Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,143,187 members, 7,780,297 topics. Date: Thursday, 28 March 2024 at 11:52 AM

Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby (67420 Views)

It's Stupidity To Divorce Your Wife Because She Cheats On You - Nigerian Lady / Reasons You Should Not Divorce Your Man Because He Can't Satisfy You Sexually / Before you divorce An Adulterous Wife. (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (20) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by limamintruth: 6:54pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


No matter how young unmarried teenagers or ladies in their twenties see this thread, they will never understand and i understand perfectly and this was why i asked married ladies but trust nairaland, na teenagers and young ladies in their adolescent 20s dey come rant.

They still believe that the body that is intoxicating them can make any man stay faithful to them maybe they should ask some hot divorcees to have a better idea.

Its no gain saying that im only passionate about writing and it will do any young lady a great good to see my write ups objectively and not dogmatically.

This is not about condoling a cheating hubby but the reality on ground.


The reality on ground is that it is not an impossibility for divorced women to later succcessfully remarry. That is the only reality on ground.


I dont know much about the south region though, but even though we have the highest rate of divorced women in nigeria here in the north, it will interest you to note that alot of these divorced women successfully remarry later on.


Our women must not be discouraged from availing themselves of the option of divorce when faced with unrepentant cheating husbands. Their well being should be most paramount, rather than an already dead marriage sir.

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Joy1706(f): 6:57pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


If you are married just pray you do not catch your hubby cheating on you BUR if that happens just come back and read this thread again.

I have no need for this thread. Your views on men's infidelity in marriage irritates me.

Maybe you can visit this thread in future if and when you catch ur wife cheating

12 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Joy1706(f): 6:59pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


Oh i see, no wonder...
Na only that one u see. I know say e dey pepper u for body

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Stillfire: 7:07pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


Im sorry i have edited and number 4 is now number five and i muust say you are likely not to have issues in your marriage with this reasonable mindset.

I have conseled many married ladies and 8 out of 10 issues bothers on the sexual infidelity of the man and after i finish talking to them they tend to realize the truth.

No man is worth your stress and while we know there are men who will not cheat on their wives,there is usually no stamp on their heads that they will be faithful.

My write ups are usually deep and very hard for the immature at heart to decipher. I believe if every lady can care less as difficult as it may sound and ignore a philandering hubby,the happier they will be.

My advice for the guy who have decided to tow this lane is to respect the wife n do it far far away and also use a protection to reduce the chance of bringing home sti to the woman at home.

Most men are not nterested in having you leave for another lady but they just want to have a taste of any emotionally vulnulrable lady who brings herself so cheaply to share another lady hubby but wen you start making trouble wiith him and trying to prevent him from unleashing his passion,that is when trouble starts.

A good guy can turn bad and a faithful man can bcome a reckless philanderer so these questions are very vital only for a lady who is faced with the situation.


There is nothing we won't see in this place! grin grin grin grin

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Toks2008(m): 7:14pm On Sep 23, 2015
limamintruth:



The reality on ground is that it is not an impossibility for divorced women to later succcessfully remarry. That is the only reality on ground.


I dont know much about the south region though, but even though we have the highest rate of divorced women in nigeria here in the north, it will interest you to note that alot of these divorced women successfully remarry later on.


Our women must not be discouraged from availing themselves of the option of divorce when faced with unrepentant cheating husbands. Their well being should be most paramount, rather than an already dead marriage sir.

Now you are twisting things.

I am not talking about divorcees not getting married but the point is if you divorce your philandering hubby and marry another man who ends up towing same path, will you also leave that marriage and start shopping with your body for a faithful man?

This is my point here.

1 Like

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by HIGHESTPOPORI(m): 7:20pm On Sep 23, 2015
xynerise:

If I marry someone like you cheating go be my hobby grin
I always knew you are bad,married or not,hope Manu wins tonight

1 Like

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Nobody: 7:24pm On Sep 23, 2015
cococandy:


@bold, gbam. Exactly.

You guys lead. We follow.

If you will stay married to the lady and endure her lover after lover, pray for her to change and protect the marriage from divorce even when the lady can't stop sleeping around, we will.

If you won't, we won't.

So you guys are essentially "follow follow" with no minds of your own..
Why then do you dispute the notion that males are superior, you have clearly stated that you do only what a man does....
People who call women "zombies" surely have a strong argument.

2 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Toks2008(m): 7:31pm On Sep 23, 2015
cococandy:

Come to think of it, isn't better to leave at a young age than wait until it's too late?
For a woman less than 40 and still sexually active, putting up with a serial philanderer is a good way to waste her youth.
The earlier she leaves, the better chances she has of putting her life back on track and moving in with someone else if that's what she wants.

God forbid at 26 a lady has to endure a philanderer. Until when?

