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Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men - Ethnic, Racial, Or Sectarian Politics - Nairaland

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Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by yaaataa(f): 5:06pm On Oct 10, 2006
Hi everyone! I'm new here and this is my first post! As i am probably one of the youngest members here (just turned 19), from my 'short' experience in the world, i have noticed something which is really bugging me. Before you read this, i am not disrespecting any of the blackmen on this forum who are with white woman - or any of the white women who are members in this forum - its just a question i want opinions on. smiley

I just wanted to know , why is it that  some black men in most interracial relationships disrespect blackwomen. Common phrases by them are 'Black woman are too difficult', 'black women are not open minded and are rubbish in bed' 'black women are gold diggers'. The reason why i am bringing up this issue is because these comments are really upsetting me, because not all black women fit these stereotype plus other women from other races can easily fit into these stereotypes too. Growing up and living in London, i've seen this behaviour all too many times from black men in interracial relationships (both at my university and in public too).

This is not to say that black women don't do this also (Those in interracial relationship) but i find it more common with black men.

I have no problem with Black men dating white women and i am not here to attack them, but it has become almost idiomatic among those who do date outside of the race. One of my male friends will date anyone but a black woman and has nothing positive to say about one (he also says things that i would consider racist and would expect the KKK to say!). One of my other male friends who is white, frequently dates black girls (and is engaged to one) but does not say anything negative about white women, he still respects them. This is the same for the asian guys that date white women or black girls as a matter of fact, they still respect them.

Also the black men i know who,  do  date white women (exclusively) admitted that they are with them because black women are 'difficult' , 'too rude' or 'golddiggers' or hard to approach. Fair enough if you wish to date outside the race, but why do they feel the need to always put black women down - its like they hate or even detest black women. It is really hurtful to hear such comments and see threads here such as 'are white women better in bed' . The white male friend that i mentioned before said to me one day 'why do black men disrespect black women when they date white women, and why are they all rushing to be with white girls, when there are beautiful black women here ? ' and then he joked saying 'sooner or later it will be uncommon to see a black man with a black woman' which i agreed with. Me and my girlfriends were also debating, 'where will all the black men be when we are ready to get married?'

I for one will marry a black man, he does not have to necessarily have to be Ghanaian. My parents will be happy as long as he is black. He can be any type of black e.g black Brazillian (afro south american), African American, Carribean. I am currently in a relationship with a Nigerian guy, who i've know since i was young and to clarify the 'so called' ridiculous beef between Ghanaians and Nigerians , neither sides of our family have a problem with us dating (and why should they, we are all African at the end of the day).

The reason why i will never date a white man or other race is because i have no connectionwith them, culturally, physically, mentally or spiritually. Another reason, is because iam not attracted to white men period! - they do not interest me in anyway, the same goes for Asian and oriental. I went on a date with a white and Asian guy just to be 'open- minded' and found out that we just didn't click, i did not connect with them as i would with a black men (by the way not just any random black man). I think everyone knows who they attracted to and i for one know that it is not them. so iam not racicst if my preference is Blackmen (as i have been accused of by most black men) What is wrong with loving your fellow black man?

I know that there are plently of black men who appreciate the sistas! cheesy but they are becoming increasingly scarce. Yes, there are black women with some terrible attitudes and who fit the stereotypes however, i do not feel that ones experience should  not tar their perception of all black women.

So basically my question is, 'why do some black men in interacial relationships feel the need to disrespect or talk bad about black women?'

