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Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Mstrsheikh: 11:53am On Nov 15, 2015
Well bro truth is when love and emotions are still involved it's very very difficult to break away. Coz that pain after words no be here at all. You must decide 100 percent you are willing to let her go and imagine how you would feel if you see her with another guy. if you can stomach all this fine! And be productive as a human being better! But 3years is a long time my nigga, create a distraction ( you'll d have to figure that out my babe may be reading my comment lol) a distraction that will take your mind off her then start withdrawing little by little till you reach your comfort zones free of emotions. Hope this help. It sounds wicked tho to your lady but you still need to be there for her through all this. Goodluck

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by ibietela2(m): 11:53am On Nov 15, 2015
dovetark:


Lol, no matter how serious a situation is, when humor is thrown at me, I can't help but laugh... which I am doing right now. but at the end of the day bro, the problem won't be solved. So you can share an experience on how you ended a relationship with a girl before and I can learn from it. I haven't formally initiated a break up before and that is why I ask.

Same goes to you @Pennah

Tell her it's OVER between you two

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 11:54am On Nov 15, 2015
anytexy:
very simple just gradually start to CARELESS that settles it. Thank me later alright.

I didn't intentionally do that, but situations have put me in that state, and still she's still here. I didn't know how it felt until she started acting the same way and says it's not on purpose I should try and understand... she was there for me when I was acting CARELESS
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by ummahmat(m): 11:54am On Nov 15, 2015
bros kill urself
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 11:54am On Nov 15, 2015
ibietela2:


Tell her it's OVER between you two

Done that several times!!!
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by acxlers2014(m): 11:55am On Nov 15, 2015
I know what you as I have gone down that toad before.... " life indeed happens".

I am a proponent of relationship as it is a tough decision to get into one and maintain one. Relationships should be built on the foundation of Love and total loyalty and If you agree with me Sir, that is a tall order especially with so many distractions out there. When the spark begins to diminish it does not mean that you have stopped loving and a break up is not neccesarily next option.

What is pretty obvious from your thesis is that - she won't let you go as she seems to be keen to seeing this through to marriage.

I don't know what happened you guys but this is gonna be a big one for you.

If I may ask? What actually happened? Why do you want to break up?

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Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by jomoh: 11:55am On Nov 15, 2015
Give yourselves break. Separate for sometime and don't think of being friends. Just break up greet each other with mutual respect whenever you see each other.

There should be absolutely no communications between the two of you during that time.

You should even try to date other people. If your relationship with her was meant to be, you will find out that you start missing each other.

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Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 11:55am On Nov 15, 2015
kennyman2000:
Hmmmmm... You or your girl should relocate and sieze all contacts with eachother. If that's done for like 5 months. The feelings you've for one another ought to vanish..

Thanks a lot, we are not staying in the same place. I'll do the rest. Thank you... this was helpful.
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by adewumiopeyemi(m): 11:56am On Nov 15, 2015
end time relationship.....

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Dubemkelly(m): 11:56am On Nov 15, 2015
You aint a tree, move if it's not worth it

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 11:57am On Nov 15, 2015
KiidaACE:
angry
Just harden your heart,,Gaddammit!!

Thanks, Helpful...
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 11:58am On Nov 15, 2015
Icecomrade:
:

Have you guys been banging each other?

Stop!!!!!

If you keep going between her legs, u can't get away.

If you need to jerk off so badly, explore other options. Just stay away from her p**


Erm not done that in a while now...
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by ibietela2(m): 11:59am On Nov 15, 2015
dovetark:


Done that several times!!!

And?

My gf sent me a text that it's over when i was sleeping, maybe you want to try that? Then stop any communication for sometime

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Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:00pm On Nov 15, 2015
Harkynkunle:
..... Hmmmmnn... Just call her and tell her: Bae i wouldn't know if u will be able to continue with me..coz i've got a bad news here, (mind u by this time u will be sobering and almost wanna cry) Now tell her: Bae i just tested positive to HIV (now break down in so much tears) and see her reaction.... Thank me Later bro....lol
On a serious note ...every relationship has two sides and most definitely u gonna share of both parts i.e Sweeten part and d sadden part...Baba it's not how far but how well...if u truly love ur bae stick to her and try to make things right... since u guys had once been Love birds certainly u can always be..... Talking from Xperience Man....Ladies are just too flexibke

Hmmmm.... Food for thought... thanks.

