yetseyi:


Loool oooo , I didn't want to derail the thread that's the reason I evaded that question. I wont even go near a "bad guy" and besides my definition of a bad guy is a bit strange ooo. Let's say my orientation is a bit different (you know that already joor).

Loool. Don't worry, whenever you see me create threads, especially in this section - it's a fun topic to get folks to loosen up a bit and express themselves. Nothing to get too scholastic about. So you can veer off and veer back in - no rules on the playground.

Being a bad guy encompasses a lot of things - it's just about being thorough and firm in ya approach, without being emotional or trying to overly pander to anyone. Like Pepa referenced "thug" (which is the lowest/extreme form on the outside) - the imagery of a "thug" represents that cos a thug doesn't give a fvck. And folks who're thorough, regardless of status, always have a percentage of "thug" in them cos it comes with the territory. And some might allude to "alpha male" (this sounds a tad cliche these days). So whatever ya definition is, you can always say it. Regardless, this isn't about a Lil Wayne type of character cos Lil Wayne is more of a weirdo than a bad boy despite the fugly tattoos all over his face and how he looks like a frog. He's a softie and once you wipe those tattoos off - Lil Wayne should fall into the tad wayward/weird sweet/nice guy bracket.

Err, I know you're a Church girl. But I remember back in day when I used to go to Church a lot (I was hyped/crazy then but somewhat reserved now due to growing up), I had all the chics in my Church on lock and they knew what I was about and the type of crowd I used to run with. However, they never really cared apart from telling me from time to time than those I hang around with. But then, those were my teen years. So I know how Church girls get down.

Just have fun on the thread - no rules.

Another interesting pic - Nipsey Hussle, a real and certified G, bagged Lauren London (they're still together)

Shymm3x:



Being a bad guy encompasses a lot of things - it's just about being thorough and firm in ya approach, without being emotional or trying to overly pander to anyone.

So good guys are not thorough and firm and bad boys
cant be emotional that's very interesting

Shymm3x:


And folks who're thorough, regardless of status, always have a percentage of "thug" in them cos it comes with the territory. And some might allude to "alpha male" (this sounds a tad cliche these days). So whatever ya definition is, you can always say it.
.

hmmm, so if my inference is right- bad guys are thorough/ firm and guys who are thorough have a percentage of "thug" in them. So can I safely say that you think good/nice guys who are thorough /firm have some thuggery attitude. I am assuming you accept that there are very nice sweet guys that are thorough or am I missing something about your definition of thoroughness.

Whats with all this alpha /beta /gamma male you guys keep talking about here and there.

Shymm3x:


So I know how Church girls get down.

Thats interesting

Shymm3x:


Another interesting pic - Nipsey Hussle, a real and certified G, bagged Lauren London (they're still together)

Well maybe he falls within the " tad wayward/ weird sweet/nice guy" bracket. He looks like my own definition of a bad boy but then things are not always the way they seem to appear.

yetseyi:

So good guys are not thorough and firm and bad boys
cant be emotional that's very interesting

Good guys in this context basically means pushovers and the ones who'll always go out of their way to pander to their partners. So when you're in that space, you can never be thorough/firm and that's what separates the two. The "bad boys" are also human and they do good things but they're always firm in the act.

Also being emotional is about showing your soft side all the time. It comes with having a weak mentality and that's where Mr. Nice Guy lives and thrives. However, "bad boys" deal with being passionate and that comes with commitment and strong mentality.

hmmm, so if my inference is right- bad guys are thorough/ firm and guys who are thorough have a percentage of "thug" in them. So can I safely say that you think good/nice guys who are thorough /firm have some thuggery attitude. I am assuming you accept that there are very nice sweet guys that are thorough or am I missing something about your definition of thoroughness.

Lol. Nice guys can't be thorough. Once you thorough, there's no way you would be a pushover or be in a space where you've to get emotional all the time. Being thorough comes with a strong mentality and firmness that exudes that control at all times. Nice guys in this context lack the composure and mental fortitude to operate at that level. You'll always have ya way with them.

Whats with all this alpha /beta /gamma male you guys keep talking about here and there.

Lmao. I believe they're just creating brackets to the different types of male personalities. Alpha males are most regarded as bad boys, while beta males are the sweet/nice guys, and I'd wager that gamma males are the homoerotic ones.

yetseyi:

Thats interesting

I like my Church chics - big fan. I'm planning to start going to Church again cos that's where all the nice chics hide.

Well maybe he falls within the " tad wayward/ weird sweet/nice guy" bracket. He looks like my own definition of a bad boy but then things are not always the way they seem to appear.

