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She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by Nobody: 10:12am On Aug 31, 2015
cyprus000:
[size=13pt]
Guy.

I want to advice you has a fellow man and a human,who studied human behaviour at school.

I am talking In respect of my field of education and experience.


If you don't won't som1 you love to make certain decision that you think may harm them.

Never put your all your weight on that matter,cos nature is a bittch and may prove your suspicion and assertion wrong.

Then you will be termed "enemy of progress" and that person will forever see you has the cause of his/her problem.

All that lady needs is knowing Good and bad in this situation.

Which you have already outlined in your article. Leave it at that and don't try to force her to do anything

Let her make her decision,cos if you indirectly make decision for her. When e banter.

You will have to dance to the beat of blame and hate.

Cos she will definately hate you for it,considering the fact the that you were sopos to be in that guy's shoe,but you aren't .

[/size]

Gbam!!! U deserve some chilled kegs of palmwine

3 Likes

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by Nobody: 10:14am On Aug 31, 2015
cyprus000:

[size=13pt]
Lol..grin very funny _idiot. This just proved my assertion about your daftness...*spits*

If you aren't an ineffable corpulent microphallus and a cesspool of sub human filth.
You would be able to deduce when a person type in abbreviation
. But being a pyscho/sapiopath you are. All your brain could sum up is shitt.

for the fact that an infinitesimal vapid scum lyk u, is allowed to roam and even have access to cyber space, means that we don't have "animal control" system in this country or dey are not competent for the job.

[b]Wat a brainscooped lummox.



**pity your existance**

[/b][/size]
*faints*
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by Nobody: 10:15am On Aug 31, 2015
Guy, she is a traitor... have u considered the fact that emotionally, she is already cheating on u?

Throw her out the back door and let her roam...

1 Like

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by Nobody: 10:16am On Aug 31, 2015
It is not your duty to help others make a decision. Life is full of mistakes and mistakes are natural step stones. Stop ruining things for another guy. Get a pet project and be busy. Stop disturbing the girl.
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by BuddhaPalm(m): 10:16am On Aug 31, 2015
My brother...

Women, once that drummer begin drum for them, even Pope, Imam or Okija shrine no fit change their mind.

This guy is not a 'bad decision'. He is her decision. And she made it CLEARLY with her emotional korokoro eyes wide open.

This story is just an old rehashed plot. Every person will tell you a version he or she has seen on experienced.

For my very close friend, it was some dude from Spain who destroyed his relationship.

They really were just the sweetest couple.

And my very own sister, some S.A based dude swooped in and married her, before you could say "kwarraption".

Naturally her very loving boyfriend was very fvcking distraught.

That's women for you.

They don't really truly 'send' you, in the way that you are capable of 'sending' them.

If you like, write her an encyclopedia, she wouldn't heed a word.

Just move on with your life.

Equally, tomorrow, it will be you making some other poor guy's life miserable, by magneting his beloved girlfriend.

Well, if that's not the 'circle' of life.

Namatse.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by Nobody: 10:19am On Aug 31, 2015
@ st judas
Your objectivity of the whole issue is obviously not going to be trusted. Its just an introduction. To my own understanding, after introduction is when the real courting begins. It is not marriage.If you are not planning to marry her, leave her to explore her options. And if you truly love her, let her know you dont want her to leave you and that you really want to see where your relationship is heading. Telling her not to commit to the guy because he might be shady will not help. Yeah, she is in year 3 but then, we dnt know her age. Atleast she knows what she wants unlike some agbaya over 20 women still posting unclad pictures and videos online

1 Like

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by 2sex(m): 10:22am On Aug 31, 2015
Jhenny:
she is just in her 3rd yr and she is hell bent on getting married this yr?.. Anyway,its her priority. If she wont listen to you,leave her alone. I'm very sure she wont listen anyway. Do all u can to convince her to be patient but if she is still hell bent on marrying d guy then let her be.
She is one of those who think marriage is a ticket out of poverty, a liability and parasite. I can never marry any woman with such mindset.

1 Like

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by cyprus000: 10:22am On Aug 31, 2015
ogorkojo:

Guy pity am o.
[size=13pt]


I no do am anything na!. Me and am just dey discourse.smiley
[/size]

1 Like

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by freeage7(m): 10:22am On Aug 31, 2015
You are really paranoid. He is ready, you are not. Make I beg you, I beg no take your raggae spoil the girl blues oh. The lord is your strength as you let her go oh.

