1.To be a Nigerian, first you must be religious.
And you must advertise your piety. Sleep in the church, pray against your enemies. Proclaim your religiosity from the rooftops. Mention God’s name in every conversation. In a land where there is so much madness, religion offers you the only opportunity to cling on to a measure of holiness. It is the only way to remind yourself that you are human after all, and that there is something that you still believe in. Commit all kind of sins from Monday to Saturday including fraud of all kind, bring part of it to the church on Sunday and give testimony how God has blessed you.
Police "Sir is your car covered with insurance?"
Driver "My car is covered with the blood of Jesus"



2. Constantly complain that Nigeria is the worst country on Earth.

But when October 1st comes, take complete pride in your origins and celebrate like crazy.Wear green and white to show your patriotism, attend independence party, then 2nd of October go back to your nagging.



3. Learn to love gala and Lacasera drink

As these may be the only menu when you get stuck in a traffic.


4.Learn to be joyous.
Every weekend, attend a party, wear the Aso ebi your friend Shove down your throat, and tell yourself that the biggest achievement that any man can be proud of is to remain alive. It doesn’t matter if you are trapped in squalor. If you are lucky to have some means, then you are truly lucky. That is why we are among the happiest people on earth.


5.Keep a mental note of enemies.


To be a Nigerian, you should have enemies and if you don't have one, you will need to create one for yourself, else who will you blame for your misfortunes or failure. Even the Enemy complains of his enemies.



6.Hang a religious symbol like a cross on your car’s rear-view mirror

Or better, get stickers; religious stickers and stick them on your windshield. It doesn’t matter that you are a completely reckless driver — they will protect and ensure that you reach home safely.



7.Look rich at all time even when you're broke

To be a Nigerian, you won’t climb up the social quo if you don’t “pack” yourself properly.You have to either wear it, drive it or live it, else no one will take you serious. You must be loud with your wealth and accomplishments. Even if you are poor, you must carry on with life with a certain swagger. Don’t ever forget that you are a Nigerian; your country is the sixth largest producer of crude oil in the world, the most populous black nation on earth, and the home of the happiest people in the universe.





8.You must wake up each day dreaming of one hundred other ways of making money.

9.After making the money, you should also learn how to flaun[/b]t it.
The wealth you've acquired need to be rubbed on the faces of those enemies.




10.In George Orwell’s book- Animal farm, all animals are equal but some are more equal, to be a Nigerian you should always have it in mind that, all men are equal by citizenship, but some are to be called Ogas.

[b]11.You must also adore titles to yourself.
It doesn't matter how ridiculous they might sound; titles like Chief, Hajia, Alhaji, Otunba, Dame, and other professional titles like Doctor , Engineer. They show how important you're and why people should regard you. These titles show the exercise of lust for respect, authority, and power to satisfy your unworthy egos and vanity, so you must add one to your name.

So you can now call yourself Alhaji Dr. (Chief)........



12.To be a Nigerian, you must be very cautious all the time, treat all with nothing less than suspicion.



13.You should not be able to speak your native language or if you can you should pretend not to be able to speak your native language, even while your battle with English Language remained evident, else people will think you're country-side’, ‘village-bred’, or ‘unexposed’.



14.To be a Nigerian, you must be an optimist. A pessimist is not a Nigerian.
This is the only way to survive is to always hope; hope there will be constant power supply, hope for change, hope that your boss at work will promote you as you can't remember the last time you got promoted, hope that one day boko haram will stop bombing, you have to always anticipate a brighter future else you will die of depression before old age. And this hope needs some rekindling, so for you to be a Nigerian you also need to be an ardent reader of motivational books.




15.To be a Nigerian, you don't have to be too time conscious, arrive late to any event, the event will most likely have not started when you finally arrive late.

16.Also, for you be a Nigerian, you also have to portray Ethnicity and tribal sentiment;Yorubas are these... Hausas are that, Igbos are those...etc


Finally, you're now a Nigerian, but learn how to scream “Do you know who I am?” when you find yourself in certain situations.

Of course, you're now a Nigerian but you still need to confirm if people truly know who you are.



Oya you can now start hurling your insults cause you all hate the truth.

Cc:Lalasticlala
Cc:Ishilove
Cc;Seun.

CULLED FROM :http://www.tlkdrum.com/how-to-become-a-nigerian-in-15-easy-steps/
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First to comment!! Not a price really but it does make you feel good!

God bless you all.

