometimes say the golden word 'NO'. It builds character.

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Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Onegai(f): 3:33pm On Aug 20, 2015
What a wonderful piece! We all did summer jobs, one of my brothers kept getting commendations from his lowly summer job, one of Nigeria's richest men's daughter was a receptionist sef (I was meant to join her, lol) for summer. It taught me the value of money I worked hard for, till now I'll blow through money given me but will miserly hold onto money I earned grin

My kids are going to do the same, summer jobs and IT. It helps their CV and they get used to the corporate world faster.

48 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by anonimi: 5:13pm On Aug 20, 2015
jashar:
denying your children the struggle and pains you suffered that makes you formidable and strong today is doing more harm than good. It's imperative parents teach their children the importance of money too. Don't just cough up any sum the child asks for. Be the bad guy and sometimes say the golden word 'NO'. It builds character.

There is a saying I have read somewhere:

Men DENY their children of the experiences that made them men! embarassed

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Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Nobody: 5:23pm On Aug 20, 2015
Interesting piece!

1 Like

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by dearpreye(m): 6:42pm On Aug 20, 2015
I've witnessed parents play no little role in the destruction of theirs children's lives, all in a bid to prevent them from experiencing what they ( the parents endured). Balance is key!

We must ensure we tell our kids all the truth about life ASAP. We owe them that. We won't be here forever with them.

Educating them in the mere academics is grossly inadequate. We must teach them responsibility and accountability. We must teach them the need for modesty and frugality.

Besides, parents who really worked hard to get these resources hardly waste them like the way the thieving parents do.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by klickash077(m): 6:42pm On Aug 20, 2015
Biliamin:
We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright.

well said, totally agree with the OP. if only we place value on hardwork and not the quick money syndrome.

@Lalasticlala this is front page material, we become what we read or see constantly.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Dottore: 6:54pm On Aug 20, 2015
Ok

1 Like

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Nobody: 6:55pm On Aug 20, 2015
undecided
Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by GreenWhiteGreen(m): 6:55pm On Aug 20, 2015
shocked

1 Like

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by ladyF(f): 6:55pm On Aug 20, 2015
Not completely true. Some children of rich parents work to make something of themselves on their own.

It's [size=20pt]LadyF[/size] again grin grin grin

2 Likes

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by ganiyu26(m): 6:55pm On Aug 20, 2015
Good parenting!!!
Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by kingstylo01(m): 6:55pm On Aug 20, 2015
"My father walked so that i could run, now am running so that my kids would fly!" interprete this statement cool

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by kenny091(m): 6:56pm On Aug 20, 2015
Well written

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by trigar12(m): 6:57pm On Aug 20, 2015
Nonsense!!!
Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by anonimi: 6:57pm On Aug 20, 2015
Thanks Lalasticlala for taking this important educative thread to the FP.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by BiggerBangs: 6:57pm On Aug 20, 2015
grin

frustratedmann:
I got the biggest dick on my hood

[size=25pt]Your Fada[/size]...Mod what are you waiting for



[size=20pt]BiggerBangs[/size] was Here


All this plots of lands am buying is for our Unborn Child ooo and the-Wife-to-Be [size=16pt]LadyF[/size]










Haters Keep off Not For Sale
Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by natas22: 6:57pm On Aug 20, 2015
Op this is touching that's why am hussling grin

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by ikp4succes(m): 6:59pm On Aug 20, 2015
My Children will do beta than me...i hope so cheesy

1 Like

Re: A Call To Change "My Children Will Not Suffer What I Suffered" Syndrome by Skypelogger: 6:59pm On Aug 20, 2015
sad

1 Like

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