Hello nairalanders, is it not funny and somewhat annoying how we can give good relationship advices to other people and we seem to be confused when faced with our own issues. Well I'm in that situation now and I need your help.

I am currently engaged to this lady and we have even done an introduction, we've been through the various phases of relationship together, the happy days, sad days, break up periods, make up times etc. I love her, but I'm having doubts as to whether I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

We are age mates but she looks older than I am already even before having kids. She has had to change her religion just to make the relationship work and I think I'm going through with these relationship out of pity for her sacrifices, I fear this pity would one day wear out and i'll start resenting her and myself. Should I be worried about these feelings or is it just the normal cold feets guys get before finally saying the "I Do". Pls help me out guys.

Will really appreciate if this can make front page, this is my first ever NL post.
Thanks!

Its not normal cold feet. U should be very much worried...


U said it
I love her out of pity.


Neva eva marry out of pity...

Instead, take her picture and while lookin at her, take a pen and paper and write out good reasons why u wr attracted to her in d first place.. What makes her so special. Look at the good sides and list dem out... While doin dis, ask for an alone time from her to think. One week should be enough.. No communication...




Wen d week is ova, thank me later

Bro I feel you....


If your not sure, don't get married man. Its a life time shitt..

Free her man..she will vex and be sad and shiit...

But that'll be the best thing you'll do for her...


Marrying her out of pity is a fucckkuppp

At this junction you can't turn back, you have bought the goods already, she's yours. If I get you right you even have a child with her already, guy abeg, happy/unhappy married life awaits you.

If you marry outta pity; it's gon' be a whole lotsa pity for you man.
Once pity is there... Nonono for me o.
But you committed already man... Her heart mehn. I feel for her.
But don't marry outta pity; cos that would break her even more in the marriage when you now find true love else where.

Chanchit:
At this junction you can't turn back, you have bought the goods already, she's yours. If I get you right you even have a child with her already, guy abeg, happy/unhappy married life awaits you.

We don't have a child yet

My brother what can i say?. C'mon marry her first and later on in the marriage things will work out fine if you fit trust me. The devil is a joker bro.

kramfonos:

You dated her even when you knew "she looks older".
She's made sacrifices for you and even changing her religion whilst fighting off the rebellious tag by her family.
She, according to you, has been faithful to you.
What else do you need, dude? Yeah, NEED and not WANT.
How sure are you that the other supposed YOUNGER-LOOKING girls aren't being masked by the thick coat of EMULSION PAINT they smear on their faces?

I think your priorities are misplaced.

for real.some people think with their anus

No reasonable man will follow this your word, but loosers will do.

Chanchit:
At this junction you can't turn back, you have bought the goods already, she's yours. If I get you right you even have a child with her already, guy abeg, happy/unhappy married life awaits you.

kramfonos:

You dated her even when you knew "she looks older".
She's made sacrifices for you and even changing her religion whilst fighting off the rebellious tag by her family.
She, according to you, has been faithful to you.
What else do you need, dude? Yeah, NEED and not WANT.
How sure are you that the other supposed YOUNGER-LOOKING girls aren't being masked by the thick coat of EMULSION PAINT they smear on their faces?

I think your priorities are misplaced.

his priorities are totally misplaced...like what do men really want?
bros whether this marriage is out of pity or not there is no turning back...marriage is not all about love,why did you not notice her looks before she changed her religion,before you proposed etc...na now when time don go for the lady you know all this....do you know what it takes to change ones religion for a man,i bow for that lady because i left a perfect relationship of two years because of religious differences,unless you wanna be selfish just go ahead biko





i still maintain my stand i no go fit sacrifice my anything for any guy....imagine talk

Seems it's now a trend for people to get engaged, and later run to this forum and be blabbing all sorts of rubbish about how they suddenly realized they and their partner were not meant to be 2geta, na so d issue of BABY MAMA START. it is not by force 2 gt married . after all the advises given here and there, I wonder the ones u guys finally settle FOR. ME DON TIRE TO ADVISE. FOLLOW YOUR HEART.

fammo:
Hello nairalanders, is it not funny and somewhat annoying how we can give good relationship advices to other people and we seem to be confused when faced with our own issues. Well I'm in that situation now and I need you help. I am currently engaged to this lady and we have even done an introduction, we've been through the various phases of relationship together, the happy days, sad days, break up periods, make up times etc. I love her, but I'm having doubts as to whether I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
We are age mates but she looks older than I am already even before having kids. She has had to change her religion just to make the relationship work and I think I'm going throug h with these relationship out of pity for her sacrifices, I fear this pity would one day wear out and i'll start resenting her and myself. Should I be worried about these feelings or is it just the normal cold feets guys get before finally saying the "I Do". Pls help me out guys.
Will really appreciate if this can make front page, this is my first ever NL post.
Thanks!

