OK this ones a brain tease , I was married in a foreign country to my now husband who promised a formal wedding when we returned home now the tricky part is my family don't know were married

so I want to marry here not right away once were settled of course
Ive reminded my now hubby of this but hes dissided that once is enough no i don't want to spend thousands i just want a wedding is that greedy of me??

I've also told him that if he doesn't want to remarry here that he should tell my family that we are already wed

What do you think ,

Marriage twice to same person?, to me that sounds absurd.If u're a Nigerian,d best i advice he does is to pay ur bride price,n maybe settle for a traditional weddin,cos d english has already been done.Ok

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You people should do the traditional wedding

in africa thats what we value here.

so make sure that you do that.

have a blessed married life.

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we married in Malaysia with only his friends in a registry, it happend so fast i don't even feel married no rings have been exchanged only a few very simple words and its over
I'm the youngest of 5 and the last born daughter never married before.

my hubby said that we look on this as an engagement A commitment to each other
my family is not too keen on him and say hes not a good choice they accept him yet they warn me away
I cant keep lying to them , I'm in love with my man and we married without consent.

I'm scared My family will disown me when they find out
his family have accept me and welcome me into there home
I don't want to loose my family but I have given myself and my love to this man I WILL choose him over them.


Tell me im mad OR stupid , I love him completely we have dated each other 4 years this August

I'm Australian Born my man is Nigerian born we want to go back to Nigeria this Christmas , He is the last and oldest son in his family after his bros death, He has younger bro. So he is considered the man of the house his Farther has also passed. I honestly had hoped for is mother he would have a formal wedding he has 3 sisters all Wed. his young bro the only one left unwed.

I wasn't raised in Africa so i don't know the customs . I want to know and understand my man and how he thinks doesn't every girl dream of that day. and a pretty gown.

A traditional wedding ceremony is a good idea. Weddings don't have to be expensive - there are ways.

kearra:

OK this ones a brain tease , I was married in a foreign country to my now husband who promised a formal wedding when we returned home now the tricky part is my family don't know were married

so I want to marry here not right away once were settled of course
Ive reminded my now hubby of this but hes dissided that once is enough no i don't want to spend thousands i just want a wedding is that greedy of me??

I've also told him that if he doesn't want to remarry here that he should tell my family that we are already wed

What do you think ,

I have never had any inclination to ask anyone this question on this forum before, but what is your Hubby's immigration status in Malaysia and why did you have a shotgun wedding with him? The reason i am asking this is because, before you did the registry, he promised you that you would go home to Nigeria to do the formal wedding, but has now not only changed his mind, but is also calling you greedy and insensitive for wanting what you both initially agreed upon IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE, SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT

I think it is the right thing for you to have the traditional thing, but can his finances carry the ceremony?

From your second reply, i will say Please Let Him Marry You Again. is he that broke? he didn't marry you proper yes! no ring, 5 mins thanks mama wedding?

a wedding should be done properly. he didn't pick you up by the roadside did he? Tell him it won't cost much. just him get the wedding rings for both of you on his part, while you plan it as small as possible with family and friends. your parents can even pay for it (oyinbo way) while you get your gown.

if he refuses, think again what agenda he has.

I'm Australian Born my man is Nigerian born we want to go back to Nigeria this Christmas ,

I suggest when you get to Nigeria later this christmas you guys should do a simple traditional wedding. you should discuss with your husband and tell your family as soon as possible. when you guys have enuf money you can do the wearing gown thing.

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it wasn't a shot gun wedding it was more of a sprue of the moment thing
my hubby was studding over there Id been to visit him a few times over the 4 years he stayed
he originaly was to come to Australia as a sponsored visitor by me and my family because the wished too meet him . the papers had already been sent for consideration.
He was accepted by the way but the only offed him a 1 month visa, we then applied for a prospective spouse visa to find it was too expensive extra 10,000 ngn. thats when we dissided to do the register wedding to get a spouse visa was only 6000.ngn he paid that all himself.
so i guess after all the spending we were broke i had to return to Malaysia 3 more times to formalise it all that took us 9 months, he was finely accepted and we now live in Australia with my family which he hates were looking for a home of our own.
my hubbys been here 3 months now and finely got work only last month. I already had casual work
Its been a hard time for him I don't want to rush him

No i don't want to rock the boat I just want compleation for a promise, as i mentioned earlier I'm not expecting him to do it rite away maybe in 12 months from the original wedding so it falls on the same date.

