Precisely, on 31st March, 2013 I asked my now ex to marry me. Not in some fancy restaurant, shopping mall or some heaven on earth theatrical setting. It was via a phone call. Surprisingly, we had never met in person! What madness!! Did she accept??

Love they say is like a butterfly, it perches wherever it wants. It's like a lion, it devours whoever that comes his way. How we fall in love at times is mysterious. We seldom have control in matters of the heart. This is how I felt the day I saw her picture carrying a child. Her little nephew. I love kids to a fault. In that split moment I told her how I wished it was our son she was carrying. That remark set aglow our hearts.

Initially, she doubted my sincerity. She had been hurt not once, twice but severally. Worse still she has a medical condition. A condition she erroneously thought will forever rob her of love. Hence her skepticism. Furthermore, my reputation with 'the ladies' on some social network we had met some years earlier was daunting. I had to prove my sincerity. I had to win her love.

As am typing this, my alarm just beeped! Its October 24th- the day I had slated for our introduction. Alas! It was never to be. Our love could not survive the divide. The 'hypocrisy' of the church has prevailed. I cannot believe am still hurting this bad. Maybe I was in a hurry to have ended it all. This is my story. Our story.

After the initial 'gragra' women exhibit we settled into a beautiful but distant relationship. She was based in Lagos, I in Port Harcourt. Days became weeks, and weeks months before our first physical encounter. I did first visit as a gent. We had wild fun!! Then came the moment of truth; a visit to her kit and kin to intimate them of my intention. Her brother-in law gave me his word. The only snag which was to destroy all we labored to build -the church! she is catholic, am protestant. She is Igbo am Ijaw.

True to his word, her brother-in law accompanied me to see her parents in her hometown- some community in Imo State. I was well received. Such a loving home. I made my intentions known with all seriousness. It's no child's play explaining while you consider a man's daughter worth more than other women to him. Thankfully, the son in-law gave me all the necessary support. However, convincing a retired teacher, a respected and unrepentant staunch catholic requires more than fancy words. I left that home with mixed feelings. Her father had plainly told me what mixed marriage entails. My wife and children will become 'properties of the catholic church'. It was non-negotiable.

I sought the advice of family members, and my pastor. All were of the opinion that her father's stance undermines my role as the head of our future family. Personally, I saw it as an 'indirect rule'. I enlisted one or two of her siblings, her mum inclusive to get her father to shift grounds. The old man wouldn't bulge. At my fiancee's suggestion I paid her uncle a scheduled visit. A Priest in some parish at Owerri. His stance was same as his elder brother's; convert to Catholicism or accept the terms of mixed marriage.

I was devastated. More so by my fiancee's shifting positions. Today she's all by my side, tomorrow she wants me to please her father. I saw it more as a character weakness than a woman drawn between love and the hands that fed her. Perhaps, it was a miscalculation on my part. She had her flaws. Mine was so glaring. But i found in her the woman of my dreams.

In the midst of this storm I had boldly gone ahead to fix today, October 24th my introduction day. I had called my Pastor to inform him, and a couple of family members. This decision was informed after my now ex had told me her siblings and other family members had prevailed on her father to soft pedal on his stance. He unbelievably agreed. So i thought. Until I made one more call!

The old man true to his principled nature remained unchanged. It was a blow too devastating to bear. I saw a relationship of over two years with countless sacrifices on both sides evaporate on the grounds of dogma. It hurts so bad to have met that special one only to realize you can not be with them for eternity. Should I have converted for love? That would have betrayed love itself. Love is without condition(s). Should I have settled for mixed marriage? Its unbearable! It's my responsible to provide both spiritual and physical nourishment for my future family.

So, it was only appropriate I let love go. If she finds her way back to me. I had be most fortunate not lucky. Fortune befriends the bold. A life of service to all humanity now beckons . It's a call I must answer. Who knows love maybe around the corner. Love knows no religious boundaries. Let's spread the glad tidings of ecumenism.

Are u putting a final full stop to ur love story? Given up hope already?

Is this a handout or something? Op, were u not taught summary in school? Catchy topic but I'll pass


The papa no be here

Hmm , NOLLYWOOD movies is improving.

Awwww!

Christians and their mini wahala;which one is catholic and protestant again?

thanks so much for sharing, will read the story later.

