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How Do You Treat Your Maid? - Family - Nairaland

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How Do You Treat Your Househelp/maid? / Employer Cuts Maid's Toes. / Maid Serving The Husband: Right Or Wrong? (1) (2) (3) (4)

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How Do You Treat Your Maid? by nickybayo(f): 8:35pm On May 13, 2009
hi guys
i just spent the most horrible week of my life as a maid
trust me, its not something you want to experience

makes me wonder if all maids are treated d same way or if its just my boss that is cruel

so, how do u treat ur maids?
,

some pple actually think i'm impersonating
how thick is that?
somebody actually suggests i might be looking for ways to hear pple's view so that i will know how to treat my maid
that's also not true
i did spent a week as a maid,
the boss is my sister's mentor, she told her she needed someone to stay with her cos all her kids are abroad and she's lonely and blah blah blah
i tot staying with her will be like a dream come true, i'll be able to get access to things i dont have access to at home
but no, it's exactly d opposite
she has 3 maids already{so i dont get the lonely part} and treats us like poo

and concerning my education and computer literacy, i was a teacher but i wrote in my resignation letter d day my sis told me of the so called "opportunity"
i'm a college of education student, year 3, mathematics, so ,

i hope that answers all your questions and speculation
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by dani1luv: 2:07pm On May 14, 2009
This goes for those who have maid

MOVED to the Family Section
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Ujujoan(f): 3:01pm On May 14, 2009
How does a maid have access to a Computer and Internet? I tot that job was reserved for Illiterates and you dont sound like one to me.

Anyway, I dont think you should expect the same treatment given to the family members. But I guess some people can be plain wcked to their maids.

Hey, I'm just nosing around. I dont have one so I really shouldnt be answering your question. wink smiley
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Seun(m): 3:05pm On May 14, 2009
@nickybayo: your boss was cruel and most Nigerians seem to think maids are subhuman.
Please get out of it if you can afford to, no point suffering for a pittance, if you have options.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by dae(f): 3:14pm On May 14, 2009
nickybayo:

hi guys
i just spent the most horrible week of my life as a maid
trust me, its not something you want to experience

makes me wonder if all maids are treated d same way or if its just my boss that is cruel

so, how do u treat ur maids?

Well, i think maids are human, and should be treated as one. They are in that position because condition warrants them to be, My parents taught me "All fingers are not equal, but they on the same hand" which means, we are all humans but not in the same position in life. When i was in naija, we treated our maids with respect o, infact, we had to call them "aunty". My mom never allowed them to do anything for me as a girl, i had to wash my own school uniform, iron, i had my own chores too, i even cooked for the family sometimes, treatment in the house was equal. And i'm glad i did that cos it has had a positive effect on who i am today. I know many ajebo girls who cant even cook ordinary stew -- talkless of making more complicated foods.

My advice is - just be positive, no condition is permanent. God has reasons for putting us in positions we find ourselves in, Besides, cant u find another job other than the maid job? you sound TOO Literate to be a maid.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Gabry(f): 3:15pm On May 14, 2009
I never had a problem with all my maids naa. All of them work for me for the max 10 years each from the day I was born! And this present one is 6 years now.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by proudly9ja(m): 3:18pm On May 14, 2009
@ poster

Maids in Nigeria are badly treated. Funny enough, a lot of maids are actually sisters/borthers/cousins of one of the ogas. How a human being can maltreat a fellow human being is beyond me but then again like someone said, if you can afford to run and leave, please do so.

Moreover, could you be more explicit on how you were maltreated? Who knows, some NLers may be abl to help via citizens forum which Im sure we have in Naija
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Phemour(m): 3:22pm On May 14, 2009
I treat our house maid justifiably but sometimes I feel am injustice coz of her age.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Ilelobola: 3:25pm On May 14, 2009
I believe we treat her just like any other member of our family and she feels the same as I’ve overheard her on the phone telling her folks back home too. We all party and dine in/out together except my husband and I want to spend time alone together. She’s also encouraged to go out with friends from school at weekends so she doesn’t miss out.

I share the household chores with her as I don’t think it’s right for my husband to join in whilst we have help. She also goes to school at weekend and evenings when I’m home from work. We’ve had people tell us we are over-indulging her especially visitors from Nig but until she proves herself unworthy, it’s worked for us for about a year now since she came to our home. It’s not always honky dory but she’s about the same age as my youngest brother and patience can be a virtue when dealing with someone of that age but I remind myself that I’ve been through it all too.

