Playing hard-to-get could be costly
By Kemi Ashefon
Published: Sunday, 3 May 2009

MABEL is young. She is pretty. She has got a great job and like bees to honey, every man desires her. In fact, she gets marriage proposals like the air she breathes. ”But that was in my prime,” she states. ”Then, I was between 24 and 25 years old and I had the world at my feet and I thought I could easily get a man whenever I was set for marriage. Ironically, I clocked 34 years two weeks ago and I am still as single as a tailor‘s needle.

”The last proposal was on my 26th birthday when Harry, a young lecturer proposed to me. I knew he wanted me badly and was always talking about life together. He had an aged mother who wanted him married. So imagine the pressure on me. My answer was always: ‘I need time.‘ Not that I didn‘t like him, I was also in love but how can I agree to a proposal from a guy so cheaply?

”I thought I should play hard-to-get a bit and allow him know that he had other contenders. How wrong I was. By the time I kept him waiting for six months, he stopped coming and calling. Initially, I thought it was a joke but when it was almost a year and I saw a friend of his, I knew the game was up. Harry got married to another woman. His friend told me that he thought I didn‘t love him and had to get married. Though I am still pretty, I am frantically searching for a mate.”

Maybe Kike shares same agony with Mabel. Just 30, she is a civil servant and very single. She explains, ”I am also a contractor and that gives me a certain level of comfort unlike some of my colleagues. By the time I completed my youth service in Abuja five years ago, I had already bought a car and I live in a choice area in town.

”Knowing that I could command any man‘s attention, I was not ready to be tied down with anyone until I clocked 27 years. Then, I thought two years was a long time in a woman‘s life and that I could enjoy my life and make a good choice of men. I had many men asking for my hand in marriage, especially in my church but I was always with an excuse on why I could not date them.

”But Sunday, a colleague of mine, persisted. He was always calling, visiting and was on my neck for a whole year. Though I liked him, I was not just ready for marriage yet. I was enjoying the attention of other men and other ‘fringe benefits.‘ I asked for a three-month-period to ‘think about‘ Sunday‘s proposal and he agreed. I was playing hard-to-get so that he would appreciate me.

”When the three months lapsed, I asked for another six weeks. Suddenly, he stopped calling and when the six weeks lapsed I called him. He did not pick his call. I did this for two weeks and got the same answer. A week after, he called me, thanked me and said he met a former girlfriend, who was willing to marry him. He said he realised he now loved her and they are preparing to wed.”

Henrietta is 42. She is an architect and works in a federal ministry in Abuja. ”To think that I served here, worked here and still single is unbelievable,” she says. ”I have lost count of the many suitors I had when I was a youth corps member. They came in droves and I was scared. There was this particular guy who was ready to marry me before I ended my service but I was scared.

”I was just 23, pretty and had not known the world. I told him to give me time, which he did. Along the line, another guy came but he was richer and ready to take me abroad for further studies. I thought of my mother (a widow) and how she would feel if I left her. So, I just played a fast one on him, collected his gifts and refused his offer.

”I almost ended up as a second wife to an army general during the military era. I got landed property, cars and foreign trips from him. He was quite generous and was ready to marry me but my problem was his wife. She threatened to kill me if I attempted marrying her husband and I decided being a mistress.

”Maybe the period of nursing the man and meeting his needs saw me growing older. I had no time for younger suitors and realised that I was in my early 30s. Then, I tried making myself available to other men but I had already been tagged ‘General‘s wife‘ and none wanted me. Though alive, I have called off the affair with him (heard he is dating a youth corps member) and I have resorted to getting a good husband from the church I now attend.”

Comments:


* My brother when u leave the shores of nigeria and meet women overseas you may not like dis our sisters that are looking for MR Rich!How can a sick person help a dyeing fellow?.This is just common in nija, materialism, in Overseas You will see a Mechanic marry a Medical doctor,and thats her choice she even appreciate him more than any man around, please nija girls lets see our men as for better for worse.