My brother, if the man is not ready to accept to your own terms please move on, love and marriage is not a do or die affair. It will be a failure on your part for your family to be ran based on the dictates of another man, what is d guarantee that principle imposition will only be limited to the church your wife and children will attend? Your fiancee too is not helping matters, when she is truely ready to marry you she will take her stand and face her parent......gals plenty out dia, marry the one dat does not come with terms and conditions.....wish you the best in life

Hannysmilez:
Christians and their mini wahala;which one is catholic and protestant again?

. Catholics are the Popes People,,, Protestants are The IPOB Biafra people protesting.

You are hurting and for that I empathize with you. My story is strikingly similar to yours. I am based in Lagos, she in PH; I am Catholic, she is technically not a Catholic. Our Introduction was fixed for the 27th of August, 2015 but this was never to be, as today we aren't togethert, and like you, I was crushed by this realisation.

However, a notable difference between you and I is that I have since gone past my hurt and I do not particularly hold anyone or group, be it individuals, Church or family, responsible for our not being together today. I simply took it as God's will. If indeed God had willed that she be my wife, we would still be together today.

The truth is, if you are looking to get married and bring up your children as Protestants, I would advise that you do not waste your time with Catholic ladies who cherish their faith, for it is something that they are prepared to give their life for, let alone give it up so cheaply for the sake of marriage.

I am a Catholic and I do not see myself given up my faith for anyone. It is too precious a gift. Your story is quite sad and from the standpoint of one who has that experience, though in reverse, I understand your hurt perfectly. When I was hurting, I felt physical pains in my heart, for which the scars are still there even though I have gone past it.

Thence, I urge you, in the strongest terms possible, to move on. Moving on is never easy but it brings in its wake, a healing we cannot fathom. Crying over spilt milk is never worth it. Pick yourself up and find love again. This time, get someone you are compatible with in totality, to include a compatibility of faith.

This op sounds like a weakling.Gosh!

If she was your destined wife you would have her by you now.

Your wife will come.

I thought we are christains...



Why the segregation? Chei wat the lord will judge on d judgement day no be here....

Didn't read....but I'll get married to an hausa woman....I so love hausa...I'll take her to imo state nd I'll luve her and kiss her and cherish her and cuddle her and..........the hell outta her


Inaso raa nwanyi hausa

Am soo sorry bro..its really painful man.
If I was you, I'll do the marriage the catholic way and get the love of my life first.( Afterall it's the same God we serve). Then when I take her home, I can do whatever I want and they have to follow.
All this dogmas and traditions and shiiit..
My friends elder bro wanted to marry this girl, he's being with her for 3 years and there were soo into each other, but when the time came, her parents refused. You know why? Because the elder sister had not married so she has to wait for the elder sister to marry first. Lol

missyadorable:
This op sounds like a weakling.Gosh!

And you sound like what? A super hero I guess, op when it comes to people's faith some joke with it others hold on strong to it, is good both parties made their stands known and such issues not coming up after the wedding that is when it becomes a bigger problem, since no compromise could be reached is Best both parties move ahead. Guess it was never to be.

Touching!

Awww!!!!

So touching a story..
Dust yourself and move on, the best awaits you....

Religion - It's always resulting in problems

Why don't you just get married to her and ignore whatever religious affiliation you both have? Religion does more harm than good

missyadorable:
This op sounds like a weakling.Gosh!

True love weakens our emotions. OP sounds "in love"

OP, I'm going to share two stories briefly with you.
1. June-July 2013, a suitor approached me - he was directed by some of my relatives. But my mum said NO!, same reasons: he is Catholic, I am Anglican. My dad was indifferent. He was an OK guy and all but personally I wasn't feeling him enough to push. So everything went.
But here is one thing the guy told me I really respect. He said we can go to any church other than ours to wed. Not that he has anything against my church but that me taking him to my church would break him as a man.
My point is changing church for a woman "would break you as a man". I mean, who is going to run the home, you or her dad?

2. My cousin changed his church to Catholic church for his girl. I don't have a problem with church, but I personally think its a girl that should accept the guys people, customs, religion etc

Mcheewww na girl wey Neva reach 30 dey consider whether u be Catholic or penti, my aunt who is a staunch Catholic married a winner member at age 31,she for nor gree na, make the God of shiloh perform miracle.
Bros she was Neva your s

Op you made the right choice...i have found myself involved in such religious dogma once b4 and I broke free with no regrets. It hurts when people don't let love win, but then, people with these kind of dogmatic beliefs can quickly turn sweet love into sumthn regrettably sour.

A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage... Cheers

Uhn? ??