Everyday we read about cases of accidents, murders, child molestation, rape, cheating in marriages, ritual killings, wife/husband battery and many gruesome happenstance in one place or the other and I began wondering what may really be wrong with our society.

Are we still humans? Are we still Intelligent creature or has computer intelligence really made us like cockroaches as predicted by Marshal Brian(read more at www.marshallbrain.com)?? What could really be the reason behind the prevalence of all forms of social ills in our societies? Can humanity still survive another century? Are we about to witness the collapse of this beautiful civilization we have created for ourselves?

I look at my life and the lives of young men around me and i found that as young men, we have not really taken time to improve ourselves to the point where the happiness and lives of a woman/women and her children/their children can become our responsibilities. I also find that the same can be said of most of the women- in this case i mean the female gender- that i know both in real life and online.
Could ill-prepared men marrying ill-prepared women be the reason behind all the grisly things that are happening in our today's society? If so how do we begin to fix things as young Nigerians? And if not, what do you think are the reasons behind our society's 'doom-boundedness'?

Disclaimer: I am not promoting Marshal Brian. I have no Affiliation with his work and as a computer enthusiast, I actually believe the opposite but he advocates that computers will make humankind as irrelevant as cockroaches in the near future and that is relevant to this topic.

Nice thread.

christinie:
Nice thread.

any contributions christine?

What do you think is the reason behind all these?

DMLords:


any contributions christine?

What do you think is the reason behind all these?

as a criminal prosecutor, I am aware that most crimes are committed due to people's inordinate ambition, lack of self control/fear of God and unhealthy competition among families/friends and associates, incessant bailing of criminals by the Police and the judges even when such offences are not bailable etc.
There is decay in family morals. Most families are dysfunctional. You see fathers raping their children claiming that they are lonely because their wives are not there.
The Government have to put in more measures to stop these offences.

christinie:
as a criminal prosecutor, I am aware that most crimes are committed due to people's inordinate ambition, lack of self Fear of God and self control, unhealthy competition among families/friends and associates, incessant bailing of criminals by the Police and the judges even when such offences are not bailable etc.
There is decay in family morals. Most families are dysfunctional. You see fathers raping their children claiming that they are lonely because their wives are not there.
The Government have to put in more measures to stop these offenses.

You have made some serious points here christine. I agree with the inordinate ambition being a reason for some of the unexplainable crimes that we witness these days. Don't you think that there is something you and I and every other person reading this thread can do to curtail this trend?? Or is it solely something that that government have to do?

Am only going to contribute when you edit your post as a general problem,not blaming or painting one gender as the sole problem or major culprits..doing these won't solve anything

okkk jack Bauer. .goodluck

on a lighter note, these societal ills can only be solved if society as a whole shun hypocrisy and' not my business' attitudes

making a specific rule for a particular gender, and that same rule becomes no rule when it's about another gender. .. infidelity in marriages will be minimal if this society criticizes men as much as they do women.
rape will be minimal if the culprits are not supported or even pitied, thereby placing the blames on the victims(especially when they are not under aged).. not to mention the stigma
domestic violence can also be controlled,if we stop putting the blame on one partner and stop the preaching that a wife(mostly) is at fault...or even worse, advice such people to remain in the hell they call marriage, thereby giving the culprit a go ahead. .

all these societal vices are caused by the society itself giving women a different face in a situation while giving the men another face in that same situation. .
lets stop the hypocrisy !!

Make I plan myself finish.

If you want me to plan the state, make me governor or President.

kevinberry:
Am only going to contribute when you edit your post as a general problem,not blaming or painting one gender as the sole problem or major culprits..doing these won't solve anything

I am not painting any gender in the wrong light here. i stated clearly in the original post that I have not fully prepared myself to be responsible for a woman's hapiness and for the hapiness and comfort of her kids. I then made the same statemnet of some ladies I know. Please re-read the original post and make your contributions. We would love to hear what you think..

Thanks

400billionman:
Make I plan myself finish.

If you want me to plan the state, make me governor or President.

This is the same question I asked christine earlier: "is it really a government problem? Can't we as individuals begin in our little ponds to make a difference.

By the way, by answering this question, you are planning yourself. Just ask yourself this "How can i contribute to reduce the craze i see around me and on forums these days?" Do you see the answer playing out??

