[size=15pt]“I Wish My Wife Knew…”[/size]

#1– That I Love Her
1. How much I love her…how much I crave a look, a touch…even a hand on my shoulder.

2. I love my wife dearly! I can’t imagine what life would be like without her nor do I want to. I just wish she could tap into my brain and understand how I feel about her.

3. That I loved her more than anything.

4. I wish she knew how much I really love her.

5. If there is only one thing I could make my wife understand it would be how much I love her. I don’t know if words can every really do my feelings justice.

6. That I love her and that I am so happy being married to her.

7. You know how you can tell someone you love them? Well if only my wife knew how much I TRULY love her.

8. How much I really love and care about her. At times I don’t give her my complete attention, distracted by the TV or my phone. Guys usually don’t multi-task well so I think sometimes she might feel ignored which is not cool. I want her to know that I’m sorry if I ever hurt her feelings or have ever made her feel ignored. I love my wife so much! She deserves the very best.

9. How much I love her and how sorry I am for the times that I have ever hurt her. I wish I could take back the times that I ever hurt her feelings.

10. That I love her more than words can describe. I thought I loved her when I married her but the love grows bigger every day. I never imagined I could be so happy.

[size=13pt]#2– That She is Beautiful & Amazing[/size]
I wish she knew how beautiful and wonderful she really is… even though she doesn’t believe me.

I wish she understood how I see her. She is a wonderful beautiful person but often has a hard time seeing that.

I guess I wish she knew how beautiful she is. As much as I tell her she just doesn’t get it. I think she is incredibly sexy.

I wish she knew how truly beautiful she is to me. I wish she could see my feelings because I don’t express them well. I love her more than I know how to explain or show.

Every time I tell my wife she’s beautiful and sexy, it’s usually met with a skeptical scoff. I wish she knew I tell the truth and think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.

I wish my wife knew that she doesn’t need to do everything perfectly. She does so many things amazingly that she believes that everything she tries needs to be perfect. I don’t like that she gets down when she messes up on one thing.

How I feel and think in my mind about her. How grateful I am about the little things even if I don’t always show it.

You are better than you think you are. Thank you for being so gracious. Thank you for your help with the small things and for your input.
I wish she knew how important she is to me. Her self esteem holds her back, she’s capable of so much more. Women are amazing. I have grown so much because of my wife and am very grateful for all that she does for our family.

She doesn’t have to be the “perfect mom.” Every other mom has difficult challenges, too. No, they don’t “have it all together”. They are figuring it out just like you. Stop comparing yourself. You’re enough just the way you are.

That I can achieve much, much more than I can ever imagined with her help, support, and love. Every time I feel alone, insecure, incomplete, and insignificant she reminds me through her being there physically and spiritually that I am none of those things.

[size=13pt]#3– That I am Trying[/size]
I am a long ways from being the perfect husband and father but I am trying, so keep being patient!

I wish she knew that I really want to please her, in all ways. I always try and I don’t mess up on purpose.

I wish wives knew that their husbands would move the earth for them but sometimes we do not know how to convey it.

I absolutely adore her I just seem to find it difficult to bring the message across, particularly in the area of birthdays and special occasions.

I wish my wife knew how much it hurts when she gets upset with me. I don’t try to upset her but sometimes it happens and I feel badly about it. When she gets upset I fee badly about upsetting her and also with myself for doing whatever stupid thing I did.

I wish my wife knew more patience. I’m trying.

I think that when women imagine the perfect husband and father and what they hope we will become it is often an unrealistic expectation that is influenced by media (romantic comedies, etc.) We try to be romantic but we just aren’t flowing with it all the time!

I am not a very good conversationalist. It always seems that I say the wrong things or that every word is being analyzed. I then feel pressured to choose my words wisely so they can’t be interpreted in any other way. I’m trying. But I feel like I can’t win.

I wish she knew how much I worry about our future and my ability to provide for her the life I know she deserves.

Men like to hear about your feelings but can you not misconstrue what we say or complain when we have something to say. We’re trying to communicate but we need you to listen too.

When I said forever in my vows I meant it and I intend to do my best to make it a great forever

[size=13pt]#4– That Hints Don’t Work[/size]
Hints don’t work well with us. Be direct!