The job of the National Orientation Agency is to implement programs that will orientate and change our mindset to reflect positive attitude. Unfortunately, the NOA has over the years been a waste of space and resources. I believe that Nigeria will rise if we get things right.

Exactly what forms the personality of an average Nigerian and what sets us as envy of most African nation. Na only crime be the wahala God dey

SAD TRUTH

TonyeBarcanista:
The job of the National Orientation Agency is to implement programs that will orientate and change our mindset to reflect positive attitude. Unfortunately, the NOA has over te years been a waste of space and resources. I believe that Nigeria shall rise if we get things right.

TonyeBarcanista:
The job of the National Orientation Agency is to implement programs that will orientate and change our mindset to reflect positive attitude. Unfortunately, the NOA has over te years been a waste of space and resources. I believe that Nigeria shall rise if we get things right.

Tonye as much as i want to agree with you, you can only change the hard disk, ram and some there accessories of a computer u can't change the processor which is the heart of the computer, our orientation can only be blended in line with our culture and tradition, you can take aso ebi and owanbe from the yorubas and other salient attributes of other cultures.

Cc:Lalasticlala
Cc;Lalasticlala
Cc:Ishilove

TonyeBarcanista:
The job of the National Orientation Agency is to implement programs that will orientate and change our mindset to reflect positive attitude. Unfortunately, the NOA has over the years been a waste of space and resources. I believe that Nigeria will rise if we get things right.

I'm kicking against agreeing with you but lost the battle

There is little NOA can achieve though, our elders & religious bodies have the most work to do.....

The only relationship Nigerians don't frown at is Financial, every other is called into question.....

Our churches discourage us from being equally "yoked" with unbelievers who are headed straight for hell, while the mullahs too indoctrinate theirs that we christians are a waste of space and are either to be "forced" to join or be removed from the face of the earth...

We will get it right someday...Hopefully.

Lwkmd ..

But very very true.. Cos you ticked all the boxes

True talk..

despite the fact that country is still wallowing in a state of despondency, Nigerians have a way of enjoying themselves and making laughter out of virtually every situation. So , in Nigeria it's never a dull moment. GOD BLESS NAIJA.

Trekkers...

You can be a Nigerian by trekking long distance journey.

From Lome to Yaoundé
From Manchester to London
From San Diego to San Fransisco
From Port Elizabeth to Bloemfontein
From Vancouver to Winnipeg....

I thought as much. I'm an Egyptian living in Nigeria. Does that make me more or less a Nigerian? Coz I'm guilty of most of these things.

In fact, every spirit of Nigerian in my life, starting from this moment, fall down, saumersault, be roasted, and blended by fire in Jesus name...

Who deleted this video from political section and why

BIAFRA!!! A ducumentry video televised by an Austrain news media (video)


http://www./2015/10/biafra-ducumentry-video-televised-by.html?m=1

hmmmmm naija

Nigerians see disappointment as normal tinz
Nigerians believes in Africa time...
Nigerians manage things because they don't know what tomorrow will say..
..... Not every part of nigeria eat sausage and drinks... it only common in Lag, abj and some parts

Be APC or PDP

not to be bothered by different kind of strike action.. Be it ASUU, asup, nlc, etc

YOU MUST ALSO LEARN TO ANSWER QUESTIONS WITH QUESTIONS..

to be a nigerian u must love big yansh.

Police:"Sir is your car covered with insurance?"
Driver: "My car is covered with the blood of Jesus"

LOL! But these are all how to be a "Lagosian" or perhaps a Southerner. Nigerian is diverse! The world doesn't revolve only around your home or city. Nigeria as it is now is like three different countries wrap together, Each with its separate identities.

"Do you know who I am?"
I used this a lot when I was in Nigeria. Funny thing is that it always works. I remember a time when I was travelling from Benue to Abuja. That's how Mr. Driver started talking to me anyhow telling me to move from front seat to the back because of fine girl. Na so I change am o. See shout. "Do you know who I am? Do you know who my father is? Do you want to sleep in cell this night"
Na so driver begin shake o, "Ehen who are you, wetin I talk now? Na so them go dey take everything serious. Person no fit talk again ".
I felt like bursting out in laughter. I couldn't believe the gullibility.

Issoki

8.You must wake up each day dreaming of one hundred other ways of making money.





This is the Nigerian spirit

If u wanna be a Nigerian,learn how to post nonsense like this op

OP You are right on the Learning "how to scream" Especially Lagos people

It is in the DNA!

We are dying and smiling in this country, no thanks to those thief politicians and their extremist supporters.