how do i go about dealing with my wife's past relationship. whenever we are together, she most times compare my performance with those folks she dated. i am really pissed by this. Your suggestions folks.

Did she do this before you married?

yes and i pleaded with her to stop bringing it up. she still communicates with them and does inform me.

So then why did you marry her?

If you knew she was this way before and you begged her to stop but still married her why are you here asking for advice.

She obviously does not respect you. You cant change that now it is too late.

She is going to contiune to walk all over your spineless back.

watch out cause i think something is wrong somewhere

though you made a very big mistake

but if it continues this way, i think divorce will become the order of the day??

That woman is crazy; why should she compare your performance to her past lovers; I would suggest that you sit her down once more and discuss this issue seriously with her; if she remains adamant, then threaten her with divorce.

Note it must be a very serious threat.

...

Sorry to say, but the truth is She's immature, selfish and an emotional cheat. That she still compares you with her Exs and calls them isn't a good sign at alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, especially for a married woman. She has no respect for your union so treat her like one who doesn't until she either coems correct or leaves you on her own volition so you can meet a more matured person.


The next time she compares you with her Ex, compare her with our own ex(that you never told her about), if you don't have an Ex to compare her with, create an Ex character in you head of what you expect of her e.g:

YOUR WIFE: my 3rd boyfriend , james(EX), always knew how to fix things, how come you don't know how to fix anything.
YOU: mehnnn, this is why i miss diana(remember you never told her about any diana). matured, calm, supporting and was freaking great in bed. , **then you sigh** , those were the days.
Then either continue wht you're doing or change topic as if what she said didn't annoy you and it just brought back good old memories of your EX(diana).
she will first want to retaliate to hurt you, but keep treating her comparisons in similar fashion, but add variations to it. if you see she's unrepentant and continues to compare you, shock her one day when she's making such a statement by telling her this:

YOUR WIFE: If it was my ex jide, he would never have behave that way
YOU: **call her by name**, i've been wanting to tell you something.
YOUR WIFE: what!!!?
YOU: Its obvious you're not happy in this marriage and i think it's time we gave eachother some space to rethink our union. Maybe we're not meant for eachother, but for our Exs(mention the name of the Ex you normally counter her with, and the name of her Ex she normally calls)

watch her reaction



if she starts rant-begging, then you can play stubborn and after a certain period, start talking sense into her. But if she plays it cool like, she says i think we really need to, The my brother, it's time to send her out or leave her and move out.



this is my opinion

crazykid:

That woman is crazy; why should she compare your performance to her past lovers; I would suggest that you sit her down once more and discuss this issue seriously with her; if she remains adamant, then threaten her with divorce.

Note it must be a very serious threat.

I support

Is this general performance or sexual performance? Cos these are two different issues.

If it's general performance, then maybe it's not as serious, but if it is sexual, you better LISTEN to what she says and IMPROVE. If not another man will be watering your garden before long.

debosky:

Is this general performance or sexual performance? Cos these are two different issues.

If it's general performance, then maybe it's not as serious, but if it is sexual, you better LISTEN to what she says and IMPROVE. If not another man will be watering your garden before long.

Hmmmmmmmmm . . . . . on the other hand . . . i support this comment too

...

Bear wiff her. It'll be over after sometime.

correct

chaircover:

Then she says "but Kunle/michael or whatever her ex's names are never used to slap me"     

hehehe

He definitely can't win this one. He should listen carefully and CHANGE, if not she will continue.

The Girl dey crazy

Send her packing immediately, and tell everyone you want a wife when they ask you what happened.

I can guaranty you that the kids she has (IF ANY) are not yours.

Life expectancy is 70yrs or 80yrs maybe, so why invest your time in what makes you a loser; IF you think Im lying, meet someone elese and see how appreciated you will be. BURN the book and move on.

[b]2dleft, you're lucky she tells you about her past relationships. It would have been worse if she never told you and she not only communicates with them but also stab you in the back by sleeping with them. Life is full of challenges. These advice(s) or comments by other people might weigh you down. Happiness is seeing good in all areas of life. Optimism to me is the most magical thing on earth.

We wouldn't ever had any thread to read on this issue if she never told u a thing and you got to find out when you're probably 60 years old! Then it'll be so much shock you may lose a nut.

Every one suffers a sense of insecurity sometime, doesn't even God claim He's jealous because He loves us? Be calm. Cheating to me is a feeling of dependency. She must still be hooked and dependent on something we need to identify, from her previous relationships. Never argue, never complain, only make sure you get to know her needs.

i want to ask 2dleft a question at this juncture, do you think you satisfy this woman in bed if yes, then do you support her financially and morally? if NO then i'd recommend you switch the topic to, HOW CAN I SATISFY MY PARTNER IN BED? and you'll be surprised how resourceful people are and how willing they are to help you. Harness every energy you get on this great website to WoW your woman again. Take heart, i feel you.

Can't say i really trust my girlfriend but i'm learning to trust her. No body is perfect. Even me! wORD IS BORN[/b]

hahahhahahaha Better call the past guys and ask them their secret instead of crying on NL, limp noodle

Are you sure she compares or you're afraid that she does in her mind cos I dont see a female esp a wife doing such. Oniro paranoia

If you knew she was this way before and you begged her to stop but still married her why are you here asking for advice.

Dude's lying.

you better LISTEN to what she says and IMPROVE. If not another man will be watering your garden before long. Grin Grin

Abi o. Let him keep crying instead of loearning while she's getting better sex on the phone than with him

The woman needs to grow up.

The poster is big liar no sane or insane married woman will do that.

Maybe you should start compairing her to your ex girl friends and how she( your wife) no reach her/their slippers.

slimfine:

Maybe you should start compairing her to your ex girl friends and how she( your wife) no reach her/their slippers.

then all she'd have to say is "why didnt you marry them then"

pc guru:

The poster is big liar no sane or insane married woman will do that.

What do you mean by that?Shit happens and it has no bound.

@pc guru
Its like u've not gone deep with women, left 4 me i'll consider that rxn as warnin against impending danger

@Poster

You are a congolese withered di ck man - go and ask your ex women how your performances were and come back to use it to brag to your wife.

My Question and advise for you: Are you the bread winner of your house or she, or both ?Because if you,re the breadwinner i dont think she will have that impetus to tell u all those crap besides ur woman has complained about your performance- i hope its not that bad for her to complain i would advise you also work on your performance cause from the look of things i think she is in charge of yours house because she's acting as if she does not have a thing to loose-my be you.

bros so you saw the bad road and decided not to go by air; why are you now complaining?

I agree with what viperman said. She's immature and selfish. To disrespect you to your face like that is rude and out of place. You might want to reconsider this relationship.

Are you sure this is not her version of "Hell Date"?

Be on the look out dude.

I can't help but say: "Shut up and just take what she is giving you".

You married someone that, in my own opinion, is mentally disturbed and she showed you the whole symptoms well before the marriage but you still went along and married her.

I can't even, as a man, contemplate the thought of comparing my girl with exes and then repeatedly TELL her she is inferior whilst I am in contact with the exes, talkless of contemplating a woman doing it to a man.

Shut up and eat her sh*t and stop pissing me off, wimp. You both deserve each other.