After fvcking her in and out, up and down you are begining to look for a stupid excuse abi? I see why its best to treat guys ur type like shit, becos that's the only way you hold your ladies in high regards. Now you will start getting advice here that " you should not marry out of pity" from people who know nothing about ur relationship.




You are a fool.

BlackrulesDworld:
No reasonable man will follow this your word, but loosers will do.

Ok. Your comment would just make me sound harsh to the Op but there are somethings you have to think through before going deep into relationships, you don't do introduction out of pity, If I'm not sure about what I'm doing I won't meet her parent. why would I go all the way before noticing she's aging? Just imagine how you would feel if a girl tells you she's no longer interested after the intro' because she thinks you are aging? What do you want her to tell friends and family? And women re emotional being. If you do that to my sister and she commits suicide, you won't also live to tell the story. Cc fammo

Michellla:

for real.some people think with their anus

So when are you changing this lyrics to the beatles song on ur sig', the colour makes it impossible not to be noticed.

Chanchit:




So when are you changing this lyrics to the beatles song on ur sig', the colour makes it impossible not to be noticed.

and what happened to it?

Michellla:
A girl gives up almost everything for you.

One week to your marriage you're contemplating on whether or not to marry again.


isnt that wickedness?

yeah it is... He should hav told her frm d onset he ddnt wana marry her...

Cutehector:
yeah it is... He should hav told her frm d onset he ddnt wana marry her...

thats exactly where he went wrong.

Michellla:

thats exactly where he went wrong.

yea right. Marriage ish.. Sometimes we think we hav to marry evry partner we go out on a date with....
Sometimes, I am yet to understand the whole point of the relationship thing.. Two people fall in love, d next thing, dey break up..


U eva thought abt that befor?

Cold feet before marriage is VERY NORMAL bro.

It isn't always difficult to settle with the one you love but you will surely develop cold feet once it's dawned on you that there's no going back.

From your tone, you love her and it only takes a lady that loves a man to change her religion to please him.

She has done a lot of sacrifice for just a boyfriend, I believe she will do more for a husband. Such ladies are hard to come by, so ignore the devil's trick and move on.

Don't worry bro, HML in advance.

JumpingChicken:


After fvcking her in and out, up and down you are begining to look for a stupid excuse abi? I see why its best to treat guys ur type like shit, becos that's the only way you hold your ladies in high regards. Now you will start getting advice here that " you should not marry out of pity" from people who know nothing about ur relationship.




You are a fool.

I'm very sure there are more subtle ways to pass your message bro....thanks anyway

SirJeffry:
Cold feet before marriage is VERY NORMAL bro.

It isn't always difficult to settle with the one you love but you will surely develop cold feet once it's dawned on you that there's no going back.

From your tone, you love her and it only takes a lady that loves a man to change her religion to please him.

She has done a lot of sacrifice for just a boyfriend, I believe she will do more for a husband. Such ladies are hard to come by, so ignore the devil's trick and move on.

Don't worry bro, HML in advance.

Thanks

JumpingChicken:


After fvcking her in and out, up and down you are begining to look for a stupid excuse abi? I see why its best to treat guys ur type like shit, becos that's the only way you hold your ladies in high regards. Now you will start getting advice here that " you should not marry out of pity" from people who know nothing about ur relationship.




You are a fool.

Everyfing must nt be fucking fucking fucking... If u cant pass a reasonable advice without spilling d word fucking go to bed










Ure d big fool instead

Op you are a very wicked and evil genius to ever think of calling off a marriage with a girl that has wasted her time,energy and even made sacrifices for you..Don't you have a conscience??why didn't you think like this at the onset..Why now that she has gone this far with you.. If she is your sister and someone does that to her how would u feel..Do you know how many men she might have turned down just to be with you..If you dare try and brake that girls heart any curse she lays upon you will surely follow u.What exactly do u want in a woman..Is it these daughters or jezebel that we see every were today that you think are better?? I know a man and several men who are living under serious curses from ladies they wasted time with and later dumped..I know of a lady who cursed her man of many years who dumped her for another girl after he made money. saying that he would never live to marry another woman..MY dear that guy died in an accident while taking his new iyawo to d east to see his parents,The lady survived but d guy died with his sister..Don't ever joke with the fury of a scorned woman..After u don chop all d nutrients from her come waste all her years with you,you now want to dump her at this stage. For a flimsy excuse such as looks instead of even her character.Some men are really heartless!!Go and marry your wife,And love her as God has commanded you..Even the most beautiful girl u know today might become far less attractive after givin birth to kids..Love is what matters.Evryoda thing is superficial.

