Hi All!
This is my first time I seek an advice online.
I hope i can find some answers here.
My situation is very complicated but i will try to make it clear.

I live with a man I've met 4 years ago. He was married and had 2 kids and I knew it from the beginning. But him & I started to love each other. More over he was telling me that he doesnt love his wife etc. I then was still talking to my X boyfriend who was living in a different country (not far) because deep inside i was not trusting that the married man would ever divorse. So he found out on my fone i was talking to my x and it cracked his trust big time.

He couldnt forgive me that, and told me he doesnt want me anymore. For almost 11 months i was hoping, begging him to get back to me but he was clear he doesnt want me, he cant forgive me and he will stay with his family. So right before he went to visit his wife and kids to his home country (we are both expats in the middle east where we've met), he told that we can try again, but i didnt feel it was sincere. I thought he said it so Im not hurt while he is there with his wife & kids. While he was away with his family i completely lost my hope that he will get back to me and i got involved with another man, and got pregnant. I was so hurt and wanted to start ny life without the man i love & forget him.

Upon his return I was not pregnant yet but got pregnant in less then a month and as a solution i got married with the man i was pregnant from. The man I love had to move to another country where i was supposed to live with my husband and he brought his family wife & kids. But while i was married we never stop talking. We would miss each other, yet fight a lot, blame each other for the situation wevwere in etc he asked me to get back to him and that he would give his name to my child. I filed a divorce after 2 months of my marriage and divorced and he promissed me he would do the same. It all happened pretty quick by the way in 6 months period. Since the time he webt to his country when u gkt involved with another man and to the time i filed a divorce it took 6 monnths only.

He sent his family back home in 3 months, i gave birth and as he promised he gave his name to my child. We started to live together. But it was not a happy life: there were moments when he would none stop blame me, question me about many details etc because he wouldnt understand how was i able tocheat on him and get pregnant etc?

It has been 2 years since im divorced, he is still married. Yes he had 2 kids and it is more complicated for him to divorce then it was for me. Like he says i need to get things situated and everything right before i file divorce. But in 6 months after my divorce he filed legal separation with his wife and i saw that paper. He said that court will still give him time to save his family because thet were married over 23 years and have 2 kids. With legal separation should not take long time.

We didnt have problems in sex life but for the last maybe 6 months or so we have it very rearly. I dont and he doesnt try making love. In fact sorry for being so open, but there were few times he went soft while we were making love. It worried me and he said it is because he still holds ab anger towards me, and my past eats him inside.

He stop asking me things about my past since a year ago but i just came to visit my mom to another country and he started to talk about my past again, again questions and again blaming. He saif because by wuestioining him i open up my past. He does not believe me that i did not enjoy sex with my x husband. And he says im a liar and i need to close that chapter by being honest with him about it. But every time i would tell the truth about something i would regret big time because he would blame me for that every chance he has!

Today he said he cant take it anymore, he has no feelings yet very angry with me. I must confess that recently i was not paying much attention to him, and he wasnt either. I would be jelouse yes, because living with a married man is not easy at all. Your mind is not settled, always in fear. He hates it when i question him when im jelouse, he thinks i have no right to question because i messed up the whole situation by getting involved with another man, getting pregnant etc

He has no trust at all. But i also think he maybe doesnt want to divorce OR has another woman he likes/involved with. He said Im an idiot that I dont understand him etc.

Im so confused, hurt and i cant go through another break with him. Yes i didnt fulfill my promise to fix issues but i wanted it both ways although he doesnt think so bcoz I was the one who cheated on him and he never had sex with his wife or another woman since he met me.


I hope to find an advice here on HOW to save my relations with him as i do not, do not want to loose him at all!

Thank you in advance.

You are breaking another mans family by shacking and trying to get back to him

Also naming your baby after him, please what kind of weed are you on

My sympathy to that innocent baby

Gerrrrrraaaaoutttt of here!

I live with a man I've met 4 years ago. He was married and had 2 kids and I knew it from the beginning. But him & I started to love each other. More over he was telling me that he doesnt love his wife etc. I then was still talking to my X boyfriend

didnt read further, but i'm sure others will, and can offer you whatever advice you're here for.

Nna eh this story tire me oh

I don't mean to be rude but this is crazy. Jeeez, what type of madness is this. Madam, you're delusional to think that he'll ever divorce his wife for ur sake. You divorced your own husband because of a man who is already married with two kids and you expect to live happily ever after. It's either you are possessed or the law of karma has caught up with you. Either way, you need deliverance.

