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An American Girl In Need Of Advice: - Romance - Nairaland

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An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 11:44pm On May 27, 2009
Hello everyone

This is my first time posting to Nairaland so please bear with me, I will try to make this as brief as possible,

I have been talking to this Nigerian guy for almost a year, hes very kind, attractive, treats me and my friends with ultimate respect, just an all-around nice guy, my problem with him is that he says that he is not ready for a relationship (for numerous reasons), which I respect, but I dont know if I should leave him alone or continue this thing we have, because either way I am and will be unhappy. (does that make sense?) He tells me that he never wants to lose contact with me because I am a good girl and that I have been there for him. Sooo, my question is, what advice would you give? Leave or stay?

P.S. Yes I am in love with him

P.S.S. I have read people's replies to some postings and you guys can be pretty harsh, please dont be mean, thanks
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by C2H5OH(f): 11:49pm On May 27, 2009
Like you said, you are and will be unhappy with him. Best leave him alone. Find someone else.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 12:04am On May 28, 2009
What I mean by that is that I will be unhappy if I leave and unhappy with staying so idk which to choose,
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by C2H5OH(f): 12:07am On May 28, 2009
That's your own decision to make.  Dude said he ain't ready 4 a relationship.  If you stick around you should be willing to settle for that until he is ready.

If you want a relationship, then leave.  There are other men out there.


p.s. are you hot? I can help ya out.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by robby1(m): 12:16am On May 28, 2009
I will say, ask the guy to make a descision, weather he wants you or not. Does he love you as well or does he just like your company? Put the ball in his court and if he doesent want, you guys should part in a polite and friendly way but never make contact. Its not you descision alone to stay or go. he has to make compromises too.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Phemytrend: 12:19am On May 28, 2009
Is better you go on with ur life if  the guy is  not ready to hav any relationshp with u , fine with him u live, without him life goes on.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by yme1(f): 12:26am On May 28, 2009
move on
move on
move on undecided
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 12:33am On May 28, 2009
Thank you all so very much for your responses, it is helping me put things into perspective.


@ C2H5OH
lol, I like to think so!
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by yme1(f): 12:35am On May 28, 2009
y me:

move on
move on
move on undecided
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by C2H5OH(f): 1:28am On May 28, 2009
Classic88:

@ C2H5OH
lol, I like to think so!

Oh for real? Why don't you hit me. Let's chat.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by yme1(f): 1:29am On May 28, 2009
C2H5OH:

Oh for real? Why don't you hit me. Let's chat.
my frd will you stay ya tongue grin
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by C2H5OH(f): 1:34am On May 28, 2009
lol i couldn't resist.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by tope5000: 1:35am On May 28, 2009
Classic88:

Hello everyone

This is my first time posting to Nairaland so please bear with me, I will try to make this as brief as possible,

I have been talking to this Nigerian guy for almost a year, hes very kind, attractive, treats me and my friends with ultimate respect, just an all-around nice guy, my problem with him is that he says that he is not ready for a relationship (for numerous reasons), which I respect, but I dont know if I should leave him alone or continue this thing we have, because either way I am and will be unhappy. (does that make sense?) He tells me that he never wants to lose contact with me because I am a good girl and that I have been there for him. Sooo, my question is, what advice would you give? Leave or stay?

P.S. Yes I am in love with him

P.S.S. I have read people's replies to some postings and you guys can be pretty harsh, please dont be mean, thanks

Why doesnt he want a relationship? undecided
Are u guys physically involved?
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 1:36am On May 28, 2009
Lol now my question is are u hot?!
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by 190: 1:37am On May 28, 2009
na only american girls com de post 4 nland now these days!
na wa o! grin
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by yme1(f): 1:38am On May 28, 2009
C2H5OH:

lol i couldn't resist.
Classic88:

Lol now my question is are u hot?!
will read what transpired btw---------------
tomorrow grin cheesy cheesy
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by C2H5OH(f): 1:38am On May 28, 2009
Classic88:

Lol now my question is are u hot?!
Don't even trip offa that momi, I got you.
Only if you're down to get to know your boy

tope5000:

Why doesnt he want a relationship? undecided
Are u guys physically involved?
I hope not.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by C2H5OH(f): 1:40am On May 28, 2009
190:

na only american girls com de post 4 nland now these days!
na wa o! grin
grin they know naija boyz are a hot commodity.
our girls too dey form

y me:

will read what transpired btw---------------
tomorrow grin cheesy cheesy
baby, i'm only doing this to make you jealous y'kno
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by tope5000: 1:40am On May 28, 2009
C2H5OH:

