daretodiffer:


I didn't know she was dead. Learn to look at the cause instead of misquoting somebody

He uses his aunt as a case study. If you are a student or better still a lawyer, you should know that you attacking/assassinating the evidence yo win the argument. In this case it was his aunt.

Don't quote me again please, if you are biased.

I like objective minds

You like objectivity yet you decided not to see that the aunt is dead. Moreover, assassinating the aunt was not needed in this case since it was just one out of many cases.

I don't see myself as biased, its you who is biased, not seeing the truth, but your opinion.

daretodiffer:


Bwahahaa

On the first point, you are right but you failed to look a the issue itself. The issue is that men justify their cheating. For them it is okay, they know they are going to get a free pass. They know people like you would caution the woman to take it easy and if she left her house because of that, you will call her names. Why can't she tolerate things for the sake of the greater good that is marriage(she is too petty, isn't she). And the circle keeps rotating. You won't declare marriage a state of emergency when men cheat and fail to see the inherent wrong in what they do. They keep getting away with it and their wives keep hurting deep inside. But it doesn't matter, they can get hurt but they must not leave.

However if it were a woman, OMG, she must leave that marriage today. The man must walk out o. There wouldn't be any state of emergency because it is a guy and he is justified.

Isn't that a hypocrisy? I agree that there are times we have to look the other way in a marriage but when the world and you believe that it is your birthright to cheat and it is your wives' birthright to look the other way to avoid disrepute, then there is a big problem. If we can't join hands to castigate hypocrites, please don't be afraid of state of emergency nor should be afraid of women cheating in their married homes. Because once you think a woman should/must stay with a cheating partner, you no longer have an opinion because you are biased.

My own palava is that I want you to recognise that a woman can have affairs too. If she can't discipline herself not to, then the man has no excuse. Also, women should be given a choice either to stay or not to stay without fools who think they have an opinion calling her names.




I didn't insult him, he threw the first stone with his ‘mature and learn'.



When the so-called leader lack self-discipline, how is the follower/partner supposed to respect him



Every woman that has an opinion is frustrated, depressed and unhappy abi. Yes, I am all the above if that makes you feel good as a man

When next you try to tackle issues, use your objective mind. If you can't please do not quote me.

you are such a child and have alot of growing up to do,you also need to practice self respect or atleast pretend to have it, okay?
take care, dear

rapmike:


You like objectivity yet you decided not to see that the aunt is dead. Moreover, assassinating the aunt was not needed in this case since it was just one out of many cases.

I don't see myself as biased, its you who is biased, not seeing the truth, but your opinion.

your mother born correct pikin.Enjoy your day,sir

rapmike:


You like objectivity yet you decided not to see that the aunt is dead. Moreover, assassinating the aunt was not needed in this case since it was just one out of many cases.

I don't see myself as biased, its you who is biased, not seeing the truth, but your opinion.

I didn't she was dead! Are you thick?

arabianights:



you are such a child and have alot of growing up to do,you also need to practice self respect or atleast pretend to have it, okay?
take care, dear

Look in the mirror

If you had any self respect, you won't have quoted me because it wasn't addressed to you

You wouldn't have spoiled your essay with this:

you have gone ahead to prove to the whole world as the op stated, that you are ill mannered and frustrated and possibly depressed and of course very unhappy.JUST VIEW YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS<ABEG! for goodness sake ,if you wont repect your self then please respect we other readers.[/b]

Not only are you a hypocrite, you also lack self-respect. You can't just help yourself, can you?

misspicy:

icedbeatz do you remember?....

no need to blow your self up over a man

I don't get you, what are you typing about?

daretodiffer:


Look in the mirror

If you had any self respect, you won't have quoted me because it wasn't addressed to you

You wouldn't have spoiled your essay with this:




Not only are you a hypocrite, you also lack self-respect. You can't just help yourself, can you?

Na waooo

daretodiffer:


I didn't she was dead! Are you thick?

See! You started insulting me when I did nothing to you! Later you will start complaining about bias and what-have-you.