Frommena:


He has no trust at all. But i also think he maybe doesnt want to divorce OR has another woman he likes/involved with He said Im an idiot that I dont understand him etc.


Thank you in advance.

My dear, please believe HIM. He is 100% right about the bolded.

Madam u re a compound abi Yard ediot!!

U re happy destroying another woman's home nd u want to be happy..

All I can deduce from ur empty head is that u love the way he Forks!! U.
Guess he Forks u like mungo park on an acceleration BMW can't go but ur name is still Ediot b4 I finish..

That man is going to fork away everything in that ur scratchy pus5y nd dump u like the tissue u use when u visit the toilet..

Lastly, may ur grammar choke u to death, Husband snatcher morafucker..

Sleep don already catch me sef

It was very wrong for you to have even have an affair with a married man and be thinking he would divorce his wife to be with you
how would you feel if you are the wife??
Dear you don't really need a married man to be happy
would suggest you quit the relationship take care of your baby with time you would find true love this to my understanding is just infatuation not love
wish you the best

Frommena:
Hi All!
This is my first time I seek an advice online.
I hope i can find some answers here.
My situation is very complicated but i will try to make it clear.
I live with a man I've met 4 years ago. He was married and had 2 kids and I knew it from the beginning. But him & I started to love each other. More over he was telling me that he doesnt love his wife etc. I then was still talking to my X boyfriend who was living in a different country (not far) because deep inside i was not trusting that the married man would ever divorse. So he found out on my fone i was talking to my x and it cracked his trust big time.
He couldnt forgive me that, and told me he doesnt want me anymore. For almost 11 months i was hoping, begging him to get back to me but he was clear he doesnt want me, he cant forgive me and he will stay with his family. So right before he went to visit his wife and kids to his home country (we are both expats in the middle east where we've met), he told that we can try again, but i didnt feel it was sincere. I thought he said it so Im not hurt while he is there with his wife & kids. While he was away with his family i completely lost my hope that he will get back to me and i got involved with another man, and got pregnant. I was so hurt and wanted to start ny life without the man i love & forget him.
Upon his return I was not pregnant yet but got pregnant in less then a month and as a solution i got married with the man i was pregnant from. The man I love had to move to another country where i was supposed to live with my husband and he brought his family wife & kids. But while i was married we never stop talking. We would miss each other, yet fight a lot, blame each other for the situation wevwere in etc he asked me to get back to him and that he would give his name to my child. I filed a divorce after 2 months of my marriage and divorced and he promissed me he would do the same. It all happened pretty quick by the way in 6 months period. Since the time he webt to his country when u gkt involved with another man and to the time i filed a divorce it took 6 monnths only.
He sent his family back home in 3 months, i gave birth and as he promised he gave his name to my child. We started to live together. But it was not a happy life: there were moments when he would none stop blame me, question me about many details etc because he wouldnt understand how was i able tocheat on him and get pregnant etc?
It has been 2 years since im divorced, he is still married. Yes he had 2 kids and it is more complicated for him to divorce then it was for me. Like he says i need to get things situated and everything right before i file divorce. But in 6 months after my divorce he filed legal separation with his wife and i saw that paper. He said that court will still give him time to save his family because thet were married over 23 years and have 2 kids. With legal separation should not take long time.
We didnt have problems in sex life but for the last maybe 6 months or so we have it very rearly. I dont and he doesnt try making love. In fact sorry for being so open, but there were few times he went soft while we were making love. It worried me and he said it is because he still holds ab anger towards me, and my past eats him inside.
He stop asking me things about my past since a year ago but i just came to visit my mom to another country and he started to talk about my past again, again questions and again blaming. He saif because by wuestioining him i open up my past. He does not believe me that i did not enjoy sex with my x husband. And he says im a liar and i need to close that chapter by being honest with him about it. But every time i would tell the truth about something i would regret big time because he would blame me for that every chance he has!
Today he said he cant take it anymore, he has no feelings yet very angry with me. I must confess that recently i was not paying much attention to him, and he wasnt either. I would be jelouse yes, because living with a married man is not easy at all. Your mind is not settled, always in fear. He hates it when i question him when im jelouse, he thinks i have no right to question because i messed up the whole situation by getting involved with another man, getting pregnant etc
He has no trust at all. But i also think he maybe doesnt want to divorce OR has another woman he likes/involved with. He said Im an idiot that I dont understand him etc.
Im so confused, hurt and i cant go through another break with him. Yes i didnt fulfill my promise to fix issues but i wanted it both ways although he doesnt think so bcoz I was the one who cheated on him and he never had sex with his wife or another woman since he met me.
I hope to find an advice here on HOW to save my relations with him as i do not, do not want to loose him at all!
Thank you in advance.

