Am a young lady ,engaged, still an undergraduate started working sometimes last year. there this guy in my company bt nt in same office different branches.bt they come around once a while or meeting days.i dont notice him anyway wen they come around bt sometimes same last year wen they came around for a meeting he walked up to me, i can say that was the first time i really noticed him he demanded me to help him out on somethings which i agreed.after then we av been communicating almost everyday he wooed me which i knw definetly he will do one day bt i told him i am engaged.he cooked up different stories that his G/F jst dump him normal guys lie LOL.,bt i never dance to his tone.bt we still communicate on phone almost every,chat online.evrything started at DEC. wen i was suppose to go 4 a program and i invited him which he agreed to go wit me and the program was all nite, lol and behold we were at the program together bt it started rainin around 1am till day break we were together cos evry where was crowdy and it was an open feild program i had no choice than to be in his arms till morning cos it was very cold.ever since the friendship grew stronger each day even wen we dont see each other bt talk on phone evryday, any day i didnt talk to him it look like my day as nt been complete like wise him any day we did nt talk maybe cos of busy schedule he call the nxt day to accuse me of nt calling even to find out wat was wrong that he didnt call .any way i do most of the calling cos he claimed he's too busy sometimes to call which i agreed cos i knw the nature of his job.after the christmas break in office he invited me to his house which i did.even b4 then av spoken to the sister on phone,on getting there thinking i will get bck that same day bt he confused me to stay i must confess i reallly enjoyed him all nite,ever since then we av been having dates, my fiancee is nt away of this nt even anyone.bt am afraid will this still continue cos my introduction is jst few weeks to this time and am planning 4 my wedding.i knw i cant marry him and i knw he cant also cos he confessed lately he has a 11yrs relationship bt he has nt promise marriage cos he was considering something which i told he i cant leave my fiancee for him cos if i does he will definetly consider somethings also.bt lately he has started misbehaving which i knew will definetly happen bt wen i challenged him he said he doesnt want to be too serious wit the relationship so it wont affect me or him.even nw to make the matter worse av been moved to his branch so we see almost evry day unless if he nt in office the only thing is that we are nt on same floor.cos i believe he felt the same way av been feeling bt the question is can we leave each other cos i ask him also he said he cant still marry me if i agree bt i knw he cant i really like him i can explain bt i jst knw am in love which i knw he love me to bt he's afraid of dissappointment.PLEASE I NEED UR ADVISE AND DONT NEED ANYONE TO CONDENM ME HERE.

na im you wan marry? you have few weeks to your wedding and you are foking another man? a man with 11 years relationship without commitment? na people like you make the issue of dik and pussie of no more meaningful issue, you have turned it into a case of do mi n do e - you are a crappy little frog - so you want to marry your fiance and live happily ever after? no way, that marriage can never succeed, you have laid the foundation for the failure from the start.

and him? when he has his own girlfriend? are u a toad or a frog? Explain to me first, so i can understand the way you think? Person no dey look your face, yes you open your pussy wide for him? Na wa o - what or wetin dis world dey turn into self? Loook, you better go wipe your slit with sand paper b4 it goes sour on you, you retrogressively humped ogle. I pity that your fiance, and to think he dips his think dik into your loose pussy without knowing that one ugly hunk just removed his own minutes ago? You are a bitch and a gagantuan mis totle.

@Poster,
Do you really know what you want?
Your Indecision is highly pitiable and I suggest you make up your mind before it's too late for you.

He is sleeping with you and will not marry you while holding on to his 11 year (!) relationship. You said you will not leave your fiance for him. What is there to be confused about?

You have obviously put yourself in a mess. My advice for you is to look for a clever way to postpone the wedding so you can clear your head. You are very confused and unsure about whom you want to marry. You like this new guy who you are sleeping with, but he is not ready to commit to you (and you don't sound ready to commit either).

Postpone the wedding and clear your head. Most importantly, stop sleeping with this guy in your office. He obviously has a way of confusing you or getting you to do what he wants, so stop that and try to decide where you want to move with your life.

I suspect you are simply not ready for marriage. If you were, you would not be sleeping with a guy who has an 11 year relationship while planning your wedding.

