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Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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My Guy Slept With Her yesterday. She wants to sleep with me today. help!! / I Lost My Man Because I Slept With So Many Men - The Real Reason He Left!!! / If Your Guy Slept With Your Girlfriend, Will You Still Go On With Him? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by baby4u2(f): 2:55am On May 07, 2009
I actually overread this story to find the problem. So what will happen if they find out Jide slept with the both of you. You better tell your husband before he is told. Also, why are you worried? or as Tunde was toasting you he didnt know that you were having something with Jide? All this hide and seek is what is trying to mess you up. Anyway still cant see the real issue here. Maybe only you understands your problem.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by No2Atheism(m): 3:27am On May 07, 2009
baby4u2:

I actually overread this story to find the problem. So what will happen if they find out Jide slept with the both of you. You better tell your husband before he is told. Also, why are you worried? or as Tunde was toasting you he didnt know that you were having something with Jide? All this hide and seek is what is trying to mess you up. Anyway still cant see the real issue here. Maybe only you understands your problem.

Rule 1: says Don't sleep with so called boyfriends - Well you did so that's already out of the window

Rule 2: says Make sure you tell your boyfriend or fiancee everything about your past and ensure that there is no secret so that you would know if he loves you for you otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life keeping secrets.


Hence just as advised by someone earlier:

1. You don't really have anything to worry about apart from Shame of a guy doing you and your friend.
2. Tell your husband to be.
3. If your husband to be is not bothered then you yourself should not be bothered.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by peyton(f): 8:55am On May 07, 2009
@phemzy

i did not eat my cake at the same time and have it
i never new they dated before i stated the relationship with jide

and i will not be so stupid to use the real names of those involve

Rule 1: says Don't sleep with so called boyfriends - Well you did so that's already out of the window

Rule 2: says Make sure you tell your boyfriend or fiancee everything about your past and ensure that there is no secret so that you would know if he loves you for you otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life keeping secrets.


Hence just as advised by someone earlier:

1. You don't really have anything to worry about apart from Shame of a guy doing you and your friend.
2. Tell your husband to be.
3. If your husband to be is not bothered then you yourself should not be bothered.

i am scared to tell my husband to be becos my fiance and dammys husband are from both parent , i cant just imagine what will happen if they get to know that same guy slept with thier wife

he will feel betrayed this this might lead to break up which i would not want to happen becos we have already done our introduction

please nairaland this is so difficult for me becos my conscience is really hitting me when i remember that both of us ( me and dammy ) are getting married to the same family

i dont know what to do


i just dont know what to do, this is killing me
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by Dondav(m): 9:24am On May 07, 2009
Hey, i am damn sure he ain't gonna make a swell issue out of it.
Well, i believe he'll 4give u if he gets to know(i mean if he really loves u).
Am i forgetting something?, hmmmmmm oh okay, now i remember; just don't 4 get to stay safe.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by charminme(f): 9:50am On May 07, 2009
I really feel your pain! I dont knw why some people are saying is not a big deal

[quote author=peyton link=topic=269341.msg3833756#msg3833756 date=1241682943][/quote]

i  am scared to tell  my husband to be becos my fiance and dammys husband are from both parent ,  i cant just imagine what will happen if they get to know that same guy slept with thier wife

he will feel betrayed this this might lead to break up which i would not want to happen becos we have already done our introduction

I dont knw how long u guys dated? and wen did u get to knw that ur ex slept with ur freind
Normal he will feel betrayed, but better now than wen u guys are married
Dnt hide anything from him if u want to be happy and have happy family
that is mine own first rule DNT HIDE ANYTHING PLSS
it is obvious ur concience is killing u now, wat will now happen wen u get married

please nairaland this is so difficult for me becos my conscience is really hitting me when i remember that both of us ( me and dammy ) are getting married to the same family


Check out this senerio, having a small get together and someone invited the jide guy and the both ladies are there, they will never feel comfortable
and we are in a small world wat if one way or the other the husbands get to be friend with jide in future wat happens
It will take time b4 u look at ur friend without thinking of it
But ur friend is to be blame for all this, she introduced u guys na wa ooo
PLS TELL UR HUSBAND TO BE AND U WILL HAVE A CLEAR MIND

This is SEX with the two iyawos(wives), the same guy
it is a diff. thing if u dnt knw but u knw
if ur husband really LOVE u then he sud forgive and move on and u will have rest of mind

i really wish u well and all the best,
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by tpiah: 11:52am On May 07, 2009
I wouldnt advise you to tell your fiance- being a naija guy, he might not be able to handle the news.