What an evil narration.

You've come on here seeking advice on how to break up a twenty-three year old marriage and you think you deserve happiness??

I got pregnant by another man...

I gave up at this point. OP, good luck to you abeg.

okpari, no advice. sorry

I can't read French. English is our official language here.

Yomieluv:
I can't read French. English is our official language here.

Try reading with a french dictionary, it may help a little


The story no get dimension

Oh, you are daydreaming about breaking up a twenty three year old marriage?

Good luck in your endeavour, no jam go slow on your way oh!




Frustration will just finish some people, seems many are typing from that angle.

@Frommena

I believe that you need to work on yourself before you can fix a relationship or build a healthy relationship in the first place.

You were jumping from man to man, marrying, having a baby, divorcing, having another baby for a married man, thinking of the next marriage etc.

It seems that you are not able to be alone and happy. If you can't be alone and happy, you won't be in ANY relationship.

Sort yourself out FIRST and everything else will follow and fall into place.

I am sure this is not the kind of advice you came here for but there is no way you can save this relationship and become happy if you do not take PROPER care of yourself FIRST.

bellong:


My dear, please believe HIM. He is 100% right about the bolded.

Bellong, I saw your post this morning where you quoted me and I wanted to reply but the thread has been closed since people are unable to have civil discussions. What a pity.

I agree with what you wrote there 100%. I would have loved to take the discussion further but you know what happened and why.

Have a blessed Sunday.

Mindfulness:


Bellong, I saw your post this morning where you quoted me and I wanted to reply but the thread has been closed since people are unable to have civil discussions. What a pity.

I agree with what you wrote there 100%. I would have loved to take the discussion further but you know what happened and why.

Have a blessed Sunday.

Thanks... Have a blessed Sunday too.

I'm sorry I couldn't finish it. I was about bursting a vein but realized you were in 'love', a dreadful kind of love. It is well o.

sisisioge:
I'm sorry I couldn't finish it. I was about bursting a vein but realized you were in 'love', a dreadful kind of love. It is well o.

Those kind one you will always go back to no matter what

God save me from this kind of devilish love
Even worse cos the man knows you can't go no where
On top divorcing cos he wants you back?
Dreadful love really

i managed against all odds to finish your tale...




I think you are heartless acted selfishly and dont know what love is,,, i pity you a bit because its obvious the married fool your involved with took advantage of your ignorance and vulnerabilty..




Your case is so complex i dont even know what to advice,,, forget about anything called love now, focus on your self development and the baby.... Women atimes unbelievable




#educationisindeedpower

This one pass first to comment oooo, Na God go help you.. So so complicated

I should of expect these kind of "advices" just because he is married.

I just wanted to let you know, that I did not come to his life to break his family. When he started approcaching me he told me he had issues with his wife, he doesnt love her and is planning to divorce. My mistake is that I believed him. I would never want to be on her shoes (if my husband works abroad and live with another woman). But he has been assuring me all this time, more over, my divorce was not just my decision, what i mean to say is that: he wanted to stop me from getting maried, later on he pushed me for it swearing and promising many things including divorce.

So, yeah, I should of wait until he divorces his wife rather then start any relations. But i didnt, i made a mistake and now it is too complicated, many things and feelings are involved to just walk away from him.

Mindfulness:
@Frommena

I believe that you need to work on yourself before you can fix a relationship or build a healthy relationship in the first place.

You were jumping from man to man, marrying, having a baby, divorcing, having another baby for a married man, thinking of the next marriage etc.

It seems that you are not able to be alone and happy. If you can't be alone and happy, you won't be in ANY relationship.

Sort yourself out FIRST and everything else will follow and fall into place.

I am sure this is not the kind of advice you came here for but there is no way you can save this relationship and become happy if you do not take PROPER care of yourself FIRST.

Thank you for the advice!

Yes i am afraid and dont want to be alone. And i dont handle break up very well.

What I actually want to understand is if he really loves and want to be with me..

