DonTim1:
ur former guy, being a lecturer? and still claiming he loves u is kinda weird, gurl forget it, do you know how many beautiful and some even well behaved girls surrond him in school?did his life just pause since '13 ? you are prolly unfinished business or un-conquered grounds.

face you life,you graduated 2013, and u claim to want to marry, (i suspect, u want to marry a ready guy i.e. one with good job et al), y not build your own career and perhaps one day, you and your current guy can tie the knot. he isnt ready as u implied and most igbos i knw would not marry until they are very secure.

PS: and to the supermen who claim they dont / wouldnt cry cause of a lady, continue,next time emotions hold u and u cry with her, just remember u lied here.

barbiegirl4luv:


Thanks alot

But I am not looking for a ready made guy, I always mould my guys into what I want and they always do appreciate it, the job he got as a lecturer, he didn't want to take it up, he got two at the same time, I was the one that inspired him to take up the lecturing job, so we have always been there for each other. And I am 27 I have never for once been baffled abt marriage cos it dsnt move me coupled with the rate of divorce out there, it was just that day (last week) we had an argument I got to think about it and I know I can't run from it. And again he inspires me all the time always advising me and motivating me to move up my career. But my present guy has cares less about everything, can't take up challenges and my main problem with him is that I am feeling unsecured.

and for clarity I am not ready for marriage I just need to know my stand and start making up my mind.

beylinko:
This may sound strange to you but do you know it takes more than love to marry someone? when misunderstanding, challenges comes and he becomes unlovable,can you stick it out with him. Relationships like this goes beyond emotions. what is that thing you see in him that can make you keep loving him even if he doesn't deserve your love... moreover, you said he is God fearing, its a good place to start from and by the reason of him inspiring you, that is a plus. Just let go of your fear. you were even willing to date guys not better than him so why not him.
many of our blessings don't come in flashy advert screaming see me! see me.Talk to him, heart to heart. peace!!!

Nigga44:
Any guy that cries for a girl is nothing but a weak-minded idiott

raydatluvs:
bro, i knw of emotional tears but why wud a guy cry at every issue, I tink dats petty and sissy, IMO.

agarawu23:
why are we like this ? Something hasn't happen to you doesn't mean it's not happening to others. Yes we can cry for love. I was once in his shoe, i learnt it from my close friend then.

It's emotional tears bro

2sex:
You raised a silent point. I am a guy and sincerely speaking if I asked a girl out and she doesn't handle it well, man it would be a risk on her part if she eventually comes after the flame has died!

I love my current babe die cos she didn't make me feel silly!

agarawu23:
that's it
We should be with someone that's ganna make us happy, that's when you will enjoy your relationship

Roland17:


Abeg which beer you dey drink make I order one trailer load for this your comment abeg because mere flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, it is the spiriiiiiiiit..

@op, personally on my scale of preference in relationship determination, Love is way below my totem pole..yes wayyyy below..love is not enough to hold any relationship together however that does not justify entering a relationship out of pity to pacify a long suffering toaster whose best strategy to win you over is reverse psychology.

I would advise you critically analyze your plans for the future in relationship to marriage which is seemingly your priority, ask your present boyfriend whom I want to believe you are presently committed to about his plans for the relationship, establish the future of your relationship to avoid "had I known", I am not one to encourage ladies to hold on to a man without prospects or concrete plans for the future as that is selfish and inhuman.

If his plans are desirable and achievable with a well constructed strategy irrespective of changing variables then stick with him and you can both realize your dream, if not I would advise you consider your other prospects critically or just move on without a relationship and look to improve yourself academically and professionally which would I turn yield some sense of financial stability and fulfillment.

please ensure you have in some measure prepared yourself for uncertainties which are inevitable in life.

Roland17:


Abeg which beer you dey drink make I order one trailer load for this your comment abeg because mere flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, it is the spiriiiiiiiit..

@op, personally on my scale of preference in relationship determination, Love is way below my totem pole..yes wayyyy below..love is not enough to hold any relationship together however that does not justify entering a relationship out of pity to pacify a long suffering toaster whose best strategy to win you over is reverse psychology.

I would advise you critically analyze your plans for the future in relationship to marriage which is seemingly your priority, ask your present boyfriend whom I want to believe you are presently committed to about his plans for the relationship, establish the future of your relationship to avoid "had I known", I am not one to encourage ladies to hold on to a man without prospects or concrete plans for the future as that is selfish and inhuman.

If his plans are desirable and achievable with a well constructed strategy irrespective of changing variables then stick with him and you can both realize your dream, if not I would advise you consider your other prospects critically or just move on without a relationship and look to improve yourself academically and professionally which would I turn yield some sense of financial stability and fulfillment.

please ensure you have in some measure prepared yourself for uncertainties which are inevitable in life.

raumdeuter:


You are too smart to be an Arsenal fan. Come over to the Bavarian side of Europe

barbiegirl4luv:


My dear this is not fiction, he is a very sensitive person and that was what turns me off about him them. I just thought of it that even with all have done to him to make him forget we can ever be he never gave up. It baffles me, it's rear before u see such guys nowadays. Even my present BF wnt do that

barbiegirl4luv:
I

Some weeks ago this my long time friend called me, an argument came up and I didn't even want to hear him out, all of a sudden I realised he was crying on phone saying it's because I know he loved me so much am treating him so bad. When I heard that, I felt sober and guilty and thought about everything that even with everything I have done to this guy he never gave up.



Please I need your candid advice and please share your thoughts.

Thanks.

RoyalRoy:







All I see is an emotionally weak man!!

Crying at every opportunity.

Is he a baby?


Be careful of your choices.

He is already working and since 2012 he hasn't moved on?

I see red flags everywhere.

Never date or marry anyone out of pity. NEVER!!!

Adufetohposh:
hello handsome, trust u re good.

emerged01:

Then,you have a choice,if the other is with fear of God.

barbiegirl4luv:


Thanks dear.

My checkpoint has always been the fear of God, but my current BF doesn't have the fear of God, though he goes to church and I pray every time that God should touch his heart and we also talk everyday/everytime. But this guy has the complete fear of God and knows Y he is serving God.

barbiegirl4luv:


Marriage has never been my issue, I dnt even disturb my BF about it cos am always scared of it but u know there is no how u can run from it. My then (abroad) BF I broke up with him cos he gave me a condition that we must get married before the end of 2013 and I said NO cos I was scared

Am not eager to get married but one day it will come and u have to plan ahead.

Your second question - he has not moved on though he told me he has a GF and that he knows He dsnt deserve me but I would always be in his mind.

Am just confused cos all my life I have always been very careful about my choice of man cos marriage is a lifetime issue if you make the wrong choice, it's your cross, u have to bear it.

Thanks a lot

barbiegirl4luv:


Thanks alot

But I am not looking for a ready made guy, [b]I always mould my guys into what I want [/b]and they always do appreciate it, the job he got as a lecturer, he didn't want to take it up, he got two at the same time, I was the one that inspired him to take up the lecturing job, so we have always been there for each other. And I am 27 I have never for once been baffled abt marriage cos it dsnt move me coupled with the rate of divorce out there, it was just that day (last week) we had an argument I got to think about it and I know I can't run from it. And again he inspires me all the time always advising me and motivating me to move up my career. But my present guy has cares less about everything, can't take up challenges and my main problem with him is that I am feeling unsecured.

and for clarity I am not ready for marriage I just need to know my stand and start making up my mind.

andromida:


Is it possible to mould a grown man into what you want? Please be cautious with this line of reasoning.

enomakos:
na fear of God go make marriage last?

Shymm3x:


My android app.