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Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Poll: Should They?

Yes: 76% (60 votes)
No: 23% (18 votes)
This poll has ended

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Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by sosisi(f): 5:48pm On May 14, 2009
Ilelobola:

And why not? If you have children and one person's salary is enough to care for the family why can't she stay home to raise the children? Even if there are no children and the husband is agreeable, I see why not.

One person's salary is enough indeed[b],have you heard of lay offs, downsizing, termination, divorce, sickness, death?[/b]
why should you stay home full time ,are you a quadriplegic?
Children can be put in day care and that woman can carry her behind to work part time.There's no study to show that children in day care are worse off,if anything,they get to associate with other children and learn how to interact from an early age not being smothered at home by a puff puff eating mother.
why should a grown woman depend 100% on a man for financial sustenance,do you know what happens when the " I do" becomes "I don't?"
A wise woman learns from other people's experiences
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by sosisi(f): 5:54pm On May 14, 2009
ugonna245:

my wife tabulates what she needs every month and collects the money and then collect her salary! all from me! house is it proper? cry cry cry lipsrsealed

not proper unless she earns very little
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by temilola12(f): 6:38pm On May 14, 2009
What about in a case that both husband and wife work and the husband never appreciated all what the wife is doing to support the family, he earns more than the wife obviously, has a small business he's doing but he never sees all the bills the wife is paying with her paychecks living from hands to mouth, he does not care how the wife looks, in fact he monitors what the wife wears sometimes. How can that wife ask the husband for allowance?
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by sosisi(f): 8:06pm On May 14, 2009
temilola12:

What about in a case that both husband and wife work and the husband never appreciated all what the wife is doing to support the family, he earns more than the wife obviously, has a small business he's doing but he never sees all the bills the wife is paying with her paychecks living from hands to mouth, he does not care how the wife looks, in fact he monitors what the wife wears sometimes. How can that wife ask the husband for allowance?

Sit down and talk about it with him
If it doesn't work,give him those bills and refuse to pay them
by the time the light gets cut off, and the water is shut down,he'll pay them
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Ilelobola: 8:21pm On May 14, 2009
$osisi:

One person's salary is enough indeed[b],have you heard of lay offs, downsizing, termination, divorce, sickness, death?[/b]
why should you stay home full time ,are you a quadriplegic?
Children can be put in day care and that woman can carry her behind to work part time.There's no study to show that children in day care are worse off,if anything,they get to associate with other children and learn how to interact from an early age not being smothered at home by a puff puff eating mother.
why should a grown woman depend 100% on a man for financial sustenance,do you know what happens when the " I do" becomes "I don't?"
A wise woman learns from other people's experiences


You don't know the husband's income neither do you know their cost of living. There are lots of families where one person's income is enough for them to live on and where the other income is simply to take them to a higher standard of living. There are also those where the one income ensures a very high standard of living beyond others where both parties are working.

Again depending on income, sometimes it's not worth going to work and putting children in Nurseries as they are not cheap. By the time taxes are deducted and travel/lunch etc, it might not be worth going to work. Regardless, if both parties are happy for the woman to stay at home, I ask again, why not?

What you've highlighted in bold doesn't hold water. The woman not working does not save her husband from been made redundant etc. That's what Income Protection Insurance, Life Insurance etc are for.

I asked before, are you married?

Roughlen:

My wife asked me for an allowance and i told her i couldn't afford it but i would rather she table her needs as they come so that i would solve them based on available resources. She got angry and refused to tell me her needs altogether except for pressing needs like making her hair, buying pads or recharge cards.

I don't have any problem with my wife coming to me every now and then asking me she needs this or that and i don't see any reason why she should not be able to tell me her needs.

After sometime, we had issues and she attributed it to my refusal to cater for her needs claiming that i should know when she has needs like changing her undies, buying her cream and toiletries or new clothes since we live in the same house.

At the end of the day, she decided to get a job and she is working now. I expect that since she is working and earning enough to meet her needs the problem is solved. But not at all. she's still calling me a wicked, mean and an 'akagum' of a man even though she doesn't contribute a dime of her income to the upkeep of the home.