3 Likes

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by bigiyaro(m): 10:23am On Aug 31, 2015
op, dey is notin u can do, just get over her n move on.
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by remmydada(m): 10:23am On Aug 31, 2015
My guy just let the girl go for what she want may be the bad side that you are seeing in the other guy maybe that is what the girl like in him you've already given her ur own piece of advice let her either take it or leave it
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by teeghurl(f): 10:23am On Aug 31, 2015
cyprus000:

[size=13pt]
Lol..grin very funny _idiot. This just proved my assertion about your daftness...*spits*

If you aren't an ineffable corpulent microphallus and a cesspool of sub human filth.
You would be able to deduce when a person type in abbreviation
. But being a pyscho/sapiopath you are. All your brain could sum up is shitt.

for the fact that an infinitesimal vapid scum lyk u, is allowed to roam and even have access to cyber space, means that we don't have "animal control" system in this country or dey are not competent for the job.

Wat a brainscooped lummox.


**pity your existance**

[/size]
Na who vex Prof Obahiagbon ds early momo, chai prof i'm sorry on his behalf grin
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by Nobody: 10:23am On Aug 31, 2015
I understand how you feel bro, when you love your friend(s) and want the best for them like you do for yourself but they refuse to heed your advice because they are blinded by emotions and the eagerness to get married and so, they can't see the danger signs you are seeing...

my advice is that you pray for her and encourage her not to be desperate about marriage, she is still young, meanwhile, don't act as if you' re her dad when talking to her, talk like her friend. If after the two, she continue with him, leave her to follow her mind, you have done your part and what a friend should do, its her life, you can not live it for her or control how she live it.
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by preciousMI1(f): 10:29am On Aug 31, 2015
stjudas:
I just called her again and she's still crying. She said there are a lot of things she has to tell me but it will be tomorrow. "Why not now?" I asked. She said she doesn't want to cry the more that I should just hang up until she sorts herself out.

I just hope I've not influenced her in anyway.


if you would like to know why this babe is crying by tomorrow hit LIKE.....

bros please remember to tell us why she's crying tomorrow... we are following the story closely


lalasticalala.... please push it to the front page tomorrow

8 Likes

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by QueenFusa16(f): 10:29am On Aug 31, 2015
God is in control
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by Nobody: 10:32am On Aug 31, 2015
cyprus000:
[size=13pt]

I no do am anything na!. Me and am just dey discourse.smiley
[/size]
Person fit cry for dis discussion o
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by Nobody: 10:32am On Aug 31, 2015
cyprus000:
[size=13pt]

I no do am anything na!. Me and am just dey discourse.smiley
[/size]
Person fit cry for dis discussion o
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by DrGroove(f): 10:32am On Aug 31, 2015
@Op..thanks for your advice on behalf of the girl

Pls allow her get married,ok? even if she chooses to marry a demon,its her business
u are a corp member n not ready for marriage
I think your grievance is cos you wan continue to phuck her in the name of relationship
Abeg shift!
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by braine(m): 10:33am On Aug 31, 2015
cyprus000:
[size=13pt]
Guy.

I want to advice you has a fellow man and a human,who studied human behaviour at school.

I am talking In respect of my field of education and experience.


If you don't won't som1 you love to make certain decision that you think may harm them.

Never put your all your weight on that matter,cos nature is a bittch and may prove your suspicion and assertion wrong.

Then you will be termed "enemy of progress" and that person will forever see you has the cause of his/her problem.

All that lady needs is knowing Good and bad in this situation.

Which you have already outlined in your article. Leave it at that and don't try to force her to do anything

Let her make her decision,cos if you indirectly make decision for her. When e banter.

You will have to dance to the beat of blame and hate.

Cos she will definately hate you for it,considering the fact that you were sopos to be in that guy's shoe,but you aren't .

[/size]




Your post would have made sense if not for your crappy font. embarassed
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by dammytosh: 10:34am On Aug 31, 2015
stjudas:


Thank you for the advice...I dont want to get involved in the decision making but I still want her to make the right decision. Na why I bring my matta here.

Leave her alone and train your heart to move on.

For a 300Level girl you have introduction plan for later this year to be in a hurry.

She might be tired and not ready for you guys to grow the coins to dollars together. She wants something ready made.

STop hurting yourself, TRAIN THAT HEART to move on.

Now that they are back together, they will be sleeping with themselves till December Deadline you gave her.

Grow up Man !!! Build your confidence and get busy.
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by DedeNkem: 10:35am On Aug 31, 2015
stjudas:
Good day people. I am a Corps member of 2015 batch A. I have a girlfriend in her third year in school. Sincerely, I love her but she's hell bent on getting married. I am far from ready and there is this guy she dated few years back for few months before he traveled to India. This guy is really disturbing my girl, promising to marry her as soon as he returns to Nigeria next month. In fact, Dec. 30 has been scheduled for Introduction. Now my problem isn't her leaving me, but for the wrong person. I suspect he's a very bad guy and would make her cry. I tried convincing her to wait for better man even if it wasn't going to be me that all I cared about was her happiness. So, fellow Nairalanders how do I convince her and what way is best to go about this? Below is a message I sent her on Facebook and all she replied was "thank you," and soon she called me and started crying. I inquired why she was crying but she said she doesn't know and hung up. Pls, no insults. Don't tell me I should be thinking of how to get a job or start a small business 'cause it's all in my plans. Your contributions will be appreciated. Thanks.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
JUST BEFORE DECEMBER 30.

