WhoBeThisMan:
what about the church, all family members etc

LadyX:

Who is going to live with the 'monster'? Is it the church, family members, or you?

Remember it will be the two of you in the house. If your intention is to live happily, put your self first. If your interest is to please the church and family, go ahead and marry her.

Clearly this is a woman who will make you feel worthless if you don't have money. The choice is yours.

WhoBeThisMan:
cards are already out, we have even finished selling aso ebi

WhoBeThisMan:
I met this girl last year december, beautiful, very comited to church, and she had all characteristics of what I want in a woman or so it seemed. I approched her, she liked me too, we started going out. I just got out from a very messy brakeup so I really was tired of dating, I told her I want to get married thats my intension and we should start working towards it. She said yes.

I met with our pastor, he basically warned me about the sister, she is nice but can be very arrogant, if I was sure this is what I want because there is no turning back, I said yes! (Love dey shark me).

Fastforward to now. This year has been a very challenging year for me financially. This she knows very well. She insisted we do the wedding by october, I told her it would be too soon, im not financially prepared for that. But I really love this girl, and I wnted her to be happy, and also I couldn't wait for her to be my wife (love still dey shark), so we finally agreed for december, even though its going to be a big financial strain on my part.

I had all the plans to raise money worked out, to cut the long story short suddenly things nose dived in business. My financial pathner had some personal challages and had to pull out funds.

She was able to raise some money from her office, but now she puts me down with her words, castigating me, feeling superior because she feels I need her. She says words that are do hurtful that I have to talk myself out of low self esteem.

The painful part is that all my friends and family members warned me about this, I didnt listen.

Now I think she has become a monster, I wish I could but a stop to all these, I really dont need to get marraid right now. I dont even know hownit will be like to live in thesame house with her.

I have always wondered why this very nice lady is still single at this age(age witheld). But now I think its her arrogance that has probably driven away all her potential suitors.

Pls I need advice, feel free to be harsh if need be

Ps this is not my story oo it is a friend

WhoBeThisMan:
thats one hard truth. Thanks

WhoBeThisMan:
May I also add thatbshe even puts me down in front of her family. She has embarased me in public too

WhoBeThisMan:
cards are already out, we have even finished selling aso ebi

WhoBeThisMan:
I met this girl last year december, beautiful, very comited to church, and she had all characteristics of what I want in a woman or so it seemed. I approched her, she liked me too, we started going out. I just got out from a very messy brakeup so I really was tired of dating, I told her I want to get married thats my intension and we should start working towards it. She said yes.

I met with our pastor, he basically warned me about the sister, she is nice but can be very arrogant, if I was sure this is what I want because there is no turning back, I said yes! (Love dey shark me).

Fastforward to now. This year has been a very challenging year for me financially. This she knows very well. She insisted we do the wedding by october, I told her it would be too soon, im not financially prepared for that. But I really love this girl, and I wnted her to be happy, and also I couldn't wait for her to be my wife (love still dey shark), so we finally agreed for december, even though its going to be a big financial strain on my part.

I had all the plans to raise money worked out, to cut the long story short suddenly things nose dived in business. My financial pathner had some personal challages and had to pull out funds.

She was able to raise some money from her office, but now she puts me down with her words, castigating me, feeling superior because she feels I need her. She says words that are do hurtful that I have to talk myself out of low self esteem.

The painful part is that all my friends and family members warned me about this, I didnt listen.

Now I think she has become a monster, I wish I could but a stop to all these, I really dont need to get marraid right now. I dont even know hownit will be like to live in thesame house with her.

I have always wondered why this very nice lady is still single at this age(age witheld). But now I think its her arrogance that has probably driven away all her potential suitors.

Pls I need advice, feel free to be harsh if need be

Ps this is not my story oo it is a friend

dwen:
beloved, there is nothing wrong with that woman, it is a normal thing for her to act the way she is acting right now because her day of joy is being threatened, she is not a monster, the fact that she has waited this long does not make her one. all you need to do is to sit her down and reassure her that the wedding will hold and that you still love her and you will see her calm down. please go ahead with the wedding.

deanoffaculty:
@OP....
We all have our individual differences and ways of managing feelings and emotions. You love the lady and she loves you too. For the fact that she's arrogant doesn't make her a bad person.
Just find a romantic way of talking to her. Even when she is harsh and doesn't want to reason with you, pet her and calm her down......all ladies like that. Let the discussion be between you guys and no third party. Anyhow, anyhow..find a way of letting her understand the present financial constraints and what is on board. Don't allow people's opinion about her to discourage you. Marriage is meant for two imperfect persons and not two perfect perfect persons....."like terms repel,unlike terms attracts".
Thank God you discovered her arrogance before marriage and not in marriage.....that means she is not a pretender. If you truly love her and you can manage her arrogance, then you guys need to do a serious talk. Don't forget the fact that we are not 100% perfect.
At the tail end, you can walk away if she's not co-operating and reasoning with you. A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP/COURTSHIP is better than a BROKEN MARRIAGE.
God will give you the wisdom to go about it IJN.
.......

dwen:
beloved, there is nothing wrong with that woman, it is a normal thing for her to act the way she is acting right now because her day of joy is being threatened, she is not a monster, the fact that she has waited this long does not make her one. all you need to do is to sit her down and reassure her that the wedding will hold and that you still love her and you will see her calm down. please go ahead with the wedding.

dwen:
beloved, there is nothing wrong with that woman, it is a normal thing for her to act the way she is acting right now because her day of joy is being threatened, she is not a monster, the fact that she has waited this long does not make her one. all you need to do is to sit her down and reassure her that the wedding will hold and that you still love her and you will see her calm down. please go ahead with the wedding.

WhoBeThisMan:
May I also add thatbshe even puts me down in front of her family. She has embarased me in public too

chrisbaba1:


In your spirit and soul you know what is right..... Is she violent too, unforgiving?

call off the wedding and remain prayerful. If you marry her chaii i can only laugh. or better still, go to your pastor and tell him all that is bothering you, he can give you good counsel based on what he knows about the both of you, he might chastise you but all the same hear him out.

WhoBeThisMan:
shes not unforgiving but can be violent sometimes. What I cant deal with is how she makes me feel worthless anytime cahs is short when she is the one who pressured me into this situation

chrisbaba1:



Many time God himself speaks to us in clear evidences but we just wont listen. Since you are christian, the Bible clearly states "by their fruits we shall know them" Arrogance, Violence and evil words are her fruits can you eat it? if you cant eat then leave.

WhoBeThisMan:
I have tried talking to her, it seems like the more I talk the more I arrogant and disrespectful and abusive she becomes

paybystraff:
My friend commot for road!

Men and their insatiable ego, now that she supports you financially is when you realized she's a monster after a so called man of God warned you.

She's probably still single because the previous guy was a jerk like you. Clear road for her make she see better person wey no get bad belly.

We know una na; Single Never Married Male @ 50.

WhoBeThisMan:
cards are already out, we have even finished selling aso ebi