Don't black men love black women any more? Where has the love and respect that the black man, once showed towards black women i.e like my dad has shown my mum for the last 20 years  sad

Again i have nothing against interracial relationships (you love who you love) but i do have a problem, when black women are constantly being put down by some black men who are in these relationships. Its like Black women are not worth S**t these days and are treated as if we are less than a white women/asian/oriental. It really does hurt me to see this in the black community.
What are your opinions Guys ? All opinions welcome  smiley And please no disrespectful or stereotypical comments about black women, please stick to the question.  smiley Please don't attack me because i know some of you can be harsh ! smiley
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by neelsel(f): 5:37pm On Oct 10, 2006
It's a Napoleon complex syndrome, and honestly I pray they get deliverance very soon,
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by drrionelli(m): 6:08pm On Oct 10, 2006
@yaa ataa:
It is so refreshing to read a well-thought-out posting by somebody! I have some personal feelings about this. I'd like to offer them when I have time to do so. Thank you for bringing this topic to our attention, as I feel it still, unfortunately, needs to be addressed.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by somegirl(f): 6:24pm On Oct 10, 2006
Yaa Ataa, thanks for highlighting that not all black men (who are dating a non-black girl) think so. I've read such statements, that black woman are too --- or not --- enough on the Internet a few times. And I wonder: Those who wrote them, did they forget that their mama is a black woman too?
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by yaaataa(f): 6:38pm On Oct 10, 2006
I agree with you somegirl , they always forget that they come from us (the black woman). we are the ones that bring them into this world. I always give props to the blackmen that still respect their african queens and do not toss them to the side as soon as they anything not black.

It kind of seems to me that those who practice this behaviour, may be suffering from self - hate syndrome. What do you think somegirl ?

@ Drreolini (think i spelt your name wrong):

I agree with you, this is definately a topic that needs to be addressed.  smiley

@ Neelsel:

Sadly some of the brothers that do this are suffering from self hate syndrome. Its like every time they see a black woman it reminds them of what they are, so they may feel the need to put her down, to disassociate himself from her.

@ all black women and men in this forum:

To all the black men that do not disrespect black women, i respect that you do not. smiley And to all the black women that are loyal and respect black men , keep it up wink. We shall soon find our African Kings (well i have already wink) just keep searching, because it will be worth the wait. Trust me, there are still some good ones out there!
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by somegirl(f): 7:18pm On Oct 10, 2006
Unfortunately, people seem to generalize, especially after a bad experience. That might be another reason.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by hotangel2(f): 7:27pm On Oct 10, 2006
Majority of the black men that disrespect black women are just insecure, and are always looking for filmsy excuses as to why they dnt respect/date black women.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by Coco29(f): 9:29pm On Oct 10, 2006
yaa ataa:



I just wanted to know , why is it that some black men in most interracial relationships disrespect blackwomen. Common phrases by them are 'Black woman are too difficult', 'black women are not open minded and are rubbish in bed' 'black women are gold diggers'. The reason why i am bringing up this issue is because these comments are really upsetting me, because not all black women fit these stereotype plus other women from other races can easily fit into these stereotypes too. Growing up and living in London, i've seen this behaviour all too many times from black men in interracial relationships (both at my university and in public too).


black women are difficult- black woman take no nonsense

black women are rubbish in bed- while to a black woman my d i c k is below average to a white chick it is huge.

black women are Golddigger- black women do not let lazy Bottom black man stay at home while she work all day only for him to wine and dine his bit on the side.


sweetie do not let it bother you, black men still have a lot to learn about black women, some take the time to understand that, because black men were not allowed to be head of the home, during slavery, black women had to learn the art of self-sufficiency and only need a man for sex, which has, like every thing else come down our ancestrial line.

Real brothers have taken the time to understand this and came to the realisation that we are strong, independant woman who do not need a man by our side to succeed, and embrace us because they know where we are coming from. wink wink wink


TO THE BLACK MEN OUT THERE WHO DISRESPECT BLACK WOMEN YOU SHOULD REMEMBER WE ARE YR MOTHERS AND SISTERS.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by Busta(f): 3:22am On Oct 11, 2006
here's the answer to ur question.


It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more)!!!

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either, too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess Baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes.

I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius , Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes, I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.

Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black Men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA


RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy

The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.

I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in
and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt , you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!!

It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children it was black women who were bosom feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, still They Rise! It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen.