Gotcha!

So why did you and missy89 allude to my statement being a blanket one when you both like "bad boys" albeit she's into the white ones? I guess I'm right then, alie?

Anyway, this is another one - Kevin McCall and super model Eva Pigford (Marcille). Female problems!

Shymm3x:


I like my Church chics - big fan. I'm planning to start going to Church again cos that's where all the nice chics hide.

Worship with us at jesus house dc. Many chicks there. Though I haven't been there for a while thou

Shymm3x:


I like my Church chics - big fan. I'm planning to start going to Church again cos that's where all the nice chics hide.

It would be nice if you start going but please not because of the innocent ladies.

Shymm3x:


Gotcha!

So why did you and missy89 allude to my statement being a blanket one when you both like "bad boys" albeit she's into the white ones? I guess I'm right then, alie?

You didnt get me at all I never gave the impression that I like bad boys lai lai . You are wrong yes you are. I only made an exception as it is in with all rules but that doesn't translate to me supporting the exception.

[/quote]



The lady actually looks "badder" than the guy from my perspective but then one cant always judge by looks.

Missy89:




Worship with us at jesus house dc. Many chicks there. Though I haven't been there for a while thou

Chai.

Missy89:


Worship with us at jesus house dc. Many chicks there. Though I haven't been there for a while thou

Lol. Which one is Jesus house? I can't keep up with all the gazillion of naij/African Churches in every nook and cranny of the planet.

Shyte, I'll have to get a private jet to start travelling to DC all the way from here.

Anyway, it seems there's a naij Church down the road from where I live cos I hear voices of naij folks every night at the car park next to my house. And no black person lives on my street apart from me and some next family that lives down the road from me. I'll have to check the check the Church out one of these days after summer to what's popping in there.

yetseyi:

It would be nice if you start going but please not because of the innocent ladies.

Innocent ladies are my best friends and it will be nice if they can lead a brother in the path of holiness. I'm a nice guy.

I do miss Church sometimes, especially the praise/worship and the family setting (that's what I used to like a lot about Church, anyway). But I'm not really a fan of everything else that goes on in there and I've never been the religious type. Praise/worship in a crowd is definitely spiritual...as for prayers, I can always do that by myself and communicate with my maker.

You didnt get me at all I never gave the impression that I like bad boys lai lai . You are wrong yes you are. I only made an exception as it is in with all rules but that doesn't translate to me supporting the exception.

Hmmm. Let me give you a next bracket. Who do you prefer - Burna boi or Wizkid?

The lady actually looks "badder" than the guy from my perspective but then one cant always judge by looks.

Nah, that's a super model. But Kevin McCall is a G.

Shymm3x:


Good guys in this context basically means pushovers and the ones who'll always go out of their way to pander to their partners.

pushovers - No
Going out of the way to please (note the word please)- yes.

Shymm3x:

So when you're in that space, you can never be thorough/firm and that's what separates the two. The "bad boys" are also human and they do good things but they're always firm in the act.

Not being able to be thorough if a good guy - wrong
Bad boys doing good things sometimes - right

Shymm3x:


Also being emotional is about showing your soft side all the time. It comes with having a weak mentality and that's where Mr. Nice Guy lives and thrives. However, "bad boys" deal with being passionate and that comes with commitment and strong mentality.



D

So what if mr Nice guy shows his soft side most of the time is there anything wrong with that. He's not being weak just being a good guy and a good lady will NEVER translate that as weakness.

Shymm3x:


Lol. Nice guys can't be thorough. Once you thorough, there's no way you would be a pushover or be in a space where you've to get emotional all the time. Being thorough comes with a strong mentality and firmness that exudes that control at all times. Nice guys in this context lack the composure and mental fortitude to operate at that level. You'll always have ya way with them.


D

Wrong again I will say again a guy can be a good guy and be firm.

Shymm3x:


Lol. Which one is Jesus house? I can't keep up with all the gazillion of naij/African Churches in every nook and cranny of the planet.

Shyte, I'll have to get a private jet to start travelling to DC all the way from here.

Anyway, it seems there's a naij Church down the road from where I live cos I hear voices of naij folks every night at the car park next to my house. And no black person lives on my street apart from me and some next family that lives down the road from me. I'll have to check the check the Church out one of these days after summer to what's popping in there.

D church is actually in md. Dunno why they have that weird name. Haven't been there in like 2 yrs thou. Heard d pastor bought a bentley. Balling!

