Hello my fellow nairalanders. Pls advice. I have been married for almost 2 years now. I married a man i love but unfortunately i married one who does not return the love. I was financially ok when i was single and he was actually squatting with a friend, i believed all will be well and went ahead with the marriage. 5 months into the marriage i was still carrying all the expenses, feeding, paying rent etc. He got an offer to travel to Spain. He was only sent an IV so I foot all the bills. He got repatriated and came back but he still had valid visa so I still played for the second trip. After one year of being apart I managed to fund my own trip down there to make the marriage work. But since I got here things have not been the same again, I have not been able to get work cos i dont have a permit yet. He is still hustling also but he treats me with disrespect, he hits me, calls me degrading names like " fool" etc wen I tell him about planing for future and saving he asks me if I am the one bringing the money. Its so bad that I beg him for sex. If he sees my cloth on the floor he steps on it. I have lost all forms of self esteem. I have had 2 miscarriages and he said i was the one licking the babies out. Wen I told him that I was adviced by a health care provider to abstain from sex in the early weeks of pregnancy that's when he will want to have sex and he is always forceful. But thank God am pregnant again and it has passed first trimester successfully but I can't bear the heartache anymore. I told him we need to talk that am not happy with how the marriage is going. He said he is not happy too, I told him maybe we need some time apart he said better cos him too is tired. Presently now am stuck in Spain but someone told me I can apply to be deported. Is it wise for me? I am concerned for the baby in my womb as going to Nigeria means I am starting afresh. Pls advice

shadowprime:
Hello my fellow nairalanders. Pls advice. I have been married for almost 2 years now. I married a man i love but unfortunately i married one who does not return the love. I was financially ok when i was single and he was actually squatting with a friend, i believed all will be well and went ahead with the marriage. 5 months into the marriage i was still carrying all the expenses, feeding, paying rent etc. He got an offer to travel to Spain. He was only sent an IV so I foot all the bills. He got repatriated and came back but he still had valid visa so I still played for the second trip. After one year of being apart I managed to fund my own trip down there to make the marriage work. But since I got here things have not been the same again, I have not been able to get work cos i dont have a permit yet. He is still hustling also but he treats me with disrespect, he hits me, calls me degrading names like " fool" etc wen I tell him about planing for future and saving he asks me if I am the one bringing the money. Its so bad that I beg him for sex. If he sees my cloth on the floor he steps on it. I have lost all forms of self esteem. I have had 2 miscarriages and he said i was the one licking the babies out. Wen I told him that I was adviced by a health care provider to abstain from sex in the early weeks of pregnancy that's when he will want to have sex and he is always forceful. But thank God am pregnant again and it has passed first trimester successfully but I can't bear the heartache anymore. I told him we need to talk that am not happy with how the marriage is going. He said he is not happy too, I told him maybe we need some time apart he said better cos him too is tired. Presently now am stuck in Spain but someone told me I can apply to be deported. Is it wise for me? I am concerned for the baby in my womb as going to Nigeria means I am starting afresh. Pls advice

https://www.nairaland.com/1991042/slept-brothers-wife

The thread above should be enough to feed your shameless attention seeking. Cheers

Tough times don't last but tough people do. There are elements of desperation and insecurity on your part. He has lack of zeal for a home /family.
Your zeal is normal because any woman in your shoes will behave likewise.
Pls don't accept living apart because I smell divorce in disguise. Which ever way don't accept deportation, look for a humble apartment in a close village there and live there until you deliver Pls. The spirit of failure that has been with him still hanging around him. And has gradually getting to you, resist the urge to step backward Pls.

okenwa:
Tough times don't last but tough people do. There are elements of desperation and insecurity on your part. He has lack of zeal for a home /family.
Your zeal is normal because any woman in your shoes will behave likewise.
Pls don't accept living apart because I smell divorce in disguise. Which ever way don't accept deportation, look for a humble apartment in a close village there and live there until you deliver Pls. The spirit of failure that has been with him still hanging around him. And has gradually getting to you, resist the urge to step backward Pls.

Good advice but I don't agreed for dem not to seperate......she should jst manage for a while till she cn get a work permit. Pending when she put to bed, don't cum back to nigeria until after the child is born there in Spain...and try to ensure him pending wen u get a work permit/accommodation den u can dump is sooorry ass. Don't leave without hav a place to go

and u call this love.does this love still exist

People are seriously answering this bloke.

Gboliwe:


https://www.nairaland.com/1991042/slept-brothers-wife

The thread above should be enough to feed your shameless attention seeking. Cheers

Epic reply

please run before your name will have the title of r.i.p. divorce here should not be negotiable but a neccessity and please if you can work hard here in nigeria to send a man abroad twice and even get yourself there, i do not see what is stopping you from suceeding over there. you only need to discover the strong woman again

If u leave that country make sure d f.cka leaves as well.


Don't pack ur things anywhere, na ur money carry d idiot enta spain now he wants to play a fast one.

Let him understand that u are ready to scatter everything if does not co-ordinate.

Marriage is meant to be a parnership, if a party breaches aggrement there shud be some form of punishment.

#kapish

Na for this guy you de thank God Se you carry bele for? Well done. First class mumu. Osheee! Iya koko.

kids everywhere and jobless at that,

Gboliwe:


https://www.nairaland.com/1991042/slept-brothers-wife

The thread above should be enough to feed your shameless attention seeking. Cheers

Last year he was a guy.
This year she's a babe

story tellers. Enle o

Op,how was your sex change op?

Idowuogbo:
Op,how was your sex change op?

The Op represented her brother in law she slept with last year and now she is truly representing herself.

Truth is, that marriage can't work. You slept with your husband's brother and you think he won't know someday?

Come back and turn over a new leaf.