He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

this is a very tight corner.......
I would have loved to help, but am not good on advice about relationships......
just put everything to prayers and try talk to your parents........

You alone knows what's best for you.The ball is totally in your court.

#exhales

May God Help you scale through..

he told you to marry one of your suitors?
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Well, thats wah i'll do if I don't love a girl anymore nd I don't wanna hurt her..

To begin with,how old are u? how long are u willing to wait? Both of u just graduated,u said? That guy's probably got about 5 years minimum before he decides he wants to settle down... and what if it's more? 'll u keep waiting for ever? He already freed u...perhaps he has no future plans of settling down with u. Don't be overcome by ur feelings for him. U're looking to settling down with him,but that may not be an option for him at all.
U could love someone else if u make an effort to....U've simply decided it's ur boyfriend or no one else. Reverse that decision and start looking out for other suitable guys out there now that they are still flocking around u. As the years roll by,u may no longer be the "hot cake" u are now. Nobody has said u should marry a man u don't love. Look for another one u can equally love and with whom u'll be compatible. Time waits for no woman!

U could spend so much time waiting for him and he'd just end up taking some other woman to the altar. U know the situation of things better though...how much he loves u..when he intends to settle down and how prepared he is for that..his dedication to ur relationship and everything else that needs to be out into consideration. Just be wise.

Search you heart and make a good decision.
Good luck.











Lol,sorry I just tot I would join others and not be specific

But on a serious note.
Stick with your boyfriend.
Always stick with the one you love.
There's no other way to be happy
There's no guarantee that you won't regret it.
But its better to have loved and hurt,than to not have loved at all.

Marriage is for a lifetime.
You're gonna be judged either way.

The guy is not ready to settle down not yet dnt want to hurt your feelings,if you knw wat is good for you start spreading your net.



If you refuse and insist on being a bee on his ankle be ready to bear the burnt...

sister loveth, this guy is not ready to end up with you,from everything you have written up there,you are the one that love him and really want to be with him,he only makes you Happy because you chose to be Happy with him alone, for you to have several suitors means you have been double dating or triple dating of Which I can't blame you for. If he is not ready to go deep with you,it's better you go for one of your many suitors. He won't pity you when he eventually wants to break up with you,it will be disastrous.

Jolllyjoy:
The guy is not ready to settle down not yet dnt want to hurt your feelings,if you knw wat is good for you start spreading your net.



If you refuse and insist on being a bee on his ankle be ready to bear the burnt...

You make sense die...





















































This one time ʕ•ﻌ•ʔ

[b]hello my friend! I once found myself in your boy friend's shoes! There's this lady I've been dating for the past 8yrs right from our University days! Immediately she passed out of Nysc, her family came up with the issue of marriage and all that! She told me about the pressure from her family so angrily, even though it wasn't from my mind, I told her to go ahead and marry any suitor that ask her hand in marriage. I told her point blank that I can't rush to wed her just because of the pressure from her parents when I don't really have a meaningful job. Fortunately, she reasoned with me and decide to stick with my decision. She kept telling her parents that she has chosen her man! And would wait for the Right time. After a short while, I did her introduction and gave a gap of another one year! Thankfully, I have a meaningful job now, she is also working with a good firm! We are now ready To get married next month. So my Dear, if you both are convinced that you've found true love, nothing can come between the two of you! Not even the pressure from your family or parent. Its only the TWO of you that can decide what, when and how you want it!! Your boy friend should assure you that he's not gonna disappoint you! He should state clearly that he has fully made up his mind to get married to you! Lastly, let him put it to you the year or time he's ready! 2016 or 2017? this will help guide your relationship and make you both Focused! That was what helped me and my Fiance! We gave a clear target of 2015 as our wedding date come rain come shine! The pressure came right from 2013. But we stood with each other! Remained committed despite the pressure. Today we are happy! Pls, I hope your boy friend isn't one of this time wasters? If so, pls don't stick your neck on him! Find a more serious suitor. Ok bye![/b]

End time Bf.

