coogar:


your current status is probably turning him off. how long gone are you? are you the type that looks clumsy, unkempt and spitting around when pregnant?

yoksy:
I've not really reached d point of being suicidal cos I know my future is bright n d baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. am married for close to two yrs now my hubby has not been very healthy for close to a yr now, we just leave like roommates hardly any sexual activity but it was a blow to my face wen I came back from church on Sunday n saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed n wen I checked his phone I saw his chat wit a girl inviting her to his guest house n denying he is married. after confronting his there was no remorse not even an explanation he is just pretending to b nice ( meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less I care for my pregnancy n buy my babies stuff [size=18pt]he sometimes even tell me he is not responsible for my pregnancy[/size]) please I need candid advice on wat to do. thanks.

5minsmadness:

.And everybody ignored this to have a go at the man.


This is a VERY SERIOUS accusation and not one to be taken lightly at all.

If there is anything I have learned on nairaland it's to always listen to both sides of the story. A man has a broken leg and is supposedly in pains but goes out of his way to buy viagra to have an affair. That means he can't get it up by himself. That means he is going out of his way to cheat on his woman. This is not some random infidelity. This is Malice. An act of vengeance. Something went wrong.


Op what actually happened between you two?

njokusboy:
@op...

If your husband is rebuffing ur advances andd banging another girl inspite of his bad leg... then he is an irresponsible, pathetic son of a b1tch... nd it doesn't matter whether u spit or fart every minute...

In cases like this, there is no single solution.. you should consider your welfare as well as dat of ur child before taking any decision..

Modified... if your husband actually says he is not the father of the unborn baby, then you've got bigger problems, you're not telling us the whole story..

fem29:
Hi dear I'm so sorry you are going through this. As someone already asked, are you legally married to him(no judgement). Right now the most important thing is your baby. You need to reduce your stress levels. It's not good for you or baby. Please try to remove all thoughts about his girlfriend from your mind right now. Wait till after you give birth before you hash it out. Focus on trying to get money from him for baby stuff and hospital bills for now. No fighting him for now, you are in no condition. If he doesn't bring the money, do you have family and friends that can help you out?.

Also is your mum or sister available to come and stay with you for a while?. You need someone to lift your spirit right now. It will get better in Jesé name. Just pretend as if he doesn't exist for now.

raumdeuter:
When he said " He is probably not responsible for the pregnancy, Why did he say that, what was your reaction and how was that incident resolved/concluded

Maybe you should divorce him

cococandy:
No pregnant woman should be treated that way.
Not when they need all the love and support they can get.
What's wrong with some people?

OP if you didn't do anything to warrant the accusation, pls pay it no heed. Some people before they go out and do something bad, they rationalize and justify it in their minds any way they can so as to feel less guilty about it. him accusing him might be diversionary tactics to justify his own cheating which he's planning to go do.

Goodluck with your baby. You're almost there. For now rest your mind no matter how hard it is because you don't want your blood pressure up at the risky stage.
If you need to get away from him so that anger at him won't push you into over drive, pls do so.

When you're done having your baby.
Ask him if he's tired of the marriage. The worst way to spend your energy is in trying to stay married to someone who doesn't want to stay married to you. And the worst cheat to live with is one who's not repentant. You'd basically be giving the person a license to treat you as they wish once you start condoning their unrepentant philandering.

If he's not tired and you aren't tired, then both of you can consider counseling. It seems you didn't know each other well before marriage. you said you never saw the bad leg until marriage, that means you guys never met until marriage.
Maybe he's disillusioned with what he saw after meeting you. Hence the lack of sexual attraction.

Time to rediscover yourselves and see if you can ignite sparks between the two of you.
Provided he's willing to try with you.
One person can't build a marriage alone while the other person is continuously sabotaging the union.

Unfortunately he's not here and he's the one that needs talking to. More than you even.

crackhaus:

I totally concur.

Yosky, tell him to please get a paternity test if he is really in doubt...then go get your own sex mate to spite him. Afterall, a man with one bad leg can't be much of a threat physically.

Then divorce him!

yoksy:
thank u he had d accident last yr and we dated for close to 2 yrs b4 getting married it was only distant cos he works in d western part of d country while am in north central

yoksy:
thank u he had d accident last yr and we dated for close to 2 yrs b4 getting married it was only distant cos he works in d western part of d country while am in north central

yoksy:
I've not really reached d point of being suicidal cos I know my future is bright n d baby in my womb is more of a comforter to me. am married for close to two yrs now my hubby has not been very healthy for close to a yr now, we just leave like roommates hardly any sexual activity but it was a blow to my face wen I came back from church on Sunday n saw a pill of Viagra 100 on my matrimonial bed n wen I checked his phone I saw his chat wit a girl inviting her to his guest house n denying he is married. after confronting his there was no remorse not even an explanation he is just pretending to b nice ( meanwhile am heavily pregnant but he cares less I care for my pregnancy n buy my babies stuff he sometimes even tell me he is not responsible for my pregnancy) please I need candid advice on wat to do. thanks.

crackhaus:

I totally concur.

