First of all, I need us to understand what this topic is about. Infidelity is not peculiar to one gender. So, any response to this topic should not be one-sided. I have a feeling that, upon sighting this topic, readers, especially women, will immediately conclude that it’s about men. Women, too are known to have cheated, are cheating or are about cheating on their husbands. I agree, though that in terms of ratio, men are more in this ‘’game’’ than women.

Now, is there really a positive side to infidelity? Oh, yes. In fact, I can take it further to say that divorce, too has positive sides to it, depending on circumstances leading to divorce. Didn’t a pastor once say that God does not hate the divorcee, but divorce itself? Of course, how can God hate the divorcee whose marriage is, for want of a better description, hell on earth? Isn’t it better to get the hell out of that marriage before something fatal happens? Anyway, this topic is not about divorce. It’s about extra marital affairs and how it can jolly well be the saving grace of your marriage.

Infidelity, to start with, is an indication that there is marital problem. Am not talking about those who have been condemned to cheating, marital problem or no marital problem. Those ones have been sentenced to permanent infidelity. Am talking about the ones whose reason for cheating is their own spouses. For instance, if your emotional needs are not met, won’t you seek for it somewhere? If someone out there is offering you love and happiness, something that no longer exists in your matrimonial home, won’t you gladly take it?

I know everybody frowns at infidelity, to the extent that they overlook the positive side to it. I mean, if you find happiness and love through infidelity, is that not a positive side to infidelity? How about the wife who has not been giving her husband peace of mind at home. But upon finding out that her husband has been getting that peace of mind from another lady, she turned a new leaf. And the husband eventually quit his relationship with the other woman. Has infidelity not saved that marriage?

Consider also the man who was cheating on his wife and didn’t care a hoot if his wife knew. Guess how the man stopped his reckless philandering? The wife too started cheating on him. He found out and raised hell. Family meeting was called where he was tongue lashed and blamed for what happened. Didn’t he start it all? He stopped seeing his many mistresses and normalcy returned to their once turbulent marriage. That is another plus for infidelity. The wife had to do a ‘’tit for tat’’, that is cheat on her cheating husband before sanity could prevail in their marriage.

This reminds me of a man who has been eyeing his secretary, thinking she would be a better lay than his wife. When he eventually had his way with her, he found out, to his chagrin, that she couldn’t even hold a candle to his wife in that area. Now, if not for infidelity, that man wouldn’t know he has a gold medalist at home, if you know what I mean.

So, from the foregoing, would you agree with me that there are indeed some positive sides to extra marital affairs?

i think the only positive (if you want to call it that) is the buzz you get from the humping or whatever the affair comes with.

ie for most men. For women, its mainly the economic factor or the satisfaction of knowing you're pulling a fast one on your fellow woman by humping her man.


in addition, if there were no enjoyment, there would be no consumers.


some people would even prefer to "chop and quench" to "dont chop and dont quench".

[img]http://cf.chucklesnetwork.agj.co/items/6/3/3/8/4/in-a-secret-relationship-even-his-lover-doesnt-know-about-it.jpg[/img]

OP, I really appreciate it that you are one of the few people around here who are unbiased when it comes to male and female infidelity and I love that you made it clear right in the first paragraph.

To be honest, I have also thought of what you have talked about here. I have even heard of cases, in which a marriage was saved because one of the partners cheated. It sounds illogical but it does happen.

I have even thought of the people who are rather polygamous, men and women, and I have even considered how an affair could bring back the spark to a marriage and revive the passion or solve other problems that you have mentioned.

I have thought of it without any emotions and sentiments.

The result of my pondering is, that no matter what good sides there MAY be to infidelity (it may also have the opposite effect, hurt feelings, divorce etc), there is a MAJOR problem. The problem are HEALTH ISSUES. There are just too many STDs.

I don't know how people in open marriages cope with this problem but I think it's very risky.

I often come across articles about marital problems in Psychology & Psychological Research International Journal. The recent study is available in a pdf version by Medwin Publishers: Infidelity in Marital Relationships.
One more interesting point was suggested by Minako Maykovich in the article: Attitudes vs behavior in extramarital sexual relations.
Medwin Publishers: Infidelity in Marital Relationships types, attitudes, demography factors, predictors, and effects, Manoochehr Taghi Pour to_hire writer_pdf

What a car! This is awesome. I love Lamborghini. I wish I had such one. I decided to write a gap year essay to share my personal experience. If you are interested in it, contact me. I will share it with you.

The best thing to do for you OP is to summon the Nairaland Family Section Prayer warriors to flood your thread. They will remind you of the 5th or was it 6th commandment.?. "thou shall not commit adultery"

Then u will tell them how you can work your way out of that .. U even quoted a scripture about God hating divorce... I just feel sorry for u when the GOs, mama GOs and pickin GOs catch u.. They will use u for all the sermon they haven't preached all this lock down..
By the time they are through with u, u might be forced to be baptised here online

The reasons you mentioned make absolutely no sense.

If you need people to justify your waywardness, No. You are at the wrong place.