Ever since I pledged my emotional sincerity to a single damsel, I had forever been disenjoying the velocity of rapturous buttocks until I decided to look out of my window recently. Fellas, I was enraptured by one Himalaya this lately. What weapons captured in this bootillicious arena, my curiosity has been so impatient to unravel.
Honestly, the tensions in my body systems when I saw this mountain of fire could best be compared to that of Jonathan's when the Kano presidential election results were about to be announced, panting uncontrollably to hear the result aired. It is understandable if God is partial in building some hills as gigantic as this, but what left me perpetually discombobulated is the onionated style this thing is wielded with. Call it a duvet, you are kuku not wrong, the size of this backyard will render even a known lexicographer linguistically impotent.
As a curious student ready to spread the tentacles of my experience, all other factors I always look for in a 'book' before 'reading' escaped through the porous window of my helpless mind. What a pity! Candidly, only the sideview of it is solely enough to sparkle one's unquenchable curiosity. As the owner of this factory advanced with a beautiful catwalk from observable distance, looking for whatever cab available to journey along God-knows destination, my mouth burst into the rendition of a powerful prayer point saying " Baba God, I need you to disallow that taxi from carrying my potential prey ". God could be funny though, how could He not have answered a prayer of this importance at this very time. Even if He decides to punish my intentional negligence of weekly contributions we call tithes, shouldn't He have done that in some other occasions!!! Back to business anyway, all odds regardless, I still remained stubborn looking for every presentable opportunity to gratify my urge. My efforts to distract the driver from carrying my 'customer' went pitifully abortive as the lady entered into the ark with no feeling of worry. How would she not anyway, she is kuku unaware of the mind-boggling emotional chaos she has ignited in the psyche of every man of my nature around just for her heavy duty.
After a deep sigh of regret, I asked myself: will any enemy of good things inhibit me from getting to this cannan? I muttered silently. At this time, only a very good student of Biology can explain why a part of my system was vehement in responding to that self-generated question of mine saying: No! What God has planned to join together, let no driver put asunder!
Seeing this magnificent pussy driven off by this loathing driver, I decided to make an unprepared trip to wherever destination she was headed to, after all, I could not attend to any other thing at the detriment of this Kilimanjaro, not even at this time when all the cells in my body have been numbed by this awesome scenario. Pronounce me lustful, I would not disagree, but be informed that the phenomenon called love is birthed by lust and obsession for you lust after him/her and become obsessed before you eventually say : I love you. No love is natural my brother.
My problem was compounded when I noticed the sluggishness of my driver whose urge to fill his rickety cab was second to none. Seriously, I became embattled. It took my co-passengers little or no effort to note that all was not well with me, not when you see the irregular rhythm my heart generated. 90 beats per minute. Moti fee ku. Honestly, only the lady sitting beside me at the back of the cab, whose buttocks were made of lower quantity than my target, will understand what it means to be unsuccessful after too much of efforts is exerted on a thing. All her efforts to seduce my attention were stagnatingly abortive and it is normal for anyone to guess the reason why: I've got bigger prey to catch! Buddies, I payed deaf attention to this helpless lady, wherever you are today, pls forgive my emotional impudence.
Lo and behold, my ever-functioning eyes caught the sight of this original belle who has alighted from the cab. How unfortunate I was. My hasteful decision to alight abruptly made the day an unforgettable experience in my life. The last #500 note with me was given out to the driver absentmindedly thinking it was #50, the driver zoomed off to teach me the lesson of my life. I didn't take note until I took three steps forward in the direction of this girl.
What a mixture of sorrowful enjoyment. I couldn't but wear laughter to bury my inner displeasure. But my mind kept telling me : Wale, you don enter last chance today. As I approached futher, apparently to move closer and take a better view, the frontal size of this baby which is a perfect description of that biblical cup overflown with "blessings", my system entered hibernation. Oh my God, the view filtered away all sense available in the walyntinho you know. Don't blame me, I am a spoiled brat you know.

2 be continued...

Watch out for episode TWO.

Comr. Oyedeji Luqman Adewale