Posted by: maximus, australia , on Sunday, May 03, 2009

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* After messing up with a General, she is trying to get a good husband from her church. Probably, it may be a Penticostal Church. Which unfortunate man will that be? One man put it this way: "Some women hide in Penticostal Churches after committing atrocities," What a pity?

Posted by: Baron , on Sunday, May 03, 2009

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* All 3 women in dis story have one thing in common, greed!They didn't want to get married becos they waiting for 'Mr. RIGHT' who would be rich/wealthy(for obvious reasons!),connected,powerful,handsome,single & in fact, 'ready-made'. Such a man dosen't exist. There is no mr. right. Now they are complainig after too much yanga & shakara. Serves them right! Maybe next time a poor, struggling,young man approaches,they'll think twice b4 doing anymore shakara. Serves them right!

Posted by: Jex , on Sunday, May 03, 2009

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* All 3 women in dis have one thing in common, greed!They didn't want to get married becos they waiting for 'Mr. RIGHT' who would be rich/wealthy(for obvious reasons!),connected,powerful,handsome,single & in fact, 'ready-made'. Such a man dosen't exist. There is no mr. right. Now they are complainig after too much yanga & shakara. Serves them right! Maybe next time a poor, struggling,young approaches,they'll think twice b4 doing anymore shakara. Serves them right!

Posted by: Jex , on Sunday, May 03, 2009

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art2009050223464118

Could also be neccesary, works both ways son

@ Topic, Tell them Loooooong thing won't take you anywhere

This is a matter of relativity. It has worked for some in times past, while it has not worked for others. That said, these cases should not be used as a scare tactics for ladies. Although some ladies can be arrogant and condescending when it comes to guys asking them out. Whether it boosts their self esteem/ego I simply cannot phantom.

Personally for me any lady who feels she wants to delay beyond necessary, I simply move on. No point in giving undue attention when I still intend to shower her all my attention. If she feels I am worth the wait for no genuine reason, I move on.

I think a wake-up call that should be messaged out from these kind of stories for either sex is that; what you have to do, do it quick. Time indeed waits for no one! And time is no respecter of persons in anyway.

Playing Hard-to-get Could Be Costly

YES! EXPENSIVE! I know alot of ladies like that in Lagos! I pity them and shake heads,

This applies to mostly the ladies that wish to pursue their career first before marriage

hahahaha! then @ 34. She is rich! but no Husband! Sucks for them!

The funniest thing is that men will think they are already married so they rarely get attention.

Girls/Ladies! Its time to SOJI yourself. If you dey do GRAGRA!!! You go turn Don MAMA J

nah lie abeg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Na wa. I've always wondered why some chicks I know are still single despite all their degrees and $$$$. I guess some people think that they have power over time. There are soooo many people in the world and everyone might have their audience, but it is hard to find a mate that fits you hand in glove o. VERY hard. Its not just a thing of snapping the fingers and one will appear. This goes for both men and women. Good women hard to find also oo. Trust me, I can tell you this. My advice is don't take anyone for granted just because you think you have power over time.

So true, so true.

I thank God for my mama's gene sha "looking" like a young[i]ies[/i] is one of the available remedy to counter this

Make more threads giving these morons reasons to bash Naija women the more, sho gbo JJYOU.

It's one thing to play hard to get with someone you actually like, that oe doesnt make sense to me, well itb doesnt make sense if it goes on longer than like a couple of weeks, It's another when you dont even like the person and people expect you to say Yes cos of age. Lame.

anyway I know this thread will soon be filled with the usual chuvanistic pigs cheering each other on like goats on heat so i bid adieu

I dont think its got anything to do with playing hard to get, If you like the person you give him a chance, but it the lady is not feeling you dont stress it, period!!

