andromida:


He is selfish because he wants to quit a marriage because she is not performing MouthAction. Its just like any other differences in a marriage and he did marry a woman like her he had chances to have married women who were open to orals and whatever.

What deal? He can equally make adjustments and let go of oral. If he loves her he can even let go of oral until further notice not let go of the whole marriage because of MouthAction.

You say it's just like any other differences in marriage, yet fail to realise that these differences is why there's such a thing as 'failed marriages', did you not see the part about her agreeing to be down for what he likes? I don't get what you mean by " a woman like her" what kind of a woman is she? Are you saying because a person doesn't want sex till married, means there are certain sexual acts he/she can't perform?

The deal is that she said she is open to whatever he wants, why can't she try to live up to that? Why should he be the one to adjust and let go of what he wants entirely? Why can't she make an effort? Is she the only one deserving of love? Doesn't he deserve her adjusting because she loves him too?

It's very selfish and unreasonable to use emotional blackmail by playing the "if he loves her" card.

Her excuse is even what's annoying, like it's written somewhere in the bible that a woman shouldn't please her hubby via bj. If he decides to quit, it's because this woman is simply irrational.

Let's be objective please.

They are both selfish and immature

when a man marries an harlot, don't expect a simple and quiet sex life.
if a man marries a church-going no sex before marriage woman, don't expect an experienced sex life, though she might adjust with time to please you.
If you divorce and marry an experienced and good sex machine, don't complain if her ex pays her visits.

freecocoa:
You say it's just like any other differences in marriage, yet fail to realise that these differences is why there's such a thing as 'failed marriages', did you not see the part about her agreeing to be down for what he likes? I don't get what you mean by " a woman like her" what kind of a woman is she? Are you saying because a person doesn't want sex till married, means there are certain sexual acts he/she can't perform?

The deal is that she said she is open to whatever he wants, why can't she try to live up to that? Why should he be the one to adjust and let go of what he wants entirely? Why can't she make an effort? Is she the only one deserving of love? Doesn't he deserve her adjusting because she loves him too?

It's very selfish and unreasonable to use emotional blackmail by playing the "if he loves her" card.

Her excuse is even what's annoying, like it's written somewhere in the bible that a woman shouldn't please her hubby via bj. If he decides to quit, it's because this woman is simply irrational.

Let's be objective please.

A woman like her means a woman whose idea about sexual acts is limited so yes there are certain acts she cannot or will be unwilling to perform not to spite her husband but because she is not on board with such acts.

She is open to whatever,whatever in her opinion may not have included oral because of her limited idea of sexual acts.

I am not throwing the if he loves her card you said "when we love someone we should be able to make adjustments" hence I said if he loves her he can let go of oral until further notice.

They are both deserving of love but if MouthAction is his priority in marriage and he'd rather divorce her than let it go or patiently get her on board then I maintain he is selfish looking out for only his own interests in the marriage and the interests he is looking out for does not damage him in any way unless he cannot live without MouthAction lol then he should have told her that before getting married or choose a woman more suitable to his desires but he chose her because of other qualities.

I still don't think she is irrational. This may be a big adjustment for her and he may need to be very very patient.

In a perfect world, we'd all get married to the spouse of our dreams and have perfect lives and marriages but ours is an imperfect world with imperfect beings.

If a woman/man has limited knowledge in sexual affairs, the best way to break them out of that mould isn't in suddenly demanding for what you want on bed; it is in communication.

While courting, probe (ask,talk) to know his/her limits.

The man should talk to his wife, get to know her fears. This is why I disagree with those that feel women should be more spiritual than men. Yes, a woman should be spiritual but her husband better be more spiritual. Women are given to emotions, sentiments and a dash of gullibility. If her husband isn't more spiritual, she is going to be listening to more of what her pastor says than what her husband says.

Now, every kind of spouse one picks has an advantage and disadvantage too; spiritual, lightly spiritual, atheist, free thinker etc. That is why you should pick that which will be of more advantage to YOU and not to the society.
It is not uncommon to see spiritual spouses (men or women) being uncomfortable with sexual styles that do not conform with what they had been told and unfortunately it is only few that will adapt.

So, tell your brother; patience and constant communication is the key. Going outside will not solve the problem, he will still be utterly dissatisfied and resentful neither will breaking up the marriage help for surely, there will still arise problems that will sorely test either of them; will they break it off then?

freecocoa:
You say it's just like any other differences in marriage, yet fail to realise that these differences is why there's such a thing as 'failed marriages', did you not see the part about her agreeing to be down for what he likes? I don't get what you mean by " a woman like her" what kind of a woman is she? Are you saying because a person doesn't want sex till married, means there are certain sexual acts he/she can't perform?

The deal is that she said she is open to whatever he wants, why can't she try to live up to that? Why should he be the one to adjust and let go of what he wants entirely? Why can't she make an effort? Is she the only one deserving of love? Doesn't he deserve her adjusting because she loves him too?

It's very selfish and unreasonable to use emotional blackmail by playing the "if he loves her" card.

Her excuse is even what's annoying, like it's written somewhere in the bible that a woman shouldn't please her hubby via bj. If he decides to quit, it's because this woman is simply irrational.

Let's be objective please.

