prettythicksme:
I thank God for ur life say no b hiv/aids!

Kingsley1000:
hope u've treated yourself

donholy28:
Dix people no read d yeye post...op later talk say na fiction

prettythicksme:
U mean i should read the long post up there? never!i just read d topic den comment

donholy28:
Lol! so you re among d "Read Heading and Comment Crew"

espionagesavvy:
Guys, how I got syphilis and herpes.. Beware…
you see, I was a little bit jealous, early morning like this my guys will be sneaking girls off their rooms while I would be conserving my Vaseline, soap and olive oil ( I don’t romance with groundnut oil, I heard it is not good for the nuts and fertility from my guy Ibrahim, he is an expert when it comes to the sacred art of self exploration for sensual pleasure which some people has tried to tarnish by calling it the unworthy name masturbation). I lived with some notorious guys In my lodge, they kept tally, a kind of crude statistics of how many girls they banged, drawing crude lines on the blue wall, looking at the wall the clear frontrunner was Tunde, menh this guy is black, no brack, no charcoallic brrrrack but everynight he brought home a different girl, on rare occasions he brought two the same time. READERS, this guy brrrack, but he was as smooth as milk running down Nicky minajs butts when It comes to the catching punanis, he always bragged that the ability was passed on to him by his polygamous father from ogun state.
the close runner up was Amadi, from Abia state, he typically behaves like a bull in a china shop, he borrows a lot, he is stingy, if you tell him to give you ten naira for satchet water because you are with a thousand naira, he is going to look for the thousand naira change even trek third main land bridge because he would not let go of ten naira, he once boasted that the biggest amount he had ever spent on a girl was N370 and this amadi of a guy can kill goodluck jonathan with English, I overheard him telling a girl he was wooing that “ and the dog was purchasing me, I have to lurn inside de houz and rock de door” and that night he banged her, the same I discovered the hidden pleasure of mixing olive oil and Vaseline and instead of jerk, I massaged, it was gooood.
Amadi is a bastard,
the next evening he came home with one fair complexioned tall beautiful girl, bragged that he would pound the girl so hard that the girl would scream the whole night, I contemplated on travelling to avoid the hallowing experience of listening to the girls sound track, but I knew it would be self defeating, my mind would still imagine him pounding away, I did my best to make sweet love to myself, a disturbing thing to some fellas but to the Vaseline crew, mixing it with olive oil is a hybrid sage mode of self exploration and pleasure,,,,,and if you have not tried this, I will advice you to explore your sensual parts diligently.
the next morning amadi work up to an applause, even my landlady and landlord congratulated him on this feat of conquest, a whole branch of tally was given to him, this time around drawn by our landlady herself, her fat yamlike hand drawing walls on the wall, commemorating this feat of sexual victory, tunde protested…(my landlady looks like a rhino with the head of a gorilla, fat and ugly, simple).
landy, “fish na fish, there is nothing like big or small one”
tunde, this one na shark amadi catch, this one no be ordinary fish, no be normal tilapia, you no see the girl…, our land ladys fat mouth belched out these words,,,