Decent church thou. Meet some cool naija peeps there back in college days.

Shymm3x:


Innocent ladies are my best friends and it will be nice if they can lead a brother in the path of holiness. I'm a nice guy.

I do miss Church sometimes, especially the praise/worship and the family setting (that's what I used to like a lot about Church, anyway). But I'm not really a fan of everything else that goes on in there and I've never been the religious type. Praise/worship in a crowd is definitely spiritual...as for prayers, I can always do that by myself and communicate with my maker.



Hmmm. Let me give you a next bracket. Who do you prefer - Burna boi or Wizkid?



Nah, that's a super model. But Kevin McCall is a G.

Hahahaha leading in path of holiness, I would suggest a brother leads a brother .

Church is really nice and you know one shouldn't forsake the gathering of the brethren.

Burna boy or wizkid - NONE OF THE ABOVEEEE

Though some ladies may prefer burna boy but for me none of them

yetseyi:

pushovers - No
Going out of the way to please (note the word please)- yes.

Lol. Once you go out of ya way to please people all the time...that effectively makes you a pushover and weak. And that's where sweet/nice guys reside.

Not being able to be thorough if a good guy - wrong
Bad boys doing good things sometimes - right

Good in this context is subjective. We're all human and being human naturally makes on compassionate on one level or the other. However, it has to be in context. There's a difference between showing compassion cos the human element in you stimulates it, and going out of ya way to show compassion all the time, to pander to the insatiable need of ya partner, whilst depriving yourself the firmness that comes with being thorough. If you can't put ya foot on the ground - you're definitely not thorough.

So what if mr Nice guy shows his soft side most of the time is there anything wrong with that. He's not being weak just being a good guy and a good lady will NEVER translate that as weakness.

Showing ya soft side all the times means being weak. You can't be doing that cos people will always take advantage of you once they see how vulnerable you're. Only weak people do that.

Wrong again I will say again a guy can be a good guy and be firm.

Again, subjective in context. Humane good - yes. Overly pandering to people "good" - no. You can be firm when people can easily take advantage of you at will.

Missy89:

D church is actually in md. Dunno why they have that weird name. Haven't been there in like 2 yrs thou. Heard d pastor bought a bentley. Balling!

Decent church thou. Meet some cool naija peeps there back in college days.

Lmao...Pastor Offering. A lot of decent black chics are always hiding in Church - time to start sniping them out.

Anyway, why didn't you reply the other post about how you can't handle long term relationships? I'm trying to help you out on how to deal with it mentally cos I used to be like that. It's more of a mental thing and once you can overcome the mental aspect of it, you'd be alright. You just have experiment with some guy from around the way you can connect with...and grow subconsciously with it - till you can be comfortable in that space.

yetseyi:

Hahahaha leading in path of holiness, I would suggest a brother leads a brother .

Church is really nice and you know one shouldn't forsake the gathering of the brethren.

Burna boy or wizkid - NONE OF THE ABOVEEEE

Though some ladies may prefer burna boy but for me none of them

Lmao...brother leading another brother is homoerotic. I need innocent ladies to lead me in the path of holiness and righteousness just as Mary Magdalene led the disciples to Jesus We're all Jesus people!

The fact that you alluded to ladies preferring Burna boy shows you have got a thing for him as well lol.

Now imagine Burna Boy serenading you with this: "You see my dark shades on like I can’t see/but you know sey me fancy you...Funke Adekunle/Dolapo and Yetunde/Rain rain go away/Me and them girls dem want to play".

Or this:

Awww huuu awww huuu awww huuu/
Said tonight will be your night/
Awww huuu awww oii oiii/
Gotta be doing something right

What would you say?

Timbuktou:
When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and,
trust me, over time, nothing is sexier. ----Sheryl Sanberg.

Shymme3x, the quote above is the conclusion of the whole matter. Women will fvck bad boys but marry nice guys. Pepa is only regretting her Will Smith experience because he'd have made a great husband not that he's such a great guy that it would be logical to be with him, same with Vivica.

I agree with Sheryl for those interested in multiple dating

I think it is both ways... guys might like a figure 8, good head giver and fabulous kisser however, when it comes to marriage, I doubt those values matter or are primary.

Kimoni:
Like poles repel, unlike poles attract. It's a universal law that applies to humans as well.

It's very natural to attract to yourself one who has those qualities that you do not possess and it's doesn't apply to women alone, same law applies to men. The good guys often end up with bad girls and vice versa. It is what it is.

I disagree

If you marry a bad boy/girl, it shows deep down, you are like them.