No, I can’t read your mind. Just tell me what you want.

Husbands are simple creatures. We can’t read minds.

I know you like being surprised with romantic gestures, but it’s really hard when I’m not creative and have no idea what your expectations really are. Just tell me what you want and I’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen. Why isn’t that romantic?

I wish my wife knew that something doesn’t have to be a surprise to be romantic. It’s romantic because I made a choice to love you the way you want to be loved.

Men aren’t complicated. Just tell us what you want. Don’t hint at it. Tell us. And please don’t complain about our shortcomings to others without even telling us what you expected to be done in the first place.

I wish wives knew how to communicate directly. If you’re unhappy with something I’m doing- tell me! Don’t tell your sister, mom, or friend.
If you want something just tell me. Doesn’t matter if it’s something you want to buy, a gift you want to receive, a place you want to go, or a date you want me to plan- just tell me. I’m probably not going to figure it out on my own.

Tell your husband how you want him to react when you are venting. Don’t make him guess or figure it out. Otherwise you both get frustrated with each other.

Tell us when you only want us to listen. We men are always in fix it mode so any problem brought to our attention starts drawing out a solution from our heads. If our wives could say that their problem is that they only need a listening ear for this problem we can fix the problem by being that listening ear. That makes us happy because we are a part of the solution and didn’t get in trouble for offering a improper solution. Our wives would be happy too because they got the listening ear. If we ask, they want the listening ear or a solution it can come across as condescending.

[size=13pt]#5– That I Want to be Her #1[/size]
You married me first before the kids.

I want to be the most important thing to her. There is a lot on her plate but I often feel like I’m a long way down the list.

Our children require a lot of her attention. I would LOVE for her to set some time apart for just me.

Wives are too over-scheduled and distracted with many different activities in life. I wish I was on her to-do list.

Men love to be very important to and wooed by their wives. Men don’t want to be the pursuer and initiators all of the time.

Yes, I always want to fix your problems. Sorry if it’s annoying, but I just want to be your hero.

I’m your husband but I also want to be your best friend.

I don’t need anything fancy – I just want your company. Everyone else gets your time. Can I?

When we first started dating and got married I felt like I was her world. Now I wonder if there’s room in her world for me.
She is the most important person to me in the world. I want to feel like I’m the same for her.

Awwwww.... So stealing and using this lines tonight. *modified* is lalasticalala sleeping?

[size=13pt]#6– That I Want to be Appreciated[/size]
I wish wives knew just how much the role of father and provider is being trampled on these days and just how important it actually is.

I go to work every day not for me, but for my wife. So she can be provided for and doesn’t have to go to work herself. It would mean a lot to me if she showed appreciation for that. I feel it is something taken for granted rather than appreciated. I also wish she could understand that her appreciation, love, and intimacy is a big key to my happiness.

That husbands need to feel appreciated by their wives for what they do.

Sometimes, life is hard. Work can be hard. Responsibilities can be hard. But when you know that your wife is on your team, it makes a world of difference. Thanks for being so supportive!

I want my wife to be proud of me.

I ultimately want to be loved for who I am now instead of what I could be. Often I don’t feel loved because she expects more than I can deliver. If I feel loved now unconditionally and it shows from her, than it makes me want to be better and ultimately become who she wants me to be in long run.

There have been several decades of men being devalued and marginalized. Being valued for our masculine gifts is rare and appreciated. The simple ‘thank you’ and a kiss on the cheek can keep up our spirits for quite some time.

Not to keep score and rub it in. Yes, moms do a great service – one of the greatest and hardest services in society. But husbands put in a lot of energy in their jobs to make it possible for wives to stay home and do their jobs, but my wife sometimes forgets that.

The intentional displays of respect to your husband will do more to buoy him as a husband and father. We want to do all we can for our family, even more when we know it is appreciated.

Fathers and husbands have an incredible obligation of not only being a provider like fathers and husbands were a generation ago, but there are more demands to be more involved in housework, raising children, and day-to-day tasks than ever before.