I would, however, advise you to stay away from Jide the loose cannon. Avoid his calls and ask your friend dammy to do the same. If she doesnt, then that's her business.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by izeek(m): 12:02pm On May 07, 2009
u not even bothered he might have infected you both with the same disease.
well ur friend was the wicked one, not ur fault.
if u was not told then u have no reason to hide it.

but thats y we tell u young girls not to be in a hurry to sleep with just anyone.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by peyton(f): 12:03pm On May 07, 2009
@charmine

thanks for your advice

Check out this senerio, having a small get together and someone invited the jide guy and the both ladies are there, they will never feel comfortable

nairaland this is what am scared of

and i find it difficult to tell my fiance

am so mad at dammy, i see her as a betrayal

she new quite well that she had a relationship with jide and she went ahead and convince me to date him

i even call her once to my place and told her that
may be we should take the courage and tell the brothers what happened , to my suprise she said that i know she is already married to her own husband and that he would forgive her with time but me, am still not married and tunde can easily call it off and that would be the end for me

am so sad that i could find my self in this kind of situation


i need your advice nairaland

help me save my relationship
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by peyton(f): 12:05pm On May 07, 2009
u not even bothered he might have infected you both with the same disease.
well ur friend was the wicked one, not ur fault.
if u was not told then u have no reason to hide it.

but thats y we tell u young girls not to be in a hurry to sleep with just anyone.

i know but i was hurting from the previous relationship and i needed some one to heal my wound i neva tot it woould turn out like this

its so sad
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by debosky(m): 12:17pm On May 07, 2009
Are you people ok?

Do you know how many people your exes have slept with? Can you control what happens before you go into a relationship with a person?

Ok let me paint you a scenario - what if Jide didn't sleep with dammy till AFTER you broke up with him? What difference will it make?

As long as you didn't sleep with Jide while with your fiance, what is the problem? undecided

The same man slept with their wives, so what? People need to get their heads straight and worry about real problems. The two guys must be very stupid if they are bothered by this. Some guy shagged your wife before you married her - haven't you shagged other women that have become the wives of other men?

As long as you and dammy didn't claim virginity before marrying them, they should live with it - whatever happened prior to your introduction/marriage should remain there - in the PAST.

Men and their insecurities, and the women who encourage such nonsense. angry
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by peyton(f): 12:35pm On May 07, 2009
@DEBOSKY
As long as you didn't sleep with Jide while with your fiance, what is the problem?


i neva did that , i called off the relationship EVEN before i staarted a relationship with tunde, he is so caring
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by spikedcylinder: 12:36pm On May 07, 2009
debosky:

Are you people ok?  

Do you know how many people your exes have slept with?   Can you control what happens before you go into a relationship with a person?  

Ok let me paint you a scenario - what if Jide didn't sleep with dammy till AFTER you broke up with him? What difference will it make?  

As long as you didn't sleep with Jide while with your fiance, what is the problem?  undecided

The same man slept with their wives, so what? People need to get their heads straight and worry about real problems. The two guys must be very stupid if they are bothered by this. Some guy shagged your wife before you married her - haven't you shagged other women that have become the wives of other men?  

As long as you and dammy didn't claim virginity before marrying them, they should live with it - whatever happened prior to your introduction/marriage should remain there - in the PAST.

Men and their insecurities, and the women who encourage such nonsense.  angry

Unfortunately Debo, not every man has this kind of live and let live mentality and I can understand the OP's fears. Thats why a lot of women lie about their "number" to people they think might be serious with them.

This is where honesty comes in. If/when neccessary, had the OP told her husband to be that "There's this Jide dude I used to date, nothing fancy" then he wouldn't be as shocked when he finds out that the said Jide is a known Jide. I mean, as opposed to blanking out the Jide fiasco all together.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by debosky(m): 12:52pm On May 07, 2009
peyton:

@DEBOSKY

i neva did that , i called off the relationship EVEN before i staarted a relationship with tunde, he is so caring
So what is the problem? This was BEFORE Tunde - did you claim to be a virgin or what?