At that stage, she should be enjoying her marriage and experimenting in all the corners of the house with her darling husband, but he's busy donating his cum all over town and bringing the watery remains back to her. Tufia.
It's a waste of young womanhood. Horrible waste.

It would even be easier for a woman above 45 to find other ways of dealing with a man who started philandering in his middle age. Maybe do back to him with her own young bobo or ignore him if she's "menopausing" and not interested in sex with him anymore.

I don't know how to explain this.

I am not encouraging any man to cheat on their wives but these things happen in 7 out of 10 cases and this is why i threw this very sensitive and vital questions for married ladies to ponder over.

I dont know but i presume you are still young to understand this. Pretty face or sexy body does not keep a man faithful to a woman, please go out and you will be amazed at the number of sexy pretty ladies that are single and ready to mingle and its like these babes do not give a fvk if the man is married or not so lets leave sentiments,im not saying there are no faithful men out there and im not going to pretend that im unaware of the fact that many marriages crash today because of this monster called infidelity.

Yet i have seen countless number of ladies change man after man until many men have really used them before they realize that there is more to life than being a robocop over a man's fidelity.

So these questions are for those who find themselves with a cheating hubby and for those who divorcees the question is if the second one does same wil they continue their quest?

I want evry lady reading this to let this sink...your happiness in life or marriage must never be hinged on a man's fidelity towards you else you will only live a miserable life because some ladies are out there to unseat you from your marriage.

Its so foolish that some ladies just rush out of their marriage to give room for a side chic to come dominate a home they have built for years and ironically these ladies go out to start sleeping around with even worse guys MOST TIMES and only very minute few get another hubby fast enough.

I have really tried to make this explicit.

See no randy man in 95% of the case is ready to give up his precious woman or wife for a desperate low self esteem lady but he just wants to have her as a side meal and in most cases what we have is husband sharers and not snatchers but it is the wife at home thaat willingly give up her man to be snatched and men as weak as they are will always be carried away by the tot of having a new body to explore so once you leave the lady moves in and take over the man and the man forgets you ever exists and worse still the so called lady divorcees end up living a solitary life or even start frolicking about with useless men so who is fooling who.

If every lady can understand how to remain indifferent, trust me, that randy hubby will always eat these desperate ladies and run back to you.

1 Like

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Favolly(f): 7:35pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


Easy to say.

Si at 26 say you caught your hubby cheating then you will leave and never have sex again?

I hear you.
If at 26, You catch your wife cheating, wouldn't you leave?

1 Like

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Rocktation(f): 7:49pm On Sep 23, 2015
They still believe that the body that is intoxicating them can make any man stay faithful to them maybe they should ask some hot divorcees to have a better idea.

Counsellor, this is what you said. I find it disturbing that you're of such mindset, if you truly are a counsellor. Why don't you want to accept that there really are men, who very comfortably, would never cheat? Or is all the hateful thing there really is to cheating, not the actual burying of the dingdong where it doesn't belong? Some people find there's more to life than sex sex sex, reaaaally. You cannot use the weakness in you as the standard by which every man must be judged. Get that into your mindset and the world will be better for it. Don't you see other men telling it differently on this thread? They're not lesser men. It's the incessant peddling of the falsehood that cheating is hardwired into every man's gene, that's making more philandering males exist. Rather than come here to try at convincing women to accept a wrong, try convincing men to desist from doing that wrong. The world's healing begins with you. Change your mindset today.

15 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Toks2008(m): 8:00pm On Sep 23, 2015
Favolly:

If at 26, You catch your wife cheating, wouldn't you leave?

I will never divorce a cheating wife instead i will just marry another one and allow her walk out of my life gently.

GOD forbid i waste my hard earned money to divorce a slut.

2 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Stillfire: 8:02pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:

I will never divorce a cheating wife instead i will just marry another one and allow her walk out of my life gently.
GOD forbid i waste my hard earned money to divorce a slut.

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Am I the only one that finds this guy's comments funny?

12 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Favolly(f): 8:07pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


I will never divorce a cheating wife instead i will just marry another one and allow her walk out of my life gently.

GOD forbid i waste my hard earned money to divorce a slut.
So you would rather marry a second wife than divorce a cheating wife??

Yea, I guess that makes the situation better. Makes perfect sense!

10 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Favolly(f): 8:08pm On Sep 23, 2015
Smh...
I just can't with some of you on here mehn!
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Nobody: 8:09pm On Sep 23, 2015
Kachisbarbie:


hehehe. Very yeye question

I will stay and be a sex and HIV partner. #Iranu



he won't list that one...rather he listed this

^^^, forget the IF there_that's just an easy way out, trying to make the statement conditional while subliminally implying that all men cheat. That's the lie they use to encourage women to stay in bondage How are you sure the next man would be better?
*how are you sure he won't beat you too?
*or be a worst cheat.