Besides, some people's upbringing influence their choices.

Shymm3x:


Lmao...Pastor Offering. A lot of decent black chics are always hiding in Church - time to start sniping them out.

Anyway, why didn't you reply the other post about how you can't handle long term relationships? I'm trying to help you out on how to deal with it mentally cos I used to be like that. It's more of a mental thing and once you can overcome the mental aspect of it, you'd be alright. You just have experiment with some guy from around the way you can connect with...and grow subconsciously with it - till you can be comfortable in that space.

Ah well I am trying. There is this old college friend thou that I feel we have a lot in common and I can probably have a ltr with easily but he is like the male version of me . Lol

Maybe someday. Trying to make few friends and do more outdoor stuffs lately. Maybe I will take a cooking or pot making class my social circle is too small.

bukatyne:


I agree with Sheryl for those interested in multiple dating

I think it is both ways... guys might like a figure 8, good head giver and fabulous kisser however, when it comes to marriage, I doubt those values matter or are primary.

Interesting.

I maintain that any man who does not consider his wife's sexual availability and desirability as a primary factor is being dishonest with himself. It is not the only factor but it is one of the important ones.

ApexTitan:


Interesting.

I maintain that any man who does not consider his wife's sexual availability and desirability as a primary factor is being dishonest with himself. It is not the only factor but it is one of the important ones.

Sexual availability and desirability is different from being wayward/loose.

That a man likes big boobs doesn't mean he will marry Cossy. He will most likely marry a 'decent/nice' girl with big boobs.

Also that a woman is a sex symbol doesn't mean she is not a cold potato. Don't be surprised Iya Silifa is way better in bed than Genevieve

bukatyne:


I agree with Sheryl for those interested in multiple dating

I think it is both ways... guys might like a figure 8, good head giver and fabulous kisser however, when it comes to marriage, I doubt those values matter or are primary.

Except, the good guys they want to settle for might just have no use for them any longer. If more guys were smarter, women would be on the losing side in this situation.

Except guys save their best for marriage, while women spend their best riding the penile banquet.

Missy89:

Ah well I am trying. There is this old college friend thou that I feel we have a lot in common and I can probably have a ltr with easily but he is like the male version of me . Lol

Maybe someday. Trying to make few friends and do more outdoor stuffs lately. Maybe I will take a cooking or pot making class my social circle is too small.

Yes, you need to go for that one cos it'll be easier for you lot to connect since you've got the same mentality. Shyte, you can ask him out, if ol'boy is too shy. Communication/understanding would also be easier since he'll understand where you're coming from - even when you don't lay everything bare.

Personally, at this stage of my life, whatever relationship I decide to get into would be with someone that's basically the same as me. Someone who's into what I'm into; has the same outlook; can relate to my background and experience; and someone I can be comfortable around and do whatever I want to do without feeling any type of way about it. I can't get jiggy with trying to fit into a box, to please the next person.

Just leave ya social circle the way it's - most of the folks running around out there these days are just looking for folks to exploit. You can interact with folks - but always keep a close/trusted circle.

Darn! I know I'm late but I have been listening to this tune everyday since the beginning of summer. My doozy brought me in - and this tune is the shiznit, I tell ya. Davido is a legend for this!!

Girl, ya behind is a killer................


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFDu6ACKLKo

bukatyne:


Sexual availability and desirability is different from being wayward/loose.

Hmmm, did you mean wayward/loose when you said

bukatyne:

guys might like a figure 8, good head giver and fabulous kisser however, when it comes to marriage, I doubt those values matter or are primary.

Because that's what I was responding to.

Usually I find that it is people (mostly women) who do not measure up to the perceived archetypes of physical attraction that downplay the importance of sexuality. Not saying you do o, but any man true to himself will admit that those specific attributes he finds attractive in women as a whole is what he wants in his wife.

PS: who is Iya Silifa?

Shymm3x:


Yes, you need to go for that one cos it'll be easier for you lot to connect since you've got the same mentality. Shyte, you can ask him out, if ol'boy is too shy. Communication/understanding would also be easier since he'll understand where you're coming from - even when you don't lay everything bare.

Personally, at this stage of my life, whatever relationship I decide to get into would be with someone that's basically the same as me. Someone who's into what I'm into; has the same outlook; can relate to my background and experience; and someone I can be comfortable around and do whatever I want to do without feeling any type of way about it. I can't get jiggy with trying to fit into a box, to please the next person.

Just leave ya social circle the way it's - most of the folks running around out there these days are just looking for folks to exploit. You can interact with folks - but always keep a close/trusted circle.