You are a lucky man, she should have chopped your clothes and made them into disposable sanitary towels. You deserve every name she calls you though I don't know what 'akagum' means.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by ladej(m): 8:27pm On May 14, 2009
this is not even an issue in my opinion. to each his own i say. what might work for you might not work for others. not all women want to work so if they decide to stay home and the husband agrees to it and gives her a monthly allowance i dont see anyhing wrong with it one bit. if she decides to work and not collect a penny, fine as well. every couple do it the way to benefit themselves. if she feels she needs to receive an allowance then i think it is ok, AFTER ALL IN THE WESTERN WORLD EVEN IF YOU NEVER GIVE YOUR WIFE MONTHLY ALLOWANCE YOU WILL DO IT IF YOU GUYS EVER DIVORCE. ALIMONY BABY ! grin
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by ladej(m): 8:30pm On May 14, 2009
i am a proud yoruba man. I REPEAT IT WILL GIVE ME TREMENDOUS JOY TO GIVE MY WIFE AN ALLOWANCE, AM I NOT HER BETTER HALF? I PRAY GOD CONTINUES TO BLESS ME SO I CAN DO THAT. ANYMAN THAT ARGUES OTHERWISE IS NOT A REAL MAN
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by temilola12(f): 8:32pm On May 14, 2009
Thanks Osisi.
The issue has been discussed many times, but it's like dancing around a very big ball.
When a man has a different opinion on how to treat a wife as a wife not a maid, when a man is so full of himself and thinks nothing or no one knows better than you do then it's somehow difficult.
Your suggestion is highly appreciated, will see to that, hope it works.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by kay7: 8:43pm On May 14, 2009
MAY GOD MAKE US REAL MEN BY PROVIDING ADEQUATELY FOR OUR NEEDS SO THAT WE WILL GIVE NOT ONLY OUR WIVES ALLOWANCES BUT ALSO OUR CHILDREN WHO ARE MATURED TO RECEIVE ALLOWANCES. amen

Why should a man wait for wife and children to ask him for money to buy every little thing they need?
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Nobody: 9:15pm On May 14, 2009
Why would a married woman have to ask her husband for an allowance?

As a married couple, both husband and wife should have access to finances, i.e a joint account.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by ladej(m): 9:22pm On May 14, 2009
Siena:

Why would a married woman have to ask her husband for an allowance?

As a married couple, both husband and wife should have access to finances, i.e a joint account.

joint wetin?? abeg no go off topic bros. each person to his own account.until the woman will clear ur account make ur eye clear well well. stick to individual accounts and assist as necessary
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Nobody: 9:31pm On May 14, 2009
ladej:

joint wetin?? abeg no go off topic bros. each person to his own account.until the woman will clear ur account make ur eye clear well well. stick to individual accounts and assist as necessary

I can't let the love of money, and the distrust of my wife rule my life.
If you can trust your wife with your life, (she cooks your meals) how come you can't trust her with money?

I feel my contribution is valid, and as you said, each to their own - if you feel you have to reduce your wife to asking / begging for money from you, that's your choice.

I'd rather not place my wife in such a position.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by ladej(m): 9:38pm On May 14, 2009
Siena:

I can't let the love of money, and the distrust of my wife rule my life.
If you can trust your wife with your life, (she cooks your meals) how come you can't trust her with money?

I feel my contribution is valid, and as you said, each to their own - if you feel you have to reduce your wife to asking / begging for money from you, that's your choice.

I'd rather not place my wife in such a position.

its about being wise son, after all you both had individual accounts before marrying. if u read my posts above you will see that its a pleasure for me to give the mrs money, no one has to beg for anything. pali to pali that joint account move no be the way. peace
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by obi123: 9:45pm On May 14, 2009
but the thing is we r not sure why she is not working , it could be that she actually is looking for a job and hasnt been lucky, in the meantime there is nothing wrong with the husband giving her the so called allowance or money for her upkeep, even if she were working there is nothing wrong with him giving her from time to time some money for herself.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Nobody: 9:45pm On May 14, 2009
ladej:

its about being wise son, after all you both had individual accounts before marrying. if u read my posts above you will see that its a pleasure for me to give the mrs money, no one has to beg for anything. pali to pali that joint account move no be the way. peace

Nothing wrong with having individual accounts, but a joint one in addition isn't such a lousy idea. A wife that knows how much is in a joint account is most unlikely to make demands on you that are not feasible, she doesn't have to "assume", it's all there in black and white.
I just feel that having seperate accounts only doesn't allow for joint planning for the home.

But, your point's noted, whatever works for you.

Just one thing I'd mention, Ladej - please don't refer to me as "son". For starters, you have no idea how old I am, besides, I find it rather patronizing.
Thank you.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by ladej(m): 9:50pm On May 14, 2009
Siena:

Nothing wrong with having individual accounts, but a joint one in addition isn't such a lousy idea. A wife that knows how much is in a joint account is most unlikely to make demands on you that are not feasible, she doesn't have to "assume", it's all there in black and white.
I just feel that having seperate accounts only doesn't allow for joint planning for the home.

But, your point's noted, whatever works for you.