And a younglady would take it as her destiny to perpetually endure. When my name isn't ndidi... undecided
Lol! I thought your name is Kachi(odinakachi)? Is synonymous to "Ndidi" grin
So gonna leave whatever in God's hand.
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Toks2008(m): 8:12pm On Sep 23, 2015
Favolly:

So you would rather marry a second wife than divorce a cheating wife??

Yea, I guess that makes the situation better. Makes perfect sense!


Please put yourself in the shoes of the man and see if it makes sense for me to spend thousands of my hard earned money to divorce a lady and then makes her very free to be with the man. Never will i be that foolish.

It will be on record that she has cheated so that at anytime she wants to make trouble with the new woman she just won't be able to do that so let her go look for money and divorce herself and i will let her go.
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Nobody: 8:17pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


I will never divorce a cheating wife instead i will just marry another one and allow her walk out of my life gently.

GOD forbid i waste my hard earned money to divorce a slut.
Just as youv hv been putting it to ladies here, i put it to you ; if the second one cheats?? undecided

Why marrying another woman anyway? Why don't you stay and keep loving your wife just as you're advising ladies here?

21 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Nobody: 8:19pm On Sep 23, 2015
Stillfire:


grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Am I the only one that finds this guy's comments funny?
Everything he has written on this thread is hogwash.. counsellor indeed undecided

11 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Toks2008(m): 8:22pm On Sep 23, 2015
MarvellousGod:
Just as youv hv been putting it to ladies here, i put it to you ; if the second one cheats?? undecided

Most men are looking for sexual encounters and infact many of these guys pray for their wife to goof so that they will have reasons to try another new lady so that answers your question.

But we all know that in this cruel world, once a lady changes the second hubby she will be seen as a free for all.
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Toks2008(m): 8:23pm On Sep 23, 2015
MarvellousGod:
Everything he has written on this thread is hogwash.. counsellor indeed undecided

Your opinion so its your call.
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Nobody: 8:34pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


Most men are looking for sexual encounters and infact many of these guys pray for their wife to goof so that they will have reasons to try another new lady so that answers your question.

But we all know that in this cruel world, once a lady changes the second hubby she will be seen as a free for all.
So men have the right to behave however they wish?

You didn't answer the other question. .

Instead of you to preach fidelity and how men can be more faithful to their partner, you're preaching how ladies should accommodate cheating partners. .
As if ladies were born to endure... na only men sabi enjoy. .... ..

11 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by justcallbuki(f): 8:41pm On Sep 23, 2015
xynerise:
If I marry someone like you cheating go be my hobby grin
nice meeting u.
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Toks2008(m): 8:44pm On Sep 23, 2015
MarvellousGod:
So men have the right to behave however they wish?

You didn't answer the other question. .

Instead of you to preach fidelity and how men can be more faithful to their partner, you're preaching how ladies should accommodate cheating partners. .
As if ladies were born to endure... na only men sabi enjoy. .... ..

I will respond to you only if you are married.

Its no point wasting my time on replying if you have no clue of the marital experience.

Sometimes i just feel like dropping my write up and allow people make their decisions.

How can u preach that men should not philander when a man xan marry more wives if he desires?

Will it not be fooliishness on my part?

If ladies dont wake up to the fact that it takes the grace of God to have a faithful hubby then let them continue dreaming.
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by cococandy(f): 9:12pm On Sep 23, 2015
njokusboy:


So you guys are essentially "follow follow" with no minds of your own..
Why then do you dispute the notion that males are superior, you have clearly stated that you do only what a man does....
People who call women "zombies" surely have a strong argument.
Lmao.
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by xynerise: 9:27pm On Sep 23, 2015
justcallbuki:
nice meeting u.
The pleasure is mine cool
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by bamidele029: 9:28pm On Sep 23, 2015
jmoore:
"Would you divorce him and marry a faithful man?"

Why is this option not listed?

undecided

Thank you, why is OP trying to imply that there are no faithful men and women will always have to settle for philanderers Note that there is a difference between someone making a one off mistake and a philanderer . A philanderer is unrepentant and not worth the stress

4 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by xynerise: 9:30pm On Sep 23, 2015
HIGHESTPOPORI:
I always knew you are bad,married or not,hope Manu wins tonight
You knew I am bad? Wow! grin

Man utd MUST win.....don't derail
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by lolababe331e: 9:36pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


One of the dumbest statements ladies utter is "My man can never cheat on me"

Even pastors and bishops cheat on their wives and just as you wrote..only the ones that are caught are called philanderers while smooth operators are the pride of their women.

The earlier ladies wake up the better. If you like change spouse a million times,except there is a way to know a potential cheat,any lady who leaves a man due to sexual unfaithfullness to be with another man is only playing a ping pong game with her body and emotions.

