Timbuktou:
She should if she thinks she would lose the man or she thinks she's the best wife the man could ever get and she loves him so much she doesn't want him to miss a good thing. .

Meanwhile, she better have bought the engagement ring. Because you can't propose without an engagement ring, right?

Would such work for you?

freecocoa:
Would such work for you?

Nope.

Where is she rushing to?

If she thinks she has to propose, then the situation's probably:

1. The guy doesn't love her enough or doesn't see enough value in her to do so.

2. The guy's not ready or thinks he's not ready.

3. The guy's a pansy.

4. She's a desperate wench.

5. The guy's awesome, like me.

Either way it's not a good look.

Timbuktou:


Nope.

Where is she rushing to?

If she thinks she has to propose, then the situation's probably:

1. The guy doesn't love her enough or doesn't see enough value in her to do so.

2. The guy's not ready or thinks he's not ready.

3. The guy's a pansy.

4. She's a desperate wench.

5. The guy's awesome, like me.

Either way it's not a good look.

Well, I think it's best to do if the guy is slacking, saves everyone at the end of the day.

freecocoa:
Well, I think it's best to do if the guy is slacking, saves everyone at the end of the day.

If the guy's slacking, she might want to consider if he knows what he wants and whether the slacking is pathologicalan and will show up in other areas. A man should know whether or not a woman is wife material enough and move in before she gets snapped up before she's snapped up before someone sharper takes advantage of the opportunity.

Timbuktou:


If the guy's slacking, she might want to consider if he knows what he wants and whether the slacking is pathologicalan and will show up in other areas. A man should know whether or not a woman is wife material enough and move in before she gets snapped up before she's snapped up before someone sharper takes advantage of the opportunity.

And you don't think proposing is a way to find out if he knows what he wants? You do know some men have only the intention of stringing a woman along, while pretending to want her, right?

freecocoa:
And you don't think proposing is a way to find out if he knows what he wants? You do know some men have only the intention of stringing a woman along, while pretending to want her, right?

There are women wearing the most beautiful engagement rings who are being strung along as we speak. The proposal doesn't preclude being deceived, does it? Besides, a man may want to marry a woman and change his mind after the proposal.

Timbuktou:


There are women wearing the most beautiful engagement rings who are being strung along as we speak. The proposal doesn't preclude being deceived, does it? Besides, a man may want to marry a woman and change his mind after the proposal.

Ofcourse, but then, you'll know you did your best and he is the one with no conscience, at the end of the day, you'll know it's no fault of yours.

freecocoa:
Ofcourse, but then, you'll know you did your best and he is the one with no conscience, at the end of the day, you'll know it's no fault of yours.

Not all relationship will or should end in marriage. People don't always with marriage in view, both genders.

So, if the girl is so interested in marriage she may give him some time, say five years after which she could ask him where the relationship is going.

*straight face*

Timbuktou:


Not all relationship will or should end in marriage. People don't always with marriage in view, both genders.

So, if the girl is so interested in marriage she may give him some time, say five years after which she could ask him where the relationship is going.

*straight face*

I know and agree that not all relationships will or should end in marriage but the idea is to let your partner know your intentions.

You are kidding right? 5 years? I hope you know we ain't talking about teenagers here, for grown adults, 1 year is enough to know what you want with a relationship.

freecocoa:
I know and agree that not all relationships will or should end in marriage but the idea is to let your partner know your intentions.

You are kidding right? 5 years? I hope you know we ain't talking about teenagers here, for grown adults, 1 year is enough to know what you want with a relationship.

What if both parties have different intentions? What if the guy's only looking for a baby mama?

That was a joke. One year is plenty time, I agree. So, instead of a proposal a girl could just ask where the relationship is going.

Timbuktou:


What if both parties have different intentions? What if the guy's only looking for a baby mama?

That was a joke. One year is plenty time, I agree. So, instead of a proposal a girl could just ask where the relationship is going.

Then he should let her know, if she's cool with it, good for both of them, if not, she should go her way.