@i laugh i said it b4 i dont need anyone to insult me dont u watch it on movies it does happen and can happen to anyone.dont tell me u are the only one ur G/F is sleeping wit i said i need advice afterall am nt married.
i av decided i knw definetly i cant marry him we cant marry each other even if he wants it i wont, 4 the 11yrs realationship i jst knew he using dat to cosole his self cos he jst 28 and wen did he start dating the girl dat is jst 22.

beckky45:

after then we av been communicating almost everyday he wooed me which i knw definetly he will do one day bt i told him i am engaged.he cooked up different stories that his G/F jst dump him normal guys lie LOL.,bt i never dance to his tone.bt we still communicate on phone almost every,chat online.evrything started at DEC. wen i was suppose to go 4 a program and i invited him which he agreed to go wit me and the program was all nite, lol and behold we were at the program together bt it started rainin around 1am till day break we were together cos evry where was crowdy and it was an open feild program i had no choice than to be in his arms till morning cos it was very cold.ever since the friendship grew stronger each day even wen we dont see each other bt talk on phone evryday, any day i didnt talk to him it look like my day as nt been complete like wise him any day we did nt talk maybe cos of busy schedule he call the nxt day to accuse me of nt calling even to find out wat was wrong that he didnt call .any way i do most of the calling cos he claimed he's too busy sometimes to call which i agreed cos i knw the nature of his job. after the christmas break in office he invited me to his house which i did.even b4 then av spoken to the sister on phone,on getting there thinking i will get bck that same day bt he confused me to stay i must confess i reallly enjoyed him all nite,ever since then we av been having dates, my fiancee is nt away of this nt even anyone.bt am afraid will this still continue cos my introduction is jst few weeks to this time and am planning 4 my wedding. i knw i cant marry him and i knw he cant also cos he confessed lately he has a 11yrs relationship bt he has nt promise marriage cos he was considering something which i told he i cant leave my fiancee for him cos if i does he will definetly consider somethings also. bt lately he has started misbehaving which i knew will definetly happen bt wen i challenged him he said he doesnt want to be too serious wit the relationship so it wont affect me or him. even nw to make the matter worse av been moved to his branch so we see almost evry day unless if he nt in office the only thing is that we are nt on same floor.cos i believe he felt the same way av been feeling bt the question is can we leave each other cos i ask him also he said he cant still marry me if i agree bt i knw he cant i really like him i can explain bt i jst knw am in love which i knw he love me to bt he's afraid of dissappointment.PLEASE I NEED UR ADVISE AND DONT NEED ANYONE TO CONDENM ME HERE.

Beckky, try and listen to yourself!! You have a wedding plan that has reached an advanced stage and you are still having a fling with someone who obviously doesnt love you but knows how to get you confused and get what he wants from you. He is now telling you he has an eleven year relationship and has pointedly told you he can not marry you. Why are you still wasting your time and presenting yourself so cheap to him? You are the one making the calls, you are the one asking if he will marry you, yet you have a guy who has decided to spend the rest of his life with you.

It is time for you to flee because this guy has nothing to offer you. Just take it that this never happens otherwise even after getting married to your fiance, he would still continue to have you at the snap of a finger. Please wake up to the present reality.

@ i laugh pls relax,
@ Poster, i quite agree with some of i laugh post
U said u are not married, dnt u knw if u cannot keep urself for ur fiance u will definitely do the same wen u get married
This issue is answered already, u cant marry him and he cant marry u, tell me wat are u doing with him
Feelings grow because we allow it, u cud avoid it from the start
The best thing to do, stay away from the guy end the ungodly relationship and ask for giviness from God and ur fiance
i wish u can do that! all the best and please let us do good cos we all knw wen we are doing something wrong.

some pple like chasing after shadow probabily i will it infatuation but very soon u will know the guy doesnt love you but only enjoy mess you around.