It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their
determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and bosoms with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman, Someone that can be a good wife, and mother to my children, someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.


Signed, Black Royalty
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by whitelexi(m): 5:36pm On Oct 11, 2006
I'm not surprised that all responses so far have come from the ladies in the house commending the thread and all. I always like to look at all situations from 2 points of view, (the cause and the effect perspectives). Unfortunately, all that has been highlighted so far all fall under the 'effects' perspective. I will not be the one to start listing all the evil that women can do, today they are absolutely magnificent, the next day they are utterly horrific!
While I admit that not all black women are like this, it is also worthwhile to point out what my school principal always said before punishing the entire grade, "In the punishment of the guilty, the innocent shall part-take".
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by hotangel2(f): 8:21pm On Oct 21, 2006
Whitelexi, that's right. I love the quote.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by superman(m): 9:05pm On Oct 21, 2006
somegal u are biased! and u know it! maybe because you are white u never say anything in support to the topic in the thread
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by somegirl(f): 12:04am On Oct 22, 2006
superman: somegal u are biased! and u know it! maybe because you are white u never say anything in support to the topic in the thread

@Superman: Biko, guo ihe a ozo! Daalu.

somegirl: [Those who disrespect black women], did they forget that their mama is a black woman too?
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by mazaje(m): 12:58am On Oct 22, 2006
Let me say from my own experience i repeat from my own experience, i have dated like 4 black girls and 2 white girls and the difference with the 2 of them has more to do with their culture, life style and personality. the white gilrs are very very open minded and are free and more adventurous while the black women are too cultured and some men take it to be rigidity on the black girls part and feel they are not open to change which to me is a lack of understanding of the black sisters. When u look at the life styles of both you will realize that most of the black guys that disrespect black women disrespect those that were brought up in africa because the society there does not really support women. while the society in europe, austrialia and america teaches their women to be self reliant , independent and free the society in africa discourages that so that when our african sisters go to europe or US they still carry that dependent and negative aspect of their african cultures with them. when they start displaying it people disrespect them not for anything but for what they see. let me tell u of my own personal experience, while in nigeria i was used to 'being the man' that is providing everything for my girl in a relationship. i buy her clothes, credit for her phone, take her out , in general any thing that involes money i do the paying. she never does anything her and her friends will invite me out and i will settle the bills back in africa because thats how our society is all the bills go to the man. when i first got here a my house mate had a girl friend and he was always attacking black girls always calling them names always saying they were too hard are liars, theives and what not . he told me he never really got to know love until he meet his white girl .then i didnt have any experience with a white girl so i couldnt say anything about it. when i first got my white girl it was a very very different experience am serious, the first day we went out she paid the bills i was like shocked shocked she calls me all the time and never ask me for money to buy credit for her phone, and i was still like shocked shocked shocked, there was a time i got some money and gave her $400 and she refused to take it i was mad with suprise because sincerely speaking i have never experienced that before back in nigeria my girls used to ask me for money all the time, things kept moving in the relationship everything was 50/50 nothing like because u are the man u will be the provider and what not and i must say in bed she was far more adventerous than the black girls i have meet she was willing to try new things and what not , the black girls are quite reserved in bed because thats how they were brought up the society the grew up in made them so. later she went to sweden and the relationship died off because i cound'nt join here there. then a black sister came my way the first week we were together she asked me to give her $500 because she wanted to pay for her house rent. after a week it was always please by credit for me i want to call my mum, and when ever we go out i settled the bills and what not. all her friends were all asking me for money and favors on a daily basis i was like na wha ohhh which kin life be this? the relationship ended because i could not stand the demands and stress. then came another white girl. she was same as the other white girl never asked me for money,doesnt shout and nagg all day, and was less agrresive than the black girl and what not. so i sat down and thought it over i don't blame the black girls for that because thats how they were brought up they grew up in a society that has not been fair to them as women, and they came to europe with the same state of mind.  in europe its not like that, the women are free and have equal opportunities as the men so the women are quite independent, if they black sisters had the money as the white girls i don't think they will be fronting and be too agrresive and running after the money so much, because the basic truth is that black girls are toooooo much after money every black guy that has been into interracial relationship will tell u that money is all what black girls know. i have a friend from Greece that came complianing to me of how he finds his black girls attitude strange, she asks him for money as if she was a LovePeddler, its all money all the time. lots of white guys have come lamenting to me of how their black girls love money and i just listen and  try to educate them so that they know that that's how they were raised.I don't blame the  the black brothers that disrespect the black sisters because it isnt their fault u need to be in their shoes to see things their way,(white girls front less and are not too much about money as black girls) on the other hand i don't blame the black african sisters either for the dependence and show of love of money and rigidity in bed because thats how they were brought up(the see the man as the head and the provider of all things in a relationship and their culture does not allow them to behave as 'whores' in bed) but one thing i have to tell the black sisters is this, please try to be independent and know that a man will despise and respect u less u when he knows that u want him to take care of u(be your father, provide everything for u and what not) he will respect and appreciate u more if u are independent(cos its one of the major reasons why black brother are running away from the black sisters) else all the black guys will be running to the white girls. i said in a post before that i read in one ebony magazine published in 2005(can't remember the precise date) that in the US there are no black brothers for the black sisters, all the responsible, educated ,drug free and working class black brothers are running to the white girls while all the black sisters have are the ex convicts, drug addicts,and lazy Bottom gansters to be with. the sisters have to answer to that. what do they think is responsible for that?
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by somegirl(f): 1:35am On Oct 22, 2006
@Mazaje: These two pieces might make an interesting read:

