My friend's wife's elder sister came visiting to help take care of the wife's food stuff shop, pending when they will get a sale girl. According to my friend, when the woman, a single mother of two came, he decided to leave the bedroom of their one bedroom flat for the wife and the said sister to sleep every night and he is now sleeping on the mat placed on the centre rug or at times on the sofa in the parlour, but he is complaining of body pains and strange nightmares. I have advised him to buy a mattress in the parlour for either himself which I feel is better than the mat or discuss with the wife to tell the sister to be sleeping on the foam inside the parlour, but he said the wife told him it would be 'some how' for her sister to be sleeping inside the parlour. So my friend has no choice than to continue to manage the parlour, but the most worrisome aspect of the scenario is that he is not comfortable in the house anymore, particularly when he takes his bath and he is supposed to dress up, the woman hardly leaves the room until he boldly knocks at the door before she would grudgingly leave the room. When he comes back from work, the same thing as he does not enter room, but will only take his bath and put on the two night wears he has permanently hung inside the bathroom. My friend said the whole thing is choking. He wanted to tell the wife's sister to relocate to parlour by himself but advised him against it. In order to maintain a peaceful home and co-existence between both parties now and in the long run, we intend to seek for advice from married and experienced couples who have passed thru a similar experience and how it can be mitigated.

Sori oh!

Does that lady really really need to be there?

Well apart from her leaving you've given him the next most practical advice.
What other option is he looking?

The man aint man

First of all, he is very wrong to allow a permanent visitor in his room and parlour apartment. Secondly, he is not suppose to vacate his matrimonial bed for anybody even his mother. Sales girl is very easy to get around. Haba.. If your friend does not want his family to scatter, he should look for sales girl, promise the wife to bear the cost and send the elder sister back or better still, if he can get another apartment for the lady, no problem. May God give you wisdom to sort this out, its not gonna be easy.

that man is obviously not the head of his house, if he cannot dictate what he wants then I'm sorry to say this, his wife will take advantage of it.

it is important that a man should be the head of his house no matter what situation which he is not. is it not his matrimonial house? where else will he sleep if not his bed?

haba, that man needs to wear his head back.

Very soon he will lose it! No need for advice jare.Time will tell

nickxtra:
My friend's wife's elder sister came visiting to help take care of the wife's food stuff shop, pending when they will get a sale girl. According to my friend, when the woman, a single mother of two came, he decided to leave the bedroom of their one bedroom flat for the wife and the said sister to sleep every night and he is now sleeping on the mat placed on the centre rug or at times on the sofa in the parlour, but he is complaining of body pains and strange nightmares. I have advised him to buy a mattress in the parlour for either himself which I feel is better than the mat or discuss with the wife to tell the sister to be sleeping on the foam inside the parlour, but he said the wife told him it would be 'some how' for her sister to be sleeping inside the parlour. So my friend has no choice than to continue to manage the parlour, but the most worrisome aspect of the scenario is that he is not comfortable in the house anymore, particularly when he takes his bath and he is supposed to dress up, the woman hardly leaves the room until he boldly knocks at the door before she would grudgingly leave the room. When he comes back from work, the same thing as he does not enter room, but will only take his bath and put on the two night wears he has permanently hung inside the bathroom. My friend said the whole thing is choking. He wanted to tell the wife's sister to relocate to parlour by himself but advised him against it. In order to maintain a peaceful home and co-existence between both parties now and in the long run, we intend to seek for advice from married and experienced couples who have passed thru a similar experience and how it can be mitigated.

I am sorry but this is too much. Please allow him to tell the sister to move if the wife will not. Ah ah. What rubbish. Is the wife the bread winner. Even if she is, this situation just isn't right. He can tell her in a non aggressive manner. If he is broke he really needs to go all out and hustle to avoid further disrespect

akinloluwao:
First of all, he is very wrong to allow a permanent visitor in his room and parlour apartment. Secondly, he is not suppose to vacate his matrimonial bed for anybody even his mother. Sales girl is very easy to get around. Haba.. If your friend does not want his family to scatter, he should look for sales girl, promise the wife to bear the cost and send the elder sister back or better still, if he can get another apartment for the lady, no problem. May God give you wisdom to sort this out, its not gonna be easy.

Akin you have said it all. Kudos. Even me that I am a woman I am vexed on the man's behalf. What is wrong is wrong

The first thing the wife should have done is to get a salesgirl before bringing up the idea with the sister.He also should not have allowed the wife into the bedroom in the first place.She should have managed the parlour as a visitor.
Let them both make quick arrangements for a salesgirl so the SIL can leave.

If you want peace then ready for war, just politely tell the woman to relocate or you mk her realize that her service is no more needed and get sales girl since thatz her purpose of staying in ur house

Why would a married man /woman vacate their martial bed for a guest? Even if it is President Buhari?

The husband and wife absolutely have no respect for their marriage/home/martial bed.

I wouldn't blame the elder sister because people treat your stuff the way they see you treat it.

How do they even have sex or talk intimately since the elder sister practically lives in the room?

The man should send the elder sister to her rightful place (the sitting room) with immediate effect. The family can save up to buy student's mattress.

Again, why did the elder sister not protest when she was offered the bedroom Why does she have to be prompted always before leaving the room when the husband wants to dress up?

She is single with kids So I want to assume she was once married or in a committed relationship?

Where are her kids and why is she single?

The wife better screw her head well and get a sales girl asap

If I personally know that man he did certainly get a Reset Slap..

What kind of stupid man is that..

This is why I don't get too much famzy with my inlaws.

So I can act when needed.


I remember when my MIL wants to act funny,I blocked her calls from my phone,since then she returns to default setting..