OP, to say the least your in a tight situation. Neither you nor anyone knows what the future holds. If you yield to your mum's antics if could cause you untold pains. On the flip side maybe happiness. Like someone pointed out your bf has a 'long' way to go. The economic situation in Nigeria doesn't guarantee automatic jobs. However, that shouldn't be a criteria to break up.

This is one of those times you need to ask God for direction. He speaks to us in different ways. Sometimes unconventional ways. You equally need to have a heart to heart talk with your bf. Remember you addressed him as a bf not even fiance. What are his plans? Are you in his plans? I understand most women can instinctively spot a man that will excel in life. Do you see such traits in him?

You may need to equally speak with your mum, let her know your happiness matters. You can't go into marriage to please her or anyone. It's a lifetime commitment. Marriage will either build or destroy your destiny. That's why caution is advised. Ultimately, the ball is in court. Do you wait for your bf to secure a job and do the needful, or do you create an Avenue to meet one of these suitors and get to know them better. This for you to decide. It's life.

There are two things involved..he probably doesn't want to be blamed, if he doesn't marry u at the end. Or, he doesn't feel for u the same way u feel abt him.
The choice of whom to marry is a crucial life decison; so have a heart-to-heart with him with a free mind, to knw why he is encouraging u to marry one of ur suitors. Maybe, then, u wil knw if u both are a team or... #mytwopence




And if u are a team, don't bring down his neck with pressure...afterall, u chose to wait.

Opportunity come buh once... He. Don give u green light... A guy can marry at the age of 100 while a lady can't... Use ur tongue and count ur teeth....

pinceprinz:



You make sense die...





















































This one time ʕ•ﻌ•ʔ

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you just viewed her dp and the only thing that came to your mind ain't nothing but 'fucck'

I will advice u to move on guys r not smiling he may end up leaving u when he is ready, luk 4 someone else similar to him dats is ready and marry him, he has even given u permission so wat else, he may really luv u bt at d other hand he does not want to b a tantamount to u getting married after all u r a woman as d yrs rolls by ur value depreciate so act smart. Things r not always d way u c dem.

my dear dat ur bf loves u too mch dats y he said u shld marry one of ur suitors.he knws he is nt yet ready n doesn't knw wen he wld b. pls my dear ur a woman, u age faster dan men. marry one of ur suitors

Nne this may sound blunt but very true.
Ur BF does not want to settle down with you, he sounds like he is seeing someone else.
Even if you do not want any of ur 3 suitors, end it with him and start a new life. Take a walk out of his life without discussing it and let us see if he will call nor even ask you the reason for d distance or what is happening to the relationship.
Open ur eyes wide,gurl.

PrimeMinisterr:

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you just viewed her dp and the only thing that came to your mind ain't nothing but 'fucck'

Really?




I will check it out too..


*checked it and my conclusion is that u must be really perverted. Being the psycho-analyst that I am, I suggest you need exposure for their ain't nothing extraordinaire 'bout her. @ all. *

pinceprinz:

Really?



I will check it out too..

. . . . you've already did and you damn well know what I mean.

beejaymar:
He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

Lol can't you see that he doesn't love you? He has seen a good reason to drop you. A reason that wouldn't make it seem like he is wicked or evil. You are being naive. Do you think any man will even allow u entertain a suitor not to talk of telling you to get married to one.

A man that loves you will even get enraged when u let him know u have a suitor but this one is telling you to marry one. Hahahahahhahahahha

Open your eyes ooo. The more you look the less you see. Your BF does not love you

Tnks guys

beejaymar:
He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

Lol can't you see that he doesn't love you? He has seen a good reason to drop you. A reason that wouldn't make it seem like he is wicked or evil. You are being naive. Do you think any man will even allow u entertain a suitor not to talk of telling you to get married to one.

A man that loves you will even get enraged when u let him know u have a suitor but this one is telling you to marry one. Hahahahahhahahahha

Open your eyes ooo. The more you look the less you see. Your BF does not love you

A Yoruba proverb says a child who hasn't seen other people's 'farms' would think his father's 'farm' is the largest. It does happen that while still experimenting with love like this, you'll think (devil's speaking) that you may never get someone else that loves you or you love like the one you're presently with if you lose him/her... it's all fallacy.