@ spikey

spikedcylinder:

Unfortunately Debo, not every man has this kind of live and let live mentality and I can understand the OP's fears. Thats why a lot of women lie about their "number" to people they think might be serious with them.

This is where honesty comes in. If/when neccessary, had the OP told her husband to be that "There's this Jide dude I used to date, nothing fancy" then he wouldn't be as shocked when he finds out that the said Jide is a known Jide. I mean, as opposed to blanking out the Jide fiasco all together.


Didn't Tunde know she was going out with Jide when they met at Dammy's introduction?

My point is, as long as you didn't claim virginity, why would it matter who you slept with in this case? Jide is not his brother, he is not his best friend, the only thing is that he slept with her and his brother's wife, BEFORE either of them started relationships with their husbands.

Anyone who is bothered by such nonsense should go look for a virgin to marry. That is the only solution. If I am marrying a girl who is not a virgin, I cannot be bothered with whom she has slept with (as long as it's not family or my best friend) and who the person she has slept with has slept with himself - where would it stop?? undecided
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by spikedcylinder: 1:02pm On May 07, 2009
debosky:

@ spikey

Didn't Tunde know she was going out with Jide when they met at Dammy's introduction?

I don't know o but I got the impression Tunde didn't know. Maybe she needs to answer this by herself.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by debosky(m): 1:10pm On May 07, 2009
spikedcylinder:

I don't know o but I got the impression Tunde didn't know. Maybe she needs to answer this by herself.
It is ridiculous to the highest order. She is saying in essence 'I am scared to tell my fiance that I slept with my immediate ex boyfriend'. I am sure Tunde has had sex with her multiple times before agreeing marriage, so why would he think that her ex would not have had the same pleasure?

There is no reason for Tunde or Ademola to be angry - their wives were not unfaithful, neither did they have an orgy with one man (even if they did, as long as it was prior to them meeting it is also irrelevant). They slept with the same man - it has happened before and will happen again.

The only way to avoid this is to remain a virgin or never date someone your friend has dated. The two have failed so they should move on.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by peyton(f): 1:14pm On May 07, 2009
quote]Quote from: debosky on Today at 12:52:53 PM
@ spikey

Didn't Tunde know she was going out with Jide when they met at Dammy's introduction?


I don't know o but I got the impression Tunde didn't know. Maybe she needs to answer this by herself.



Tunde deosn't, i met tunde at dammys introduction but then i was already thinking of leaving jide becos i got to know that i was not the only one he was dating, it was when i called it off and he learnt i was dating dammy brother in law, that was when he decided to tell me that he has dated dammy. [quote][/quote]
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by debosky(m): 1:16pm On May 07, 2009
peyton:

Tunde deosn't, i met tunde at dammys introduction but then i was already thinking of leaving jide becos i got to know that i was not the only one he was dating, it was when i called it off  and  he learnt i was dating dammy brother in law, that was when  he decided to tell me that he has dated dammy.

Even if he doesn't know, did you tell him you're a virgin? Did you tell him you had no boyfriends before him or did you tell him that you didn't sleep with your ex boyfriend?

Please answer these questions so I can understand your situation better.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by storm0210(m): 1:20pm On May 07, 2009
i dont mean 2 b rude, your story isnt a problem, its ur fear that the issue. as long as Jide isnt running his mouth, den i dont see u or dammy saying it out like ur doing now. if u guys had sex, in d past, if ur husband holds on to it then he is being very cheeky.

Dammy knew abt it, and allowed u 2 date him. my dear, move on.

marry ur husband and be happy, Jide wont achieve anything by telling anyone that he had u both.

@ debosky, whats up,
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by spikedcylinder: 1:22pm On May 07, 2009
I still think she should mention it at some point. She doesn't have to tell him she dated THE Jide, just telling him she dated A Jide is enough.
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by storm0210(m): 1:27pm On May 07, 2009
Debosky, i totally agreed with you.
@ poster, must ur husband 2 b here dis story sef? not necessary.

i hav dated a girl wen i ws in skool, had crazy sex wit her, months after we broke up. had a birthday like a year after, she came 4 it, met a friend of mine, i actually introduced them. they got married sometime dis year, i still go 2 visit dem cos he and i turned out to b doing some business together. i never mentioned that i hav slept wit his wife and i know she wont becos it ws in d past.

so let it go. dis i aint an issue.