Give the wife 2 options....
1. Sleep beside me, anywhere. room or parlour.
2. If you choose not to be beside me, let me be comfortable on my bed, if u like vacate the bed for your sister.... if angel kanji visits and your sister corporates, no abortion will be allowed.

wahala dey

nickxtra:
My friend's wife's elder sister came visiting to help take care of the wife's food stuff shop, pending when they will get a sale girl. According to my friend, when the woman, a single mother of two came, he decided to leave the bedroom of their one bedroom flat for the wife and the said sister to sleep every night and he is now sleeping on the mat placed on the centre rug or at times on the sofa in the parlour, but he is complaining of body pains and strange nightmares. I have advised him to buy a mattress in the parlour for either himself which I feel is better than the mat or discuss with the wife to tell the sister to be sleeping on the foam inside the parlour, but he said the wife told him it would be 'some how' for her sister to be sleeping inside the parlour. So my friend has no choice than to continue to manage the parlour, but the most worrisome aspect of the scenario is that he is not comfortable in the house anymore, particularly when he takes his bath and he is supposed to dress up, the woman hardly leaves the room until he boldly knocks at the door before she would grudgingly leave the room. When he comes back from work, the same thing as he does not enter room, but will only take his bath and put on the two night wears he has permanently hung inside the bathroom. My friend said the whole thing is choking. He wanted to tell the wife's sister to relocate to parlour by himself but advised him against it. In order to maintain a peaceful home and co-existence between both parties now and in the long run, we intend to seek for advice from married and experienced couples who have passed thru a similar experience and how it can be mitigated.

he made a mistake of leaving the room in the first instance. but women sha, he should just know how to handle the situation because as it stands he either keeps managing or draw bad blood in a bid to assert his right. but the woman especially since he is the elder sister should know better that married people are supposed to share their bedroom and not have a relative kick off the other spouse.

You stay in one bedroom apartment and you're bringing visitors? Then, you vacate your bedroom for the visitor?... are you ok?

Can't you get a sales girl from your neighbourhood? So that the lady can be coming from her house instead of staying with you... must the sales girl live with you?

Please, pack back to your bedroom before they chase you to the corridor

cococandy:
Does that lady really really need to be there?

Well apart from her leaving you've given him the next most practical advice.
What other option is he looking?

He said he does not want to hurt the peaceful relationship that exists between them.

marshalcarter:
The man aint man

So, what is your opinion? I think it is not enough to just say the man isn't man

akinloluwao:
First of all, he is very wrong to allow a permanent visitor in his room and parlour apartment. Secondly, he is not suppose to vacate his matrimonial bed for anybody even his mother. Sales girl is very easy to get around. Haba.. If your friend does not want his family to scatter, he should look for sales girl, promise the wife to bear the cost and send the elder sister back or better still, if he can get another apartment for the lady, no problem. May God give you wisdom to sort this out, its not gonna be easy.

Yea, they are taking their time to get a good sales girl, because the one they had before absconded with their b money and some goods.

PresVA:
You stay in one bedroom apartment and you're bringing visitors? Then, you vacate your bedroom for the visitor?... are you ok?

Can't you get a sales girl from your neighbourhood? So that the lady can be coming from her house instead of staying with you... must the sales girl live with you?

Please, pack back to your bedroom before they chase you to the corridor

It's taken. Will advise him accordingly

You guys have no business entertaining over night guests for now, biko.

Your wife should manage her business alone.Worst case scenario, look for a girl to assist. 15K salary plus Lunch.

You will lose both marriage and business if that relative does not leave NOW.

mcdokwe:
he made a mistake of leaving the room in the first instance. but women sha, he should just know how to handle the situation because as it stands he either keeps managing or draw bad blood in a bid to assert his right. but the woman especially since he is the elder sister should know better that married people are supposed to share their bedroom and not have a relative kick off the other spouse.

It is really worrisome

Exponental:
Give the wife 2 options....
1. Sleep beside me, anywhere. room or parlour.
2. If you choose not to be beside me, let me be comfortable on my bed, if u like vacate the bed for your sister.... if angel kanji visits and your sister corporates, no abortion will be allowed.

So what should we do now that you opened thread.

On no occasion should you allow other people access to your matrimonial bed. That's the sacred part of your matrimonial home for god's sake. That your SIL herself is not too sensible, she is so comfortable sleeping on your bed while you roll on the mat.
Ask your friend to return to his matrimonial bed and have the SIL in the living room or she can go back to her own home.

nickxtra:
He said he does not want to hurt the peaceful relationship that exists between them.

Ha.
But he's hurting his marriage.
Which one is worse?

cococandy:

Ha.
But he's hurting his marriage.
Which one is worse?

If you ask me, who I go ask?

Yomieluv:
This is why I don't get too much famzy with my inlaws.

So I can act when needed.


I remember when my MIL wants to act funny,I blocked her calls from my phone,since then she returns to default setting..

I dont see how this correlates to the issues on this thread. When you even marry self wey you don start to display??
Hope you won't mind your wife blocking your mother's calls too!!

I think d woman is the breadwinner. I cannt imagine my elder brothers nt to talk abt my dearest husband sleeping on the floor. I blame the woman because dis shows dat she doesn't respect her husband and as for the man my advice is that he shud go and hustle

PresVA:
You stay in one bedroom apartment and you're bringing visitors? Then, you vacate your bedroom for the visitor?... are you ok?

Can't you get a sales girl from your neighbourhood? So that the lady can be coming from her house instead of staying with you... must the sales girl live with you?

Please, pack back to your bedroom before they chase you to the corridor

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