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by olaBanks(m): 12:00pm On Nov 15, 2015
If you feel its not working, just walk away! It that simple. Try to limits physical contacts with her(and every other forms of communication), get very busy with something, be disciplined not to visit your past, but concentrate on building a better self! And lastly, don't think about it often! Just be! Time will take care of the rest!

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Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by petiteee(f): 12:01pm On Nov 15, 2015
dovetark:
We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.

We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.

I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.

Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.
@ bolded,pls try competitive advantage grin using the BGC matix or porter' thank me later lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:03pm On Nov 15, 2015
ibietela2:


And?

My gf sent me a text that it's over when i was sleeping, maybe you want to try that? Then stop any communication for sometime

We still find a way back to each other... the communication part is helpful thanks.

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by IbokUtoroh(m): 12:04pm On Nov 15, 2015
dovetark:
We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.

We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.

I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.

Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.
so what is d problem?

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:04pm On Nov 15, 2015
Pennah:
U see! these are some of the problems related with long time relationship


Op pardon my initial obtuse idea

It's okay bro... Yeah indeed it is a problem.
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Nobody: 12:05pm On Nov 15, 2015
Lasgidy1:
If I were u, I'll commit murder and commit suicide, in that case, no winner, no vanquished!
Anyways, today's my bday. Me and shalewa go f_ck ourselves until there's nothing left of us
Chai! 2day is sunday I begggy. HBD

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:05pm On Nov 15, 2015
olaBanks:
If you feel its not working, just walk away! It that simple. Try to limits physical contacts with her(and every other forms of communication), get very busy with something, be disciplined not to visit your past, but concentrate on building a better self! And lastly, don't think about it often! Just be! Time will take care of the rest!

Thanks, this is very helpful.
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by aircoolice(f): 12:07pm On Nov 15, 2015
Ǖ definitely still have sometin dangling in each others heart jst keep trying ǖ jst can't tell and most importantly ƪ tink ǖ should work on those event dat is bringing abt a distance btw ǖ two. Its no gonna b easy ƪ must say bt jst give it a try grin

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:07pm On Nov 15, 2015
jomoh:
Give yourselves break. Separate for sometime and don't think of being friends. Just break up greet each other with mutual respect whenever you see each other.

There should be absolutely no communications between the two of you during that time.

You should even try to date other people. If your relationship with her was meant to be, you will find out that you start missing each other.

Thanks, very helpful.
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Nzeh12(m): 12:07pm On Nov 15, 2015
The fact is that you might end this and never find a relationship as good as u guys once were. As some one said, avoid sex for now, only meet in public places, try doing New things together, Don't see each other often, maybe u two lost value for each other, all these might help regain that. Just try to make it work again cos d possibility of u regretting a breakup in future is high since u guys were once good together and you can still be.

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Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:10pm On Nov 15, 2015
Nzeh12:
[b]The fact is that you might end this and never find a relationship as good as u guys once were. [/b]As some one said, avoid sex for now, only meet in public places, try doing New things together, Don't see each other often, maybe u two lost value for each other, all these might help regain that. Just try to make it work again cos d possibility of u regretting a breakup in future is high since u guys were once good together and you can still be.

@bolded that's a fact, but is there anything in life that isn't really risky? We've tried working it out though. But you've given me something to think really hard about. Thank you. Your effort to process and put down something is greatly appreciated.

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Nobody: 12:11pm On Nov 15, 2015
All you need is open communication. You guys should sit down and and talk about your happiness and what you want. If that does not work, you can limit d way u chat and talk on fone

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by ewenla1234(m): 12:14pm On Nov 15, 2015
Lasgidy1:
If I were u, I'll commit murder and commit suicide, in that case, no winner, no vanquished!
Anyways, today's my bday. Me and shalewa go f_ck ourselves until there's nothing left of us




Lol, do u mean marathon s**
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:15pm On Nov 15, 2015
acxlers2014:
I know what you as I have gone down that toad before.... " life indeed happens".

I am a proponent of relationship as it is a tough decision to get into one and maintain one. Relationships should be built on the foundation of Love and total loyalty and If you agree with me Sir, that is a tall order especially with so many distractions out there. When the spark begins to diminish it does not mean that you have stopped loving and a break up is not neccesarily next option.