“landy landy, I no gree oo, this one na ojoro , e no pure, na small thing this one use fine pass Angelina, and this one na amadis student, amadi dey teach am for school so na cheap victory…”
amadi stood there smiling sheeplishly at the board, clad except for his aba-igbo boxers and his big manhood very conspicuous, welding used tissue paper from the bangalee of last night, because of this guy I just no dey like igbo people again….(no bashing ooo by igbo e warriors)
I was green with envy, and I started contemplating suicide, their tallies were drawn big and bold like tribal marks on a Yoruba mans face or like the strechmarks running down the thighs into the dark ( as I will like to imagine, moist and bushy, whenever I peep into the open cleavage I see darkness, pitch darkness, so you will have to agree with me, that the darkness and obstruction to clear sight was due to the bushes) puni my Yoruba neighbour leaves open whenever she washes her clothe or wants fresh air..
well I have been hearing all soughts of gossip with my name in that compound, from that Daniel is homo, or that fear dey catch Daniel to toast woman, or that Daniel thing no dey work…. and other cheap rumours….bastards…..
to cut story short, I saw a girll, I liked her, I told amadi to help me with some lines, he simply responded that if I didn’t make any move on the girl,… that he was going to “catch the sheck”( with thick igbo accent) and “kally her home”.
I had to make my move, calculated the maths and invited her to my room, tunde gave me the tips like hiding my chair, first of all trying her by telling her to smile for me, then dance for me, then sit on my laps… (it worked)
Emma ette, an akwa ibom girl.. chia I use my nose smell my nyash that day..
first of all when the “polashing” wan start, she had removed her undies, I did lock the windows to avoid intrusion, chia, the odour, the odour, the smell, at first I thought she farted, then I thought a rat ran up her ***** and died, I almost collapsed due to the lack of oxygen, it a mixture of decomposing body, fart, dead rat, shit and pit toilet, it the odour was even minty, it was entering my eyes bring trickling of tears from my eyes, (pepper dey the odour) I almost vomited, no suffocate then vomit…
to worsen the issue, the one condom in my room tore..
“the condom is torn” I told her
“and so” she replied”
her breast dangling off her stomach to her arms as she raised her head ( I was disappointed, the boobs weren’t shy, they were dead, shrinked like nylon and even had veins running through it, I had to ask her age multiple times in disbelief, she insisted she was nineteen)
sooo, make I rush go buy nah”
go buy nah, but you no go see me here when you come back, she replied
e no far, na just that chemist.
guy you no serious, she said rising and beginning to dress
WE DID it, it was not what I thought, It felt like dipping my manliness into a swamp hole or hole with water, the hole tightened and relaxed, tightened hard and relaxed, until I felt like peeing….
I knew what it was and I told her, she gave me the go ahead and I peed inside of her…
the smell of her stuck in me for a while and she gave me syphilis and herpes…….
so I have returned back to my first love VASELINE…..
this is entire fictional….. I don’t have syphilis nor herpes, but emma ette has…..(in this world, there is every probability that there Is someone called emma ette who has syphilis).