Now Voice it for us to benefit from your uniqueness!

quivah:
okkk jack Bauer. .goodluck

on a lighter note, these societal ills can only be solved if society as a whole shun hypocrisy and' not my business' attitudes

making a specific rule for a particular gender, and that same rule becomes no rule when it's about another gender. .. infidelity in marriages will be minimal if this society criticizes men as much as they do women.
rape will be minimal if the culprits are not supported or even pitied, thereby placing the blames on the victims(especially when they are not under aged).. not to mention the stigma
domestic violence can also be controlled,if we stop putting the blame on one partner and stop the preaching that a wife(mostly) is at fault...or even worse, advice such people to remain in the hell they call marriage, thereby giving the culprit a go ahead. .

all these societal vices are caused by the society itself giving women a different face in a situation while giving the men another face in that same situation. .
lets stop the hypocrisy !!

Wow Jack Bauer?? I am blushing!
Thanks for your contributions. Anyways, Ill need you to iron these issues out:
i) infidelity in marriages will be minimal if this society criticizes men as much as they do women.
These days Men and Women are 'equally' unfaithful in marriages. I put the word equally in quote because this is not a fact but an observation. i think i have seen as much unfaithful wives as there are unfaithful husbands out there. How does your above postulate 'sits' in that situation?

ii) domestic violence can also be controlled,if we ... ...stop the preaching that a wife(mostly) is at fault...or even worse, advice such people to remain in the hell they call marriage

Do you advocate more divorce(broken homes) as a solution to domestic violence??
I once read that male children from broken homes are more likely to perpetrate violence against their mates

Hoping to see you come back to clear the air....Thanks

DMLords:


This is the same question I asked christine earlier: "is it really a government problem? Can't we as individuals begin in our little ponds to make a difference.

By the way, by answering this question, you are planning yourself. Just ask yourself this "How can i contribute to reduce the craze i see around me and on forums these days?" Do you see the answer playing out??

Now Voice it for us to benefit from your uniqueness!

The average Nigerian is wicked, has sold his soul to the devil, wants to see his neighbors children go hungry, wants to see his neighbor die, wants evil to happen to his neighbor, infact Bro, I have become very careful in helping people. Yeah, the very people you help today, are ready to kill you tomorrow. So much drama and double standard. It's like they are demon remote controlled. Yet churches are springing up everyday. It's an average of 3 churches per street in most places. So much gossip. When they see someone doing better than them, they use weapon of gossip to bring people's perception of him to their miserable level.

I can't understand why people want to pull others down to feel good about themselves. Talk about our politicians. Eating alone to die alone. That's another story.

People actually do not surrender themselves to God. They only pay lip service to religion. They lack self control. They lack fulfillment. They are full of confusion and lack inner satisfaction. So they strive to destroy anyone who possesses inner peace and fullfillment. I ask people to seek God genuinely.

Any man who does not achieve inner satisfaction on earth lives in regret in death. Only God can plan a man's life. I remember sometime in the past, I was a confused person. One thing confusion does to a man is that it makes him envious and jealous of people who are organized. So I prayed, father Grant me wisdom. Now there is hardly any issue I cannot resolve in minutes. God answered exceedingly well. This is not what government will achieve using punitive laws. It is a personal thing. Personal confusion leads to rape, killing ones neighbor, maltreating a house help, gossipping about others. Evil is like a seed. Before a man kills his neighbor, it was planned, it didn't start the very day it happened. It requires an evil seed and an evil mind to germinate to reality.

What I am saying is for discerning minds.

DMLords:


Wow Jack Bauer?? I am blushing!
Thanks for your contributions. Anyways, Ill need you to iron these issues out:
i) infidelity in marriages will be minimal if this society criticizes men as much as they do women.
These days Men and Women are 'equally' unfaithful in marriages. I put the word equally in quote because this is not a fact but an observation. i think i have seen as much unfaithful wives as there are unfaithful husbands out there. How does your above postulate 'sits' in that situation?

ii) domestic violence can also be controlled,if we ... ...stop the preaching that a wife(mostly) is at fault...or even worse, advice such people to remain in the hell they call marriage

Do you advocate more divorce(broken homes) as a solution to domestic violence??
I once read that male children from broken homes are more likely to perpetrate violence against their mates

Hoping to see you come back to clear the air....Thanks

1. like I said, if both are condemned equally, infidelity will be on the low.. the men do it to the face of their helpless wives and society while women hide behind doors to do it...no woman can openly declare she's cheating,people will frown at her and the repercussions are unbearable mostly ... but men? lil or no condemnation and hence feel it's their birthright. .
11.. do you advocate more deaths or unhappiness as a solution to domestic violence?
temporary separation should come first,after which I support divorce if there'r no changes afterwards.
but staying put in such homes with the hopes of change is suicidal!
so,reports has it that sons from violent homes tend to be more violent because they actually follow the footsteps of the violent parent ,and even worse if the victim acts cool or helpless, they feel that's just right.. females from such homes grow to be helpless if they find themselves with violent husbands as they'v seen how their mums were and hence feels that's just right..

with this, domestic violence grows deeper. .
children from violent homes are more likely to perpetuate violence IMHO
while children from broken homes are more likely to be afraid of commitments

what do you hope to achieve with this btw?

