Things to expect at a maternity home, especially in the delivery or labour arena(based on my personal experience).

I went to spend my holidays with my pregnant sister in Aba, Her hubby is a very busy bank official, his sister who stays with them had a job interview at Enugu and so that's how I stayed with my sister through an incredible 20+hrs labour period.

Like earlier stated, this list is based on my personal experience of over 20 hours painful labour. Enjoy...

* Pregnant women(in labour) might just be mistaken for crazy. They don't mind walking round the room unclad, a few don't care who is present. You will hear things like: yeah! Mummy ooo, Ahh! Chukwudi, ooh! I'm in pains ooo.

* They are prayer warriors(same goes for their carer). My sis was 'kabashing'. It's not unusual to hear: 'libra ba bosh', 'ka bosh ske muntele' e.t.c. The carer too is expected to be a clergy.

* Jesus must have many wives. With so many women screaming Jesus uuu!, Jesus uuu!! Jesus uuu!!!. You'll begin to wonder if he's responsible for their pregnancy.

* You'll get unclad with speed and alacrity. '...Nobody will see my unclothedness, except my husband', Wo! You'll open your Congo by yourself waa, when time reach, every...thing will be revealed, the fun part is that they'll ask your husband outta the room. Haha!

* There ain't no better singer than an expectant grandmother. [/b]Sincerely, Beyonce they learn work. Come see as all dem these mama dey throw chorus.
These women are so caring, they pray and sing before their daughter is delivered of the baby, after delivery they continue, but this time they do it shouting.
[b]
* You can't take away the pain. This is to the possessors of the JT that did the damage.Yes you can't take away the pain but you can ease it by staying with them esp if it is her first time. There is really no better time to show you care.

* Every child's first language is... IGBO!. Every baby's first cry is Uwa aaa uwa aaa... when translated it means 'this life, how ironic aiit? #Yimu.

* Crying is auspicious. When the baby cries, for the first time everybody rejoices at the cry of another.

* There'll be nothing like a mothers instinct(love). As weak as my sis was after the CS, each time she hears her baby's voice, you'll see this very weak lady stretching her hands towards the direction of the baby, that was one of the most memorable and touching moment.


* Women are natural carers. [/b]They still come to with their daughters when in labour. Great respect for women.

[b]* It's always worth it. Young woman if you are not ready, pls don't do, the thing can fit pain eeh. But at the end it's always worth.


* Mothers of 10 how did you do it? [/b]Seriously, how did they do it?


[b]They say to be forewarned is to be fore armed.
...Forewarning the carer. Incase you mistakenly find yourself caring for a pregnant woman in labour, adhere to the following:

* Wear only original and dark coloured cloth. This is very important esp if it's a first for the woman. Why? They will drag and pull anything they touch, my sis pulled my head, shirt, jean, she nearly pulled my JT, na god save me.

* Train hard and put on helmet. [/b]I meant it when I said TRAIN, but if you are caught unawares put on a HELMET. I know my sis wasn't angry with me, but I still got occasional slaps on the face and the head. Just imagine I made her angry before hand, I for dey wear P.O.P now.

[b]
* Be ready to rub waist(s). [/b]I rubbed not only my sis waist, I also rubbed that of a woman lying adjacent to her. Don't worry they will appreciate you later.


[b]* Tell her not to shout. [/b]Tell her to breath in and out through her mouth instead, for real, it make the pain more bareable.

[b]
* Caeserean session is no death sentence. [/b]If she's has been in labour for upto 12hrs, please consider CS, so you don't loose the woman or the baby. My sis baby was weak after CS but he is good now.

[b]* Complain about anything. [/b]If she complains about anything don't be shy to call the nurses after all you paid for their services. Don't assume!

[b]
* Complain about anything(baby). If the baby cries too much, complain!. If it doesn't cry, complain!. If the baby doesn't breath well, complain!. Be very observant of the baby.


In conclusion, the maternity clinic is a place of agony and pains, then joy and happiness at last. Children are a beautiful thing and a miracle. Now I feel greater pain for a woman who lose her child.

I disturbed the nurses eeh, they initially thought she was my wife, because of how much I cared. Now I'm still being appreciated by the staffs and other families at the maternity home.

I have always loved children, but now I have more respect for the process through which they come to us.

The experience wasn't pleasant in any sense, but if I had to do it all over again for my loved ones, I will.

God bless my mother and every other mom and mom to be. Big ups.

Have you experienced labour before? Then let's read your story.

*modified*
I showed this thread to my sis... and it was mixed emotions, she laughed and then she cried.

Cc: Lalasticlala, Ishilove, Godwin10

God is the greatest

Awwwwww!

Every man especially the die hard misogynist should read this.

Haha, hilarious esp. the helmet part

you're on a long thing if you expect them here


reminds me of my day too. I opened the thing.i cared less who was looking at me

that pain will make you loose every sense of inhibition and care. In fact nothing wey I no pull that day

Gboliwe:
Awwwwww!

Every man especially the die hard misogynist should read this.

Gboliwe:
Awwwwww!

