My elder sister is scheduled to get married in a couple of weeks. Initially I was quite ecstatic with the whole news and arrangements and all. One day she was to visit the husband in their family house and we packed her bags and all. The guy came and after staying and all, he now said (in his exact words) LET US GO TO OUR HOUSE. That was when it dawned on me that she now had another house. That realization really gave me the chills I must confess.
The other day she still had to go spend some time in their family house, even without the guy being around...and she was very happy about it. I began to wonder how she could be happy leaving us that she had always known as family to this newly found family of hers.
Wedding preparations are at its peak now...and seeing as I really don't have money to support them (just straight out of school), I felt the much I could offer are ideas. My sister keeps complaining that I only pitch in ideas that are worth so much naira...that do I want them to go broke after the wedding. I just want her to have the best...and with the way she's sounding, I started feeling like she's already seeing me as the outsider...choosing him over me. Unconsciously I developed a grudge against the guy, after all if he hadn't come into the picture, we wouldn't be planning any wedding, and things would still be as they were...perfect.
Am I an insanely wicked person for feeling this way? Or is this a perfectly normal feeling?? Something that will disappear with time

Free her,,,u need to understand the fact that she is a woman

And most ladies misbehave to their ppl because of their man

Just because they knw u will forgive dem

You come off as someone who thinks everything should be about her.

I don't know about you being an evil person, but you're pretty much a selfish person going by your writeup.

Its pretty normal to feel jealous. But having a grudge on the guy, dats a serious one. U need to loosen up and embrace the situation. U guys re no more kids, u too will marry someday. As for the planning, let them be.

Developing a grudge against the guy IMO is petty. Life happens ma'am. Siblings you played in the sand with will one day be miles away with families of theirs, high school best friends will be far away some having great careers and families too. You can't develop a grudge everytime this happens.

Support your sis the best way you can. One day it will get to your turn too.

One painful realisation we must all come to at some point is that life is a series of separations.

Only a husband and wife are meant to stay together forever; every other person finds their way. The best they can do is keep in touch, and keep the love burning.

You're gonna get over it. Just scared of losing the bond you have with you sis.
It happens but life goes on.

ideyhere:
and things would still be as they were...perfect.

perfect meaning you want your sister to remain single indefinitely?


that's a strange definition of perfect used to describe grown adults.

btw I think you're supposed to be spending some time finding your own suitor instead of following your sister about.

tpiander:



perfect meaning you want your sister to be growing older everyday in her father's house and looking for suitors in every nook and corner?


that's a strange definition of perfect used to describe grown adults.

I guess you're right...I'm being really silly here

I've modified the comment.

I guess you were waiting for my post.

Pineapp:
You are plainly jealous,in your mind you are wishing it were you..

This is one thing I'm very sure it is not..

^ your thread title and op are not normal.

do you or your family have some taboos which involve people not marrying?

ideyhere:
My elder sister is scheduled to get married in a couple of weeks. Initially I was quite ecstatic with the whole news and arrangements and all. One day she was to visit the husband in their family house and we packed her bags and all. The guy came and after staying and all, he now said (in his exact words) LET US GO TO OUR HOUSE. That was when it dawned on me that she now had another house. That realization really gave me the chills I must confess.
The other day she still had to go spend some time in their family house, even without the guy being around...and she was very happy about it. I began to wonder how she could be happy leaving us that she had always known as family to this newly found family of hers.
Wedding preparations are at its peak now...and seeing as I really don't have money to support them (just straight out of school), I felt the much I could offer are ideas. My sister keeps complaining that I only pitch in ideas that are worth so much naira...that do I want them to go broke after the wedding. I just want her to have the best...and with the way she's sounding, I started feeling like she's already seeing me as the outsider...choosing him over me. Unconsciously I developed a grudge against the guy, after all if he hadn't come into the picture, we wouldn't be planning any wedding, and things would still be as they were...perfect.
Am I an insanely wicked person for feeling this way? Or is this a perfectly normal feeling?? Something that will disappear with time

