want to share today a very vital point and most important quality one should look out for in a prospective spouse before crossing the altar of no return. First you can only change a person who is willing to learn, who is willing and humble enough to listen and know, this person who can be taught can be reached and helped. You can only help a person grow, improve, develop and contribute value to a persons life who is willing to learn, to such will be grateful for your meaningful contributions and not treat it with disdain, disrespect, scorn like a dog or swine and what you can't change before marriage, that you will have to accept to live with in marriage, because you made that choice. The bible says, wisdom is the principle thing, so therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.(Proverbs 4:7), the bible didn't say marriage, husband, wife, money, beauty is the principle thing but wisdom and fools will despise wisdom. Through wisdom is a house builded; and by understanding it is established: and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches (Proverbs 24:3-4). One most important and fundamental thing you should find out in a man or woman, who you intending to marry is "wisdom", which comes with good understanding and knowledge, because this is the principle thing. not just any kind of wisdom, but the "wisdom of God". I have seen so called Christians display the wisdom of the world and still bring such wisdom into their relationship with people, such is devilish, subtle, sensual, deceptive, cunning, crafty, manipulated, which seeks to dominate, extort, control and take advantage of people directly or indirectly, this Apostle James called the wisdom which is earthly, from beneath and never pure. The right person is the one you both can build together, work, learn, grow, develop, listen, reason, cooperate and improve together. learn, teach and correct one another in oneness, love, humility, respect, politeness, transparency and unity of heart and mind with same goal and direction, without any form of hypocrisy, show of superiority, inferiority and dishonesty, this defines the perfect relationship and partnership. Wisdom is the form of maturity you should look out for in him or her , the wisdom of God that is unto righteousness, salvation, faith, love and every good work, way and behaviour. look out for the wisdom of God in him/her, for how far your marriage goes, the success is absolutely dependent on the wisdom of God that is at work in you. A wise man is committed to learning, because sound wisdom, good understanding and sound knowledge brings out the best in people, defines their character, personality and makes them better persons. A woman without the wisdom of God cannot be your right partner and a man without the wisdom of God cannot be your right leader, being born again is not enough for marriage, for you can be born again and still act so carnal, but preparing and building your personality with the knowledge of God to gain the form of maturity needed for success in marriage and life is key, as many prepare for the wedding and not marriage. Marriage is about relationship and it takes the wisdom of God to build and have a fruitful and excellent relationship. Virtuous is synonymous to wisdom, and a wise woman brings honour to her husband, so thoughtful, with sound judgement, advice and counsel driven by selflessness and not selfish, personal interest or gain, this why the bible says her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders in the land (proverbs 31:23) her wisdom has heaped on him honour and decor of respect. A wise man brings honour and glory to his wife, name, home, family and entire household. but a foolish man brings shame, reproach, disgrace to his name, wife, family and household, while a foolish woman brings vanity upon her home, reproach to her husband and his name, she tears her house apart, waste the resources instead of holding it together, growing and building it and strengthen good friendships within and outside. A foolish man and woman is covetous, proud, ungrateful, never truly appreciating good and kindness because they think, their manipulation and deception brought it, they trust in their deceptive ways and abilities rather than God, they love gain rather than giving, they seek men's praises and pleases wanting you to notice them, they seek to impress, they scorn, mock instead of helping in the law of kindness, they work for self recognition, help to lord over instead of to serve, advantageous, envious, wanting competition, feeling better than, bringing down others, with negative and selfish motives, pretentious, self centered, self willed, greedy, make judgements based on sentiments and emotional feelings, only with you for advantage, to obtain and extort, always demanding, living in the now for quick gratification , seeks what they can gain, get, have and benefit from you, envious, not teachable, despise corrections, lacks understanding, direction and discretion, immature, but wisdom, knowledge shall deliver him who is humble, willing to learn and become better. For the fact you made a mistake does not make you foolish, but not accepting to and taking responsibility for your fault,or mistake, to make things right, trying to defend yourself for ego sake, not showing any willingness and appreciation for learning, correction, instruction and direction is foolishness, a sign you don't want to learn and become better. Truth has weight but a wise man will accept it because it makes him a better person. The people who failed and succeed in life and in the bible did because they made the wisdom and knowledge of God a priority and core pursuit, finding sound and good understanding. it is not just getting knowledge, there is knowledge everywhere, information everywhere, but not many wisdom and sound understanding. Its not about the books you read, but the truth, realities, sound wisdom, good understanding, exposure, illumination, enlightenment you gain from such, that lives forever with you, which you become and live, that makes you matured and a better person, this is why people without knowledge will always perish. Academic prowess can't impart you the wisdom of God and the sound understanding needed for life and living, but only the knowledge of God, truth through the Holy Ghost can. In this age and times anybody who is not committed to reading and learning cannot be your right leader and partner, because wisdom is the principle thing. The kind of knowledge you have gotten, the message you listen to, the people you listen to, will determine how wise you become and how better you succeed in life and marriage. Wisdom and understanding is what defines and determines our reasoning, character, attitude, approach, thinking, perspective and perception, giving us the right one. A foolish person lacks the patience and discipline for knowledge and truth, but a wise man seeks and pursues after it. is not a beautiful woman, but a woman of wisdom, not a handsome man, or man with a a fat, good or ok bank account but a man with wisdom, just like the foolish and ungrateful Nabal brought upon his entire household destruction by the reason of his foolishness, and the wisdom and sound understanding of Abigail saved her life, and her household and the King David from shearing blood, which Nabal later died for his foolishness. A fool lacks understanding, despise the ways of God and says there is no God. A wise woman is priceless, this is her true beauty and virtue and is above rubies, she is uncommon and extraordinary, powerful, which money cannot buy, this is why she is an ornament of grace and a blessing and source of great joy to his heart, a fresh nectar to his soul and a wise man can never be compared to the riches of the world put together,in a matter of time his wisdom, humility shall make way for him and bring glory, honour to him and his entire household. FIND OUT THE WISDOM OF God, it is the principal thing. Wisdom will help him\her do the right and correct according to the will and purpose of God.