My family expext traditional being the younest daughter and all. and all 3 of his sisters had traditional, I'm not shaw what his family expect
He is under financial strain right now so that is why we had the quickie so that we could at least be together we even shared the cost of the register. 10,137.00 ngn

To set the record right hubby didn't say i was greedy or insensitive I was asking that question of myself. Am I asking too much of him.

He has only brought up the subject of rings once and that was after some guy came up to me said i was a sexy lady and asked to dance with me , my hubby got mad and told him to get lost that I was his wife,
the argument got nasty when the guy twice his size said she not taken by no man if she got no ring to say she yours !!!
would it be wrong if I brought his ring ??
Is a Australian tradition here that she buy his and he buys hers I like that idea.

our nigerian brothers sef

You don't have Ring? what? in this age of cute engagement ring and then wedding ring you got none
girl, he should give you a ring

Just go and do traditional wedding.

Get blessings from home cos you would need them at some time.
When you need answers about your origin or which part of your tradition your parents bound you to.

God loves the respect of tradition. So, go and tell your parents before you give them an illness.

I do have small place in another town/ village when we visit and stay with family we stay there and no they don't know were married yet my hubby works in city were my family is I work away they supply a home for me ( employer )

its hard we live with them and away from them then i leave o go back to work its a bit like shift work for us both we get back together a few days a month
We have no home of our own yet so we travel a lot too and from work , Live in work
In a patient care assistant , he is a support worker for aged people and young people who are dissabled he works and lives on the property
so the only time we GET together is when he comes up to were i work and live on his days off. or i go to him
at my family's home they just dint know we wed yet just engaged

please Mrs kearra tell you family you are married
and ask you husband to buy you a wedding ring ,
a wife without a wedding ring something is missing
is that how they wed people in Malaysia?

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Nothing wey person no go hear from these foreign women.

You married on the spur of the moment?  

haba. . .

small time dem go say the guy no treat dem right. How guy go treat you right when he no marry you right?

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Justgood,

don't blame foreign women. Blame our brothers who marry for jetting out. maybe brother managed to leave nig to malaysia and hit on Australian lady he met. it is not her fault. this guy should just do the right thing, get his wife a ring, do family intro and announce the marriage to families and friends. how hard is that?

Both parties are to blame jare.

Why should I not blame the woman?

JUSTBAD U AGAIN I THINK U DONT KNOW WHAT UR GUYS CAN DO. LET ME TELL WHAT NIJI GUY DID TO MY FREIND, AFTER 4 YEARS LEFT THE GIRL TO NIJI HE SOPPOSE TO STAY FOR 1MTH BUT DID MOOR 5 GOOD MTH LET THE GIRL SEND HIM MONEY COSE THIS COSE THAT AND IN THE END THE MONEY WAS USED TO MARRY NIJI GIRL OVER THERE SOMEONE HOW CARE FOR U U WILL TREAT THAT PERSON THAT WAY THEN U ARE BEN LADIN'S BROS  WHY DON' WANNA UNDERSTAND ARE U HAOUSA MAN ,

queenTG:

JUSTBAD U AGAIN I THINK U DONT KNOW WHAT UR GUYS CAN DO. LET ME TELL WHAT NIJI GUY DID TO MY FREIND, AFTER 4 YEARS LEFT THE GIRL TO NIJI HE SOPPOSE TO STAY FOR 1MTH BUT DID MOOR 5 GOOD MTH LET THE GIRL SEND HIM MONEY COSE THIS COSE THAT AND IN THE END THE MONEY WAS USED TO MARRY NIJI GIRL OVER THERE SOMEONE HOW CARE FOR U U WILL TREAT THAT PERSON THAT WAY THEN U ARE BEN LADIN'S BROS WHY DON' WANNA UNDERSTAND ARE U HAOUSA MAN ,

MumuTG,

I will lay it down for you. If you are so stupid that any man can decieve you with claims of love, you probably deserve what you get.
Is there no man in your country? Why dont you marry men from your country if Nigerian men are so bad?

Some people think that its alright for women to act daft and stupid and blame guys who take advantage of their stupidity. As long as we have women who keep telling the girls that its alright for them to be stupid, there will be boys to take advantage of them.

Rather than telling them them what they have done stupidly, you all go out and tell the man (as long as he is Nigerian) that he is a devil. If someone knows that there are burglars on the prowl and leaves his door open, would you not say he was foolish to have left his doors open in the knowledge that burglars are on the prowl?

justgood wherever GOD know that i'm not mumu okay anyway thanks

Go and do the traditional marraige abeg.

marriage