Frommena:


Thank you for the advice!

Yes i am afraid and dont want to be alone. And i dont handle break up very well.

You're very welcome.

@bold

You ALREADY are ALONE else you would not seek advice from strangers online but confide in your mate.

The reason why you are unable to cope with break up well is that you BELIEVE that a relationship will make you feel better BUT this isn't the case obviously. I am not telling you to break up, all I am saying is that you need to find ways to be HAPPY and JOYFUL regardless the circumstances you find yourself in, in your relationship(s). See, the problem is that your unhappiness and inability to find happiness within yourself infects your relationships with men. You need to find PLEASURE, HAPPINESS and JOY within yourself and then you will experience it in relationships. I promise you.

I wish you all the best.

Frommena:
I should of expect these kind of "advices" just because he is married.

I just wanted to let you know, that I did not come to his life to break his family. When he started approcaching me he told me he had issues with his wife, he doesnt love her and is planning to divorce. My mistake is that I believed him. I would never want to be on her shoes (if my husband works abroad and live with another woman). But he has been assuring me all this time, more over, my divorce was not just my decision, what i mean to say is that: he wanted to stop me from getting maried, later on he pushed me for it swearing and promising many things including divorce.

So, yeah, I should of wait until he divorces his wife rather then start any relations. But i didnt, i made a mistake and now it is too complicated, many things and feelings are involved to just walk away from him.

No?

So what did you "come" into his life for, knowing fully well he was married with kids? To get cooking tips?

Re: Your last sentence, he never was, never is, and never will be yours to "walk away from". Don't you get it? How hard can it be for you to understand? Go get your own man jare.

Mindfulness:


You're very welcome.

@bold

You ALREADY are ALONE else you would not seek advice from strangers online but confide in your mate.

The reason why you are unable to cope with break up well is that you BELIEVE that a relationship will make you feel better BUT this isn't the case obviously. I am not telling you to break up, all I am saying is that you need to find ways to be HAPPY and JOYFUL regardless the circumstances you find yourself in, in your relationship(s). See, the problem is that your unhappiness and inability to find happiness within yourself infects your relationships with men. You need to find PLEASURE, HAPPINESS and JOY within yourself and then you will experience it in relationships. I promise you.

I wish you all the best.

She shouldn't be seeking Joy, Happiness, and Pleasure at the expense of others. She'll only be "happy" if she succeeds in breaking up that man's home.

@Frommena: You should know that a man would say anything to get between your legs and the classic I'm having issues with my wife...my wife doesn't understand me...I'm going to get a divorce from her are all classical, but tired old lines aimed at the gullible.

EfemenaXY:


She shouldn't be seeking Joy, Happiness, and Pleasure at the expense of others. She'll only be "happy" if she succeeds in breaking up that man's home.

My dearest, I am not saying she should do so at the expense of others. And the happiness that I am talking about does not depend on the relationship with him or anyone else.

@Frommena: You should know that a man would say anything to get between your legs and the classic I'm having issues with my wife...my wife doesn't understand me...I'm going to get a divorce from her are all classical, but tired old lines aimed at the gullible.

Frommena:
I should of expect these kind of "advices" just because he is married.

I just wanted to let you know, that I did not come to his life to break his family. When he started approcaching me he told me he had issues with his wife, he doesnt love her and is planning to divorce. My mistake is that I believed him. I would never want to be on her shoes (if my husband works abroad and live with another woman). But he has been assuring me all this time, more over, my divorce was not just my decision, what i mean to say is that: he wanted to stop me from getting maried, later on he pushed me for it swearing and promising many things including divorce.

So, yeah, I should of wait until he divorces his wife rather then start any relations. But i didnt, i made a mistake and now it is too complicated, many things and feelings are involved to just walk away from him.

What do you want us to do for you sweetie?

Or what do you want us to do for whoever's story this is?

The worst mistake you did is to divorce a husband for this cheat, (at his request) that was a time you should have ran for your life

The other worst mistake you did is to ever get involved with a married man( he will never leave his wife for you)

Did you ever seek advice then, ( from family, friends, stranger) because my gal, you are in for a roller coaster.

First and foremost erase this married man out of your memory once and for all.( wonder what you will do to the baby you got from another man and named him after this cheat) gal how old are you? Hope you are underage because this craziness is irreprehensible.

Second concentrate on your life as a single parents at this time.

The man is right; op is an IDIOT!