Every man especially the die hard misogynist should read this.

are there really people like dat

Haywhymido:
are there really people like dat

Ofcourse yes! So many roaming the internet.

SAMBARRY:


you're on a long thing if you expect them here


reminds me of my day too. I opened the thing.i cared less who was looking at me

that pain will make you loose every sense of inhibition and care. In fact nothing wey I no pull that day

They can form blind all they want but the truth remains that women are the awesomest of God's creation

Gboliwe:


They can form blind all they want but the truth remains that women are the awesomest of God's creation

hahaha like they'll admit it

God bless all women and those that hold them dear to their hearts

Gboliwe:


Ofcourse yes! So many roaming the internet.

those hate filled comments u read here are because of the stress n hard luck such individuals are going thru in the real world. They see faceless forum as a place to let out their pains. Av u ever wonder why u dont come across such people in real life. Just, as u said it "roaming the internet". My advice to the populace : we shd jst stop attaching much to such comments

good observations. but this ur title, " my labour experience" makes it seem like u were the one in labour

angelTI:



God bless all women and those that hold them dear to their hearts

That's me. I stood for several hours and didn't sleep throughout the night plus seeing my lovely sis in pain was not funny. Thank God tho.

aflyingbird:
good observations. but this ur title, " my labour experience" makes it seem like u were the one in labour

Nne it was me ooo. My belle no just big ni

SAMBARRY:


you're on a long thing if you expect them here


reminds me of my day too. I opened the thing.i cared less who was looking at me

that pain will make you loose every sense of inhibition and care. In fact nothing wey I no pull that day

Ooh first hand experience. You need to see as I dey rub anoda men wives waists

I remember one of my ogas while she was in labour. She and her husband are medical doctors by the way. This woman started running around the labour room stark naked and the husband was running after her with a wrapper to cover herself. If you see the way she was swearing for the man and warning him if he should dare come near her with that wrapper...
The poor guy seriously thought she had run mad!!!

Gboliwe:
Awwwwww!

Every man especially the die hard misogynist should read this.

Agreeded
And that's why this needs to hit FP, might have some humour but totally true. And more importantly from man's experience and perspective.

Oya make una call the MODs

lol
I can't believe I tried crying like a baby to check if its igbo

corisande:
lol
I can't believe I tried crying like a baby to check if its igbo

Na u are old now, your will sound different. May be Yoruba. Ye ye ye, egba mi o.

Graciousolo well done for staying with your sister and thank you for rubbing her lower back (very good).

My brother stayed with me (Le Husbs went "so proud of you" and ran away .

The breathing technique you described is actually the least effective. Try this one: breathe in through your nostrils and push it to your stomach, as if you're trying to inflate a balloon there and then breathe out slowly through your mouth. This is more relaxing and more importantly it slows your racing pulse and gets Oxygen to the baby.

Sit up during Labour. The biggest mistake is to lie down in one place, the pains Wil be felt more. Walk around, infact dance and twerk if you can (twerking is really good).

I didn't scream sha (Local Champion ! ) but the pain comes in waves (it starts slowly and then builds up and then slows down again). I was in dressing gowns (please get one and wear it backwards so hospital staff can access it easily without having to disprove you). I hated every time they inserted their fingers to check my dilation (it was uncomfortable ! ) but I didn't care if anyone saw down there (hian they see hundreds monthly. Just shave weekly during your last trimester so you won't be feeling too awkward).
My hopeless brother, when I asked if it was okay to hit in, flexed his muscles (he works out and is very ripped) and replied "I WILL hit you back and time it during one of your contractions so as to distract you from it"

Onegai:
Graciousolo

Thanks.
@the breathing technique, you definitely have a bera experience(after all na u carry the belle)

@Sitting when in labour. Never knew that, but sincerely I think it's the contractions that does major controlling.

@ur bro. I workout too, though i've not been working out for sometime, so I'm not 'ripped out', i'm athletic built. But my elder brother is really ripped.

You just seem interesting.

*modified*

Not all women shout. Women that shout are mainly first preg and women with complications.

Some women there will just go; woo woo and give birth.

Hahahs ain't u such a darling....
But seriously mothers of 5 plus ....
How did they do it?

That comment about Jesus was a little too sacrilegious for my taste....

MrsPhyno:
That comment about Jesus was a little too sacrilegious for my taste....

Noted.

What a funny thread ..fear eyaf catch me already..chaii..dis process isn't easy at all. Buh God will definitely see us tru

Wishing all women in d delivery room, a safe delivering.

pretydiva:
What a funny thread ..fear eyaf catch me already..chaii..dis process isn't easy at all. Buh God will definitely see us tru

Wishing all women in d delivery room, a safe delivering.

Don't fear u hia, It'll be as smooth as ur dp.

Aww, so sweet.

I have seen women in labour too, not easy at all, I even cried with a few but when the babies came, so joyous.

Funny OP: Beyonce dey learn work

My labor experience

They still call me DO SOMETHING
All the time I was there after birth
I was squirting
Found the fluid flowing

My labor was drama
Doc do something
I can't see again
I won't do it again oooo
Nooooooo
Never
Doctor oo
Otijabo ooooo