What is the pointyou want to marry out of pity


tommorrow you will wake up and start reminding her how you are managing her,how she is nt your actual taste thereby leaving the woman frustrated and miserable...


Marriage is a life time thing hence the two parties involved must have a kinda fondness,mutual frndship,tolerance so as to be able to withstand the storm...



With what you typed up there,it obvious that mutual friendship and tolerance is lacking..


Please and please,if you know you wouldnt be able to cherish her for the life of you,kindly sit her down and discus with her....



It will hurt but it d be more painful marrying her and treating her with contempt probably due to her age,body structure and the rest....

fexyrich:
Op you are a very wicked and evil genius to ever think of calling off a marriage with a girl that has wasted her time,energy and even made sacrifices for you..Don't you have a conscience??why didn't you think like this at the onset..Why now that she has gone this far with you.. If she is your sister and someone does that to her how would u feel..Do you know how many men she might have turned down just to be with you..If you dare try and brake that girls heart any curse she lays upon you will surely follow u.What exactly do u want in a woman..Is it these daughters or jezebel that we see every were today that you think are better?? I know a man and several men who are living under serious curses from ladies they wasted time with and later dumped..I know of a lady who cursed her man of many years saying that he would never live to marry another woman..MY dear that guy died in an accident while taking his new iyawo to d east to see his parents,The lady survived but d guy died with his sister..Don't ever joke with the fury of a scorned woman..After u don chop all d nutrients from her come waste all her years with you,you now want to dump her at this stage. For a flimsy excuse such as looks instead of even her character.Some men are really heartless!!Go and marry your wife,And love her as God has commanded you..Even the most beautiful girl u know today might become far less attractive after givin birth to kids..Love is what matters.Evryoda thing is superficial.

wonders!!

You are advising her to marry out of pity to the poor woman uuuh


Listen,no matter how painful letting her go will be it still far better than making her miserable for the life of her....

There is nothing like that..Ife they have been together for a while they must be fond of each oda by now and they would always be able to work things out..the guy is just being unnecessarily nervous.He should follow his heart but what ever is the consequences he shld be ready to bear it..I cannot waste a girls time for years and after getting her engaged and introduing her to my family now dump her for no reason..Aside from her looks which she can always work on..Was he blind all these years they were dating..Why did he tie her down and now trying to run away..That's the height of immaturity..kids don't have any business dating,relationships are for d matured not just in age but in mind..The op is not matured if not he would look beyond superficial things like what he is looking at now and go after more important virtues d woman possesses..So even you as a woman is supporting him to do this?? Why do u girls hate urslf like dis??SMH!!

Jollyjoy:
wonders!!

You are advising her to marry out of pity to the poor woman uuuh


Listen,no matter how painful letting her go will be it still far better than making her miserable for the life of her....

Big time wickedness my dear..He thinks its a jok or something..Playing with someones life and emotions..No wonder some ladies dump some guys and marry ready made and ready to mary men instead of waiting for their man..Cos of wicked men like this who would dump them after they have waited for so long for him.

Michellla:
A girl gives up almost everything for you.

One week to your marriage you're contemplating on whether or not to marry again.


isnt that wickedness?

Marriage is a life time commitment... What we call love in marriage is nothing more than a coincidence of interest. If you are convinced that you do not have the energy to love your fiance till death do you part, please forget marriage. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. I must also advise that you shouldn't take undue advantage of a lady who has given her all to you. Also, note that you can only make a woman be what you want her to be... Finally I pray you make the right decision that will be best for the two of you.

Op, you can as well take a gun, point it at her and release the trigger!!! You are obviously heartless....no offense please.

Jollyjoy:
wonders!!

You are advising her to marry out of pity to the poor woman uuuh


Listen,no matter how painful letting her go will be it still far better than making her miserable for the life of her....

He should call it a quit just like that? Like seriously?
After everything she sacrificed, not like she did anything wrong.. I think the Op is confused nd needs some brain resetting, you can do better rather than asking him to quit.