@Poster

You're right.Husbands do get bored after a while (and so do women).I'm not married yet but i have been courting a girl for almost 3 years and i feel worn out sometimes BUT nonetheless, you have to look into yourself and know what you really want coz looking outside is most times, the wrong option.The couples have to do things to rejuvenate their relationship/rekindle the flame.If you've made a choice, its best to stick to it unless he/she gives you reasons to think otherwise e.g cheating.

how on earth did you come to this generalisation?

i was told that in a marriage the love only last for about 5 yrs, after that its all about understanding and tolerance ,

guys, u better grow up mentally cos marriage is not easy. but we have to try and enjoy every bit of it. Cos no man is worth deing for even ur husband

maybe the wives got boring thinking they have their husband under lock and key

i think the fault comes from both coples,may be if they try to add more spicy to thier marriage it will help,HOPE SAY UNA UNDERSTAND ME .

estherb:

i think the fault comes from both coples,may be if they try to add more spicy to thier marriage it will help,HOPE SAY UNA UNDERSTAND ME .

because in their youth, they spent all their time going from one woman to the next or moving with multiple babes in some cases. So of course when they have to settle down with just one woman (wow. just one woman for the rest of one's life!!), they don't know how to deal with it.

i have a friend who toasted his wife best friend and chief bride's maid on thier wedding day. He even grab by the corner and squeez her breast on the same wedding day. Men's lust cannot be controlled marriage or no marriage.

oyinda.:

because in their youth, they spent all their time going from one woman to the next or moving with multiple babes in some cases. So of course when they have to settle down with just one woman (wow. just one woman for the rest of one's life!!), they don't know how to deal with it.

how very convenient, blame it on the guys, the girls never do any thing wrong in their whole life

na2day?:

how very convenient, blame it on the guys, the girls never do any thing wrong in their whole life

I was replying the topic o. didn't mean to offend you.
you can create your own topic on wives ok? pele

oyinda.:

I was replying the topic o. didn't mean to offend you.
you can create your own topic on wives ok? pele

u didnt offend me, i was only responding to ur logic nothing personal

mtcheww. . . shio

Husbands are bored naturally.

After wedding, most couples (especially the men) think it is the end of romantic outings and wooings, they tend to be too serious as husbands, wives or farthers and mothers to be. These kill the spices in togetherness shared before wedding. Both men and women can get bored of each other if not properly handled.

Marriage is sacred, sweet and honourable so should not be defiled by whatsover reason, so the men should help their wives to keep them interesting at all times

tpiah why will u say it's normal,although, ups and down will b in a marriage to know if th marriage will last but not up to that extent.this happen cos some people get married cos of the physical beauty n when tha physical beauty is gone,then the love dies,some happen cos dey dont freshing up their marriage wit kissing or rewed.the part of kissing,the husband dont kisss the wife due to mouth odor which both of u need to work out.try some new tip like this and things might work out.kiss urself every morning after brushing ur teeth,say somtin nice to eachoda,help eachoda's out and u'll see.after

I think even many women devotes most ofl their attentions to their children once then begin to arrive and totally neglect their husbands and after nursing of babies its difficult to continue with their husbands where they stopped.

annyplenty:

I think even many women devotes most ofl their attentions to their children once then begin to arrive and totally neglect their husbands and after nursing of babies its difficult to continue with their husbands where they stopped.

word!

mrsb:

Hi All. I've been married for 7 years and it’s not always easy. Marriage is a wonderful blessing, particularly when the kids came too but it is HARD WORK. Especially for a woman! We have to try and find a compromise between being a respectful, submissive and Christian wife who can take care of the home, kids and also hold down a job/career - and yes, we also have to still try and look hot (weight, hair, nails etc) and be sexy when we've been up all night with babies, spent the weekend running around after in-laws and slogged away in the office. It is very easy to slip into the comfort zone and either be asleep or looking like shit in trackies by the time husband comes home after a long day. Its not what he wants to come home to! I try my best to have a clean and calm home for him to come home to - and a clean and cute looking wifey too!!  
18pt]Its super important to marry someone you genuinely cannot live without and someone who you really get on with [/size]- we are really good friends and I'm lucky enough that he talks to me about business issues and asks my advice on things to do with his office - HOWEVER we must be careful not to slip into the "best friend" role where the love becomes like brother/sister - and as most of the guys in this forum joyously pointed out - it IS about the sex, if that slips, all else fails, and interest wanes, and we all know how many chicks are waiting to service your man in Naija if you let them,

Of course, some guys are assholes and will get bored anyway, no matter what their wife does!  

[size=1

silkybaby [/b:
link=topic=275732.msg3922322#msg3922322 date=1243281925]
Usually after wedding you tend to discover each other like you are unwrapping your wedding gifts, then you discover things you did not know about the other person.

A lot of men like excitement so they cheat if they can't get it from their wives. It is usually the woman who works harder to make the marriage work.

Nevertheless, you are there to complement each other, if you are the bubbling type & he is the boring type then you have to come up with new ideas to keep the fire burning, you have to find out what makes him tick. Women work harder to make things work.

[b]Communication is very important, but don't nag, talk to him about how you feel, cause he might be ignorant - some men don't know any better.

Always give him something to look forward to. You have to be his wife, his girlfriend, his best pal etc. Be approachable !!! be adventurous!!!