A guy can die for you yet cheat on you and its either a lady understands this or she remains in delusion as long as she lives.

Going by that "logic" we can as well conclude that any woman who leaves a wife beater, criminal , etc is also playing ping png since at the end of the day any human being can change. By the way that would also apply to men since if a man leaves a promiscuous woman to marry a faithful one ,there is no guarantee that she won't also become unfaithful abi

7 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by limamintruth: 9:46pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


Now you are twisting things.

I am not talking about divorcees not getting married but the point is if you divorce your philandering hubby and marry another man who ends up towing same path, will you also leave that marriage and start shopping with your body for a faithful man?

This is my point here.


I get your point, but try and widen your scope of assumptions please.

That was why I reminded you that this life in itself is a risk.
And just because the first marriage didnt work does not automatically mean the subsequent marriage will also fail.
All marriages may either fail or succeed (irrespective of whether first marriage or second marriage). But we still go ahead to take the risk cos we believe it worth it.

Or would you now say because alot of marriages dont work these days, people should desist from marriage in totality (since no one can be 100% sure whether or not one's fiance(e) will later betray him/her when they later become married)? undecided


Divorce is a risk worth taking if one(be it male or female) is faced with an unrepentant cheating spouse.


Remember not everyone has same level of emotional tolerance when being glaringly cheated.
BTW women have more fragile heart than we men sef. So dont expect them to be able to emotionally manage it when they are continuosly being cheated in marriage sir.


Infact, I personally know of a lady who developed severe mental problem later on in her marriage because of the emotional &psychological torture she withstood for years from her husband. And till date, the said woman has still not fully recovered (though her family have finally succeeded in separating her from the man).

And I strongly believe she wont have been in this mess if only she had divorced the heartless philanderer's as.s early enough.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Toks2008(m): 10:03pm On Sep 23, 2015
limamintruth:



I get your point, but try and widen your scope of assumptions please.

That was why I reminded you that this life in itself is a risk.
And just because the first marriage didnt work does not automatically mean the subsequent marriage will also fail.
All marriages may either fail or succeed (irrespective of whether first marriage or second marriage). But we still go ahead to take the risk cos we believe it worth it.

Or would you now say because alot of marriages dont work these days, people should desist from marriage in totality (since no one can be 100% sure whether or not one's fiance(e) will later betray him/her when they later become married)? undecided


Divorce is a risk worth taking if one(be it male or female) is faced with an unrepentant cheating spouse.


Remember not everyone has same level of emotional tolerance when being glaringly cheated.
BTW women have more fragile heart than we men sef. So dont expect them to be able to emotionally manage it when they are continuosly being cheated in marriage sir.


Infact, I personally know of a lady who developed severe mental problem later on in her marriage because of the emotional &psychological torture she withstood for years from her husband. And till date, the said woman has still not fully recovered (though her family have finally succeeded in separating her from the man).

And I strongly believe she wont have been in this mess if only she had divorced the heartless philanderer's as.s early enough.


You are still missing it.

Divorce is not the issue perse but leaving because your hubby philanders which is still ok.

my question is IF THE NEW MAN DOES SAME will0 you move on again, if yes then u are on a long thing and if No then you may say its worth the try.
Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by lolababe331e: 10:15pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


You are still missing it.

Divorce is not the issue perse but leaving because your hubby philanders which is still ok.

my question is IF THE NEW MAN DOES SAME will0 you move on again, if yes then u are on a long thing and if No then you may say its worth the try.

Yes I will, since the the word philanderer indicates an unrepentant cheat. Then depending on what age I am and if I already have children I may just decide to stay single of have relationships but not remarry . Many have done such and they have happy lives, I know women who got it right on their 3rd Marriage and women who decided to stay single focus on their kids.

By the way the same would go for a man, if the 2nd wife is also promiscuous will he then stay or move on again ? Men who've had multiple marriages are also seen as irresponsible by society so there isn't much difference. The important thing is not to live your life based on how people will view you but what makes you happy.

16 Likes

Re: Before you divorce your Adulterous hubby by Favolly(f): 10:16pm On Sep 23, 2015
Toks2008:


Please put yourself in the shoes of the man and see if it makes sense for me to spend thousands of my hard earned money to divorce a lady and then makes her very free to be with the man. Never will i be that foolish.

It will be on record that she has cheated so that at anytime she wants to make trouble with the new woman she just won't be able to do that so let her go look for money and divorce herself and i will let her go.
Keep going, I'm really learning from your words of wisdom

In other news, when did divorce become so expensive in Nigeria?

7 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (20) (Reply)

What is This Small Boy Trying To Do??(photo) / Zimbabwean Wife Grabs Husband's Joystick For Denying Her Sex During Fasting / Man Laments As Best Friend Sleeping With His Wife Breaks His Bed (Video)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 88
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.