Just one thing I'd mention, Ladej - please don't refer to me as "son". For starters, you have no idea how old I am, besides, I find it rather patronizing.
Thank you.

your point is noted with regard to having one joint account in addition to existing separate accounts. indeed it assists in planning of the home. calling you son was used as a term of endearment and never meant to patronise or belittle you in anyway. apologies in order.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Nobody: 10:09pm On May 14, 2009
Thanks, Ladej.

Usually, I don't react to a lot of things, but it's been a heavy week.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by ladej(m): 10:14pm On May 14, 2009
Siena:

Thanks, Ladej.

Usually, I don't react to a lot of things, but it's been a heavy week.

no wahala boss. TGIF tomorrow. have a good one
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by TOPE20001(f): 10:41pm On May 14, 2009
Siena:

I can't let the love of money, and the distrust of my wife rule my life.
If you can trust your wife with your life, (she cooks your meals) how come you can't trust her with money?

I feel my contribution is valid, and as you said, each to their own - if you feel you have to reduce your wife to asking / begging for money from you, that's your choice.

I'd rather not place my wife in such a position.


God bless u kiss

@Post
She shudnt even have to ask before given cool
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by amaks: 10:42pm On May 14, 2009
allowance what kind of relationship /marriage is that? is she a househelp or something? ure partners pls. it should be something that is done out of love n mutual understanding, n esp if d man if the man earns more than her, or shes not working/business. n not in form of a monthly allowance, huh! i even wonder y some woman would want 2 sit at home doing nothing in this era of women empowerment/liberation.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Okijajuju1(m): 10:51pm On May 14, 2009
@ Post

ALLOWANCE!! Hellz no!!

If you are talking bout giving the wife money every now and again for her up keep, house keeping e.t.c, then by all means yes, every married man needs to do this. But ALLOWANCE!! NO.

Thats another way of saying should a housewife recieve monthly salary from her husband?? I'll be damned before I pay my wife any salary.

Why not should a husband pay his crippled wife disability, or should a housewife demand a pension scheme from her husband for old age. If we start this bloody allowance scheme, how long before we increase her salary.

Handouts!! Yes

ALLOWANCE, NO
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by biina: 11:22pm On May 14, 2009
I don't like the premise of 'demand for an allowance'.
The income to the home belongs to the couple and not the individual (irrespective of who is working or not) and thus it should be a joint decision on how it is spent.
Getting allowances sounds more like if you are being paid to be is wife, a tone I would rather not hear.

I might be odd, but it peeves me when I hear couples, particularly men, use phrases like 'my house', 'my car' etc. They are phrases I would understand coming from a bachelor, but not a married man

1 Like

Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Okijajuju1(m): 11:47pm On May 14, 2009
Biina

I'm guessing you are a woman.

biina:

I don't like the premise of 'demand for an allowance'.

Me neither.

biina:

The income to the home belongs to the couple and not the individual (irrespective of who is working or not) and thus it should be a joint decision on how it is spent.

I totally disagree with you. If monkey works, then baboon will decide how to spend the monkeys salary abi!! NO!. The income belongs to the earner, to be spent on the family. The man is the head of the family, if he works, its his money. The woman is the assistant to the head, if she works, its her money.

biina:

Getting allowances sounds more like if you are being paid to be is wife, a tone I would rather not hear.

I absolutely concur.

biina:

I might be odd, but it peeves me when I hear couples, particularly men, use phrases like 'my house', 'my car' etc. They are phrases I would understand coming from a bachelor, but not a married man

So if the man owned the car, the house and all the stuff before the woman came in, is it still "our" stuff?? Whoevers name is on the lease, particulars or reciepts owns the stuff. That joint thing is so 1999. Remember that stuffs jointly owned are split right down the middle in case of a divorce.


We are cool with giving our stay at home wives money everyday if need be. But immediately it becomes mandatory, then she automatically becomes my employee wife (catch my drift) wink
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by glotes(f): 12:02am On May 15, 2009
I think a man should give his wife allowance especially if she is a house-wife, there is nothing wrong in being a stay-at-home mom. Somewhat they must reach an agreement, he either gives her allowance or she gets working. But every parent knows that bringing up their children without major outside influence like e.g Nannies, Care-givers or even Househelps is priceless. That aside, it helps the man in a way, knowing how much he sets aside for his family gives him a clear start, without having his wife piss him off, each time she needs money to take care of some basic things.
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Okijajuju1(m): 12:06am On May 15, 2009
All you pro-allowees.