The first thing a lady should look out for in a man is leadership, because leadership determines everything, the success, progress of anything, how far you go, what you become is determined by the kind of leadership you willingly submit yourself to and follow. I rather go for a lady, who is rational enough to know what she need, sound in judgement enough to discern it and courageous enough to accept it, than a lady lead about with feelings or emotions. A true leader is first in absolute submission to the laws and ways of the highest authority (God) before he can command followership through inspiration, vision and character. The quality of Leadership is the maturity a lady should look out for in a man, leadership has to do with his mindset, thinking, perception, attitude, philosophy and believe system. Many young men who go into marriage today, have little or no knowledge of leadership and many women who go into marriage, go into it without finding leadership. Leadership will determine how successful your partnership and relationship comes out. The position of a man in the home, is a place of authority, which means leadership, the kind of leadership will determine how far that marriage will go. How much is he committed to leadership that will command his loyalty and faithfulness to leadership? Is his leadership selflessly centred on God and his word and built around you? Prove his leadership, the sincerity of his leadership, you are called a helper, a help meet, what kind of leadership will you be helping? Real women don't put emotions first, but reality first, emotions can be deceptive, love is never blind but emotions are blind and many times stirred by selfishness, immaturity, lack of exposure and knowledge . The true example of leadership is Jesus Christ, this is why God gave the man Jesus as the perfect standard of leadership to achieve success in the home. Prove his leadership through the word, prayer and mostly importantly allow time to prove it Until you see yourself as a leader, you can't manifest the character of one, and the kind of leader you are determines everything. A leader takes responsibility and not finding the one to blame, leaders don't gives excuses because they are accountable. How much sense of responsibility he got to be accountable for you, for your welfare and well-being in all areas of life? Leadership brings out the best in people, leadership brings out the value, worth and potential in people, one great character of leadership is patience, it focuses on the strength of people rather than weakness. It is characterised by faith, positivity, value, love and hope. Leadership is about people, leadership provides direction, purpose, it's selfless and sacrificial. Leadership proves integrity, it brings provision and care. Great leaders are people who aren't intimidated by your potential but would rather partner with you to achieve the best. Great leaders seek people who is as resourceful as they are, or more resourceful and selflessly work with them to achieve a common goal, this because they aren't looking for people to control, use or take advantage but humble people to lead, provide a direction and environment for to reach their full potential, worth and place of value and significance. Only a purposeful woman, who is going somewhere will seek out leadership, the kind of leadership that will take you to the fulfilment of the purpose, plans and destiny of God for your life. Leaders understands they aren't perfect, this why they surround themselves with the right people and create a perfect working relationship with them to achieve a selfless goal and not a personal ambition. Great leadership is never about self this is why they consult with the people they trust, they listen to their ideas because they believe in them when it comes to making decisions. Submission is the leadership you have willingly accepted to follow and be a part of to give your all and best to, into achieving the set goal. What you should seek in a man is not whether if he loves you, or whether he got some money in his pocket in the immediate, or whether if he is handsome, short, tall or dark, it is whether if he has the kind of leadership to lead you into the place of God for your life, where you find true fulfilment, meaning and value for living. You should believe in him because you have found in him the kind of leadership and you should believe in her because you have found the person who has seen in you the value of leadership and believes so much in it to want to be a part of it by commitment. The disciples followed Jesus and remained with him because of leadership, Sarah followed Abraham because of leadership, she called him Lord because she was so overwhelmed by his leadership. Submission means how much you trust his leadership, to freely give yourself away without any reservation to journey with him, knowing you will be protected, selflessly and unconditional cared for, you will be priority having your good and unselfish interest at heart. Leadership provides safety, how much do you trust his leadership to be safe with him, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise. Submission is not what you force, it is what your leadership brings out in the right people, it is the inspiration of your leadership that people aspire to. My principle of marriage is always this, since marriage is all about the fulfilment of the purpose and vision of God, partnership is the key, it's not about finding a good person, but it's all about finding the right person, for the right person is what becomes the good to you. Right partnership is key. I pray God help you to first discover your self and purpose and help you with his wisdom to discern the right leadership and right partner in leadership to fulfil purpose. The man provides the leadership and the woman gives the partnership in leadership, great leadership can fail, good leadership can crash if it doesn't have or go with the right partnership. It's not about who is a good man, but who is the right leader for you, it's not about who is a good woman but who is the right partner for you, that fits into your leadership. God is more interested in your life and future, in his plans and purpose for your life. Don't be disappointed by failed relationships, or by people who said no, be bold to end a relationship when you discover God is not in it, and it won't lead you into the fruition of God's plans for your life and be courageous and wise enough to take an ended relationship if you truly trust in God, because God got great plans for you that he is so interested in giving you the right person for your future. It works for your good. Above all pray. #Excerpts .# NectarOfLove . # MyBookWork.

Seriously I didn't read... Please organise your write up properly.