400billionman:


The average Nigerian is wicked, has sold his soul to the devil, wants to see his neighbors children go hungry, wants to see his neighbor die, wants evil to happen to his neighbor, infact Bro, I have become very careful in helping people. Yeah, the very people you help today, are ready to kill you tomorrow. So much drama and double standard. It's like they are demon remote controlled. Yet churches are springing up everyday. It's an average of 3 churches per street in most places. So much gossip. When they see someone doing better than them, they use weapon of gossip to bring people's perception of him to their miserable level.

I can't understand why people want to pull others down to feel good about themselves. Talk about our politicians. Eating alone to die alone. That's another story.

People actually do not surrender themselves to God. They only pay lip service to religion. They lack self control. They lack fulfillment. They are full of confusion and lack inner satisfaction. So they strive to destroy anyone who possesses inner peace and fullfillment. I ask people to seek God genuinely.

Any man who does not achieve inner satisfaction on earth lives in regret in death. Only God can plan a man's life. I remember sometime in the past, I was a confused person. One thing confusion does to a man is that it makes him envious and jealous of people who are organized. So I prayed, father Grant me wisdom. Now there is hardly any issue I cannot resolve in minutes. God answered exceedingly well. This is not what government will achieve using punitive laws. It is a personal thing. Personal confusion leads to rape, killing ones neighbor, maltreating a house help, gossipping about others. Evil is like a seed. Before a man kills his neighbor, it was planned, it didn't start the very day it happened. It requires an evil seed and an evil mind to germinate to reality.

What I am saying is for discerning minds.

@400billionman, you nailed it. I guess your moniker speaks of your wisdom. Bro, your write up is so concise that it took me 8 hours to digest. Now check this out: the average Nigerian is wicked? I think the average man is wicked because these things are inceasingly happening everywhere. Remember the bus gang rape in India? Pedophile porn in America? etc.

I agree though that people do not surrender themselves to God but rather go babbling in places of worship. What you wrote is really for the discerning mind and I am WOW. You should start thinking of a personal development book from that perspective. it will be dope!

My take home from this is:"We can only improve the situation of things around us by being the best we can be morally and emotionally and then teach others how to do same". I am right?

quivah:

1. like I said, if both are condemned equally, infidelity will be on the low.. the men do it to the face of their helpless wives and society while women hide behind doors to do it...no woman can openly declare she's cheating,people will frown at her and the repercussions are unbearable mostly ... but men? lil or no condemnation and hence feel it's their birthright. .
11.. do you advocate more deaths or unhappiness as a solution to domestic violence?
temporary separation should come first,after which I support divorce if there'r no changes afterwards.
but staying put in such homes with the hopes of change is suicidal!
so,reports has it that sons from violent homes tend to be more violent because they actually follow the footsteps of the violent parent ,and even worse if the victim acts cool or helpless, they feel that's just right.. females from such homes grow to be helpless if they find themselves with violent husbands as they'v seen how their mums were and hence feels that's just right..

with this, domestic violence grows deeper. .
children from violent homes are more likely to perpetuate violence IMHO
while children from broken homes are more likely to be afraid of commitments

quivah, I believe there is something deeper than what I am currently able to comprehend in your posts but I have not been able to make it out. It is true that Men are unfaithful, very unfaithful if i may say, and condemning them would make promiscuity seem uncool but not too long ago- i am talking about a century back- men were more discrete and sensitive in matters of extra-marital relationships. Some books I read actually hinted on how a man seeks permission from his wife to marry a second woman and they normally co-exist hapilly ever-after. Today however men dont see women as people whose feelings they should worry about and that worries me.

Nooooo! I do not advocate deaths, unhappiness as solutions but I really don't think more divorce is desirable at this stage because i have seen the ills of divorce second-hand.

Please read the reply to your second question below!

Where there is poverty, there will be violence and crime.

quivah:
what do you hope to achieve with this btw?