How much should be the ideal allowance for a housewife with two kids aged 8 and 6, that lives in a three bedroom flat, with 1 housemaid that does virtually everything except bath my wife?? angry
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Oxone(m): 12:14am On May 15, 2009
ofcourse an allowance should be given to the wife, it will be totally unfair if she has to meet oga for evry of her needs
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by Okijajuju1(m): 12:32am On May 15, 2009
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by sosisi(f): 1:00am On May 15, 2009
Ilelobola:

You don't know the husband's income neither do you know their cost of living. There are lots of families where one person's income is enough for them to live on and where the other income is simply to take them to a higher standard of living. There are also those where the one income ensures a very high standard of living beyond others where both parties are working.


You miss the point entirely
This is not about how much the man makes or his ability to provide,it's about a woman being out there in the work force and earning a living no matter how small.Nobody knows tomorrow.There would be nothing like divorce if there was no marriage.

Again depending on income, sometimes it's not worth going to work and putting children in Nurseries as they are not cheap. By the time taxes are deducted and travel/lunch etc, it might not be worth going to work. Regardless, if both parties are happy for the woman to stay at home, I ask again, why not?

That is not the issue.By the time a woman decides that she's not worth working and earning a living and would rather sit around asking for money for sanitary pads, the day the man hands her "The daily sun" to use for her monthly cycle,she should accept it with grace.
She can get an education if all she could get are menial jobs and hit the pavements like the rest of us.
Then you think he'll happily hand over that allowance during the tough challenges of marriage.
Both parties could be " happy" but remember that all destitute divorces started off as the love of someone's life.

What you've highlighted in bold doesn't hold water. The woman not working does not save her husband from been made redundant etc. That's what Income Protection Insurance, Life Insurance etc are for.

Do you suppose every reader and contributor on this forum lives in the West?
Do those policies exist in Abeokuta and Abakaliki?
Do you also suppose that the wife is always a beneficiary of a life insurance policy?
do you know they can be changed ?
So income protection insurance from the husband will save a divorced woman?
Puhlease!
I say get a J.O.B

I asked before, are you married?

For more than a decade to the same man and I work too
and I receive no handouts because I don't need them cool

Go and get married and stay home for one year ,then come back and tell us your experiences.
Th mere fact that we're talking about this on a thread tells you how demeaning it is to ask and beg your fellow adult for upkeep money
Husband or no husband,he could say yes,he could also say no or decide how much you get.
If you don't find it demeaning,I'll say you've been properly "trained".
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by ladej(m): 1:11am On May 15, 2009
Okija_juju:

Biina

I'm guessing you are a woman.

Me neither.

I totally disagree with you. If monkey works, then baboon will decide how to spend the monkeys salary abi!! NO!. The income belongs to the earner, to be spent on the family. The man is the head of the family, if he works, its his money. The woman is the assistant to the head, if she works, its her money.

I absolutely concur.

So if the man owned the car, the house and all the stuff before the woman came in, is it still "our" stuff?? Whoevers name is on the lease, particulars or reciepts owns the stuff. That joint thing is so 1999. Remember that stuffs jointly owned are split right down the middle in case of a divorce.


We are cool with giving our stay at home wives money everyday if need be. But immediately it becomes mandatory, then she automatically becomes my employee wife (catch my drift) wink
i agree 100 % boss. if the money was 'our' money why do people leave wills when they die? n be our money? abeggggggggggggggi
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by olaideq(f): 1:31am On May 15, 2009
To me, a housewife shouldnt demand an allowance from his husband because a responsibe husband should set aside a total amount of money for his wife's upkeeps every month
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by amebono13: 4:29am On May 15, 2009
TOPE2000!:

God bless u kiss

@Post
She shudnt even have to ask before given cool

abi oooo undecided undecided

seriously a man is supposed to be a man, even if your wife earns more than u, atleast even if it is 50 naira, theres nothing wrong in telling her " hey darling, take this 50 naira and go spoil urself a little, if there is any change left , plss bring it back"  grin cheesy

there is this doctor friend of mine, her husband is a "guy man" grin grin all them men that want their women to stand out in the crowd, for every occassion he wants her to look good, she earns good money cos she works, she buys her clothes, but no matter what she buys d man will tell her its not enough,smtimes he will go out to the shop with her (if they are both bored )and buy clothes for her(even help her pick out the clothes that suit her) grin grin and pay with his own money. i don know wat kind of akagum some men r turning into this days

abegiii some men sef get their own wahala
Re: Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance? by walestar(m): 4:58am On May 15, 2009
its good to give an allowance but woman should not demand for it. I give my gilfriend money but she never demanded because I have chase away the demanding ones, this issue of allowance may lead to divorce if force on the husband when he is broke but woman should work and not be a burden because they are partner and not pet

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