Yosky, tell him to please get a paternity test if he is really in doubt...then go get your own sex mate to spite him. Afterall, a man with one bad leg can't be much of a threat physically.

Then divorce him!

raumdeuter:

Actually divorce him first before he even tries to beg or act nice
No need for DNA unless you can get him to pay child support and get your own bedmate

vague:


Aunty you are a learner put high blood pressure drugs or anti-depressants in his food and see if viagra can even save him!

MarryMeee:
don't listen to this unmarried 39yr old fool! These are the types with dysfunctional dicks that will come and defend their own. Ask him how we will pay utilities for next month and he wont know, but he will come here forming "i-know-everything"

Pem pem pem all over nairaland! Wife? he no get! House? He pays rent late to one landlord for one bedroom in Peckham! Phone? He has stopped paying his monthly instalments! Clothes? He don max out 5credits card that are not being paid for! All he is good for is sleeping around with people's wives for a living! Dont be fooled! Scam alert!

*singing* shameless old fool no go carry last ooo

MarryMeee:
don't listen to this unmarried 39yr old fool! These are the types with dysfunctional dicks that will come and defend their own. Ask him how we will pay utilities for next month and he wont know, but he will come here forming "i-know-everything"

Pem pem pem all over nairaland! Wife? he no get! House? He pays rent late to one landlord for one bedroom in Peckham! Phone? He has stopped paying his monthly instalments! Clothes? He don max out 5credits card that are not being paid for! All he is good for is sleeping around with people's wives for a living! Dont be fooled! Scam alert!

*singing* shameless old fool no go carry last ooo

cococandy:


Accident you say? Hmm. So he hasn't always had the bad leg. Well that sort of changes things.

At the risk of sounding like I'm making excuses for him (which i'd never do).
When people go through life changing injuries especially ones that leave a disability behind, there are two kinds of healing to go through.
Physical and psychological. Especially with accidents. Because it's sudden. One moment you're walking, the next you're in a wheelchair, limping or using walking aids. It can be hard to heal inside and come to terms with the disability.

Maybe the physical healing has gotten as good as it can get, but the psyche still needs to heal. Because in his mind, he's less of person now that he's not full on his feet and active. Causing him to maybe seek validation in his ability to still attract women outside. (This is provided he hasn't always had a womanizing habit). If he has always been a womanizer, pls disregard this post.

If not, then suggest counseling and therapy for him. The things we often overlook are sometimes the most important. He needs to be able to once more believe himself whole and complete. The fact that he as a young man (I assume) needs viagra to get it up again even with a new girl which is usually a turn on for most people shows that he's internally disturbed.
I know it can be hard being the one to swallow hurt and pamper someone when you're in need of it yourself. Seeing as you're having a baby and all that

All things said and done, if he's not willing to work with you, you know where the door is.
Life is too short to live it in misery.

yoksy:
thank u n God bless

cococandy:


Accident you say? Hmm. So he hasn't always had the bad leg. Well that sort of changes things.

At the risk of sounding like I'm making excuses for him (which i'd never do).
When people go through life changing injuries especially ones that leave a disability behind, there are two kinds of healing to go through.
Physical and psychological. Especially with accidents. Because it's sudden. One moment you're walking, the next you're in a wheelchair, limping or using walking aids. It can be hard to heal inside and come to terms with the disability.

Maybe the physical healing has gotten as good as it can get, but the psyche still needs to heal. Because in his mind, he's less of person now that he's not full on his feet and active. Causing him to maybe seek validation in his ability to still attract women outside. (This is provided he hasn't always had a womanizing habit). If he has always been a womanizer, pls disregard this post.

If not, then suggest counseling and therapy for him. The things we often overlook are sometimes the most important. He needs to be able to once more believe himself whole and complete. The fact that he as a young man (I assume) needs viagra to get it up again even with a new girl which is usually a turn on for most people shows that he's internally disturbed.
I know it can be hard being the one to swallow hurt and pamper someone when you're in need of it yourself. Seeing as you're having a baby and all that

All things said and done, if he's not willing to work with you, you know where the door is.
Life is too short to live it in misery.

raumdeuter:


Actually divorce him first before he even tries to beg or act nice

No need for DNA unless you can get him to pay child support and get your own bedmate

edwife:








Agents of divorce....

crackhaus:

I think you're right...

It's better she cuts him off totally and get herself a younger hotter dude, before letting him the opportunity to use his serpent's tongue to win her back.

raumdeuter:


Some men have fetishes for heavily pregnant women

crackhaus:

I totally concur.

Yosky, tell him to please get a paternity test if he is really in doubt...then go get your own sex mate to spite him. Afterall, a man with one bad leg can't be much of a threat physically.

Then divorce him!