The simple truth is that you did not read the OP post well enough neither did you read my own well enough, you chose to read what you wanted to read-something to attack people. Its hard to believe that you have something else in mind when you first replied the OP post.

Probably its just the 'bitter thing'.

rapmike:


You like objectivity yet you decided not to see that the aunt is dead. Moreover, assassinating the aunt was not needed in this case since it was just one out of many cases.

I don't see myself as biased, its you who is biased, not seeing the truth, but your opinion.

I wouldnt have attacked his aunt if he addressed about the issues I raised but no, he went ahead to insult my character.


Oh! You are not biased but you missed the part where he called me names. You are not biased and you chastised me for insulting his 'dead' aunt whom I had no idea she was dead. You are not biased yet totu couldn't addressed the issues I raised.

I don't know what else you are if not biased

rapmike:


See! You started insulting me when I did nothing to you! Later you will start complaining about bias and what-have-you.

The simple truth is that you did not read the OP post well enough neither did you read my own well enough, you chose to read what you wanted to read-something to attack people. Its hard to believe that you have something else in mind when you first replied the OP post.

Probably its just the 'bitter thing'.

Yeah, I am bitter if it makes you feel any better.

You chose what you wanted to read if the only thing you could pick out from my post is the alleged insult. You choos what you wanted to read is you believe that the OP didn't insult women with his choice of words. You chose what you wanted to read if you wouldn't let the ‘dead' aunt go, after my explanation.

arabianights:





Na waooo

Abi o

When you point a finger at someone, don't forget other four fingers are pointing right back at you

daretodiffer:


Yeah, I am bitter if he mashed you feel better.

You chose what you wanted to read if the only thing you could pick out from my post is the alleged insult. You choos what you wanted to read is you believe that the OP didn't insult women with his choice of words. You chose what you wanted to read if you wouldn't let the ‘dead' aunt go, after my explanation.

So an explanation means that a simple sorry is not in place abi?

Moreover, its not just about the aunt being dead, its more about your attacks on her. She chose her way of dealing with the issue- does not mean that her self esteem is poor. You just threw a punch at her and whether dead or alive she does not deserve it.

About the perceived insult of women by the OP, I saw that too and I said in my first post that the OP made some wrong assertions( which you chose to ignore again). So if you can't see that and notice other things mentioned by the others but you only see the insults, then you are really biased.

As I said before, calm down and read everyone's post all over. You really don't need to argue on like this.

Johnnoah1st:
what is d name of d movie? shey na comedy or tragedy

...this one na tragedy ooooo .
Women making 'em fellow women look/feel stupid since 1900
If na the man, he go see you caressing man beside pool, look the other way
Bollocks

daretodiffer:


I wouldnt have attacked his aunt if he addressed about the issues I raised but no, he went ahead to insult my character.


Oh! You are not biased but you missed the part where he called me names. You are not biased and you chastised me for insulting his 'dead' aunt whom I had no idea she was dead. You are not biased yet totu couldn't addressed the issues I raised.

I don't know what else you are if not biased

So because HE attacked your character, you decide to attack HIS aunt? What happened to attacking him back using himself? Nobody has hammered anything towards your family members.

Of course, I did not have time for the OP because you keep denying your mistakes and faults.

rapmike:


So an explanation means that a simple sorry is not in place abi?

Moreover, its not just about the aunt being dead, its more about your attacks on her. She chose her way of dealing with the issue- does not mean that her self esteem is poor. You just threw a punch at her and whether dead or alive she does not deserve it.

About the perceived insult of women by the OP, I saw that too and I said in my first post that the OP made some wrong assertions( which you chose to ignore again). So if you can't see that and notice other things mentioned by the others but you only see the insults, then you are really biased.

As I said before, calm down and read everyone's post all over. You really don't need to argue on like this.