“kally her home”.

prettythicksme:
I thank God for ur life say no b hiv/aids!

espionagesavvy:
Guys, how I got syphilis and herpes.. Beware…
you see, I was a little bit jealous, early morning like this my guys will be sneaking girls off their rooms while I would be conserving my Vaseline, soap and olive oil ( I don’t romance with groundnut oil, I heard it is not good for the nuts and fertility from my guy Ibrahim, he is an expert when it comes to the sacred art of self exploration for sensual pleasure which some people has tried to tarnish by calling it the unworthy name masturbation). I lived with some notorious guys In my lodge, they kept tally, a kind of crude statistics of how many girls they banged, drawing crude lines on the blue wall, looking at the wall the clear frontrunner was Tunde, menh this guy is black, no brack, no charcoallic brrrrack but everynight he brought home a different girl, on rare occasions he brought two the same time. READERS, this guy brrrack, but he was as smooth as milk running down Nicky minajs butts when It comes to the catching punanis, he always bragged that the ability was passed on to him by his polygamous father from ogun state.
the close runner up was Amadi, from Abia state, he typically behaves like a bull in a china shop, he borrows a lot, he is stingy, if you tell him to give you ten naira for satchet water because you are with a thousand naira, he is going to look for the thousand naira change even trek third main land bridge because he would not let go of ten naira, he once boasted that the biggest amount he had ever spent on a girl was N370 and this amadi of a guy can kill goodluck jonathan with English, I overheard him telling a girl he was wooing that “ and the dog was purchasing me, I have to lurn inside de houz and rock de door” and that night he banged her, the same I discovered the hidden pleasure of mixing olive oil and Vaseline and instead of jerk, I massaged, it was gooood.
Amadi is a bastard,
the next evening he came home with one fair complexioned tall beautiful girl, bragged that he would pound the girl so hard that the girl would scream the whole night, I contemplated on travelling to avoid the hallowing experience of listening to the girls sound track, but I knew it would be self defeating, my mind would still imagine him pounding away, I did my best to make sweet love to myself, a disturbing thing to some fellas but to the Vaseline crew, mixing it with olive oil is a hybrid sage mode of self exploration and pleasure,,,,,and if you have not tried this, I will advice you to explore your sensual parts diligently.
the next morning amadi work up to an applause, even my landlady and landlord congratulated him on this feat of conquest, a whole branch of tally was given to him, this time around drawn by our landlady herself, her fat yamlike hand drawing walls on the wall, commemorating this feat of sexual victory, tunde protested…(my landlady looks like a rhino with the head of a gorilla, fat and ugly, simple).
landy, “fish na fish, there is nothing like big or small one”
tunde, this one na shark amadi catch, this one no be ordinary fish, no be normal tilapia, you no see the girl…, our land ladys fat mouth belched out these words,,,
“landy landy, I no gree oo, this one na ojoro , e no pure, na small thing this one use fine pass Angelina, and this one na amadis student, amadi dey teach am for school so na cheap victory…”
amadi stood there smiling sheeplishly at the board, clad except for his aba-igbo boxers and his big manhood very conspicuous, welding used tissue paper from the bangalee of last night, because of this guy I just no dey like igbo people again….(no bashing ooo by igbo e warriors)
I was green with envy, and I started contemplating suicide, their tallies were drawn big and bold like tribal marks on a Yoruba mans face or like the strechmarks running down the thighs into the dark ( as I will like to imagine, moist and bushy, whenever I peep into the open cleavage I see darkness, pitch darkness, so you will have to agree with me, that the darkness and obstruction to clear sight was due to the bushes) puni my Yoruba neighbour leaves open whenever she washes her clothe or wants fresh air..
well I have been hearing all soughts of gossip with my name in that compound, from that Daniel is homo, or that fear dey catch Daniel to toast woman, or that Daniel thing no dey work…. and other cheap rumours….bastards…..
to cut story short, I saw a girll, I liked her, I told amadi to help me with some lines, he simply responded that if I didn’t make any move on the girl,… that he was going to “catch the sheck”( with thick igbo accent) and “kally her home”.
I had to make my move, calculated the maths and invited her to my room, tunde gave me the tips like hiding my chair, first of all trying her by telling her to smile for me, then dance for me, then sit on my laps… (it worked)
Emma ette, an akwa ibom girl.. chia I use my nose smell my nyash that day..
first of all when the “polashing” wan start, she had removed her undies, I did lock the windows to avoid intrusion, chia, the odour, the odour, the smell, at first I thought she farted, then I thought a rat ran up her ***** and died, I almost collapsed due to the lack of oxygen, it a mixture of decomposing body, fart, dead rat, shit and pit toilet, it the odour was even minty, it was entering my eyes bring trickling of tears from my eyes, (pepper dey the odour) I almost vomited, no suffocate then vomit…
to worsen the issue, the one condom in my room tore..
“the condom is torn” I told her
“and so” she replied”
her breast dangling off her stomach to her arms as she raised her head ( I was disappointed, the boobs weren’t shy, they were dead, shrinked like nylon and even had veins running through it, I had to ask her age multiple times in disbelief, she insisted she was nineteen)
sooo, make I rush go buy nah”
go buy nah, but you no go see me here when you come back, she replied
e no far, na just that chemist.
guy you no serious, she said rising and beginning to dress
WE DID it, it was not what I thought, It felt like dipping my manliness into a swamp hole or hole with water, the hole tightened and relaxed, tightened hard and relaxed, until I felt like peeing….
I knew what it was and I told her, she gave me the go ahead and I peed inside of her…
the smell of her stuck in me for a while and she gave me syphilis and herpes…….
so I have returned back to my first love VASELINE…..
this is entire fictional….. I don’t have syphilis nor herpes, but emma ette has…..(in this world, there is every probability that there Is someone called emma ette who has syphilis).