What is pretty obvious from your thesis is that - she won't let you go as she seems to be keen to seeing this through to marriage.

I don't know what happened you guys but this is gonna be a big one for you.

If I may ask? What actually happened? Why do you want to break up?

Thanks your articulation is amazing... In summary, when I was going through a tough period in my life, I was pretty much self-absorbed and withdrawn, she said she got used to it and her attention and care towards me dropped greatly. For me, detail is important as I am very sensitive and when that is missing, essence is lost. Now she expects me to cope with her new attitude as I made her turn out that way.
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by MizMyColi(f): 12:16pm On Nov 15, 2015
dovetark:
We've dated officially for over 3 years, I have to admit she's a nice girl when her heart is in it, but certain events have occurred which has left a once blissful relationship sour. Prior to the series of events that have brought us to this point, I used to feel like a superhuman with her in my life (for real I could do anything I set my mind to do and succeed), but all that has changed... Life happened!!! We've both been hit by series of events that have adjusted our perspective on how we view life which has undoubtedly affected us. Since the beginning of this year, we've been on a free fall with our emotions. We've not had intense quarrels neither have we had intense passion being together of late (I admit, they both spice up a relationship) and we have grossly neglected each others feelings. We both played our roles in getting to where we are now, I feel the door closing in fast on us and I can't stand this flip-flop of emotions involved.

We've tried taking a break and that didn't work, I have suggested severally that we just remain friends and end the relationship but I really don't know why she doesn't agree to that. We can't just stand each others bullshit anymore but still a part of us wants it to go back to how it used to be I guess that's the reason we've been hanging on.

I am not here to cry over spilled milk, rather, I am here to seek advice on how I would successful end this relationship without it having profound effects on my psychology and emotions while maintaining optimum productivity as an individual. Please your comments are needed and appreciated. Thank you Nairaland.

Please don't just read, I need your suggestions.

Megawax8

There's no way he will let go of the relationship without having an effect of sorts visit him.

He is afraid of the future and that in itself kills faster.

I advise people to live in this moment.
Live in the NOW...

Concerning your love life, what do you need to do right now? Break Up, right?
Then Break up.

Now, you need to have the understanding that it is not so much about what you are doing, as it is about how you are doing it.

Also, what is the state of your mind as you break up, do you have grudges, deep unspoken ones against her, or even yourself?

Before you embark on the breakup journey, you need to fill your mind with positivity, make sure you bear her no ill, and that you bear yourself no ill. Accept what is, and make peace with the things you can't change.

Talk with her in love. Express yourself, say all the things you feel went wrong...then make a declaration that you wish her well.

Whether the breakup will last or not is an issue for another day.
But after all is said and done, you sure do need time apart.

Finally, I leave you with this quote from Thicht. My aim is to get you to have a flip in perspective.

If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue to draw the water to cook, wash, and drink. The river is immense, and it has the capacity to receive, embrace, and transform. When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited, and we suffer. We can’t accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings, and we demand that they change. But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore. We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others. We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform.

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Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by TheGoodJoe(m): 12:17pm On Nov 15, 2015
Emir Of Kano To Diezani: “it’s Nothing Personal… It’s Our Nation’s Money”

The Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi II, has reacted to the recent comments made by former Minister of Petroleum, Diezani Alison-Madueke, over the alleged disappearance of $20 billion under ex-President Goodluck Jonathan.

https://www.nairaland.com/2737829/emir-kano-diezani-nothing-personal
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by Jabioro: 12:17pm On Nov 15, 2015
Your case is simple,you love her and that is what is killing you...and when die or life get damage both physically and spiritually then you realize you have atimes sweet thing leave or you leave as this case .be a man take off every your mind including the past..she is not existing character. I Lean such simple technical from my little girl when her mother left me..and today am enjoy..close your heart and heart bros.in order to be focus in life need be blind.
Re: Help!!! Need Advice On How To Break Up; by dovetark: 12:17pm On Nov 15, 2015
Abbykem:
All you need is open communication. You guys should sit down and and talk about your happiness and what you want. If that does not work, you can limit d way u chat and talk on fone

I have initiated that severally, but that hasn't been effective. Thanks your advice is helpful.

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