So.....


This thread is borne out of my recent conversations with a senior friend who has been married for about 5years.
I have known him to be a very responsible family man and for the record he has been faithful to his wife.

I wish to digress a little.
Marriage is a handful; you understudy your partner continuously and you learn to live with them and allow love cover a lot of their inadequacies. Most times we make do with the basic preferred qualities with plans to groom the rest in the course of been married.

Also, we usually do not get a complete package in our partners. We get what God probably knows is most befitting for us. Now, we still do have our specks and high points of the qualities we need our partners to possess.

Oftentimes, these fundamental qualities make us stay through the tough moments of marriage. For this discussion, I will like to concentrate on what men consider to be the high points of their desired partner. Ranging from:

1. Character
2. Good looks
3. Ability to cook
4. Home management skills
5. Hardworking & means of livelihood
6. Bedroom ministry
7.........  to name a few

Now, from my observations most men in this part of the world tend towards no. 3 more than the rest. For this thread I will like us to concentrate on 3 & 4 benchmarking them against each other.

Before now I have had discussions with friends as to which of those qualities is key if you must choose one over the other. My two closest female friends are very scattered and disorganized, not for their attitude I won't have been close to them. One of them can cook for Africa but just check out the kitchen.... eeew!

For me I love domestic chores and a great deal of orderliness till the point I  was named Miss Prim & Proper. I cook because I am a woman and it is expedient. But over and again I love domestic chores.

In my opinion, HOME MANAGEMENT is the peak. Home management in this context includes cleaning the house regularly, orderly arrangement of items, efficient procurement of home supplies and the likes.

My reasons for choosing home management are:

- Not every one who visits your home will eat, so a woman may get away with poor cooking.

- How organized and neat your home is will be immediately noticeable by a guest.

- I believe that learning to cook is far much easier at adulthood than to learning to keep the home.

Now, back to my senior friend. He complained bitterly about how unkempt his house is even when his wife doesn't do  8-5 job though she has MSc. They have just 2children and he always did his best to make the house clean but they turn it scattered again. She doesn't know how to buy things for the house or even herself. He buys up to underwear for her. Although she cooks well.

He had spoken with her a lot of times concerning it but no improvements. Bear in mind that he is the only child and his mum leaves with them.

He said it was his last straw and made a video of the whole house to show their pastor for counseling. If no improvements then he will stop eating food from the dirty kitchen and be estranged from the house.

In this same scenario, I want to believe that if it happened that the wife had A1 in home management but poor culinary skills, a training with a catering institute for less than a year will savage the situation and she may end up being excellent at it. Meanwhile, I don't think there's a school where a woman would be thought how to clean ceiling fan or dust a foot mat.

In summary, to everyone who reads this especially guys and judging from what is obtainable in our society.... which do you consider as a lesser evil; A wife who can't cook very well or a wife who can't keep the home ??
These days the way to a man's heart is not only his stomach.

Let's discuss... gracias  

Its not possible for a man to marry a woman who can't cook or manage a home, unless he knew befor hand! Pls let's be realistic for once!


Befor I get married to a gurl, we must live togeda

A woman who fears the Lord will natural want her marriage to work and would do what it takes to acquire the necessary skills required to manage her home and fulfil other duties such as being able to cook to ( and beyond ) her spouses taste.etc

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and wisdom builds her house.

A woman who attended A Nigerian University and had 2 extra years

A woman who can't cook will most certainly now be able to manage a home. Running a successful kitchen is akin to running a successful home in most cases.
Managing a home is not about textbook knowledge but hands on.

A woman who attended A Nigerian University and had 2 extra years.

Am I surprised Nooooo!

Ladies of these days!




Tell your friend that it ain't enough reason to scatter his home.

He should keep correcting her and also learn to over-look some stuffs, if he likes long life.

