my gf and i broke up after a year of being together. it was a long time coming, and the problems we had were sort of my doing, however she also had some baggage and acted crazy as heck.

she was super over me and i found out she had a guy at work that seemed to be all that, talking her up and making her feel good. they ended up dating for almost two months but the whole time she was sort of trying to keep up contact with me. after i ignored her for a month i finally gave in and asked her what she wanted and she just said that she missed me. we hung out once and she fell apart and begged to get back with me. she said things were over with that guy. turns out they were just fizzling out and she had noticed he had a bad drug/alcohol problem. I personally think she's retarded for even going there with someone after she noticed the party boy problem he had.

regardless she said she had a lot of feelings for him and they had a good time together. but everything he lacked, I had. and she wanted to get back with me after realizing that we had something special.

we both needed the break i think. but now I'm having some major issues with insecurities and possibly codependency.

After 3 weeks of us being back together i was really starting to trust her again and had sneakily gone through her phone and never found anything and she was always where she said she was going to be and i started relaxing and not being such a controlling psycho lol. But then she took a pregnancy test. she was pregnant and we realized that it was definitely the other guys kid. she had an abortion yesterday, was very hurt, depressed, and confused. I understand she has a lot of emotions. anyways she told the guy two days ago, and yesterday had the abortion. him and her have been texting back and forth and she's let me read everything they've written and its nothing shady, but there are some hurdles I'm having trouble getting past.
1) because of the nature of our breakup she isn't comfortable telling people about us yet cause everyone hates me pretty much.
2) although we are really doing quite well, she said she still has some feelings for the guy even though he is an idiot and says she never wants to talk to him again.
3) she seems hurt and wants closure etc because of the abortion

IM just sort of wondering if I'm being unreasonable telling her I expect her to not contact him anymore after the abortion. I want all of her and i feel bad about the situation but I've been really cool about the whole thing. she keeps telling me to control my mind and has honestly said some pretty amazing stuff to me, about the way she feels about me. ( i have everything going for me, she's more comfortable with me than anyone she's ever met, she's never been with someone where kissing and making love just gets better and better, and she is ALLLLL over me when I'm not acting insecure and pestering her for information) IDK she has just been pretty confident and collected in spite of everything going on, minus some major nuclear meltdowns where she was crying and freaking out about having to get an abortion.

I really want a future with this girl and I'm just battling insecurities and i don't get how i am being like this. i have never felt like this before and its honestly sort of crippling. I can't control my mind. its just wandering until i find some idea to latch onto that makes me think something CRAZY, and then I'm back to wondering and picking apart the situation.

This is serious...

Erm i lo understand this oo..Lemme call broda decker and blodah cutehector so they can help you out

diz one is strong

Juz like reading a novel book...smh...I dunno what to say.

Diddyydiva:
Erm i lo understand this oo..Lemme call broda decker and blodah cutehector so they can help you out

What the hell? Are You brother-zoning me?

How is this psychotic epistle my business? This o.p sef!

Hhmmmmmm

Mehn my eyes ooo
Probability of them fvckin is higher than Jamaican weed

Is she your First love Op?

Hoes aint loyal

Decker:

What the hell? Are You brother-zoning me?

hehehehehehe Don't you want to be my bloda?

bloda in tha lawd

Guy u making me sick and sapping my energy

complicated sh*t.
no offence, but you guys need to see a shrink.
your issues' got issues and no one on this forum can help you, am sure.

Whatever rocks your boat!your mind's made up already about her.everyone has messed up at a certain time in life.if you still want a future with her,MOVE ON and u guys should start afresh!##no one is perfect#

Wonders shall never end










End time relationship /love

just when u thought we av seen it all...

well if i were to be in ur shoes....i will take a trip far away from all dis complicated shii...might be alone or with her, depends on wot i want.

buh like some rightly said...see a shrink.

Diddyydiva:
hehehehehehe
Don't you want to be my bloda?


bloda in tha lawd

Nope, I only want to be a brother to my siblings, and my siblings only.

If u can forgive her and move on, cool.. I believe with time u can push out those bad thoughts. U love her so much too, that I can tell frm ur story, xo y not?





Disclaimer: Give t anoda chance if thats wah u want#

OP SINCERELY SPEAKING I WOULD ADVICE YOU TO MOVE AND REASON CUS SHE ONLY LEFT THAT GUY CUS OF HIS ALCOHOLIC PROBLEM BUT WHAT IF SHE FINDS ANOTHER WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM THAT MEANS SHE WON'T COME BACK...ALL I WILL SAY IS THIS, JUST STAY WITH HER TILL WHEN SHE S STRONG ENOUGH THEN YOU CAN BREAK UP WITH HER (WITH REASONS) CUS BLIV ME IT WON'T LAST LONG B4 THE INSECURITY START CREEPING IN LATER IN THE FUTURE AND YOU IL START USING THIS ABORTION SHE DID AS AN EXCUSE TO HURT HER OR GET BACK AT HER....S HARD BUT JUST LET GO FOR U BOTH HAPPINESS

I think you guys need another break....

OP I cast the spirit of confusion out of ur body.

@agbitaj

1) because of the nature of our breakup she isn't comfortable telling people about us yet cause everyone hates me pretty much.

warning signs #1 if what other people think of you is more important than doing what is right and standing by one another proudly, then you might as well call it quit right away.

2) although we are really doing quite well, she said she still has some feelings for the guy even though he is an idiot and says she never wants to talk to him again.

warning signs #2 beware as you might just simply be a rebound AND a safe shoulder to comfort her from her messed up life. its too early and there is still too many emotions between her and this guy. give her time, if it is meant to be between you two then she will be there waiting for you

3) she seems hurt and wants closure etc because of the abortion

warning signs #3 DAMAGED GOODS ALERT!!!! thread carefully bro, the psychological and emotional scars that can be involved after an abortion is NO child's play!

let me ask you:

1) you guys did break up for a reason, so if nothing has changed about YOURSELF then why do you think that anything will be any different in this r/ship, this time around?! you lack what this guy possess, therefore unless YOU change, this gal will always be yearning for more.

2) if she could leave you for another guy ONCE then she can do it again and again.... sadly, something was broken between you two that you will never ever be able to fix.

3) pls sit down and ask yourself this important question: "before you guys break up, she was a pain in the aasss, now she is back with even MORE baggage, what makes you think this time around its going to be better?!"

4) your insecurities (aka lack of trust) will never bring peace to this union

Op Trust me when I say this is Spiritual

Decker:


Nope, I only want to be a brother to my siblings, and my siblings only.

Ouch!

you just broke my heart .why nah

Diddyydiva:
Ouch!

you just broke my heart .why nah

How did I break your heart?

So, what should we do?

Diddyydiva:
Erm i lo understand this oo..Lemme call broda decker and blodah cutehector so they can help you out

i no follow bang d babe na ... The guy dey on him own

Decker:


How did I break your heart?

You rejected my offer of brotherhood nah