Op without siding your sister when was the last time you checked her to know what's up with her?are you just sitting in your house miles apart and assuming every thing is alright with her.Are you sure she herself isn't facing any financial crisis or in debt.you have to go and check her before jumping into conclusions.then again Are you sure she's not battling with health crisis that's gulping her money?find out first .she may be experiencing a challenge that is taking a toll on her finances that she doesn't want you to know and you people will be assuming she's a big girl not knowing what she's going through.it's not every one living in a beautiful house, wearing nice clothes or driving a fancy car that is financially comfortable. Those are just camouflag

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

Didn't you see where he said the mum is dying

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

This is how you know the wicked.

Some people are plain wicked and silly...Some even compare Nigerian settings to that of the west/abroad. This is being totally out of touch with reality...

Do you people think the OP doesn't have problems of his own, why you are reading this is because the OP cares for their mother...

Is it not the Parents that paid for her school fees and upkeep till she got to these level or una wan tell me say she be Pharmacist right from birth?

The only thing the OP did wrong was Caring for the Mother.

Remember If everybody decides to stay on their own and do what pleases them...we all know how it will Pan out...

Your sister is a Disgrace....and i believe she will be hail as a generous person in certain angles while his mother rots..

Better talk sense into her...No need sending emissaries to do that...

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

Her own mother??

The essence of this thread is the health of the op's mum. She is worried about her mum and the person who can help is not forthcoming.

No matter what grudge the op's sister may be bearing against the mum or whatever, mother is mother. Irreplaceable. Even if the lady is going through financial challenges, MOTHER is MOTHER. I will sell the cloth off my back if that is what will ensure my mum's health is okay.

The op's sister has no excuse

.

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

Maybe your mom don offend her b4....
Make inquiries

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

Sad to say this but she is not obligated to take care of you guys. Maybe she was maltreated as a young woman or you people are simply not nice to her.

I notice that you made mention of her marital status. You said she is saving her money for another man. I am very sure you have expressed these backwards sentiments to her that's why she is ignoring you guys.
Try and live your life on your own.

Your sister is frustrated... Man problem... Or may be she drank some of the drugs she is producing.... She needs tb joshua.

OP this story never end, there's definitely a reason why she's ignoring you guys or your Mum.

armyofone:
You are so right. And it is so unfortunate his/her thought process. They don't even care to know how she is doing, if she is paying back debts, or something. They have calculated she is a pharmacist and as such, she is automatically rich. When is this entitlement going to end?
Suze Orman once said it is what is making many people poorer than they should be. It is very common among black/African too.
The days of carrying family financial burden on oneself is gone. Wake up and work your way up with no expectation from anyone. Talk to her yourself, tell her what you have been doing and what is going on back home.
You OP should consider helping your mom more because you never know what your sister is really going through wherever she is.

I agree with you on the black people entitlement principle. However it is hypocrisy for you to tell the OP to consider helping the mum more. Like he already stated he is schooling and working. Despite his tight financial position he still reaches out to his mum. The ability to "GIVE" especially to ones family is not proportionate to a big pocket. A caring child will always make room for a 500N note for his old mum.

Organise boys to deal with her

Franzinni:
Your sister is frustrated... Man problem... Or may be she drank some of the drugs she is producing.... She needs tb joshua.

Its comments like this that will make the sister hesitant to help. Even OP said that his sister is saving money for her husband, which kain reasoning be that?

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

maybe your sister have something against ya mother for what she has done her.

but never the less, stop looking up to her and try to do the very best you can for her. I'm sure things will turn around

Richy4:
Some people here don't just understand African settings. they equate every thing with American ways of life. some are even given Suzie orman show example on how she will be poor bla bla bla.

The Girl in question was trained by somebody in the family, she was invested upon so that when the people that invested on her became tired, she inturn will help out that is African settings.....


When it comes to abroad, They all got student loans and grant that will see them through University and when they graduate, and start working, they will pay all that. so they will never depend on their parent for anything, That is why they don't give money to their parent or any thing. and their parent on the other hand were saving a pension fund that will see them through retirement. because their kids will not look after them, they are going to a nursing homes or retirement village with the money they saved.

So that girl did not train herself neither did she applied for a student loan grant. because I am sure such thing was not in Nigeria. so the money the parent should have saved for retirement was used on her which was investment.

So now that she is working and the mother was not, she should help.....
People should not come in here and start forming oyibo and start supporting the girl's action because it was wrong.

After all if you get a student grant you will have to pay when you are working, no matter what you are passing through financially, the people that facilitated those loan and grant will not listen to you till you start paying by instalment.

No where in the post did OP say their family trained her. A lot of people in Nigeria train themselves through university. We don't even know how her family treated her when growing up.
It could even be that she has been giving them money all these while , yet they keep insulting her because she's single (as you can deduce from OP original post).
We need to hear both sides.

One church has caged her or a boyfriend conman is holding her to ransom.Finally,she is a foolish and is turning to a prodigal daughter.

raayah:


Its comments like this that will make the sister hesitant to help. Even OP said that his sister is saving money for her husband, which kain reasoning be that?

aunty don't vex... Abi, do you have MAN problem too... In my circle it can also be called MANOPAUSE or man- o - pause

Have you even confirmed that she is really a pharmacist and not a pharmacy sales girl. Some people tell their family what they are not. Also do you realize that she may not be as buoyant as you think she is and may just earn enough to survive? Maybe your mum needs to go and spend some time with her, and if your family and your mum has offended her then you people should apologize

send her pictures and videos of your mum.... maybe she would have a change of heart.

baby124:
Have you even confirmed that she is really a pharmacist and not a pharmacy sales girl. Some people tell their family what they are not. Also do you realize that she may not be as buoyant as you think she is and may just earn enough to survive? Maybe your mum needs to go and spend some time with her, and if your family and your mum has offended her then you people should apologize

Exactly my thinking.
I still fail to see how her success is a curse to his family.