Always look good even when you are in doors. Don't look like an old woman while breast feeding.

topsy25  10:57 AM
IF YOU MARRY UR FRIEND, SHE WONT GET U BORED [/b]Cool

I dated my wife for 9 years, 11mths and 17days before we got married. I dont see her just as a sex object, but as a lover, friend, mother, sister and my better half. I've never been bored with her and I can say same for her Grin Wink

Please dont get me wrong; we do have our problems and misunderstandings, but we'll always come together to talk about it cos we know shouting and nagging at each other will never solve our problems but rather add to it. [b]Most importantly we pray together.

blessed are you guys for knowing what you know.  sadly this microwave generation of get it here and now cant wait for anything let alone the right person they cant live without. marriage is hard work like every good thing what you put in is what you likely get out of it. i do know there are jerks out there too who dont care whatever you do. better be a looser in love than a miserable looser in life

ololomu:

i have a friend who toasted his wife best friend and chief bride's maid on thier wedding day. He even grab by the corner and squeez her breast on the same wedding day. Men's lust cannot be controlled marriage or no marriage.

This is so not true, are you now saying that men are slaves to their lust? That they have no self-discipline or self-control when it comes to lust? I beg to differ. It is a thing of the mind. Yes, the sexual urge is strong but it CAN be controlled.

@ topic, i agree with tpiah, there must be some level of boredom but there are ways to get round it. Nothing helps like communication, prayer and marrying your friend This cannot be overstated. Marriage is hard work but hard sweet work. The fruits of that work is too sweet. Both the husband and wife have to work to spice things up and make the marriage interesting. Also when you marry someone you can't live without, boredom only makes you think of how to make things more interesting. Instead of boredom being a problem, it becomes a challenge to make a marriage better.

And i say this with experience. I dated my husband for three years, there is nothing we cannot talk and pray about and it has been a great help.

Cause there bitches

this case actually depend on how they got to know each other, if they courted themselves very long to know each others character very well. the man may actually see the girls physcal looks as usuall and get attracted, never wanting to loose that kind of fine chic, he rushes into marriage, then he finds out she is not actually his type, so he goes out. or the girl is the boring type, she does not communicate with him neither does she make him smile

There is one thing everybody seem to be missing. abstinence from sex before marriage. sincerely, two who find themselves as hubby and wifey and who have never engaged in sex before marriage, would observe a different feeling for each other. They do not easily get bored of each other - not when both have strong sexual fantasies waiting to be explored; fantasies which would take a long time to remember,venture, learn and perfect over time.This learning process would not be there for those who have been "testing" - males and females.

Yes, this is hard to find in our day. But you cannot eat your cake and have it.

Yet another issue to getting bored or not of hubbys and wifeys is open communication about each others feelings - emotional and sexual.

Husbands, even if you feel your wife is telling her past when she Tells you her sexual needs, hold your assumptions that she will seek satisfaction for these needs outside. Just find ways to satisfy her as best as you can.
Wifes, una dey there? I will put it simple. Be spoilt in the bedroom, but when in public, act in such a way that your husband will be wondering if this is the wife that sleeps with me in bed.

Why shouldn't a man get bored of that old cow after you have seen her finish? She is already an expired waste of space after few months of marriage!

Obviously the shakara she was doing has waned and you now know how dirty she is, how irritating her periods are, how greedy she is, how jealous and abusive she is, she has released her nagging dictionary to the public, she has compounded a man's problems by dumping her personal and extended family's problem on him, she is obsessive, a control freak, a bad cook, getting fatter by the day, accumulating stretch marks everywhere, looking more like a decorated baboon, stingy, having saggy breasts, probably barren infested and the neighbourhood gossip!

Abegi, after 2 months of marriage, everyman should start looking for option B and C and leave that old cow to watch t.v 24/7

@ Chuck Bass,
Are you married? In the situation you posted, di the guy marry the lady for looks or for companionship. Granted she should maintain her looks but you make it sound like he married for beauty.

Ejadamen:

@ Chuck Bass, 
Are you married? In the situation you posted, di the guy marry the lady for looks or for companionship. Granted she should maintain her looks but you make it sound like he married for beauty.

hmmm, its kind'a funny when a guy loses his job and can't provide for his family as he use to, his wife starts acting out or even leaves him, now did she marry him for his money? i clearly remember tons of NL girls here that preach "no money no romance" . why should a guy keep u if u loose ur shape?

Lifts up his face and says "forgive them lord for they know not what they say"

invisible!:

Lifts up his face and says "forgive them lord for they know not what they say"

and the Lord replies, mind your business

,.

.

na2day?:

hmmm, its kind'a funny when a guy loses his job and can't provide for his family as he use to, his wife starts acting out or even leaves him, now did she marry him for his money? i clearly remember tons of NL girls here that preach "no money no romance" . why should a guy keep u if u loose ur shape?

It has long been agreed that some people marry for the wrong reasons. Whether male or female, one should not marry for beauty, money ,  these things are needed but should not be the foundation on which a marriage is laid. Haba! The girls preaching 'no money no romance' i wish them good luck, they'll eventually find what they are looking for.  Same thing for the men looking for eternally shapely wives.  These people IMO have no business being married. Marriage is much more than that or are the vows just taken for fun?  If a man/woman wants to dump their partner because of a factor that is not permanent, then why did they marry? This is what gives marriage a bad name. 

A woman losing her shape can be encouraged to gym and get back in shape. A man who loses his job will not be jobless forever. Like i said there's more to marriage than all these flimsy factors.