[url=http://books.google.com/books?vid=ISBN0313292140&id=gGjRqPBYfPYC&pg=PA23&lpg=PA23&dq=%22Gender,+Business,+and+Space+Control:+Yoruba+Market+Women+and+Power%22&sig=uPgHsk9Uz4J6Ik75fKpQ2Aw0axM]Gender, Business, and Space Control: Yoruba Market Women and Power[/url]

Household Survival and Economic Empowerment of Women in Osun State of Nigeria

I always thought of (South) Nigerian women as strong and independent --- undecided
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 1:59am On Oct 22, 2006
Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men
NO! It should Rather be DISRESPECT OF BLAC MEN BY BLAC WOMEN. WHY?

Firstly i must say that your epistle was to much for mi. you approached the humilation sensibly but one sided.
i feel the whole thing is on both sides. you feel the pain on the opposite side dependin on ya sex.
BUT I NO THA WE STILL HAV UNCORRUPTED SOULS IN THE UK, EURO, US AND ALL OVER - I DONT INCLUDE RACISTS PLS.

Although, Blac ladies hav their CAPRICIOUSNESS (especially when livin outside Africa) , i still lov them. we can still be compactible than when with others. even though, i never dated a non Blac, i no they will definitely not be angels - there must be some behind the camera scene.

TASTE MATTERS: I, like others, lov BLAC women but we all hav our tastes. it isnt a sacrilage to hav it.
em, eh?. you mean mi taste? eh?
i think Lekpa (not anorexic type please) is better. Good Talker (not senseless type please). Sensible Arguer (not a fighter). an then life goes on.

Blac ladies please take your Blac bros as good men. they arent lazy as you think but you don't giv the men time an opportunity like the nigerian NFA that would never giv time to a Home coach/manager to prov their abilities.
you guys conclude even before the guy comes close, think about it
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by superman(m): 2:11am On Oct 22, 2006
haha like superman always say my black people i repeat my black people got a long way to go! i seen a nigeria lady that said to me it high time black people stop all these nonesense. white men are as bad as black man if thats what u wana hear now. she has been dating a white man for 10years before their relationship break down so i think she is also such in a good position to tell us what not?