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

Not quite. I don't know how someone could be rich and be comfortable with the plight of her family.

Ginaz:
Something is eating her deeply, may be something that happened to her, a bad memory or experience. Except she makes it known to everybody, she won't change.

Exactly my thoughts too.

use the little you have to take good care of your mother, forget your sister. She have a different orientation and mindset about family. You don't need to worry yourself about her. Wish her well and do the little you can for your mum and other members of the family.

Heavenly blessings comes to any body who takes good care of his/her parents. Blessings which can never be bought with money.

Responsibility is an act of conscience and not an act of richness.

Mind you that is not the reason behind th Phrase "it Is finished" watch wat u quote author=menix post=40351850]Quit expecting her to sort u guyz nd u will experience open doors but once u keep hoping she will change nd start supporting the family you will be limited by ur thought..

Ask yourself this, if ur wealthy sister is not in the picture won't the family survive.

I know of a family their sister is a bank manager in USA, since the day she left nigeria till date she has not visited to say hi to the aged parents, she does not call, talkless send a torn wrapper to the mum..

This is what Jesus saw on the crox nd shouted it's is finished (Uwa Embigo)[/quote]

raayah:


Exactly my thinking.
I still fail to see how her success is a curse to his family.

Don't mind them, it's their expectation of her that is a curse to them. You get a job and suddenly the whole family demands that you feed them. Even the senior ones that should know better, and should be out hustling. They waste their youth and start claiming right. While some people go through hell to see themselves out of poverty.

raayah:


Sad to say this but she is not obligated to take care of you guys. Maybe she was maltreated as a young woman or you people are simply not nice to her.

I notice that you made mention of her marital status. You said she is saving her money for another man. I am very sure you have expressed these backwards sentiments to her that's why she is ignoring you guys.
Try and live your life on your own.

in doctor Phil's voice * hmm... I sense a very strong vibe of 'personalization" *

Yours is better, my elder bros will give 200k to his babes for just shopping but can never give us more than 10k. what I did is delete his number from my phone. He has so many connection in our state but can never help us rather outsiders gets his help. Some people be like why u dey cry for money your bros na big boy na, I smile and continue my hustle.

Ishilove:

Her own mother??

The essence of this thread is the health of the op's mum. She is worried about her mum and the person who can help is not forthcoming.

No matter what grudge the op's sister may be bearing against the mum or whatever, mother is mother. Irreplaceable. Even if the lady is going through financial challenges, MOTHER is MOTHER. I will sell the cloth off my back if that is what will ensure my mum's health is okay.

The op's sister has no excuse

Thank you for that comment. I can't find any reason big enough to abandon a sick sister talk less of my sick mum. Recently my mum threatened to curse me and my kids. Imagine my mum furiously threatening to curse me, for advising her that beating my dad was totally wrong especially for someone like her that is a "pastor". However despite the standoff I just sent her 20.000 Naira equivalent to visit a dentist as soon as I heard she was having severe dental pains. I equally have been calling my sister daily to find out how she is recovering. "The fault of a brother is never felt in the bone"

..

Lol meanwhile my fellow nigga is flexing her everything both the money and the ...... Hehehe... Check very well you would see

Something de wrong wit u

tpiadotcom:
op if you are referring to the recent election then plz move your thread to politics and adjust your opening post accordingly.

gsalvatore:
Some people are plain wicked and silly...Some even compare Nigerian settings to that of the west/abroad. This is being totally out of touch with reality...

Do you people think the OP doesn't have problems of his own, why you are reading this is because the OP cares for their mother...

Is it not the Parents that paid for her school fees and upkeep till she got to these level or una wan tell me say she be Pharmacist right from birth?

The only thing the OP did wrong was Caring for the Mother.

Remember If everybody decides to stay on their own and do what pleases them...we all know how it will Pan out...

Your sister is a Disgrace....and i believe she will be hail as a generous person in certain angles while his mother rots..

Better talk sense into her...No need sending emissaries to do that...

Most of Nigerians abroad dont know much about our heritage and culture,its an obligation for her to take care of her parents,she is a curse as the OP says no doubt about it,I can feel your pain

I hope this coming generation will learn from the mistake of the past. I have traveled around (Thanks to God for His blessings) I have come to understand that in the West parents work hard to guarantee their future and that of their kids. Unlike in our country where people stop short of guaranteeing their future by starting a family hoping and believing that their kids will be under obligation to handle their (parents) financial situations in the future.

Do not see your children as an investment, rather parents should treat their children as human that should leave and freely work to take care of themselves in the future without the parents placing unnecessary expectations on them.

I have seen people whose career are barely off the ground, rushing into starting family, because they want to please society and at the same time they believe they will channel all their energy ( income which is barely enough) into their kids as an investment. There are a lot of issues that comes with seeing your kids as an investment- with the hope that the elder one will raise the younger ones and eventual take care of the parents.

To the young generation and to -be parents please stop putting your children through such psychological torture, moreover you did not consult any of the kids before embarking on such 'ventures' neither did any of those kids signed an agreement with you.

Please parents shoulder your responsibilities and stop mortgaging your children future, just because you don't want to be left out of the 'I am married' crew or the ' I got married early' crew.


As a side note, I used to laugh when I see people ranting on how much they love their parents because of the sacrifice their parents made to raise them. Yes it is true that your parents could choose not to raise you but at the same time it is their responsibility- a responsibility they willing took upon, most times even when it is obvious that they are not up for it financially or emotionally, to raise you. So I see nothing special in it, just parents taking care of their 'mess'.