The only problem I seem to have now is that my 20 month old daughter is starting to prefer her sometimes when she’s upset to me; now that does seriously bother me.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by manmustwac(m): 3:27pm On May 14, 2009
I dey nack am well well coz man must nack smiley
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by oluite(f): 3:49pm On May 14, 2009
Most pple tend to maltreat maids n evn relatives stayin with them.Growing up,we had maids and relative with us.The attention,my mum gave relatives used to annoy me then but now i understand she was tryin to teach us hw to treat pple.Imagine having to ask ur cousins wat they ar avin for breakfast,lunch n dinner while they sleep or watch TV and u had to set table n ask if they were okay several times.I remember once we were all watchin TV,i was thristy n politely asked d maid to get me a glass of water,my mum asked wat happen to my hands n legs n i was warned to neva to snd her on errands.All of us had our chores maid,me n my siblings.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by djcrucifix(m): 3:55pm On May 14, 2009
How does a maid have access to a Computer and Internet? I tot that job was reserved for Illiterates and you dont sound like one to me.




seriuously. how?

i think maids should be treated like human beings and not animals. of course they cannot be treated in tthe same way as family members but they should at least be shown human kindness in all ramifications.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by banom(m): 3:55pm On May 14, 2009
nickybayo:

hi guys
i just spent the most horrible week of my life as a maid
trust me, its not something you want to experience

makes me wonder if all maids are treated d same way or if its just my boss that is cruel

so, how do u treat ur maids?


The most important law a maid must observe is: Never outshine your master or mistress, if your master blows you bend in that direction, no questions or hard feelings attatched, serve him/her with prudence and respect,be  patience and wait for best chance and oppurtunity to come, if heaven grants you that, Then you warck your master/mistress and become the boss. Simple.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by kokoye(m): 3:58pm On May 14, 2009
Really, why treat ur maid badly? this is the same person who prepares your food, lays your bed, takes care of ur kids and stays alone in the house when ur at work??   has it ever occured to you that the maid has your balls and can poison you or ur kids??

it is just like talking trash to the person waiting on you @ a restaurant - she can put all sorts of stuff on ur plate.

Be nice to the person serving you cos they can easily kill you.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by maedan(f): 4:05pm On May 14, 2009
^^^ yeah, maltreated maids can be mean cheesy, when they get the chance, if not to u then to ur kids. Heard something about one housemaid of less than 16years actually abusing her madam's daughter(5-7yrs). I'm talking sexually. Others can use witchcraft, or plain beating ur kids to pieces when u're not at home. On the other hand, no matter how well u treat some maids, they'll still bite the finger that feeds them. It's all about attitude, so moms and dads, be prayerful and beware.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by kakaya: 4:52pm On May 14, 2009
Treat them well o, because they are the ones who look after the children when you're not there, also in the kitchen. you know, even if one has a very wicked heart but is being treated fine; i mean feeding on time, has one or two clothes to change to, sometimes share ice cream with them but dont let them get used to it. but still leave that gap o and dont let them get into you.
we need wisdom with this people,
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Ujujoan(f): 5:07pm On May 14, 2009
djcrucifix:




seriuously. how?

i think maids should be treated like human beings and not animals. of course they cannot be treated in tthe same way as family members but they should [b]at least be shown human kindness in all ramifications.
[/b]


Like my Computer and my Internet? Nah, no maid is going near that. Its like giving my help my car to use. I dont think I can do that sha.

While I was growing up we never really had 'maids'. Relatives were always around to help out in the house and of course they got the same treatments cos they are family.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Nobody: 5:08pm On May 14, 2009
Ewuuuuuuuuuuuu!!

See how this ppl dey enjoy life o.
Ontop of all the nice houses and cars they have, them even have maids.

