While watching a Nollywood movie (Reloaded), one of the actresses in the movie asked the question raised as the headliner of this thread. Stating her own line of thoughts on the matter.

I thereafter asked myself, is it until when I sleep with another woman, that I am actually cheating on my woman? What of, when I focus my attention and thoughts on some other emotional matters other than my partner, am I not cheating on my woman? A simple cursory glance of the definition of cheating defines it as:

Cheating:
[list]
[li]Informal. to be sexually unfaithful [/li]
[li]to practice fraud or deceit[/li]
[li]a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds[/li][/list]

Therefore, how do you define your own cheating? Either as a male gender or a female gender. Must cheating only be viewed from the angle of sexual deceit in a relationship? Are there any other forms or variations to cheating?

Please air your views.

Well,i think its when you let what should be for your g/f be for another girl.and that includes the lust on your mind,your hrt and all o' that.

~ Cheating to me is simply deprivation and/or deceit by my partner. ~ Sex doesn't necessarily needs to be involved. ~

Pataki:

While watching a Nollywood movie (Reloaded), one of the actresses in the movie asked the question raised as the headliner of this thread. Stating her own line of thoughts on the matter.

I thereafter asked myself, is it until when I sleep with another woman, that I am actually cheating on my woman? What of, when I focus my attention and thoughts on some other emotional matters other than my partner, am I not cheating on my woman? A simple cursory glance of the definition of cheating defines it as:

Cheating:
[list]
[li]Informal. to be sexually unfaithful [/li]
[li]to practice fraud or deceit[/li]
[li]a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds[/li][/list]

Therefore, how do you define your own cheating? Either as a male gender or a female gender. Must cheating only be viewed from the angle of sexual deceit in a relationship? Are there any other forms or variations to cheating?

Please air your views.

I too saw the movie. . . .nice movie all around i tell ya. . . . .

Well. . . .I believe cheating actually varies from person to person, gender, and the individual level of security, or lack there of!!.

I term it simply as any form of betrayal of any sort in a monogamous relationship, which sits heavily on ur conscience there after!!

Every single relationship should essentially be based on basic trust between the two partners,. . . . . . . . .

which assures that when conflicts come up and resolutions are put into play, each person will do as promised, . . . . . .

it could range from something as trivial as telling anutha female/male (i'm talking opposite gender now) the shortcomings in ur relationship,

to actually sleeping with someone else aside from ur partner!!. . . . . . .At this point the level of trust has been sabotaged. . . .

And several relationships are unable to bounce back from such!!

Cheating is anything that U do to someone else that U wont do in the presence of your partner.

@ poster

and to think this question have been rining in ma mind for quite some times now

was actually thinkin of startin a thread with this topic.


uhhmm, still waiting to read more reply

Cheating to me is simply when you give somethings to someone else that is meant to be for your partner:

You can emotionally cheat i.e. feeling deeply for someone else, having them on your mind, fantasising about them etc, it can often lead to emotional, spiritual and mental neglect from your other half, which can then lead to physical cheating.

If my man is not communicating with me as much, opening up to me as much etc all because there is someone else on his mind, then hes cheating on me; because thereafter, anything else can happen.

Interesting to read various responses to the question. On the general, it seems everyone agrees to cheating, goes beyond sex with your partner. Which arguably, is true. However, does one tell his/her partner when found to be cheating in whatever form? Is every form of cheating expected to lead to a break-up? How best can emotional cheating be handled?

to me cheating is when u do what u cant do in the presence of the person concerned .
you dont have to have sex or talk but action can also be seen as cheating.

Pataki:

Interesting to read various responses to the question. On the general, it seems everyone agrees to cheating, goes beyond sex with your partner. Which arguably, is true. However, does one tell his/her partner when found to be cheating in whatever form? Is every form of cheating expected to lead to a break-up? How best can emotional cheating be handled?

No, not every form of cheating will lead to a break up, but it may indeed change the dynamics of the relationship (if exposed), and I believe the best way to handle emotional cheating needs to be dealt with by the person who is has
committed the emotional cheating!

Secretz:

No, not every form of cheating will lead to a break up, but it may indeed change the dynamics of the relationship (if exposed), and I believe the best way to handle emotional cheating needs to be dealt with by the person who is has
committed  the emotional cheating! 

See this is one of the problems. Why should a form of cheating change the dynamics of the relationship? Agreed that there are various forms of cheating. . . . . . could either of partners not as well reason that at various point in times, they have committed one form of cheating?

In my opinion, I think the fundamental concept of cheating leading to changes in relationship dynamics is really flawed!

kanayo74:

to me cheating is  when u do what u cant do in the presence of the person concerned .
you dont have to have sex or talk but action can also be seen as cheating.

Do you have examples to such actions that could be portrayed as cheating? I would be extremely delighted to have you cite examples or possibly references.

pataki emotional cheating can be handle by being
truthful
try not to be too emotionally involved or attached in the things u cant do openly.
and most of all trying to clear thoughts that makes ur heart skip

kanayo74:

pataki emotional cheating can be handle by being
truthful
try not to be too emotionally involved or attached in the things u cant do openly.
and most of all trying to clear thoughts that makes ur heart skip

Should emotional cheating be handled personally or with your partner? Would it not change the dynamics of your relationship?