Quivah, Thank you very much for this question. I believe that I should have started with this before proceeding.

1) This thread intends to bring together a committee of introspective and/or concerned minds that have noticed how our society is quickly spiraling its doom and have a concern for that.

2) The thread intends to discuss and agree upon social issues and suggest solutions to them.

3) The thread intends to prompt its contributing members to be involved in translating the suggested solutions to actions as individuals and as a collaborative group and report on the thread.

The thread will through (3) :
i) Seek justice for oppressed and abused persons
ii) Encourage community participation in the rehabilitation of victims of rape and people disfigured through battery in marriage
iii) fight stigmatization and victimization of women and men around the societies in which it operates
iv) Actively participate re-engineering the minds of teenagers and youth that are prone to be violent/abusive
v) Promote the respect of marriage institution
vi) Teaching young men and women self-discovery and self-acceptance and self-improvement
as these are keys to mutual respect in any relationship

4) Involve in advocacy visits and fund raising to actualize the goals stated above.

I know these look magnanimous but you can summarize thus: " to begin a conversation about the increase of social ills and to initiate a system through which individuals can contribute to the reduction, and possibly elimination, of these social ills in their local communities"

Please let me know what you think!

N.B:
For the capitalistic mind: please note that several businesses can be built around these issues and this thread can give you a foot if it can beegin to gain traction and add value to people's lives!

Mindfulness:
Where there is poverty, there will be violence and crime.

True bro... that is why I did not add 'armed-robbery' and the likes. There are countries like New Zealand that are very poor and the poverty of their citizens is in multiples of that of the average Nigerians yet they have less of these evils than we do.

Is it poverty that makes a 40 year old man to stick his daaiacaakaa(just remove the As) into a 9 year old? If one is poor and hungry, where does he get the strength to rape a woman? Ain't there poor and hungry girls out there with boiling hormones ready to be toasted? Why should a particular girl blame poverty for pushing her into prostitution when there are 'broker' girls out there that are not prostitutes? If she had no other options then, why hasn't she left the job now since she has earned #300k monthly for the past five years?

Why should a man keep numerous girlfriends when he is poor and he has a wife that will readily let him 'stick it' anywhere? I know it gets boring but there are ways to spice it up and everyday, more sexual boundaries are being broke.

We can keep blaminig poverty for making us monsters. Somethings got to give bro

Get my vibe?

DMLords:


True bro... that is why I did not add 'armed-robbery' and the likes. There are countries like New Zealand that are very poor and the poverty of their citizens is in multiples of that of the average Nigerians yet they have less of these evils than we do.

I think you are wrong. New Zealand is not a poor country and definitely not poorer than Nigeria.

Is it poverty that makes a 40 year old man to stick his daaiacaakaa(just remove the As) into a 9 year old? If one is poor and hungry, where does he get the strength to rape a woman? Ain't there poor and hungry girls out there with boiling hormones ready to be toasted? Why should a particular girl blame poverty for pushing her into prostitution when there are 'broker' girls out there that are not prostitutes? If she had no other options then, why hasn't she left the job now since she has earned #300k monthly for the past five years?

Well, I am not an expert on pedophilia but I am sure that poverty is not the reason why adults feel attracted to children. Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder. The causes are not yet known.

Prostitution is a different topic altogether and I wouldn't put it on the same level with pedophilia.

Why should a man keep numerous girlfriends when he is poor and he has a wife that will readily let him 'stick it' anywhere? I know it gets boring but there are ways to spice it up and everyday, more sexual boundaries are being broke.

Men keep numerous girlfriends and marry multiple wives for different reasons.
Historically speaking it served an important and useful purpose. When a great number of men used to die in wars in the past, polygamy was a solution to the shortage of men.

We can keep blaminig poverty for making us monsters. Somethings got to give bro

Get my vibe?

I agree with you but when you go and live abroad in a civilized and developed country and when you stay open-minded and mingle with people who were born in such a country, you will not help but notice that these people have better developed moral values such as for example honesty. The average Nigerian (I am generalizing, pardon me.) is dishonest.

The question why it is so is a very interesting one.

The reasons are:

- poverty

- lack of (proper) education

- lack of proper home training

- cultural norms and values or the lack of proper ones (Nigerians love to show off and take pride in what they have instead of what or who they are.)


Bottom line is that poverty is not the only reason why Nigerians tend to lack integrity more than some other nationalities but it definitely is one of the reasons.

Morality is a luxury.