Hmm hmm. ema j'aiye lo
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by ifyalways(f): 5:28pm On May 14, 2009
Dont have maids,dont need them.My mum never had.
Assuming i have,i wud surely treat him/her as my own.
BTW,theres a big diffrence btw 9ja maids/nanny and the ones in Developed countries.  undecided Most of us cant afford them sef plus,u gotta treat them with respect.no phocking around or trying to mess up with them.9ja is another thing altogether.in most places that name "maid" means  slave  angry But OP ,u have access to computer?in 9ja?. . . .u are better off than lots. cheesy and u did not say specifically what ur employers did
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Nobody: 5:35pm On May 14, 2009
We had a maid while growing up and I don't think she was treated any differently from us. We all got the same punishment. lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Theblessed(f): 5:39pm On May 14, 2009
Hmmm! To be a MAID for an African family or a Nigerian one for that matter  Baby, don't even dream it. We Africans, nothing we like best than to be Oga and Madam.  You see, our people were enslaved during the Slave Trade and we all know the impact of that on our selves and society.  Instead of us to learn from the experience and treat our own people the way we would like to be treated (Hmmm, just forget it!!) we are even worse than the colonial masters.  Black man/woman like to be worshipped like gods.  Because your relatives are consider poor and hand you over to the well-to-do uncle, cousin etc to care for you boy, you will know about it and swear never again in your next life.  There are a handful of Nigerian men/women serving long jail terms here in the West as a result of in-humane treatments perpetrated on their maid relatives.  Quite unbelievable what a human being could to another because he/she felt they have the power and therefore, can do what they like.  In fact, human beings are the most wicked thing God ever created.  Because, the Oga and Madam put that food on the plate (which your parent could not afford for you), new clothes on your body, shoes on your feet - wait for it!  For that reason I'm afraid, your name is SLAVE!!!!
You will suffer!  Some of these so call Oba of these families that mal-treat other peoples children just because to they are helping their maids families back home could vouch how well they treat these innocent young girls but I say to them - YOU ARE ALL LIERS!!!!!!!!!!!
You never treat these kids exactly the same way as your own children, period.  And if you say you do, I challenge you all, to get these maids of yours online or on the phone to speak with the Nairaland moderators about their experiences in your household without your presence in the room or any where near the vicinity this interaction is taking place - then you will see how cruel you so called OGAs' and your wives the MADAMS' from 'HELL' really are.  IT'S LIKE HAVING A WICKED STEP MOTHER in fact, a wicked step mum is even better - at least you could teach her a lesson or two and your family will always be on your side.  However, with your Oga-madam sorry, you won't have legs to stand. Should I talk about the physical, verbal and emotional abuses these kids suffer - the beatings, the name calling, the humiliation please, forget it. I have been one of these SLAVE girls myself.  I served my own blood aunt - my mother's sister (the same mother and father as my mum) and swear never in my life would I watch a kid in my blood line serve any body and no one serves anybody in my family - both my maternal and paternal sides). I HATE this idea of boy, boy thing.  I loathe anybody wanting others to serve them.  As far as I'm concerned, people should eat their own food, wash their own plates, dry them and put them away, wash their own clothes, make their own beds, tidy up their own homes, run their own errands, care for their own children because they brought them into the world etc that way, they will learn to respect other peoples' children WHEN CONSIDERING A MAID.  To that I must add, 'treat people (Big or Small)the way you would like to be treated' and that's the MORAL CODE.  Africans are worse in these things as there are no laws to protect these maids and even if there are laws in place, who would enforce them??  The Western world got it right - you want a slave?  Well, you can have one and it's called HOME HELP.  But, you 'd pay for it on hourly basis accordinging to current market rates. I think the current rate now is about £6.00 - £10.00 per hour if not more and depends on how many hours you want the servant to work for you usually those with money tends to go for 1-5 hours each day.  And for people like you and I who wants a maid, can we afford it?? By the time you check your salary, and your home expenses, you would have known that you are not cutting your coat according to your size and, shoes does really have sizes you know grin grin grin. As for, Mr Oga and Madam, I say, if a family you know is having difficulty raising their kids due to poverty instead of exploiting their vulnerability by taking one two of their children into slavery called MAID, why not give them a NET TO CATCH THEIR OWN FISH - that way you would have made the biggest difference in their lives and God will reward and bless you more wink wink.  Think about it!!!!
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by kshow1(m): 5:56pm On May 14, 2009
i never really lived with a maid all my life (family members filled their vacancies) until i got married and had a child.
nickybayo:

hi guys
i just spent the most horrible week of my life as a maid
trust me, its not something you want to experience

makes me wonder if all maids are treated d same way or if its just my boss that is cruel

so, how do u treat ur maids?

but sha this post is not coming from a maid, if you could communicate like this on net then why taking up a maids job.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Theblessed(f): 6:00pm On May 14, 2009
djcrucifix:
of course they cannot be treated in tthe same way as family members but they should at least be shown human kindness in all ramifications.

Excuse me, from the above statement - how do you mean

What's wrong in treating you slaves as family. If it's good enough for you, it's damn good enough for them too.  Afterall, you have a heart and they have hearts too, what's the difference?

Are we not all human beings and should be treated with respect?  Just because she comes from a poor family and you happens to put food on her plate gave you the godamn right to treat him/her as a your second best, is it??  Now, the world can see how bad habits are passed from one generation to the other.  Because, what you are expressing here right now is but the upbringing you had.  This is why people like this still have it in their heads that they are the master any other person is below them and should be treated as second citizen. 
Sorry, dear but you don't know tomorrow.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by tpiah: 6:15pm On May 14, 2009
I cant have a maid.