@ charmine tanx.  i knw is bad bt am talking abt the feelings nw,4 nw cant help out
only God.i really want this to stop b4 my wedding. bt recently everything as reduce we av nt av any date 4 this month cos i dont really want to, he nt disturbing likewise to. bt we avnt call it quit.bt talk on phone regularly.

this is serious.

beckky45:

@ charmine tanx.  i knw is bad bt am talking abt the feelings nw,4 nw cant help out
only God.i really want this to stop b4 my wedding. bt recently everything as reduce we av nt av any date 4 this month cos i dont really want to, he nt disturbing likewise to. bt we avnt call it quit.bt talk on phone regularly.

It sounds so clear dat u are finding it hard to quit cos u are enjoying it
Pls wake up from this fantasy and face the reality
Stay away from him and avoid him in everyway

Caution ya lower lips before you lose both ends, bootycall aint that the name for this? i mean you only feel lust or perhaps the bloke performed well but if thats the issue ya guy can always learn if only youll open up and teach him. . . you didnt mention receiving cash from this dude so i guess you aint feeling this way cos of his cash or connections . . . incase you havent heard ''husband scarce for market''

The best thing you can do to your partner is leave them when you no longer love them.

I must say i feel you, but there is a way that seems right but the end leads to destruction.If there is no battle there can't be a VICTOR.This is suppose to be your TEST but it's obvious you're failing already,but rather late than never.

There is what they call "ERROR AT THE T JUNCTION", the only problem is that it will cost you time if you turn back and retrace your steps.
Trust me you will get home safe and sound.
So baby just "STOP, TURN BACK and NEVER LOOK BACK"
You will not die.

They call it "VALLEY OF SHADOW OF DEATH".
Is just a shadow and not the real THING.
he goes about LIKE A ROARING LION.
The figure of speech says "Like a roaring lion" which means is not a lion.
The true LION is HE the LION OF TRIBE OF JUDAH.

Say no and it will be well with your Future.
Take Care n know that HE loves you.

I just read through this story and i was tempeted to insult you but on second thought using a matured mind to think about this. situations like this aren't rare, you have alot of married women in nigeria now going after toy boys. So also some or most of the people getting married aren't marrying for love anymore, most people now marry for the sake of having kids and for the sake of been grouped among the "MARRIED" class.

My dear, the solution to your problem is prayer, tell God to help you, fornication,adultery are all sin, Lots of us on this site have worse skeletons in our cupborads than beccky does.
Let he who does not throw the first stone

As i was saying becky, you made a big mistake sleeping with him, but its not too late, ask for forgiveness, control ur sexual libido and keep urslef for ur man, This is what the devil does, when good things are about to happen he brings up "man of my dreams" kind of people , the purpose at the long run is to spoil the good thing coming ur way. Now you have a choice , decide and RUN. Bleep

i hate it wen people cant give reasonable advice.this thing is happening to thousands of ladies out there even the married.bt the purpose of the site to give advice.if av nt remorse abt it i wouldnt av posted it i will just continue wit it.i believe this the only place i can receive advise cos i cant tell anyone cos they all knw am engage and i find out that rather than advice people jst condemning. anyway na una sabi.one thing i will tell u guyz that are condemning nw is ask ur G/F or ur fiancee to swear if u are the only one she sleeping wit.

@Becky

The solution is for you to fok me ten hours a day until i black out, I have consulted the mami waters and papi waters, they have agreed, one you are ready to fok the great i_laugh for ten hours a day, then all your troubles will fly away, and for evidence, you must take a picture of your mouth over his erect dik and his fingers twisting your erect nipples, these will be shown to the mami and papi waters, once their diks are hard and their slits wet, then your trouble is solved.

well sometimes i wonder how we let out a lot of loose canons( women) into thisworld?

ur wedding is in a few weeks and u are going around fucking some1 else.

u my dear are a mess to womanhood.

i pity the guy that marries u, and i will tell u y the office dude will not marry u?

u are a potential cheat. u wud cheat on him also if he marries u. bitch.

Women,you always want to eat your cake and have it.I'm not surprised as this is not to peculiar to you at all,

i_laugh:

@Becky

The solution is for you to fok me ten hours a day until i black out, I have consulted the mami waters and papi waters, they have agreed, one you are ready to fok the great i_laugh for ten hours a day, then all your troubles will fly away, and for evidence, you must take a picture of your mouth over his erect dik and his fingers twisting your erect nipples, these will be shown to the mami and papi waters, once their diks are hard and their slits wet, then your trouble is solved.

