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Marriage Software by Psoul(m): 2:21pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
I Saw this on a post: trust
me, you'll like it:
"MARRIAGE SOFTWARE
This is what a guy wrote
to a Systems Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div);
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some
help! I recently upgraded
my program from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
and found that the new
program began
unexpected Child
Processing and also took
up a lot of space and
valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in
the product brochure. In
addition Wife 1.0 installs
itself into all other
programs and launches
during systems
initialization and then it
monitors all other system
activities.
Applications such as
"Boys' Night out 2.5" and
"Golf 5.3" no longer run,
and crashes the system
whenever selected.
Attempting to operate
selected "Soccer 6.3"
always fails and
"Shopping 7.1" runs
instead. I cannot seem to
keep Wife 1.0 in the
background whilst
attempting to run any of
my favorite applications.
Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going
back to "Girlfriend 7.0",
but uninstall doesn't work
on this program. Can you
please help?
.... The Systems Analyst
replied:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common
problem resulting from a
basic misunderstandin g
of the functions of the
Wife 1.0 program. Many
customers upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
thinking that Wife 1.0 is
merely a UTILITY AND
ENTERTAINMENT
PROGRAM. Actually, Wife
1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM designed by its
Creator to run everything
on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be
able to purge Wife 1.0
and still convert back to
Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0
was not designed to do
this and it is impossible to
uninstall, delete or purge
the program files from
the System once it is
installed.
Some people have tried to
install Girlfriend 8.0 or
Wife 2.0 but have ended
up with even more
problems. (See manual
under Alimony/Child
Support and Solicitors'
Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed,
I recommend you keep it
Installed and deal with
the difficulties as best as
you can. When any faults
or problems occur,
whatever you think has
caused them, you must
run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE
ME.EXE Program and avoid
attempting to use the
*Esc-Key for it will freeze
the entire system.
It may be necessary to
run C:\ APOLOGIZE\
FORGIVE ME.EXE a number
of times, and eventually
hope that the operating
system will return to
normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very
high maintenance
programme, can be very
rewarding.
To get the most out of it,
consider buying
additional Software such
as "Flowers 2.0" and
"Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\
KISSES 600.0" or
"TENDERNESS\
UNDERSTANDING 1000.0"
or even Eating Out
Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if
Child processing has
already started).
DO NOT under any
circumstances install
"Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt
Version) or "One
Nightstand 3.2" (Any
Mood Version), as this is
not a supported
Application for Wife 1.0
and the system will
almost certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours,"
Systems Analyst cc. Lalasticlala |
Re: Marriage Software by Soknown: 3:35pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Wow, lovely. Covers the essence of marriage in a very 21st century way. |
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