[size=13pt]#7– That Positivity is Attractive[/size]
Be positive! Be grateful, our life is already wonderful. You are already beautiful, act like it. Our kids are already angels, enjoy them. Our lives are blessed. Stress less, be grateful.

If you want your husband to like you and like being around you, be pleasant and positive. Don’t nag and complain.

Kindness is the key. In actions, words, and looks. We want to hear good things. I’ve heard there should be three positive statements for every one negative.

Instead of focusing on a single flaw in the picture, take a step back and look at the entire picture as a whole. If women analyzed the whole picture instead of a single flaw sometimes that flaw wouldn’t be as big of a deal. Look for the good in us and in life. Not the bad.

Negativity is ugly. I married you because you were pretty.

One of the main reasons I married my wife is she doesn’t get offended, she doesn’t hold a grudge, and forgives my shortcomings. She also communicates openly and honestly and positively. I see too many women that don’t forgive, don’t give the benefit of the doubt, and hide their true feelings until they come raging out.

When my wife is happy, I am happy.

My wife’s mood has a huge effect on my mood. It’s hard to be positive when you’re around someone who is negative. But it’s also easy to be happy when you’re around someone who is smiling and laughing.

My wife is never more beautiful than when she is smiling at me. (And I love when I am the reason for that smile)

When I’m at work at all day, I’m surrounded by unhappy, negative people. I look forward to coming home to a happy home.

[size=13pt]#8– That Her Words Matter[/size]
I wish my wife knew how tremendously powerful her voiced opinion is to me. When she compliments me or is impressed by something I’ve done, I soar for days. When she critiques my faults and nags about my shortcomings, I go in a hole for days. Anyone else could say the exact same words and they wouldn’t carry nearly the same weight. But what she thinks about me matters so much to me.

A wife has the power to motivate or demoralize her husband. Please choose words and actions wisely.

I guess what I wish for my wife is that she would build me more often through the things she said. Telling me specifically things she loved about me. It means so much when I do hear those things.

Please pay close attention to how you treat your husband in front of other guys. If you build your husband up in front of other guys, it counts for double. If you tear down your husband in front of other guys, it hurts twice as much.

I wish she knew how often she speaks down to me and how small and undesirable that makes me feel.

When you say things you don’t mean but you still say it, it still hurts.

I wish she knew that I actually have feelings.

I wish she knew that sometimes I need to be told that I look hot, or handsome, or sexy too.

I wish wives knew that when they complain about their husbands (to friends, family, etc.) it makes the husband look bad but they never seem to approach him on these issues.

Don’t compare me to your friends’ husbands.




[size=13pt]#9– That Sex Matters[/size]
Sex is NOT just sex. It makes me feel loved.

Yes, I do think a lot about sex. When we have sex, I feel more connected to her.

I wish my wife knew that it’s not a bad thing that I think about sex a lot. It means I think about HER a lot. Why is that wrong?

Intimacy is a big key to my happiness and well being. She is the only person I can turn to for intimacy and it hurts when it is not on her list of importance.

Just understand that when we know you aren’t in the mood for sex specifically and you sometimes have the attitude of “Fine, let’s just do it and get it over with”, it makes us feel like you aren’t desiring US! We would rather have you tell us you are just too tired and let’s try again in the morning.

That physical intimacy coupled with words of affirmation is an important way to help me to feel loved and needed in a relationship.

The best way to love me is to be responsive to sex.

Sex will almost always beat sleeping! It’s that important to me.

I wish she understood how strong of a sex drive that I have. I do not know why I am wired the way I am, but I truly do continuously and always desire her. I don’t know why that isn’t flattering to her?

I wish she knew that sex should be fun not dreaded. She treats it like a chore on her to-do list instead of having fun with it. I don’t want to be a chore to her.

I wish my wife knew how important sex is for me. Men by nature are not the best communicators when it comes to talking so it is hard for us to verbally communicate our feelings. For a lot of men we let our feelings and love show through actions and touch. In my wife’s mind we need to talk about things, in my mind instead of having a long drawn out conversation… let me show you how much I love you. Let me touch you, let me make you feel my love through my touch. (When I say touch I don’t always mean sex) but sex is a very important part of marriage.
For me, making love to my wife is the closest we can possibly be, two bodies join together physically to become one, at that time the only thing that matters is the two of us. At that time we are connected on a level that I can’t show anyone else. When you take away our ability to touch our wives, you take away our ability to communicate clearly. Now I do know that there are many ways to communicate besides touch and sex, but I also know I am much better at communication through actions and touch than words.