WTF!!!!

Though I am a girl, i must say that we women, at times , are not very smart ( neither are the men, but that's another story). How many times do you see a man hanging up issues like this on a forum like Nairaland? No wonder women get called all sorts of foul names when it comes to romance and such. The only other thing I would like to say is that if you are old enough to get engaged, you have reached the age of reasoning. So you know what to do. What that guy feels for you is not love and you know it. Are you really willing to throw your engagement away for that opportunist? Thats what you have to decide.

wonderful . . . few weeks to your introduction and you are busy peddling that thing between your legs to other men? Even when you get married you wont stop. I only pity your husband . . .

@post
just by looking @ur post, I no u r a goner.!

becky,
i truly feel your pain cos i am in the same situation too,
just take it easy, avoid ur colleague,
"stolen water taste sweeter" if u were not engaged, i can bet that the dude would hardly bother you,
please try give a distanc between this dude and give ALL ATTENTION to your fiance.

Can we make one thing clear. If you post your cheating ways on here people will attack you. Dont start demanding no one is to abuse you or tell you off. Take the advice you need and get over the abuse you are being given.

I really dont know what you even want us to say. What you have done is a mean and wicked thing to your fiance. How would you feel if he was having sex with other woman just a few weeks to your wedding.

You need self control and self respect. This guy is a loser AFTER he screwed you to kingdom come he then finally confesses he has a 11yr relationship? I mean what the hell?

This is not love it is lust. This will wreck your relationship I really hope you are a good liar because how your future husband wont find out about this is beyond me. I think you should just confess and pray he forgives you

I just pray you do not give your husbnd to be any STD, because even after marriage you would obviously still be confused when the next guy with sweet tongue comes along I pray I do not meet a girl like you and have to raise children with cos for me the whole idea of marriage is to get the sex thing out of your system before commitment that's called maturity leave it for the ones behind you. I see a lot of old people who look at young ones and get insulted it's because these old people never really get it out of their system before commitment. Look have some serious fun using condoms of cause then when you get married trust me you would feel content.

@ Topic
What is wrong with you? Why would u do urself such a dis service and cheat on ur fiance, Get a grip on ur self and stay away from both guys so you can decide what exactly u want.
Stop the sex too, cos me thinks thats what keeps u going back. cos i find it hard to to believe its "love" cos he He doesnt even want u for keeps

@bitchy poster, u need advice, eh? O.k. You need 2engage urself in a ten-year (10years) dry fastin in order to make ur marriage a success. Failin to do so wil land u in2 a disastrous divorce. Because, ur union go be devil wey go join am. And what de devil joins together, any thin (includin man and animal) can put asunder.
You don invite devil enta ur marriage, nao! Yes! And na ashawo go put ur own asunder, cos u too be ashawo!
You just made me hate u!
TUFIA! "Spits at her face"!

uhhmmm

dis is reallyyy seriousss ohhhhhhhh

shakes head

you need aspirin and sleeping pills to get your head straight and oh! indocide will do the trick if the other one don't.k.

@ poster its a pity that u entagled urself in this mess but point of correction all women are not the same , am gettin married in a months time and i have such temptations coming my way i dont indulge in them cause i know its distraction for me. Becareful of wat you doin girl dont expect positive answer ferom people cause u messed up BIG TIME.  One question for you
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF ITS YOUR FIANCE IN THIS MESS?

What pisses me off the most is that you aren't even thinking about your Fiance. How would you feel if he was doing this to you. Women like you are malicious and selfish. You have no right to ask no one to abuse you becos u sure do deserve it. I am a woman and I soooo feel for ur fiance. You are only a few weeks away from getting married to the same man I am sure you have been professing your love to while sleeping with another man. You don't deserve a good man. Please leave ur fiance so he can find another woman worthy to be called a GOOD wife. Go to ur fling because that is what you should have. What you have done is despicable. I wish I knew the man you were about to get married to so I can tell him about your escapades. The next thing we will read is that you got married to the undetecting man, have 4 kids and 2 of them aren't his. Bull*shit.