Granted that her reason maybe illogical but he is the one being unreasonable. He'll get a divorce because he doesn't get head? That is as unreasonable as it gets. That a person is not comfortable with doing a "non-essential" deed is the most unreasonable reason to seek out a divorce or even talk about it. People make marriage seem like an onerous task with this kind of attitude, that every little disagreement is ragnarok.

Sermwell:
My married younger brother who happens to be very close to me confided in me that ever since his wedding, his wife hasn't been able to satisfy him in bed atall. And that she blatantly refused to give him a head( s**k his manhood) and has always refused to allow him do same to her. Her reasons were that she doesn't find it permissible due to her religious beliefs. The wife happens to be a very devoted christain but my brothers pain is that she's depriving him of his matrimonial bliss after waiting for her all this years due to no sex till marriage thingy.
Should he quit or ...

hmmmmmm


some ladies and their mumu religious believe. what makes her think dt anything she does inside her home is a sin

LordReed:


Granted that her reason maybe illogical but he is the one being unreasonable. He'll get a divorce because he doesn't get head? That is as unreasonable as it gets. That a person is not comfortable with doing a "non-essential" deed is the most unreasonable reason to seek out a divorce or even talk about it. People make marriage seem like an onerous task with this kind of attitude, that every little disagreement is ragnarok.

I'm not in support of wanting to get a divorce, plus the OP only said he's complaining, I didn't get that he wants to quit because of this, the OP's the one asking if he should quit.

Again, I think it's unfair to label the deed inessential, might be essential to the guy, you don't know if that's what gets him going, at best, they both try to work something out. The woman is using religion as an excuse when it isn't, that's what I have a problem with.

andromida:


A woman like her means a woman whose idea about sexual acts is limited so yes there are certain acts she cannot or will be unwilling to perform not to spite her husband but because she is not on board with such acts.

She is open to whatever,whatever in her opinion may not have included oral because of her limited idea of sexual acts.

I am not throwing the if he loves her card you said "when we love someone we should be able to make adjustments" hence I said if he loves her he can let go of oral until further notice.

They are both deserving of love but if MouthAction is his priority in marriage and he'd rather divorce her than let it go or patiently get her on board then I maintain he is selfish looking out for only his own interests in the marriage and the interests he is looking out for does not damage him in any way unless he cannot live without MouthAction lol then he should have told her that before getting married or choose a woman more suitable to his desires but he chose her because of other qualities.

I still don't think she is irrational. This may be a big adjustment for her and he may need to be very very patient.

I'd like to think we both know the meaning of "whatever" and in this case, oral is like the most common on the list of whatever, so I don't really understand how that can't be included in her opinion.

Saying he should let go till "further notice" is not fair, he will be the only one making the adjustment as further notice can mean forever, so that's not acceptable.

According to the OP, the man confided in him, complaining that he isn't being satisfied, I didn't read that he already wants to divorce her, plus you don't even know that the woman is going to come on board, I believe you do have an insight on how people can hold on so tightly to some beliefs especially as regards religion, this is even the area I really have an issue with, why use religion as an excuse when that's not even in the bible? This here is why I think the woman is very irrational.


He did tell her about it according to the OP but she said they can do 'whatever' after marriage, so how is he to know she wouldn't be up to it? Sweety we can't be sure why he chose her o, I've seen enough with some marriages to know people are very crazy and we all really want different things.

Sermwell:
My married younger brother who happens to be very close to me confided in me that ever since his wedding, his wife hasn't been able to satisfy him in bed atall. And that she blatantly refused to give him a head( s**k his manhood) and has always refused to allow him do same to her. Her reasons were that she doesn't find it permissible due to her religious beliefs. The wife happens to be a very devoted christain but my brothers pain is that she's depriving him of his matrimonial bliss after waiting for her all this years due to no sex till marriage thingy.
Should he quit or ...

When you marry a conc christian and expect her to turn to a porn star .

Let your friend continue with wan king and watching porn . He should focus on missionary position and leave the woman alone with his fantasies .

Those fantasies are evil in God's eye.
No be so dem talk am?

Story for the gods jare.

vfactor:



The problem is not satisfaction. Its selfishness! Must he be given head to be satisfied? Especially when his partner is not inclined to do so?

Is that enough reason for divorce? He should focus on the reason he married her and stop being selfish. At least she's not denying him sex. The next thing u know he's asking for anals and spewing on her face

If he quits, and he marry a second wife and the second wife still refuse him the same, he will quit again ?

Sunexy:
We need more views on dis o

Cc: lalasticlala

FrontPage pls

if you read this story you go vex more
https://www.nairaland.com/2628418/evil-mother-inlaw

So u will die without bj? ;DD
Foolish man. Divorce naaa..

Sermwell:
My married younger brother who happens to be very close to me confided in me that ever since his wedding, his wife hasn't been able to satisfy him in bed atall. And that she blatantly refused to give him a head( s**k his manhood) and has always refused to allow him do same to her. Her reasons were that she doesn't find it permissible due to her religious beliefs. The wife happens to be a very devoted christain but my brothers pain is that she's depriving him of his matrimonial bliss after waiting for her all this years due to no sex till marriage thingy.
Should he quit or ...

Get them these books. 'Holy Sex' by Michael and Debbie Pearl. Also, 'The Act of Marriage' by Tim LaHaye.

They should read and learn.