Some people continue to focus their attention at a closed door thereby losing out of the opened ones rolling by

I don't knw y ppl don like d truth.


D guy is a real dude.

Marry ur suitor.

PrimeMinisterr:

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you've already did and you damn well know what I mean.

oh lol.. chillax!


You most probably thought I was showering her compliments in the first place?


MrsPhyno is my witnis, I only compliment good brains, hardly looks.


In this case, I was saying her post made sense this one time OK?

Gosh! I'm too sexist to hail pussies! ! Roger that ⊙_⊙

pinceprinz:


oh lol.. chillax!


You most probably thought I was showering her compliments in the first place?


MrsPhyno is my witnis, I only compliment good brains, hardly looks.


In this case, I was saying her post made sense this one time OK?

Gosh! I'm too sexist to hail pussies! ! Roger that ⊙_⊙

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lol, if you say so, and you really don't have to call a witness, We ain't in court.

PrimeMinisterr:

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lol, if you say so, and you really don't have to call a witness, We ain't in court.

lol, well the prime reason I cc'd her is for her to see this thread anytime she comes alive. . . ciao!

pinceprinz:



lol, well the prime reason I cc'd her is for her to see this thread anytime she comes alive. . . ciao!

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you really don't have to.

beejaymar:
He said he dnt want me to keep waiting for him,that I can marry one of my suitors since he's not yet ready,buh the truth is he is the only one I want to settle with, the pressure is coming already from my parents... how can I marry som1 I dnt even feel anythin for, we just graduated together n he's yet to find a job....am really not in a hurry cos I can actually wait,currently I hav 3 suitors buh I cnt even imagine myself marrying any of them, I just want to be with som1 am happy with, this issue is actually tearing me apart cos my mum is on my neck already saying i,v rejected way too many suitors wen I was still in school saying I wasn't ready cos I was still in school n now dat i,v graduated wat is still keeping me?? I love my bf so much n he makes me happy n i'v always dream about our future together, how den am I gonna end up as a sad wife to som1 I dnt even love?? My mum called me ds morning to warn me about my choices saying am gonna regret my choices later... how am willing to wait for a fresh graduate instead of choosing made men asking for my hand in marriage..... my bf overheard the call n now he's telling me to maybe do as my mum said.... am so broken, I cnt handle dis really, pls I need matured mind to pls talk to me, advice plsssss n mind u I love being happy n its only one person dat makes me happy among all ds folks n Dats my bf...my day is practically ruined, so sad... what do I do??

Look, I'm not married, but I know marriage is a big deal, you do it with passion, and it should give you happiness because it's forever. I'm not an advocate or promoter of divorce, it's against my ethics.. So you're very right to want happiness above all things


Your boyfriend needs a confidence boost


Please, politely tell your mother that you're an adult and you can make your choices. If you're in your late or early 30s. I can see where she's coming from. But this is a decision you'll live with for the rest of your life, you should do it right! You can't afford to make the wrong decision(tell your mama to hold her horses naa. Na she wan marry?? Or has she started sharing your invitation card to her friends??)

Then again, if you see in any of your available suitors the satisfaction you desire, please.. By all means make your mother happy.(But you're making a decision about yourself for your mother).

Here's what we've learnt from some Nigerian movies, at the end of the day, you might regret your decision if you leave your boyfriend.

True life story:
My Elder sister's friend Cynthia had a boyfriend(Jerry) back then, they were madly in Love, they did everything together, but his riches came late, he wanted to marry her but there was no money. Her mother was on her neck. Her mum was one of the women in church who boasted of the lifestyle she lived. So, cynthia bowed to pressure from her mum. Married a young landlord, yea. He was doing quite well, but it wasn't her choice, she didn't love the guy. She married him to please her mother. So, Jerry got a very lucrative Job in Canada. He made lots of money, now he's an even bigger oga than the landlord. Got married to another woman and is enjoying his marriage all the same, maybe not with his complete love, but to an extent, he's satisfied.. Cynthia is busy sending emails to Jerry now, begging for financial assistance, to pay children's school fees and eat at home, the government demolished most of the landlord's houses, now he lives from hand to mouth.

#patient dog eats fattest bone
#word enough for the wise