Why is it difficult for some guys to ask a girl out thou?.
It is pretty easy and if she says no,just move on!

ApexTitan:


Hmmm, did you mean wayward/loose when you said


Because that's what I was responding to.

Usually I find that it is people (mostly women) who do not measure up to the perceived archetypes of physical attraction that downplay the importance of sexuality. Not saying you do o, but any man true to himself will admit that those specific attributes he finds attractive in women as a whole is what he wants in his wife.

PS: who is Iya Silifa?

Lol!

Are you married?

You remind me of a bachelor I know

Except a man discusses with his girl's ex, there is no way to know her prowess or lack of in bed.

The ones he can easily find out about, he is not looking at long term commitment with them.

When it is time for you to pick a wife, your priorities change.

Like the popular saying 'connection/intelligence might take you there but character will keep you there';

Beauty/sexuality might get you noticed however character will keep you there.

Iya Silifa was used to depict an uneducated trader.

bukatyne:


Lol!

Are you married?

You remind me of a bachelor I know

Except a man discusses with his girl's ex, there is no way to know her prowess or lack of in bed.

The ones he can easily find out about, he is not looking at long term commitment with them.

When it is time for you to pick a wife, your priorities change.

Please can you explain these? I find it interesting but can't quite tell qhy yet.

Timbuktou:


That's exactly the point. They know they can't control the alpha guy, and women want a man they can control or, at least, predict. Look at the thread on the guy who went undercover at Ashley Madison, his experiences are nothing new, just a confirmation of that which is already known.

And the ones that creep the most are these alpha females and feminist types, that "get bored easily". We know them and their tactics. They might want to deny the fact, but we go just look and laugh.

@bolded, so true...
Most women settle for nice guys because of the advantage they will get, not really for the attraction thing...

bukatyne:


Lol!

Are you married?

You remind me of a bachelor I know

Except a man discusses with his girl's ex, there is no way to know her prowess or lack of in bed.

The ones he can easily find out about, he is not looking at long term commitment with them.

When it is time for you to pick a wife, your priorities change.

Like the popular saying 'connection/intelligence might take you there but character will keep you there';

Beauty/sexuality might get you noticed however character will keep you there.

Iya Silifa was used to depict an uneducated trader.

No need for proverbs.

I'm waiting for the day for you ladies to prove me wrong but I know that I'd be long gone before then. Why is it that women, married and single, are usually at the frontline of the group that downplays the importance of sexuality in relationship matters? Eh?

It's also these women who will quickly echo the canard that age is just a number or that it's only whats on the inside that should matter.

Here is the hard truth: In all the lofty ideals and qualities that men require in a mate her sexuality plays a very important part. By this I mean the woman's ability to arouse or excite him on a physical level with her body, presence and behaviour, I'm not referring to sexual prowress, waywardness or the likes which you somehow are conflating here.

Her body, appearance, looks - her sexual desirability is critical.

Any other talk that asserts otherwise is coming from a place of dishonesty or deception because it is without question that men are, amongst other things, visually driven creatures.

I suspect that women try to deny if not downplay this fact when they don't measure up or are facing the decline of this particular agency in themselves.

ApexTitan:




No need for proverbs.

I'm waiting for the day for you ladies to prove me wrong but I know that I'd be long gone before then. Why is it that women, married and single, are usually at the frontline of the group that downplays the importance of sexuality in relationship matters? Eh?

It's also these women who will quickly echo the canard that age is just a number or that it's only whats on the inside that should matter.

Here is the hard truth: In all the lofty ideals and qualities that men require in a mate her sexuality plays a very important part. By this I mean the woman's ability to arouse or excite him on a physical level with her body, presence and behaviour, I'm not referring to sexual prowress, waywardness or the likes which you somehow are conflating here.

Her body, appearance, looks - her sexual desirability is critical.

Any other talk that asserts otherwise is coming from a place of dishonesty or deception because it is without question that men are, amongst other things, visually driven creatures.

I suspect that women try to deny if not downplay this fact when they don't measure up or are facing the decline of this particular agency in themselves.

Err mm excuse you, quit with the generalisation, any woman that doesn't know and admit the above is either naive, timid or lying.

This is not a matter of being born again or whatever.

But this is also important to women na.

freecocoa:
Err mm excuse you, quit with the generalisation, any woman that doesn't know and admit the above is either naive, timid or lying.

This is not a matter of being born again or whatever.

But this is also important to women na.

Okay I don't even understand your point here.