now superman asking if white man love their women so much how come there are so much divorce rate in europe. a lot of them are in drugs just to be happy nevermind the money stacking up. if they are so much in love with their white so good selves how come they make less babies. as a matter of fact america just clock 300,000 in popolation and half the number are immigant. how come so much white men are craddle-robbers, they molest in the process they kill their women. how come so much white women out there are looking for one night stand from a black man. how come white women tend to talk about all the dirty looks they get from black women when they walk along  black man in the street. wonder why course every black person has been enduring the same bullshit for years! can  u read any implication from that. can you , hope you can, you joker!

so you see it seemed our black are suffering from lunatic dieseases that they cant think properly anymore. you are busy trying to make white men look good , dnt blame yall course yall living blindy. some of yall got white men as a partner so i can understand why we got great defencive wall across the border. the great chinese wall ha, can u picture that! u so crazy. wake up smell the cofffe my friend.

Why not look at it this way! the reason why those white gals dnt accept your money or whatever when yall go out is because she dnt wana go against the slavery mentality . course in accordance to their believe they think they are superior being far more better than you! so what makes you think accepting your truly offering suggest she is better than a black woman. more so for years white men simply can't understand why so much white women prefer black men that they have come to accpet it as a way of life hence you can take time back to germany to see where am coming from. some even suggest its as far back as the medeavial slavery days  so its all good people choose to live blindly! thats their problem. i rather stay afloat witness bare stuff ha.

white gals will always be white gals till something change till then something will never change!
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 2:29am On Oct 22, 2006
PLS am not racist oh. Blac lady na Blac lady. an so it was an is, an will aways be. as it was in the beginnin so shall it be to the end - war without end.

they Hebrews go with Hebrews. Indians vs Indians. Chinese vs Chinese. muslim vs muslim. osama vs bill of laden. Bush vs forest, others vs others. Therefore, it should (even though its not) be Blac vs Blac. this conserves an maintains egusi soup, okbono soup, ede soup, stock fish soup, edi kaiko soup an pounded yam, garri, akpu, amala an,  an, emm, remind mi the Ghanians, cameronians, i mean africans'

these preserve our God given blood - superman, talkative, materialism, ego,fatness, petty tradin, quick money. an, beauty, succulent lips (only ladies oh), full specialty african bum, two full unic Blac head lights. an em beuatiful bulgin eyes like mine.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by mazaje(m): 11:25pm On Oct 22, 2006
Not in the defence of the white girls but just to correct some errors here. superman wrote

'Why not look at it this way! the reason why those white gals dnt accept your money or whatever when yall go out is because she dnt wana go against the slavery mentality . course in accordance to their believe they think they are superior being far more better than you! so what makes you think accepting your truly offering suggest she is better than a black woman'

Why will the white girl go out with a black guy in the frist place if she believes she is better than him? who told u because they are not accepting your money means they don't want to go against the slave mentality? i have lived with a white guy from russia before, i accomodated him feed him and gave him money he collected it whole heartedly and was  very happy for the help i rendered,(why didnt he go with the slave mentality and reject the help?) if she  doesnt want to go against the salve mentality she wouldnt go out with u in the first place. it seems u guys don't understand what am saying here. the orginator of this topic was trying to know why black guys in inter-racial relationships look down and talk bad about black women. and i tried to give her a sincere answer from my own experience and from the experince of people around me.One of the major reason is because black women are soo much into money which is not the case with white women, i told u of the white guys that came to me telling me of how the find the way their black girls ask them for money all the time strange, am not giving u my opinion here am stating the fact, black girls are  more  into money than the white girls(the request for money more) .and i also told u the reason why the act that way (because they were brought up that way) and just offered my lil advice to the black sisters on that issue. u don't have a white girl and u don't understand what am talking about, there must be a reason to why the originator of this trend choose this topic, she didnt just come up with the idea from no where, at least she  must have seen the way black guys that are involed in inter racial relationships look down and talk bad on black girls to come up with this topic. its happening here and thats the truth(most of the guys i know that are into that kind of relationship always tell me the black girls are more into money) i just gave the reasons and thats all. i never said the white girls are better than the black girls NO. i only tried to make her(the originator of this topic) understand why some black guys do that. super man u are the one that is so crazy because u have never dated a white girl before and u are just judging and talking based on sentiments. try to understan what am saying before u go on making silly comments and trying to insult me. silly[quote][/quote]
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 11:58pm On Oct 22, 2006
wha good does it make if any girl refuses mi money?
in as much as i wouldnt want a gold digger, i would never also want a lady who wouldnt accept mi gifts an money. what good will come out of a relationship wen only the lady spends- will it producce ego, egosi soup or amala or alibo? no respect but unfaithfulness an madam-boy relationship - she does the talk an rules while you the boy wash her undies an mop the floor. an the worst of it all- bath the dog, toilet the dog, fresh air the dog, feed the dog, an even let the rubbish dog sleep in bed or chair-rubbish. its irritatin how mi bros an sis in europe live with dogs because of the oyibo master/mistress
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by Sista(f): 12:01am On Oct 23, 2006
yaa ataa