I think, emotional cheating is best handled personally. It keeps the sanity of your relationship, but then again, it depends on the person though.

Pataki:

See this is one of the problems. Why should a form of cheating change the dynamics of the relationship? Agreed that there are various forms of cheating. . . . . . could either of partners not as well reason that at various point in times, they have committed one form of cheating?

In my opinion, I think the fundamental concept of cheating leading to changes in relationship dynamics is really flawed!
Do you have examples to such actions that could be portrayed as chaeating? I would be extremely delighted to have you cite examples or possibly references.

Ok, I understand what you're saying, but any form of cheating if exposed will naturally  change the dynamics of a relationship, however, I believe this should only be temporary! If you decide to stay with the cheater in question whatever kind of cheating it is then you have agreed to move on from it, but!!! It will still change the dynamics of the relationship and I personally believe it should only change temporarily. I mean come on, if I found out my man cheated today, and I forgave him next week, atleast for some weeks etc, things wont be the same, but I will most CERTAINLY NOT allow it to drag!!! Most importantly being honest and truthful especially with reference to emotional cheating is the way!

It should ULTIMATELY change the dynaimcs for the better!  

uhmm

interesting

you are a cheat,only if u are caught.

Secretz:

Ok, I understand what you're saying, but any form of cheating if exposed will naturally  change the dynamics of a relationship, however, I believe this should only be temporary! If you decide to stay with the cheater in question whatever kind of cheating it is then you have agreed to move on from it, but!!! It will still change the dynamics of the relationship and I personally believe it should only change temporarily. I mean come on, if I found out my man cheated today, and I forgave him next week, atleast for some weeks etc, things wont be the same, but I will most CERTAINLY NOT allow it to drag!!! Most importantly being honest and truthful especially with reference to emotional cheating is the way!

It should ULTIMATELY change the dynaimcs for the better!  

Hmmmmm! I think you are right here. But do you truly believe in the notion every form of cheating should and must be relayed to one's partner?

If we are indeed to be sincere to ourselves, any form of cheating once discovered, never restores the relationship back to its original bliss.

maray:

you are a cheat,only if u are caught.

WOW!!!! I love this!

Pataki:

Should emotional cheating be handled personally or with your partner? Would it not change the dynamics of your relationship?

I think, emotional cheating is best handled personally. It keeps the sanity of your relationship, but then again, it depends on the person though.

Think it should be dealt with personally, until you feel  or believe it maybe getting out of hand or result in physical cheating, then being truthful and honest about it to your partner is the way!!  

No I do not believe every form of cheating should be relayed to your partner, this i getting me thinking Pataki, I have a thread to post in mind,

maray:

you are a cheat,only if u are caught.

lol funny chic! But I suppose your conscience will catch you, if you have one that is,

Secretz:

Think it should be dealt with personally, until you feel  or believe it maybe getting out of hand or result in physical cheating, then being truthful and honest about it to your partner is the way!!  

No I do not believe every form of cheating should be relayed to your partner, this i getting me thinking Pataki, I have a thread to post in mind,

The first paragraph is very true. Please post the thread as you intended to.

emotional cheating should not be handled alone in my own opinion.
this is because the person involved will never change since he believes it can be handled alone.
by so doing he gets too deep and gets to a point of no return which leads to the destruction of a relationship.
the best way out is to talk about it.
it helps

kanayo74:

emotional cheating should not be handled alone in  my own opinion.
this is because the person involved will never change since he believes it can be handled alone.
by so doing he gets too deep and gets to a point of no return which leads to the destruction of a relationship.
the best way out is to talk about it.
it helps 

Hmmm, does anyone have a counter argument to what you have stated here? I believe Secretz stated this:

Secretz:

Think it should be dealt with personally, until you feel  or believe it maybe getting out of hand or result in physical cheating, then being truthful and honest about it to your partner is the way!!  

cheatin is cheatin wen u start wishin or imagin doin tins with sum1 who is nt ur partner.hey,when u admire a beautiful person dats nt cheatin.

@ secrez,you are only bad if you are caught so that makes me a good girl,RIGHT

maray:

@ secrez,you are only bad if you are caught so that makes me a good girl,RIGHT

YES o!! you are a very very good girl! (naughty girl) lol.

maray
doing the wrong thing doesnt make u smart.
u dont have to wait until u are caught before u believe that what u are doing is wrong.
so please save your self postponed agony by doing the right thing.
being sincere helps a lot and make u principled and helps u cos u dont have to remember something to check how truthful u are

cheating na cheating jare

cheating is cheating wen u cheat!

lady bam:

cheating is cheating wen u cheat!

You have blown me away with your peerless intelligence. *Rolls Eyes*

I agree with secretz. . . 'cheating' is a very vague word when actual boundaries such as sex or spending 'excessive' time together have not been breached. Simply thinking a lot about another woman might be termed 'cheating', but if that leads you to realise and pour more love and attention on your partner, is it cheating then?

As long as the cheating has not gotten 'out of hand' - sex, physical intimacy, excessive communication, it should be dealt with by the individual committing the cheating.

Sometimes a simple 'mistake' such as getting too close to someone else will do more harm than good if the other partner is involved, hence if your aim is to progress the relationship, such information should be kept from the partner - as long as it is fully resolved and unlikely to be a problem in future and will not be heard by the spouse later on.