I wouldnt know how to treat him/her.

We had relatives staying with us when we were young, and some of them still have grudges I think. Or heard. Even though my dad has a very egalitarian view of such things and to the best of my knowledge, behaved the same way to everyone as he did with his own kids.

No matter what you do, its just not the same as your children. Regardless if you think you're treating them the same, the fact that they're different will always be at the back of everyone's mind.

I've also heard horror stories about witches, evil maids, etc.

I'd much rather pay the hourly wage like they do abroad - that makes everything easier.

In some instances, you have to bring relatives into your home eg in cases of bereavement, etc, but you should go the extra mile then. How many people are willing to do that.




however, @ OP

your english and computer skills dont seem like a maid's?
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by OMOIBO1: 6:26pm On May 14, 2009
why do some of you have this achaic image/thought of maids?
some oga's and madam's make it compulsory for their maids to go to school and be able to use computers. this i can testify to.

anyways,
i personally wont need a maid. i do not subscribe to it.
if madam insists then we'll only have one that comes over for a couple of hours and goes.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by tpiah: 6:49pm On May 14, 2009
OMO IBO:

why do some of you have this achaic image/thought of maids?
some oga's and madam's make it compulsory for their maids to go to school and be able to use computers. this i can testify to.


her diction doesnt seem like a maid's, unless she's working abroad and was a temporary maid in order to raise some funds.



Words like "horrible", for instance, arent generally common in Nigerian English. And most Nigerian maids wouldnt be able to access a computer unless things have changed.

A Nigerian maid is also less likely to use words like "boss" and "trust me"- s/he'd rather say "oga" and "I say",imo.

"Hi guys" ? that's American.



nickybayo:

hi guys
i just spent the most horrible week of my life as a maid
trust me, its not something you want to experience

makes me wonder if all maids are treated d same way or if its just my boss that is cruel

so, how do u treat ur maids?

Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by kay7: 8:25pm On May 14, 2009
Poster may be role-playing but it doesn't relly matter. Subject is thought provoking.

We are no different than maids. We are only opportuned and priviledged to have the type of background and upbringing we possess and this should not make us demi-gods. (some people are self- made but they also had some sought of opportunities and favours which they made use of) However lets all remeber that maids are human beings and when we 'employ' them its because we need their services.

They provide personal service like child tending, cooking, washing and cleaning. Services upon which our lives hinge on. Should we treat them wickedly, we're only putting our lives and those of our families at risk. Ever heard of an HIV maid using same tooth brush with the kids and infecting the kids? Probably, she had no tooth brush or the kids brushes we better than hers and she wanted to have a feel of a good brush? - just imaginations - but it could happen!

Treat them like human beings and see it as a service to humanity and to someone who is disadvantaged. Rewards may come only come from God who sees and knows your intentions, and who knows, you may even get our reward on earth!
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Krayola(m): 9:22pm On May 14, 2009
I think it is different depending on the household. We treated our maids like family. When we moved to Canada we even brought our maid with us and my mum processed her papers for her and sent her to school to learn English. She is now married to one Naija car dealer and has a son and is doing pretty well. Some people treat their maids like slaves and that is just unfortunate. Our ex-maid, though illiterate, is one of the wisest and most beautiful personalities i've ever met. During my juvenile years the talks she used to give me sunk in more than the lectures from my parents. She's like a sister to me.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by michelin89(f): 10:32pm On May 14, 2009
Imagine. Those who are saying "Maids should be treated as human" are still the same people asking how come she is educated and has access to a computer. Perhaps you guys think maids for real are subhuman. Stop trying to paint others bad when you aren't good yourself.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by AmAlone: 10:48pm On May 14, 2009
michelin89:

Imagine. Those who are saying "Maids should be treated as human" are still the same people asking how come she is educated and has access to a computer. Perhaps you guys think maids for real are subhuman. Stop trying to paint others bad when you aren't good yourself.


That Is, I tire. . . . .
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by Ndipe(m): 11:26pm On May 14, 2009
michelin89:

Imagine. Those who are saying "Maids should be treated as human" are still the same people asking how come she is educated and has access to a computer. Perhaps you guys think maids for real are subhuman. Stop trying to paint others bad when you aren't good yourself.

I think the respondents are curious as to why she is complaining of being treated cruelly by her bosses at home, yet has access to a computer terminal. Those two certainly dont go hand in hand.
Re: How Do You Treat Your Maid? by rusky(m): 12:05am On May 15, 2009
I can only say this. I do not BELIEVE that the person that posted this is really a maid. I believe its just someone trying to find out how she should treat her maid. This impersonation should stop.

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