Bury this little piece in your heart, I took my time to write it for you. It's no cynicism so don't get it twisted. Marriage is a lifetime commitment; once you're in, you're in. Don't ignore the warning signals, it could be very fatal.

1. COURT HIM AGAIN: Don't assume he's the cool guy you use to know. Try courting him for 8 to 12 months before you tie the knot. Remember, he's been outside the country, gathered a handful of experiences and the resultant of this experiences will greatly determine his new personality, either for better or for worse. Ignoring or failing to take this one step is worst of all things you would ever do.

2. BE SURE OF WHAT HE DOES:
Go beyond your emotions and look with your mind's eyes. Can you trust what he tells you he does for a living? Have you sought an answer to these questions: How does he send his goods to Nigeria? Who receives the bales of clothes he sends in and who sells them and how does he get his money back? Through PayPal, Western Money Union Transfer or what? Investigate to be sure it's true.
When he's not sending clothes to Nigeria what does he do? Does he have a part-time job or own a business in India? If a part-time time job, what's the name of the company he works for and what position does he occupy. What are his job functions? If he owns a business, what kind.
Ask him how much he makes and see if it's in coherence with how much you think he's worth. Ask him these question and many more you can think of in quick succession, with that aura of intelligence of one who works with the FBI. Don't give him a chance to think! Just quickly throw the questions at him.
Observe if he's nervous or cool when giving answers. Compare all the information he provides with your previous knowledge of him and make your judgement. Trust your intuition!

3. PROMISES MAY NEVER BE FULFILLED:
Yes, he promised to make you Manager of his current business so he could move into importation of automobile spare parts. Be sure he will do this. Never you assume or just believe, it's not the Gospel after all. Compel him (though you do not have the right to) to start, maybe, a smaller business for you. If he cheerfully does, it could be an indicator that he will do bigger things. Do you still remember what the Bible says: He that is faithful in little is faithful in much.

4. DISCUSS THE MARGINS:
You are a woman, I believe, with dreams and goals. A savvy young girl poised for greatness, whose primary function as a wife is not to mop the floor, wash dishes, cook good foods and make babies. You've got a career life and a margin should be drawn between it and your marital life. I also believe you got goals to accomplish before you turn 30. Ask him how he intends to help you achieve those goals.

5. NEVER GIVE IN TO PRESSURE:
I understand the pressure by the African society on her girl child in getting married. It isn't your last chance, Baby. You are beautiful, intelligent and people tend to like you. You know this. I remember you once told me, "I no be bad market." Appreciate yourself and never take that step except you are sure you want to. The future holds a lot.

6. YOUR DAD, YOUR COUNSELOR:
I have not had the opportunity to meet with any of your parents, but somehow from what I have learned, dad is shrewder than mum (I'm not a diviner. It's just an opinion. I could be wrong). Discuss your man with him expressing the fears and confidence you have in him (your man), I'm sure he (dad) will have something very useful to tell you. Never ignore his advice.

7. AFTER THE WEDDING:
Don't get married to a ghost who will leave you for another woman in an unknown country for years in the guise of searching for endless business opportunities. I know of a victim, my mum’s best friend, then. She got married to a man, a US Naval Officer, in Owerri, in December 2001. The wedding was the talk of town as cash was lavished. The young man traveled back to the States early February 2002 promising her to come see her once in a while. The lady pleaded to go with him but he insisted that it won't be necessary as he plans to return home and start up a new life with her soon. He traveled back and that's all the lady and my mum saw of him. You think he could be dead? NO! He was seen shopping in Las Vegas in early 2013 by one of the friends of the lady who attended the wedding and had traveled to the city.

8. THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT:
I don't have anything much to say here. It is your life, your decision. Always be true to yourself and your findings about him. Remember to trust your judgement. Your decision is ultimate.

Consider the eight points critically before December 30. I wish you the best marriage can offer. I love you. Have a nice day.


It's not your duty or business to tell her who she should marry. You've indicated you don't want to marry her. Now she has someone who deemed her good enough to be his wife. And you want to ruin it.

You don't personally know this guy. She knows him far more than you do, so why should you advise her against the guy?
The whole thing looks as if you're jealous and finding it difficult to let her go.

