What does the Quran have to say about forgiveness?
The first thing that the Quran emphasizes is the relationship between piety (being God conscious) and forgiveness. For example in (3:134) it describes a true believer “Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good. The Quran makes a connection between forgiveness (on our part) and our need for God’s forgiveness. For example in (24:22)

“Let them forgive and overlook, do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” In other words if one wants God to forgive their sins then they should be understanding to other people’s difficulties and forgive them. The Quran also ties between forgiveness and perseverance. For example we read in the Quran (7:199) “Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; But turn away from the ignorant.”

What are some prophetic traditions that deal with this topic?
There are several references from the sayings of the Prophet and also examples in his own behavior. First of all, the Prophet indicated that strength is not found in a person’s physical strength but rather in a person’s ability to control himself when he becomes angry. As narrated in Muslim the strong person is not the one who can defeat the other but the one who can truly control himself when he is angry. In a narration by Al Tabarani, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) says “Shall I tell you something that will make your palaces in Paradise higher and that would raise you in degrees.” They said “Yes.” He replied “To be forgiving and to control one’s self in the face of someone who provokes you. To forgive a person who was unfair or unjust to you, to give someone in need who did not give you when you were in need and to keep contact with someone even though they did not reciprocate it.”

An example from the practical side of the prophetic tradition is narrated by Al Tabarani that an Arab Bedouin came to the Prophet and asked for provisions. So Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave him provisions and asked the man if he had been fair to him. The man in arrogance and rudeness replied “No, nor have you been kind nor have you been good to me.” Many of the companions around Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) got provoked and very angry and rushed towards him. The Prophet however restrained them and told them to let him be. The Prophet went to his home and asked sent for the man. Then the Prophet within his home gave the man more provisions and then again asked if he was being faire to the man. The man replied “Certainly, may God bless you and reward you.” The Prophet then told the man that when he had relied in the negative yesterday it had put unease in the hearts of his companions and if he could say what he just said in front of them. The Prophet was more concerned about this person’s relation with the others than about himself.

The following day they went to the Mosque and the Prophet stood and said “That Arab Bedouin fellow claimed yesterday that we were not fair to him and after I gave him more of his needs he claimed that he is now satisfied and he turned to the man and said is that true? The man replied in the affirmative “May God bless you and reward you for your kindness.” Then he turned to his companions and said “The example of this man and myself is like somebody who had a camel, who started rebelling and started running from him. People started running after the camel which increased its excitement and rebelliousness. The man that owned the camel said leave the camel to me I know how to deal with this situation. The man picked some grass and started moving towards the camel slowly till the camel settled down and was very easily controlled. This example is similar to this one. If you got angry with this fellow and you may have killed him in his state of ignorance and he may have gone to the hell fire. But look at the result after we took care of his needs while forgiving his infractions. In the Quran in (60:7) it says “It may be that Allah will grant love (and friendship) between you and those whom ye (now) hold as enemies.” This is the attitude that is found towards this subject in both the sayings and behavior of the Prophet.

Isn’t anger just a reaction to stress and isn’t always forgiving beyond human capacity?
Islam never asks for anything that is beyond a human’s capacity. The Quran says in (2:286) “On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear” We don’t have to be angels but we must try our best. Anger should always be controlled and should not be a source for rash actions or lead to rage.
In one saying of the Prophet (PBUH) narrated in Al Tirmithi he said that “People are created in different degrees: people who slowly get angry and forget fast, people who get angry quickly and forgive quickly, people who are slow to get angry and slow to forgive, and people who get angry quickly and slowly forgive.” Then he said “The best of those people are those in the first category and the worst belongs to the last category.”

Are there certain innate qualities that make them more likely to be forgiving than others?
The most innate character that causes people to forgive is the purity of their hearts. These people generally have a heart that is connected with its creator and a heart that tries its best to comply with the will of God. In the Quran in (59:10) it describes the true believers prayers “Our Lord! Forgive us, and our brethren who came before us into the Faith, and leave not, in our hearts, rancor (or sense of injury) against those who have believed. Our Lord! Thou art indeed Full of Kindness, Most Merciful.” In a saying of the Prophet (PBUH) in Ibn Maja he was asked which type of people are the best. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) answered “A person who is truthful and a person whose heart is (makhmoom) clean and pious with no sinful tendencies, no aggression, no grudges nor jealousy.” In the collection of Hadith by Bukhari the Prophet (PBUH) said “Do no cut yourself from one another, do not turn your back on each other, do not hate each other, do not be jealous of each other and be servants of God as brothers.” He continued “It is not legitimate for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days.”
Is there any authority that can oblige a person the Muslim to accept an apology in the cases of disputes or misunderstandings?
We quoted earlier from the Quran (24:22) “Let them forgive and overlook” which is only one example that addresses this subject. In Ibn Maja where the Prophet is quoted that if a person gives a sincere apology to his brother (for wrong that he has done to him) that is not accepted. The person doesn’t accept the apology would have a sin as much as a person who takes people’s property away without reason.”
It is quite obvious from these examples that the idea behind an apology is not to humiliate the person but for it to be accepted in good faith. This includes family disputes and that people should not bring up the past and always be overly critical.

cc sissie , mukina2

This o ne na test because me over here i get some people that its very difficult for me to even smile at them not to talk of forgiveness.
Its really painful when people harm you and go on to have a good life whilst you still suffer from the harm they did to you

Nice post eluquenson.

Thanks for sharing.

Man sha Allah! Jazakumllahi Khairan