A woman who don't know how to cook can easily be taught how to cook, it will only take time. But poor management skills is not only burn out of laziness but it is also a bad habit and will all know that habits are very difficult to live except by the grace of God.

POWEROFPEACE:
A woman who don't know how to cook can easily be taught how to cook, it will only take time. But poor management skills is not only burn out of laziness but it is also a bad habit and will all know that habits are very difficult to live except by the grace of God.

I appreciate your sincere contribution

I can buy food at Whitehouse..

Before I had my first baby, I was almost OCD clean. I always wanted everytin to be orderly,even while heavily pregnant. After my first child, I realized everytin doesn't hv to be perfect all the time cos my baby needed me MOST of d time. Besides that motherhood kind of adds to a laidback attitude.

That being said, I am not defending d lady but I want u to wait till u are married n also hv two kids before u judge or.before using urself as benchmark. I am telling u guys right nw, don't be so stern,help out if u can n.don't complain while at it.

TheRealAdonye:
I can buy food at Whitehouse..

For how long?


The two are very important. House should be organised atleast to a large extent and good food is essential as I wouldn't like my husband eating out... The two are very important for a healthy living. ...

While I was writing what was up there, I totally expected someone to respond as you have done.
First off, I wholly agree with you.

Now that's out of the way, I was just obeying instructions.
The OP said and I quote "For this thread I will like us to concentrate on 3 & 4 benchmarking them against each other."

I believe a shxxty cook is a lesser evil.

*drops pen*

NB: I'm even at Whitehouse now sef..

MarvellousGod:
For how long?


The two are very important. House should be organised atleast to a large extent and good food is essential as I wouldn't like my husband eating out... The two are very important for a healthy living. ...

^^, @Adonye, I see, you followed instructions. .Cool. .

Enjoy your meal at Whitehouse

You said it all ma'am, why ask for our opinions again.

Not all men like food as such in the first place, so Home management it is.

My sister, none of the above is of lesser evil abeg. Atleast, as a woman score average 4 d two na, is dat too much to ask for

Hmnn

Cooking is easier to learn o. She GATS dey arranged. Cos me can scatter sha. . But she has to b willing to learn o. Dats a major factor

Cooking is part of home management

http://bible.us/pro31.

V 15.She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

V 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

How can you manage home without cooking for the family?

You sound intelligent.
What are u doing in this section.
Don't ask me the same question.
Intelligence is not always associated with sanity.

There's no one size fits all. People look for different things in their spouses.

I have an aunt who can't cook or clean the house yet she's been married for 28 years.

She survives with different house maids.

faith2ogesco:
Cooking is easier to learn o. She GATS dey arranged. Cos me can scatter sha. . But she has to b willing to learn o. Dats a major factor

You can scatter and she go dey arrange na abi? ... Better learn how to be organised. .

MarvellousGod:
You can scatter and she go dey arrange na abi? ... Better learn how to be organised. .

don't get me wrong. I try. Jux DAT its harder for som1 with ma temperament combination. But trust me an arranged girl will thoroughly prefer ppl with my character . We tend to attract . And I ll learn from her share.

faith2ogesco:
don't get me wrong. I try. Jux DAT its harder for som1 with ma temperament combination. But trust me an arranged girl will thoroughly prefer ppl with my character . We tend to attract . And I ll learn from her share.

... Alright, no polo..

obowunmi:
There's no one size fits all. People look for different things in their spouses.

I have an aunt who can't cook or clean the house yet she's been married for 28 years.

She survives with different house maids.

DAT madam go b goddess for bedimatis o seriously. And she's prob working class

A useless man who waits to be served hand and foot is worse.

KanwuliaJara:
How can you manage home without cooking for the family?

Exactly what I asked myself when I saw this thread. Home management is an all-encompassing word that includes cooking. So how are the two comparable

Kimoni:


Exactly what I asked myself when I saw this thread. Home management is an all-encompassing word that includes cooking. So how are the two comparable

All na thread na!