If she thinks the guy is good for her, let her be and move on with your own life. It's time to let her go!

1 Like

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by 2sex(m): 10:35am On Aug 31, 2015
stjudas:


Thank you for the advice...I dont want to get involved in the decision making but I still want her to make the right decision. Na why I bring my matta here.
see let me tell you, you are madly in love with girl and all your epistle is laced with jealousy. You can't imagine someone taking her away from you and at the same time you do not have what it takes to give her what she want--marriage.

You may not want to accept this but I know what I am saying as I have once felt same. What that guy said is true. In the end she will see you as an obstacle UNTIL she has her finger burnt and then would want to come back crawling into your arms.

On a second thought, you should be glad because that girl doesn't have an independent mind. She sees marriage as green card out of poverty. Is that the kind of woman you want? A woman who can't think of selfless service. I don't know about you. But I CAN never marry such a woman.

My current girl friend has the mind of an independent woman. She is a go getter. And that's one thing that I would choose to marry her over any lady I have come across if the opportunity present itselve.

Just leave her.

1 Like

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by seanjy4konji: 10:35am On Aug 31, 2015
Brother let the girl go and go and find money weh make gal leave you before u destroy your liver with panadol for another person head ache...na she be the only girl weh deh town...

u r only scaared of loosing the girl and cash out u nor get...

Face front and go find money.time is going.

1 Like

Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by efficiencie(m): 10:40am On Aug 31, 2015
Marriage must never be rushed even if it is to a saint...but fools rush where angels dare to tread...

My bro, if you truly love her pray and intercede for her. She's young and foolish. Childishness still rules her soul and would lead her to punishment for "foolishness abounds in the heart of a child..." and for that "many stripes will decorate her back"

Pray for her and tell her to get the experiences of other married women (probably in her church) before saying "yes" to any saint or stranger...

She's still a kid...an overgrown kid that wants to play with the toys of adults...toys that have wrecked many, maimed thousands and caused a lot of regrets...
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by oluwafeolami(m): 10:41am On Aug 31, 2015
D bottom line is dat she loved d guy in some ways 4 her 2 accept his marriage proposal to d extent of choosing a date 4 d introduction if am nt mistaken.
I knw ow u feel buh jst let her b 4 nw nd if I may suggest let her b d 1 dat wants 2 hear 4rm u 4rm nw on. Dnt cal her 4 some time nd let her b her own judge. Thank me later.
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by helphelp: 10:42am On Aug 31, 2015
Abeg you don chop the babe before

Na kweshun I ask ooo
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by litetias(m): 10:45am On Aug 31, 2015
You can't change her mind.

She has to make her own mistakes and then live with the consequences.

That's the theme of life.











Very affordable 3 bedroom, 2 bedroom and self-contain apartments in conducive environs in Warri is available for rent.

Just 1 yr upfront payment (Instead of the 2 years most landlords collect).

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Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by uzo4real(m): 10:46am On Aug 31, 2015
Wats ur biz if she marries the wrong person? I believe u have nothing to loose....so free her oooo
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by jessBoitumelo: 10:47am On Aug 31, 2015
cyprus000:

[size=13pt]
Lol..grin very funny _idiot. This just proved my assertion about your daftness...*spits*

If you aren't an ineffable corpulent microphallus and a cesspool of sub human filth.
You would be able to deduce when a person type in abbreviation
. But being a pyscho/sapiopath you are. All your brain could sum up is shitt.

for the fact that an infinitesimal vapid scum lyk u, is allowed to roam and even have access to cyber space, means that we don't have "animal control" system in this country or dey are not competent for the job.

Wat a brainscooped lummox.


**pity your existance**

[/size]
Bros abeg eazy they say does it...you wan murder person? Eh joor please forgive him on my behalf. I'm still struggling to pronounce all those grammar how much more the scumbag.
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by ruggedtimi(m): 10:48am On Aug 31, 2015
u re jst doin bizzy body cool..
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by lumeneng22: 10:48am On Aug 31, 2015
The bad guy is smar enough to take your girl? too bad. Your girl is not wise enough to spot the different? pity. Guy leave her and move on with your broken heart, soon very soon you will get over it.
Re: She's getting married to the wrong person. Pls, advice. by fotadmowmend(m): 10:53am On Aug 31, 2015
It's either that you truly love her and do not want her to get hurt or that you are jealous. In either way, the question is : does she loves you ? Even if she does, girls usually feel insecure whatever their guy go for NYSC. However, the only thing you can do is to tell her you mind and let her decide while you watch. Even for the duo to reach a conclusion on an introduction date means a lot and you can more or less do nothing about it.
My candid advice for you is to just prepare my mind on how to move on.

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