You're not wicked, this is quite normal if you two were close. Realize that your relationship with your sister may never be the same again, it all depends on how you both handle it. Give her some space, she will be the one looking for you again to discurse in-law palava

ideyhere:
My elder sister is scheduled to get married in a couple of weeks. Initially I was quite ecstatic with the whole news and arrangements and all. One day she was to visit the husband in their family house and we packed her bags and all. The guy came and after staying and all, he now said (in his exact words) LET US GO TO OUR HOUSE. That was when it dawned on me that she now had another house. That realization really gave me the chills I must confess.
The other day she still had to go spend some time in their family house, even without the guy being around...and she was very happy about it. I began to wonder how she could be happy leaving us that she had always known as family to this newly found family of hers.
Wedding preparations are at its peak now...and seeing as I really don't have money to support them (just straight out of school), I felt the much I could offer are ideas. My sister keeps complaining that I only pitch in ideas that are worth so much naira...that do I want them to go broke after the wedding. I just want her to have the best...and with the way she's sounding, I started feeling like she's already seeing me as the outsider...choosing him over me. Unconsciously I developed a grudge against the guy, after all if he hadn't come into the picture, we wouldn't be planning any wedding, and things would still be as they were...perfect.
Am I an insanely wicked person for feeling this way? Or is this a perfectly normal feeling?? Something that will disappear with time

Nah, its normal when you're close like that. I remember being incredibly devastated most of the times one of my siblings would move out and away. Especially, when the last of my siblings (my closest brother) left home, and I was the last one standing - holy shyt, that hurtt, lol. Then of course, the folks start to hone in you with the tenacity of a bulldog since you're only one there to worry about, 'til you eventually squirm your way out too.

There's really no need to worry, though. IME, not much will change between you. I've found it to be relatively similar to the way it was at home. If you were super close, you'll continue to stay close and keep in touch. If you tended to constantly butt heads and didn't understand each other, you'll love each other from a healthy distance.

Suggestion: Open a groupchat. We have a several in our family. One with just my sisters, one with everybody, etc.

You are immature in my opinion at least.

You are straight out of school. Didn't u have a boyfriend in school? At least you must have friends that had boyfriends. We're you jealous of their boyfriends too?

It's a phase, you'll get through with time. Your parents will also be having cold feet about separating from your sister but they wouldn't want to show it.

ideyhere:
My elder sister is scheduled to get married in a couple of weeks. Initially I was quite ecstatic with the whole news and arrangements and all. One day she was to visit the husband in their family house and we packed her bags and all. The guy came and after staying and all, he now said (in his exact words) LET US GO TO OUR HOUSE. That was when it dawned on me that she now had another house. That realization really gave me the chills I must confess.
The other day she still had to go spend some time in their family house, even without the guy being around...and she was very happy about it. I began to wonder how she could be happy leaving us that she had always known as family to this newly found family of hers.
Wedding preparations are at its peak now...and seeing as I really don't have money to support them (just straight out of school), I felt the much I could offer are ideas. My sister keeps complaining that I only pitch in ideas that are worth so much naira...that do I want them to go broke after the wedding. I just want her to have the best...and with the way she's sounding, I started feeling like she's already seeing me as the outsider...choosing him over me. Unconsciously I developed a grudge against the guy, after all if he hadn't come into the picture, we wouldn't be planning any wedding, and things would still be as they were...perfect.
Am I an insanely wicked person for feeling this way? Or is this a perfectly normal feeling?? Something that will disappear with time

ideyhere:
My elder sister is scheduled to get married in a couple of weeks. Initially I was quite ecstatic with the whole news and arrangements and all. One day she was to visit the husband in their family house and we packed her bags and all. The guy came and after staying and all, he now said (in his exact words) LET US GO TO OUR HOUSE. That was when it dawned on me that she now had another house. That realization really gave me the chills I must confess.
The other day she still had to go spend some time in their family house, even without the guy being around...and she was very happy about it. I began to wonder how she could be happy leaving us that she had always known as family to this newly found family of hers.
Wedding preparations are at its peak now...and seeing as I really don't have money to support them (just straight out of school), I felt the much I could offer are ideas. My sister keeps complaining that I only pitch in ideas that are worth so much naira...that do I want them to go broke after the wedding. I just want her to have the best...and with the way she's sounding, I started feeling like she's already seeing me as the outsider...choosing him over me. Unconsciously I developed a grudge against the guy, after all if he hadn't come into the picture, we wouldn't be planning any wedding, and things would still be as they were...perfect.
Am I an insanely wicked person for feeling this way? Or is this a perfectly normal feeling?? Something that will disappear with time