Apology for what? Nigerians have come again o

Would I have if I knew she was dead? No
Am I remorse for using such words on her? Yes
Do I have to apologise? No
Why? Because it has been done and the op is too silly to admit his own mistakes and too silly to accept one


I can attack his aunt. Why? Because he used his aunt's case to attack all women.
Can I see that I shouldn't have attacked her? yes, because I realised that I could have insulted him for not recognising that his aunt's case was different and I should have explained his aunt's actions in a much clearer way without insulting her.

Can you blame me? Not really. he attacked me first with his aunt's actions.





Are you biased? Yeah, you wouldn't let the dead aunt go after repeated explanation and if I were to apologise, it is not in your place to tell me so

Bullshïts.
Dunno why this story sound so dumb like this.

daretodiffer:


Apology for what? Nigerians have come again o

Would I have if I knew she was dead? No
Am I remorse for using such words on her? Yes
Do I have to apologise? No
Why? Because it has been done and the op is too silly to admit his own mistakes and too silly to accept one


I can attack his aunt. Why? Because he used his aunt's case to attack all women.
Can I see that I shouldn't have attacked her? yes, because I realised that I could have insulted him for not recognising that his aunt's case was different and I should have explained his aunt's actions in a much clearer way without insulting her.

Can you blame me? Not really. he attacked me first with his aunt's actions.





Are you biased? Yeah, you wouldn't let the dead aunt go after repeated explanation and if I were to apologise, it is not in your place to tell me so

You were making sense until you did what you have been doing since- insisting that you are right. Its not in my place to ask you to apologise but you refused to state more that you did not know that she was dead. Moreover, you did not notice when I said that its not just about her being dead.

rapmike:


You were making sense until you did what you have been doing since- insisting that you are right. Its not in my place to ask you to apologise but you refused to state more that you did not know that she was dead. Moreover, you did not notice when I said that its not just about her being dead.

I am sorry but I have to ask you if we have ever had issues before

Did you skip this part or conveniently chose to ignore it?

Can I see that I shouldn't have attacked her? yes, because I realised that I could have insulted him for not recognising that his aunt's case was different and I should have explained his aunt's actions in a much clearer way without insulting her.

Are you on him the way you are on me? If you are not, please do not quote me ever again

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daretodiffer:


I am sorry but I have to ask you if we have ever had issues before

Did you skip this part or conveniently chose to ignore it?




Are you on him the way you are on me? If you are not, please do not quote me ever again

Again, you missed what am trying to say here- I did not mean that place, I meant when you started calling me biased because I challenged you over the dead aunt.

Mind you, I quoted you again , don't mind me.

rapmike:


You were making sense until you did what you have been doing since- insisting that you are right. Its not in my place to ask you to apologise but you refused to state more that you did not know that she was dead. Moreover, you did not notice when I said that its not just about her being dead.

boss, this lady is seeking for attention thats all.i can see the topic made front page, guess mods didnt feel its senseless

mobalad5:
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Come, this is not the way you do things! Why disturbing people with this your post about scholarship?

ok

your uncle was rich.... that is why she put up with him.

Park very well Op! Hope your aunt didn't die of heartbreak or any related diseases...pls don't emulate her o. And your uncle should stop trying to brainwash you too!

daretodiffer:


Sorry to say this but you have no right to quote me. How am I to know that the aunty is late?

Can't you read?

Didn't you read the entire OP's post?

Alas.you had to jump into conclusions and yarn a long epistle of what you thought you saw.. an epistle even far longer than what the op himself put up in the first place.

I know that one or two innuendos of his initial post didn't sit well with you but you didn't need to have gone all gung-ho @ him like that.

It wasn't very nice.

kannymoore:


Can't you read?

Didn't you read the entire OP's post?

Alas.you had to jump into conclusions and yarn a long epistle of what you thought you saw.. an epistle even far longer than what the op himself put up in the first place.

I know that one or two innuendos of his initial post didn't sit well with you but you didn't need to have gone all gung-ho @ him like that.

It wasn't very nice.

i love nairaland

OP, to be frank to you, its seems like you are trying to water down adultery by asserting that women should be patient with cheating men but you know that men cannot be patient with cheating women.

