Like the Subject line says Are Nigerians Shallow?
If not then why is it that so many of us when choosing our mates insist that the monetary welfare of out mate be the most important?

Can someone help me solve this matrix, because it really numbs my bones when I hear people saying that money is what is important.
What ever happend to the Love that we need to have for one another. Please let us not get caught up in this monetary lifestyle that wealth supercedes all!

continue to generalize don't make money and expect pple to be ur friend, u go suffer!

not a matter of shallowness but life and mainly survivor of the fittest!!!

Im not broke person, infact im well to do but if this is the reason why my mate chooses me thats SHALLOW, and there will be a much greater chance this realtionship will fail.
So the purpose of life by[b] your[/b] standard is to try and acquire as much materialistic goods as you can?

Do you ever ask yourself why developed nations have such a prevalant divorce rates?
People get married for the wrong reasons, such as materialsim and the relationship ends up being a bust.
But if you love someone genuinely through, Thick and Thin, Poor or Rich, Walahi this relationship will indure the test of time.

You'll appreciate where most Naija is coming from if you grew up in Naija and your family has no access to government funds or into some shady business. The standard of living in developed countries allow you to make certain choices and withstand the social pressure.

I do appreciate my country. Infact Nigerians in Nigeria care less about materialistic goods, at least thatr is my foresight
When i was back home i mingled with the elite and poor irrespective of their social stature.

Some of the most educated and trully inspiring people i knew when i went back home were koboless. Not literraly offcourse, but figuratively.
I will not choose my mate based on her socio-economic status thats just it.

@ josboy

gud 4 u!

When in rome, do as the romans. It is the culture over here to pay the Bride price of your spouse before you can marry her, not coz you're buying her but thatz the way it is.

So if you cannot comply with the culture coz you feel it makes you shallow.
Then Become DEEP

Thank you Busta,
now if you dont want to help me find the answer to my question. well then,  forget about it!

relax guy and breathe

no hard feeling, we're in same city. Hope u're loaded sha

Oracle:

When in rome, do as the romans. It is the culture over here to pay the Bride price of your spouse before you can marry her, not because you're buying her but thatz the way it is.

So if you cannot comply with the culture because you feel it makes you shallow.
Then Become DEEP

I don't quite understand your post. Are you saying that Bride price, which I am very familiar with, is a custom to show you monetary prowess?

@ Busta
Haba why I go take internet forums to heart. Im very much into pyschology and sociology. (though im actually studying business , go figure)
I like to try and understand why money is soooooo damn important to people, that they will rate it as a number one criterium. Is it that hard to acquire?

comon naw, u live in canada, how do u survive without money, u get paid, and before 24 hrs, its all gone. U gotta pay ur rent, bills which is outrageous ( cell fone, landline, credit card, cable, fuel ur car, buy clothes to look good, don't fotget u gotta eat too and even express tolls)

now tell me, how one can survive without money. If it is naija, very understandable cos u get church or underbridge to sleep. But here, where u wan sleep? when snow beat the living day light outta u.

go figure guy, u dey T.O

JosBoy4Lif:

I don't quite understand your post. Are you saying that Bride price, which I am very familiar with, is a custom to show you monetary prowess?

Bride price also known as bride wealth or a dower is an amount of money or property or wealth "paid" to the parents of a woman for the right to marry their daughter. In the anthropological literature bride price has often been explained in market terms, as payment made in "exchange" for the bride's family's loss of her labor and fertility within her kin group.

From the definition we can see that the money is paid for the right to marry your partner, which also means that once this money is paid you are legally free to have your wife.

It is not to show your monetary prowess coz poor people get married too.
Thatz the way it has been and you shouldn't consider reviewing the constitution coz you think itz shallow.
Thatz what i'm saying

Busta:

comon naw, u live in canada, how do u survive without money, u get paid, and before 24 hrs, its all gone. U gotta pay your rent, bills which is outrageous ( cell phone, landline, credit card, cable, fuel your car, buy clothes to look good, don't fotget u gotta eat too and even express tolls)

now tell me, how one can survive without money. If it is naija, very understandable because u get church or underbridge to sleep. But here, where u wan sleep? when snow beat the living day light out of u.

go figure guy, u dey T.O

Trust i dont take my money and use it hand to mouth. This thread was not designed so as to say that all wordly possessions should be discarded. That is not my intention
I just want to understand why money is valued so very much. we know that money to live is not the money that iam discusing here, infact hell you can be Bill Gates and i could give a hoot. My question is that why do so many people believe that money supercedes all? People ruin good relationships because of money and that is just sad.

apparently, there's an answer u're waiting to hear and good luck finding that!

Im not trying to Re-write any book of sorts.
This whole notion of Bride price does not even concur with the question I asked.
Again why do some people believe that money supercedes all?

@ Busta
If you believe that money will satisy Love/Belonging needs (Maslow's hierarchy) it will not
Sure you can satisfy physiological and safety needs which you mentioned to me before, but that is a known fact and does not help in figuring out the answer
Which to me is still a mystery

@josboy4lif


I don't think Nigerians realize it because they are in their zombie state but they can be shallow, not all of the of them of course. This shallow thing amongst black people period is a growing epidemic.


Black people are trying to hard to equate, or reasonably equate to white people.


This is due to self hate. Let me brake down self hate in this context. If a black woman has a black man approach her in a nice way but he does not smell like money, (expensive cologne) or look like money (expensive clothes and a nice car) She will not treat him nicely and repsectfully, infact she will dismiss him with prejudice. As a black woman, if she is not open to giving a man who is not rich a chance to show her that he can love her, she is not open to loving her self. A black man who loves you should not be dismissed for another man who has money. The one with the money may not love you and if you love your self, you would love the one who loves you over money. If you love your man and he loves you, together you can both become rich if that is what you two desire.


Josboy, don't worry though, I am telling you that you will get a nice Nigerian woman who loves you for you and not what you have. You just hang in there. Good things come to hose who wait.

That generalization, to my mind, is hasty. Nigerians don't marry for money