I really appreciate the maturity in which you made this post. You talked about being young well for a young black woman such as your self, you have a lot of wisdom and I appreciate that in you. Your honest approach is well suited for nairaland, not enough people in here being honest.

Many black men are angry that they cannot provide for black women and I don't just mean materailsitically. Those black men are usually the kind who develop low self esteem because of personal issues they have. They are usually the ones who will go and get a white woman and then turn around and tell the black woman it is her fault, please, what cop out and what a ridiculous excuse. They are insecure and they have made their choice to be with a white woman based on their insecurities which jusitify's them to believe the hype, that hype being, white women are less of a problem. Getting a white woman prevents them from going the hard route in their view. The hard route being, they need to deal with their issues as a black man who is insecure and why as a black man they are insecure. For the insecure black man, it is much easier to get with woman who will not point out to him that he has issues.  

I am like you, any black man who is black, I am open to him. I do not connect on any level with men outside of the black man. I don't even connect with a black man who has been with white women, that is how bad I am. I don't want nothing to do with white, Asian or Hispanic as far as a romantic relationship is concerned. I am secure enough to know that all black men are not for me but one of them is and it is too many black men out there for me to be giving up on all of them that, beliveving the hype, which is, I will never get a good black man. Now that hype is a lie
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 12:09am On Oct 23, 2006
sista abi?

please i need you guys to correct all this one sided story - it look as a general problem among some Blacs. am Blac, yet i never dreamt of liquidatin my hard way by acceptin a white lady. some of us are incorruptible please. the blac blood still runs.

this problem is felt on both sides ;. i live here yet i feel the pain. its not just a woman thing but all
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 12:12am On Oct 23, 2006
you said you open sista abi? but you didnt say wha type of openess you mean.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by Sista(f): 12:21am On Oct 23, 2006
@Fresh B


If you want to talk about the black mans side, you can start a topic on that but now we are talking about black men who disrespect black women.


The percentage in which black women disrespecting black men is much lower in the percentage of black men who disrespect black women. Why? Because black women have not given up on the black man, however in some minimal cases, she has. She resorts to doing this in some cases because of the black man giving up on here she feels. For her, the only way to ensure that your man will not give up on you is to get a white man. Again, this is in her view, however, her view is not true the true view. Bottom line, black men and women are believing the hype. That hype is, if you want a better love get some one who is white. Black people who are insecure, they believe this hype and they use that hype to justify their choice. That way, they don't have to deal with their individual issues.  


