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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Naija Movies. . . No Be So? (1224 Views)
Naija Movies. . . No Be So? by dominique(f): 11:09am On May 31, 2009 |
yore typical naija movie neffa complete without these . . . 1. Every problem you have is spiritual. 2. In every romance movie, someone must die . 3. It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them! 4. Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately. 5. Poisoned food always tastes better. 6. The best way to make money is by visiting a 'Babalawo' / joining a cult / sleeping with rich men. 7. One of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil. 8. There is never an end to your suffering, except death! 9. With a pastor , all things are possible. 10. A movie can be titled anything, such as: *The boy is mine, * Face me, I face you *Two rats, *Spanner, *Calculator, *Igala, *Ijele, *Igodo, *Igudu *Shigidi 11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not- 'shelled', twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics'. 12. You are in love, you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is, *Mr. Biggs/Tantalizers: where you'll most probably see an ex while feeding each other. *The beach: where it is imperative that you ride a donkey and/or carry her playfully and/or run after each other like school children. *Or the best: take her to buy some new ugly clothes. 13. An Igbo movie has been made if: * You visit a Dibia (Babalawo) * A fleet of cars is shown off at regular intervals for a total of half of the movie time. * Kanayo 'O' Kanayo is in the movie. Pete Edochie is there too! * To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult 14. Gun shots and knock-outs sound the same! 15. Sometimes the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie and other times, once you read the title and see the poster you know it all!!! (Also the soundtrack gives you a headache because it just narrates the whole story repeatedly - so much for suspense and intrigue!) 16. A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following actresses- * Stella Damascus * Stephanie Okereke * Genevieve Nnaji * Omotola Jalade * Rita Dominic 17. The police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life. 18. An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than a year and even in 20 year flashbacks. 19. It is permissible to wear very dark shades at night! 20. When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs! 21. When advertising a movie, you really should shout because, people are deaf 22. When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford-a beautiful house, very good furniture, T.V., nice clothes, but you won't be able to send your kids to school. 23. Most especially in Yoruba movies, your gateman must be inefficient and comical. He MUST dress like a freak, be rude to all your visitors and never mind his business. 24. the bad guy always dies or gets caught by none other than the police- LOL!!!! 25. At the end of a three hour movie you'll be reminded that THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING, WATCH OUT FOR PART 2! 26. An actor must also sweat profusely when crying. 27. An actor announces his death as he slowly dies- “You killed me” “I’m dying” “I’m dead” 28. In a case where a person is on his death bed, he/she must cough till they die. 29. Every ghost must wear a white cloth and have powdered unevenly distributed on their face. 30. No matter the type of movie, TO GOD BE THE GLORY, 1 Like |
Re: Naija Movies. . . No Be So? by iremain: 8:13pm On May 31, 2009 |
Good one brov. |
Re: Naija Movies. . . No Be So? by Abbygyal(f): 8:49pm On May 31, 2009 |
roflmaooo. . .nice one mahn. . .nollywood don tire mi sef |
Re: Naija Movies. . . No Be So? by Dclique(m): 10:40pm On May 31, 2009 |
Lol,its so damn predictable. |
Re: Naija Movies. . . No Be So? by BlaQWolf: 4:19pm On Mar 11, 2017 |
Want to know about you? What came about the name kimbra and how does it feel to be you ? You in school and family questions @kimbra |
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