ThiefOfHearts:

Make more threads giving these morons reasons to bash Naija women the more, sho gbo JJYOU.

It's one thing to play hard to get with someone you actually like, that oe doesnt make sense to me, well itb doesnt make sense if it goes on longer than like a couple of weeks, It's another when you dont even like the person and people expect you to say Yes cos of age. Lame.

anyway[b] I know this thread will soon be filled with the usual chuvanistic pigs cheering each other on like goats on heat [/b]so i bid adieu

I hate it wen u keep talking about me behind my back, sho gbo pele pele o

Is anyone begging this naija girls, like they alwayz say you learn the easy way or the hard way

thank God m not in naija to deal with their bullshit

jalether:

Is anyone begging this naija girls, like they alwayz say you learn the easy way or the hard way

thank God m not in naija to deal with their bullshit

Lol, but yu can't deny there some cuties out there!!
Naija babes are hot, You just have to come with your A game to get down with most,which is a good thing for a man too.

Still finding it hard to take someone with the ID "F u up" seriously

jalether:

thank God m not in naija to deal with their bullshit

yeah, go ahead n tell us indirectly u r based abroad

FL Gators!:

Still finding it hard to take someone with the ID "F u up" seriously

Lol, what does my id got to do with the Subject bro?

FL Gators!:

Still finding it hard to take someone with the ID "F u up" seriously

and i think you should take me serious cos i might actually F u up

Lol, what does my id got to do with the Subject bro?

and i think you should take me serious cos[b] i might actually F u up[/b]

So yu want to f up a bro?
Ku ise o

lol, now dont twist it!!!
back to the subject whats your view?

My views?
Now what do you think I'd say

This article sounds like a typical Naija one, and I don't really know what's up with Naija babes and this hard-to-get thing. Here, you walk up to a lady, she already knows what she wants, she says yes or no and that's it! God bless America!

FL Gators!:

My views?
Now what do you think I'd say

I bet you're the type that will say P*** Off after 2nd try, lol

Push off?

loyeruope:

This article sounds like a typical Naija one, and I don't really know what's up with Naija babes and this hard-to-get thing. Here, you walk up to a lady, she already knows what she wants, she says yes or no and that's it! God bless America!

Yeah, Yeah, Naija men dont take NO easily like that,
When we see something hot, we'll keep going on and on

loyeruope:

This article sounds like a typical Naija one, and I don't really know what's up with Naija babes and this hard-to-get thing. Here, you walk up to a lady, she already knows what she wants, she says yes or no and that's it! God bless America!

abi,if they reject u,others will accept u.there r millions of women all over d world.

The best advice my mother ever gave me: "Always act like a lady, but date like a man."

If there was a man I didn't particularly care for, but I found him sexually attractive, I might have sex with him or keep him as a "friend with benefits", while still dating. If I found a man I actually liked and thought we may have some longevity together-he is the one I made wait for the nookie!

You can't blame women for playing hard to get since men always act like they have the attention span of a 4 year old if you give the p_ssy up too fast. If I make him wait, and give him something to look forward to by teasing or heavy kissing, petting, etc.-I've learned it drives them crazy! They'll be intrigued enough to want to know more about this woman before lying down with you. That's not to say they won't still try their luck, but I think the respect factor is there more than ever. Now if he can't wait until I'm comfortable enough to go on that level with him-then he wasn't the guy for me anyways!

@ IyaKadijat

You mentioned: "If I found a man I actually liked and thought we may have some longevity together-he is the one I made wait for the nookie!"

I've always wondered why chicks do this to the good guys who they know would treat them right and all. Can you please shed some light on this?

Thanks

so she'd have your respect duh.

Re: Playing Hard-to-get Could Be Costly

It would be costly for people who do not know how to play it well.

stillwater:

It would be costly for people who do not know how to play it well.

why "play" it in the first place?

davidylan:

why "play" it in the first place?

Some of us have to analyse first before venturing into anything.