Ofcourse she must have asked before deciding to propose na, only a f00lish woman will propose to a man who hasn't shown any sign of wanting to commit to her.

freecocoa:
Then he should let her know, if she's cool with it, good for both of them, if not, she should go her way.

Ofcourse she must have asked before deciding to propose na, only a f00lish woman will propose to a man who hasn't shown any sign of wanting to commit to her.

He doesn't have to let her know anything until she asks. If she's satisfied she's done enough to deserve marriage she should ask and be prepared to move on, as more likely than not she was not considered good enough for marriage to begin with. There's such a shortage of quality wife material that a man who knows what he's doing would dally. I just don't see that happening realistically.


People don't ask before proposal na. The proposal is the asking . To which the proposee may accept or decline.

Timbuktou:


He doesn't have to let her know anything until she asks. If she's satisfied she's done enough to deserve marriage she should ask and be prepared to move on, as more likely than not she was not considered good enough for marriage to begin with. There's such a shortage of quality wife material that a man who knows what he's doing would dally. I just don't see that happening realistically.


People don't ask before proposal na. The proposal is the asking . To which the proposee may accept or decline.

Wow! What are we even talking about? Two people who genuinely care about each other in a relationship know what the other usually is about, that's what dating is for, unless you are trying to say people go into relationships with the intention to lie or not be themselves.

When I say ask, I meant, have an idea of what the relationship is all about.

For a minute I forgot who I'm conversing with, you don't believe in love, so you'll never understand it like I do.

freecocoa:
Wow! What are we even talking about? Two people who genuinely care about each other in a relationship know what the other usually is about, that's what dating is for, unless you are trying to say people go into relationships with the intention to lie or not be themselves.

When I say ask, I meant, have an idea of what the relationship is all about.

For a minute I forgot who I'm conversing with, you don't believe in love, so you'll never understand it like I do.

People can genuinely care about each other without getting married. Oprah Winfrey has been with her boyfriend longer than some so-called marriages have lasted. Bam! Not wanting to get married to someone isn't the same as lying to them.

An idea of what the relationship is about? What does that even mean? Does a guy tell a woman he wants to marry her the day he asks for her number? Things generally tend to progress organically, and the decision to marry or not isn't time-determined.

Nah, my opinion on love doesn't mean I don't understand attraction or affection. It only means I can process relationship issues with less emotion. It doesn't stop me from being a caring and wonderful husband or father.

Timbuktou:


People can genuinely care about each other without getting married. Oprah Winfrey has been with her boyfriend longer than some so-called marriages have lasted. Bam! Not wanting to get married to someone isn't the same as lying to them.

An idea of what the relationship is about? What does that even mean? Does a guy tell a woman he wants to marry her the day he asks for her number? Things generally tend to progress organically, and the decision to marry or not isn't time-determined.

Nah, my opinion on love doesn't mean I don't understand attraction or affection. It only means I can process relationship issues with less emotion. It doesn't stop me from being a caring and wonderful husband or father.

I thought we already have that part covered, people caring about each other and not wanting marriage, that is, I know and agree with this.

Knowing what the relationship and each other is about means, talking about different issues, ranging from marriage, children, politics, relationships, sex, just general stuffs and knowing what the other thinks of it, that's how you get to know someone and what kind of relationship you might be having with person, how can you even ask if a man tells a woman he wants to marry her on the first date? Dude I'm not daft na.

I believe a grown man knows if he wants to get married or not, now knowing whether he wants to marry the person he is with, is another thing, that's why people talk, there's no way one should propose to a person they don't know their stance on marriage, that's just dumb and crazy.

freecocoa:


I believe a grown man knows if he wants to get married or not, now knowing whether he wants to marry the person he is with, is another thing, that's why people talk, there's no way one should propose to a person they don't know their stance on marriage, that's just dumb and crazy.

Which answers the OP, doesn't it? Thread closed

Timbuktou:


Which answers the OP, doesn't it? Thread closed

It doesn't.