I can assure if it was the other way round, your uncle is most likely to divorce her, probably with some beating too. To me infidelity in both sides is not acceptable or justifiable. You just alluded that Men are goats( goats are the best example of such behavior around here).

That said, its true that Patience and Forgiveness is needed in marriage. Patience in deciding what to do next and forgiveness is also needed.

daretodiffer:


I find the title and your post really insulting to women. You used the words 'mature and learn'. Do you assume that we are stupid or what? I do not understand what you are trying to achieve?

Did you try asking your aunty if she had any toasters and admirers after marriage? Ask her what stopped her? She is going to tell that she did and it was respect for her husband and their marriage that stopped her. But her husband does not the same respect for her and their marriage yet you will come tomorrow and insult a woman who cheats on her husband. Some men think that it is their birthright to cheat and he does not need to have respect for women. He goes ahead to do so and the world expects the woman to maturely deal with him. Yet you won't stop calling us petty or gold-diggers or less intelligent beings, How can you expect a specie with all that characteristics to be wiser and more mature than you are?


Why should women be wiser and more matured than man? I thought you were supposed to be the leader and the smarter one . Don't you think that the lack of those qualities make it unfit to be in a relationship not to mention lead a family?

The happy ending your uncle told you about rarely happen. You need to be mature to be able to learn that it is just a case out of many.


Moral of my rant:
Don't dish what you can take.
Respect is reciprocal
Every action has its unforeseen consequences

These apply to males and females. Treat people, most especially your partner the way you want to be treated. If they don't mind you treating them like garbage then good for you.

what is this one saying!

WOMEN like you are very FOOLISH

She eventually died of a broken heart. Things women put up with for marriage to work. Sigh.
Dat ur uncle sef, now he has his wish.

dearestaramide:
MY uncle and I love to have conversations on life, relationships, politics etc. Any way, we got into discussion on the high rate of divorce in Nigeria and he went on to express what he felt were cause of it. He emphasized on patience and forgiveness and went on to tell me of an experience that cured him of his player life style

Years ago, my uncle was like the average Nigerian man, that is of course womanizer but like the average man, he was smart not to flaunt it, though as women, we always can tell. His wife had always known and was always told by her over sabi friends but since she never caught him red handed, she couldn't do anything about it.

The constant late night calls, meetings, sudden travels increased her belief of what she already knew. what could she do? yes, as any average wife, she was in pains but still showed him love and made sure she was there for him any time he needed a friend to talk to. She never complained or cried to her family or friends but kept in all inside her. He respected her for this even though as he said, he was too addicted to women to stop, though he tried.

My uncle was called off for a conference which was to last for one week and as usual with out delay, he jetted off. A cousin of my aunt whom she had not seen for over two years then came to visit and but was staying in a hotel which was by all means high standard and very expensive. My aunt decided to visit her on a Saturday so as to stay longer and catch up on old times. My aunt as you suspected caught sight of her husband really romancing a woman in the pool area and as you know, the man was supposed to be in Port Harcourt and had presumably jetted off three days before. She calmly finished what took her to the hotel and went back home.


My aunt never showed her husband any difference and still treated him normal as usual but one day whilst he was in a very good mood and they were watching an interesting movie in their room, she calmly told him what she had seen THREE MONTHS EARLIER and asked him not to do it again as he had hurt her deeply.

That night, shame, shock, fear all kinds of thoughts but best of all respect clouded my uncle's thought. He did eventually stop but not immediately oooo. He said it was gradual but he eventually stopped.

MY aunt fell ill and died years later and my uncle was sooo heart broken. He is still single by the way.

WHAT I LEARNT

all men are the same only thing that differentiates them is fear of God and self control.
Women need to be wiser and more matured than men.
Never act immediately this enables you time to think and strategise
shouting doesn't change men but pushes them away

So you all are trying to tell me you didn't read the post very carefully before commenting abi nah insulting or nah advise I go even call am. We need ask the OP one simple question, OP, did you mean to say ur uncle got married to your aunt?... Abeg explain make I know wetin to comment. Coz ur post says the man nah ur uncle and now the wife is ur aunt :