Junior hw r d twins?
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by surface(f): 1:37pm On May 07, 2009
Dats why its good to remain a virgin till ur wedding night shocked shocked shocked shocked
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by debosky(m): 1:39pm On May 07, 2009
I can't understand people fretting about a past before their current relationship - no pregnancy, no abortion, just sex. Like argent said, if you can't be a virgin before marriage, then this kind of situation is ultimately unavoidable.

@storm

I dey jare, the twins are cool. hope business is cool
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by peyton(f): 2:05pm On May 07, 2009
THANKS TO ALL THAT REPLIED

I THINK AM GETTING A BIT RELIEVED

@ DEBOSKY

I NEVA TOLD MY FIANCE THAT AM I VIRGIN

I AM JUST FEELING GUILTY FOR WHAT HAPPENED

BUT I HAVE DAMMY TO BLAME FOR THIS
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by surface(f): 2:12pm On May 07, 2009
so it was dammy dat forced ur legs opened when d guy was digging u? shocked shocked
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by waterworks(f): 2:13pm On May 07, 2009
DAMMY?
What did dammy do?
what are your fears really? is it that you slept with a guy who slept with a friend or that you slept with your boyfriend before you met your fiancee becaus e me i dont understand it oh!
abeg this poster just wanted to post story and there was no story so she started making a mountain out of a mole hill. angry
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by debosky(m): 2:17pm On May 07, 2009
Dammy didn't do a thing - according to you, the problem is that the two brothers (Tunde and Demola) will feel bad that one man has slept with their wives.

At the time you met Jide, you didn't even know that Tunde existed or that you would ever marry him. Why should she tell you she slept with a man when you were barely trying to recover? She didn't interfere in your relationship and you are blaming her for what exactly?

Unless you girls had a rule never to date/sleep with a man the other one had dated, then there is no issue.

peyton:

I AM JUST FEELING GUILTY FOR WHAT HAPPENED
What are you feeling guilty for? Sleeping with Jide?? What about all the other men you slept with? Why aren't you feeling guilty about them as well? Was Jide your first lover?
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by surface(f): 2:21pm On May 07, 2009
@ original poster,is jide married now or still single becos it seems d guy is a fine boy,if not how come he digged u and ur friend,pls i have interest too. grin
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by debosky(m): 2:25pm On May 07, 2009
surface:

@ original poster,is jide married now or still single becos it seems d guy is a fine boy,if not how come he digged u and ur friend,pls i have interest too. grin
You sef wan taste wetin Dammy and Peyton don taste? cheesy grin grin
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by surface(f): 2:30pm On May 07, 2009
Nothing do me,i just wanna know what d guy is all about,imagine dis girl cant just get him out of her mind.Definately there is something hot about jides JT grin grin.I need to comferm what it is grin cheesy
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by peyton(f): 3:06pm On May 07, 2009
so it was dammy dat forced ur legs opened when d guy was digging u?



if you dont know what to say then you can keep your mouth shut


i met jide tru dammy and i loved him

nobody forced me on him

infact i am not happy with your comment

you didnt help my situation

i just pray that you will neva find your self in a compromising situation
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by peyton(f): 3:13pm On May 07, 2009
@WATERWORK
DAMMY?
What did dammy do?
what are your fears really? is it that you slept with a guy who slept with a friend or that you slept with your boyfriend before you met your fiancee becaus e me i dont understand it oh!
abeg this poster just wanted to post story and there was no story so she started making a mountain out of a mole hill

IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THEN READ MY STORY

MY FEAR IS THAT JIDE SLEPT WITH ME AND DAMMY

DAMMY AND I ARE GOING INTO THE SAME FAMILY I MWEN GETTING MARRIED TO BOTHERS

ALTHOUGH DAMMY IS MARRIED AND AM GETTING MARRIED IN FEW MONTH
Re: Help Me! Same Guy Slept With Us by spikedcylinder: 3:17pm On May 07, 2009
I think the OP feels Dammy should have told her she once had a relationship with Jide.

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