sweet heart its perfectly normal. there is nothing evil about you ( although I believe its a little beyond the edge) you see......we all feel emotions like this wen our loved ones that we've known for life seem to prefer outsiders to us. Infact most parents on handing their daughters out feel like that secretly.....however you need to check ur self ( immaturity is the main cause from wat I see) BE GENUINELY HAPPY FOR HER. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU CANT LEAVE WITH HER FOREVER..... YOU TOO WILL ONE DAY HAVE YOUR OWN HUSBAND WHO WILL TAKE YOU TOO AWAY FROM OTHERS. SEE YOUR BROTHER IN LAW AS A BIG BROTHER. DON'T LET IMMATURITY AND INSECURITY Rob u of something sweet. flow with the CHANGE. THE PAIN AND CONFUSION will pass AWAY ONE DAY AND YOULL be laughing at urself for being silly. ciao

cococandy:
You're gonna get over it. Just scared of losing the bond you have with you sis.
It happens but life goes on.

how can you answer this

If your twin sister was on NL, she would be in the best position to counsel the OP.

If I had my way, all twins esp females would marry same day. Too strong a bond to be broken overnight

It must have been mixed feelings for her on your day right? - happy for you but sad to lose her most trusted confidant



@OP - sorry I am not feeling you personally

I was very happy when my elder sisters were getting married oo even though they didn't really know the true reason

Meant less errands, more peace, more space, more everything inshort

I am way down the ladder amongst my siblings but I was finally going to be in charge

You are not wicked at all. You are a loving sister and you are aware of the approaching farewell, which makes you sad and probably anxious. Goodbyes can be very painful so I perfectly understand your feelings but now, you need to focus on what you will gain instead of on what you will lose. Your sister is starting her own family now and you can consciously decide to focus on this happiness instead of making a drama out of it. This is the way life goes. We all move out of our parents' home sooner or later but this does not mean that we lose our families. In fact, we will learn that no matter how outer circumstances change, they will always be our family and we learn to value the bond even more. In the next few days, months and years your sister will need you more, not less. Bring positive energy into the whole thing and your sister and you will become even closer.

I know how she felt when I left.
So I kind of feel the OP on a personal level.

But now she's all bubbly and we chat all the time like I didn't even leave

Kimoni:


how can you answer this

If your twin sister was on NL, she would be in the best position to counsel the OP.

If I had my way, all twins esp females would marry same day. Too strong a bond to be broken overnight

It must have been mixed feelings for her on your day right? - happy for you but sad to lose her most trusted confidant



@OP - sorry I am not feeling you personally

I was very happy when my elder sisters were getting married oo even though they didn't really know the true reason

Meant less errands, more peace, more space, more everything inshort

I am way down the ladder amongst my siblings but I was finally going to be in charge

cococandy:
I know how she felt when I left.
So I kind of feel the OP on a personal level.

But now she's all bubbly and we chat all the time like I didn't even leave

Awwww I can imagine

Happy she has moved on. My luv to her

@ Kimoni

You lived an opposite outcome. My siblings leaving meant MORE work for me, and more expectations too.

EnlightenedSoul:
@ Kimoni

You lived an opposite outcome. My siblings leaving meant MORE work for me, and more expectations too.

how naa

Kimoni:


how naa

I'm jelly, lol. All the stuff they were doing fell to my shoulders. I was living THE LIFE before they left, without even knowing it

EnlightenedSoul:


I'm jelly, lol. All the stuff they were doing fell to my shoulders. I was living THE LIFE before they left, without even knowing it

Hahahahha..okay I get it now

Me I was happy to take charge abeg

I would have to be consulted now in all decision making

Asides that, my sisters can send you on errand for Africa...very annoying

Then I had the whole room to myself me I was happy o

Kimoni:



Hahahahha..okay I get it now

Me I was happy to take charge abeg

I would have to be consulted now in all decision making

Asides that, my sisters can send you on errand for Africa...very annoying

Then I had the whole room to myself me I was happy o

Same experience i had.Over happy sef.We are very close,9 of us but seeing my siblings getting married one after the other was christmas for me.... .
Truth is i was seeing them as often as i wanted,but i just didn't want to.Freedom at last...

edwife:


Same experience i had.Over happy sef.We are very close,9 of us but seeing my siblings getting married one after the other was christmas for me.... .
Truth is i was seeing them as often as i wanted,but i just didn't want to.Freedom at last...

you feeling me babes

Kimoni:


you feeling me babes

very much babes.

from the perspective of ya brother inlaw...you have to be evil.

U are jealous.....that shows some traits of wickedness. She is getting married. How is remaining wit u better than that?