modified: open means I don't discriminte against any black man as long as he is black, that is all that matters. We can get to know each other once it is established that he is black. When I look at him, I will know he is black grin
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by mazaje(m): 12:25am On Oct 23, 2006
@ sista
Am not in support of the white girls but i just said what i believe the problem is, instead of trying to defend what i feel needs to be changed the best way is for black sister to look for a way to be independent so that black guys wont accuse them and call them gold diggers which is mostly the case unless if u don't want to accept the truth
@ fresh B
no body is talking about a relationship in which only the girl spends i said in my experince with the white girls everything is 50/50 read up if u didnt get the message. no body will want to have a woman that is totally dependent on him too, else he  will disrespect her and treat her like his child, her opinion wont matter to him as times goes by and he will treat her with total disrespect because he is the 'provider', why is there so much polygamy in africa amongst the so called christians though their religoin doesnt accept it? is it not because their women totally depend on them to the extent they feel they are their parent and do what every they like to the extent of taking on other wives because the know they women are not independent and will still take them because they have no where else to go.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 12:31am On Oct 23, 2006
mazaje,
i could read you hav been sucked by these oyibo gals.
sorry oo. pls mind your language that Christians are into polygamy. say only what yu no pls.

how do yu guys with the dogs and snakes as pet in place of children? (dont take this personal, i just wan to no)
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by mazaje(m): 12:40am On Oct 23, 2006
fresh B
lol lol na wah for u ohhh
am serious am i still maintain that am not in support of the white girls just gave a very strong reason to prove what is really happening out here and u guys don't want to accept it which is really the truth. i have no dog or snake and my girl has non, even if she has its hers and she will take care of it not me. to ask u a question too(don't take it personal) how are u coping with the please i need 10,000naira to buy a dress because my sisters friend is getting married on friday, i need 20 thousand naira to pay the hospital bills of my cousin who had an accident last week, i please buy phone credit for me its been two day since last u bought one abi u no know your duty as a man again? i need answers to it too
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 12:58am On Oct 23, 2006
am on my asignment please.however id tell yu.

firstly, i must tell you that it is all about understandin. it is based on wha raport you got with your girl. if you claimed to hav much when you don't hav, you should expect the girl who thought you hav to ask - its no crime to ask. its no crime to be clean for you.- soup where sweet na money killam.

but where you told your potential girl the truth tha your father isnt the president of iran and ya uncle isnt mr bush, she wouldnt ask more than you got. you need to lov her an care for her. make her no when you hav, with tha she nos when you hav an when you don't. be open an she will be open

to tell you the truth, when i was in nigeria, i used to hav an angel who never fought with mi beacuse i told her all about mi an infact we had one purse but different accounts. it was infact on 50 / 50. i was always tryin to lov an care , while she was also tryin her best. she occassionally requested, i did as much as i could because she was my responsibility.

now tha we arent together, i still help her in anyway,( i can but not amorously please)
an don't ask mi y we arent tother - because tha doesnt mean we were fightin or unfaithful. it was peaceful for her good. its a different topic.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by BrownEyes4(f): 1:05am On Oct 23, 2006
@Sista

I hear you on that issue. To me i don't discriminate when it comes to the African man. I don't care if he has not got a brand name car, earning less than 20k a year, house sharing whith his mates etc. All i care about is that he respects our relationship.

I was dating a black man and as he hardly had any money i didnt mind paying for certain things but he didnt like it because it made him feel less of a man. African men do not like their women too be independent yet want to complain when the woman depends on him.

Those African men that come over and start dating white women are in fact glorified gigolos. When a woman starts paying you to sex her you have reached the bottom in my eyes. All those men that are dating a white woman and have the nerve to call their own African sisters money hungry are hypocrites. Those same men forget how their mothers had to find finance to feed them and put them through school during hard times.

In fact they should try an experiment. Stop sexing the white woman for lets say a month. Let's see whether she will be the same. Trust me she will be looking for the next black piece of wood that comes her way.
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 1:08am On Oct 23, 2006
huh, hum
ogal, your mouth badoo
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by BrownEyes4(f): 1:15am On Oct 23, 2006
@Fresh B

Most of the time my tongue is sugar coated kiss

Which subject are you working on for your assignment?
Re: Disrespect Of Black Women By Black Men by freshB2: 1:17am On Oct 23, 2006
yu wan help ya bros,?
diffusion of innovation
marketin

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