Don't even trip offa that momi, I got you.
Only if you're down to get to know your boy

Lolz . . .which boy be dat? grin cheesy
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by C2H5OH(f): 1:42am On May 28, 2009
tope5000:

Lolz . . .which boy be dat? grin cheesy
Ooops smiley
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 1:47am On May 28, 2009
@tope5000

He says because he has too many things going on in his life right now and that he wouldn't be able to give a relationship 100%. I know he doesn't tell me everything but some of this includes him working trying to build himself financially and helping his family in Nigeria. And he'll say to me that he's on a mission to meet a certain goal, that's his focus and he's not gonna let anything get in the way of that.

And yes we are physically involved
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by tope5000: 1:50am On May 28, 2009
Classic88:

@tope5000

He says because he has too many things going on in his life right now and that he wouldn't be able to give a relationship 100%. I know he doesn't tell me everything but some of this includes him working trying to build himself financially and helping his family in Nigeria. And he'll say to me that he's on a mission to meet a certain goal, that's his focus and he's not gonna let anything get in the way of that.

And yes we are physically involved


I bet he his married back home undecided
Why get physically involved with a guy who told u point blank that he doesnt want a relationship with you? undecided
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 1:59am On May 28, 2009
@ tope5000

That would just be awful if he was. He recently went to Nigeria to visit for the first time since he came to America. I talked to him the whole while he was there and watched videos that he brought back of him and his family so if he is married he's very slick with it.

Because I care about him so much. I know it probably doesn't matter since it's already been done but I've stopped the physical involvement.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by C2H5OH(f): 2:02am On May 28, 2009
Oh come on. Dude is getting ass from you but he ain't ready to commit. And you over there catching feelings and letting him get some.
Another one don bite the dust. SMH undecided
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 2:03am On May 28, 2009
He didn't tell me that he didn't want a relationship until we had already been seeing each other for about 5 months and after we had already become involved sexually.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by tope5000: 2:03am On May 28, 2009
Classic88:

@ tope5000

That would just be awful if he was. He recently went to Nigeria to visit for the first time since he came to America. I talked to him the whole while he was there and watched videos that he brought back of him and his family so if he is married he's very slick with it.

Because I care about him so much. I know it probably doesn't matter since it's already been done but I've stopped the physical involvement.

Well good wink
The way i see it, having a relationship with you wont stop him from achieving whatever he wants to achieve.
Another thing might be . . . . because u African American undecided what tribe is he? do u know undecided and also how old if u dont mind me asking lipsrsealed
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by 190: 2:04am On May 28, 2009
ANY AMERICAN BABE IN THE HOUSE
HOLLA ME
IM SINGLE

ANY AMERICAN BABE IN THE HOUSE
HOLLA ME
IM SINGLE

ANY AMERICAN BABE IN THE HOUSE
HOLLA ME
IM SINGLE

ANY AMERICAN BABE IN THE HOUSE
HOLLA ME
IM SINGLE
grin grin grin
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 2:12am On May 28, 2009
@ tope5000

That's the way I see it also, I guess I just wanted to hear it from you guys.

He is from Benin City and he told me the tribe is udo?? I may be spelling that wrong.

I'm 25, he is 29
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Nobody: 2:29am On May 28, 2009
Stick with him if you want, but don't force him into a relationship.
There are numerous reasons why some people stay away from relationship. From fear of commitment to love of freedom.


Going personal (which I try not to sometimes), I would stick with him as a friend, maybe hoping that he might shift into the relationship gear. But I wouldn't force him into it or continue to bring the issue into our discussions.

Sofrey sofrey, dear. Let tomorrow take care of itself
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by 190: 2:32am On May 28, 2009
ooh oo
i see so the guy in question sef is even an edo boy
4rm benin
i said it
edo guys no de carry last
we too much! grin grin
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by Classic88(f): 2:41am On May 28, 2009
@ FL Gators

Thank you for your insight, very mature and realistic advice, I really appreciate it.
Re: An American Girl In Need Of Advice: by 190: 2:44am On May 28, 2009
@poster
and have u bothered cumin 2 benin 2 check him out
personally!
by payin his family a visit
benin guys are very sharp men!

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