I'd like to think the woman proposing already knows the man is interested in marriage.

edwife:


Today is her owambe day,waiting sha....

as you know it



it was a good day. Just got home few minutes now. I don't joke with owanmbe o



Unfortunately I just have a little headache because of the braids I made for the owanmbe and the fact that I insisted that the hairdresser must pack it donut style so I can be able to tie my gele comfortably.




babes otiremi silly. My girl too Don sleep. She is not a fan of owanmbe as she Don grow.shell rather watch Barney from morning to night and Tom and Jerry with her nanny. Omo girl

good night. Ajilayo o

Orisirisi


you don't mean it


maybe if his account is like otedola or dangotes own then he's worth my being a customer of baba lawo

crackhaus:
As far as the Nigerian system of marriage is concerned, it isn't quite logical for the woman to propose - it could very work in other places where men are not required to make traditional gestures to the intending wife's family.

I mean, so after she proposes, what happens next?
Isn't it the man that still gets to spend hundreds of thousands (even millions buying tubers of yams and drinks that her ancestors don't need?

Let's be honest, the dynamics doesn't just work with the way we go about our marriages in Nigeria.
This does not mean that any woman who feels the need to propose shouldn't go for it, she just needs to understand that she backs her man into a tight corner by so-doing...then there's also the fact that women don't handle rejection as good as men do.

A NO from that man will send her into depression and shock faster than 5000volts of lightning will do - and God help that man if she's someone like Sambarry, she will even end up taking the man's hair to her babalawo to make sure he never gets married to anyone else.

freecocoa:
It doesn't.

I'd like to think the woman proposing already knows the man is interested in marriage.

Ok

UjSizzle:
Nah. If a guy wants to get married, he's got to pop the question. If he's dragging there are subtle ways to get him moving. If he doesn't understand subtlety, there are more in-your-face options

I do know some men don't like women proposing to them, and I haven't seen who likes it around here.

jaybee3:


I like it and it's my style

There you go, that's an invitation already!

Will I also have to bring nkwu to meet your parents?

Propose not proper.

She rather discuss it with him.

pickabeau1:


Lol

Why must a woman be queen

She can be king Na...

A queen is still by a king...



Or get preggers...

Pardon me but very ediotic reasoning. In language, there has to be words that distinguish the two genders, just because one wants equal rights does not mean she wants to have words used to describe another gender. With your reasoning why shouldn't fathers be mothers after all they are trying to get longer leave to be with their babies. Infact, why differentiate at all, why not cats and dogs, why not call them all dogs? Why not just call everything "beings" no need for differentiating between genders and species.. A woman wanting to be called king defies the whole concept of equal rights, the words used to described her should be able to equally stand against the word used to describe him.

Use your brain joor, why isn't prince phillip called king if a queen is still by a king?

Trolls!

Cats and dogs now equal to gender differences

I wonder who's the idïot

Smh...leaping into something beyond your comprehension

edwife:

Today is her owambe day,waiting sha....

Lol... and she didn't fail to respond

pickabeau1:
Cats and dogs now equal to gender differences

I wonder who's the idïot

Smh...leaping into something beyond your comprehension

See, I did not call you an ediot but your reasoning.
With your reasoning, nothing stops you from going further to say exactly what you said but with other species instead.

There is nothing comprehensible about your statement, it is just foolish to say something as silly as that. Why queen why not king, following your level of reasoning, I say, why cat, why not dog. No need to distinguish in pickabeau's mind.

Smh.....

cococandy:
Obviously it depends on the man in question.
After dating him for a while, you'd know if he's the type to be put off by such things or not.
Needless to say it would be foolhardy to propose to guy who you know isn't open to such.

But if you're not sure, then putting it out there is better than hanging in limbo without knowing where the relationship is going.

If he says no, what's left to do than move onto the next person.

only sensible post here.

freecocoa:
Exactly.

I don't see why a man who loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, will suddenly lose interest because you asked him to marry you, which is what you both want.

so you can see that men who have this kind of attitude, the same men you guys lust after, are plain silly!

You ladies have been awsome in here especially @freecocoa and @cocoacandy. I should have come here before now

Abeg ooo, Dat lady Dat proposed 2 a guy early dis year d Don marry