[size=13pt]#10– That Sometimes I Just Like to be Left Alone[/size]
Sometimes I just want to relax.

That we sometimes need FIVE MINUTES to decompress when we get home. Then we are all yours.

I wish my wife truly understood that sometimes I actually have nothing going on in my head.

Men just want to be left alone sometimes. There are times that I want to be left alone to be quiet, angry, or upset. You don’t need to know what I’m thinking all the time.

I wish she would understand that sometimes I like to just relax and be left alone after a long day at work. I’m not trying to be lazy.

I wish she knew that I need a break and need to just rest sometimes. I don’t feel like I can without getting nagged.

That as much as we love being with you, sometimes we need our own time to unwind and relax, whether it’s playing video games, working in the garage, or going shooting.

Sometimes we just need to be left alone. We (at least myself) know certain projects on the to do list NEED to get finished or started…. but what is URGENT to her may not be urgent to us.

If you can feel your man’s love in most other capacities, do you really need to make him sit down and verbally communicate every 5 minutes?
When we talk about a man cave it is not to get away from you for negative reasons but just a spot where we can pass gas, be immature, and watch sports with no judgement.

Ha ha ha! That last answer cracked us up!

If you’re dying to know which question came in at #11 and almost made the top ten cut…



[size=13pt]#11– That Sometimes I’d Like for Her to Try My Interests and Hobbies[/size]
We husbands like to engage in your activities but y’all should make an effort to like our activities too.

I’d love for my wife to be my weekend caddy.

I wish my wife knew that surfing is fun.

Activities together are important. I wish she’d try something new with me.

My wife does the things the kids want to do with them, but not what I want to do with me.

And just for kicks… here’s our favorite, funny response…
It’s cool that we’re comfortable enough to use the bathroom with the door open, but you should really keep that door closed.

Okay, there we have it....

So Nigerian husbands, can you relate with them?

Source: http://www.thedatingdivas.com/marriage-101/10-things-husbands-wish-wives-knew/

somez:
Awwwww.... So stealing and using this lines tonight. *modified* is lalasticalala sleeping?

Thanks and welcome.

bukatyne:
Okay, there we have it....

So Nigerian husbands, can you relate with them?

Source: http://www.thedatingdivas.com/marriage-101/10-things-husbands-wish-wives-knew/

Hmmmmmm. Naija men? Let them come and answer the kwension o

Ok next

bukatyne:

So Nigerian husbands, can you relate with them?

Nah, we couldn't care any less what's going on in her head and mind. She's got the option of transformer loving or lagoon diving if she's unsatisfied.

is it really bukatyne that typed all this? so people do change afterall

Timbuktou:


Nah, we couldn't care any less what's going on in her head and mind. She's got the option of transformer loving or lagoon diving if she's unsatisfied.

Well this is the result gotten from a survey carried out agmonst several American husbands.

bennyrazz:
is it really bukatyne that typed all this? so people do change afterall

So funny I forgot to laugh

Don't worry, I will change back when I point out the faults of men in a situation.

Na today?

I know the perfect Nigerian wife or is it the sweetest is one who never see your wrongs.

And no, I did not type it.... They are several husbands' responses to a survey carried out by the referenced website.

montezz:

Hmmmmmm. Naija men? Let them come and answer the kwension o

Abi na

Why would I wish what American men wish their wives knew? Wishes are too expensive here

bukatyne:


Well this is the result gotten from a survey carried out agmonst several American husbands.

Good thing they're not Nigerian husband's. We don't do all this acceptance by force thingy.

bukatyne:


So funny I forgot to laugh

Don't worry, I will change back when I point out the faults of men in a situation.

Na today?

I know the perfect Nigerian wife or is it the sweetest is one who never see your wrongs.

And no, I did not type it.... They are several husbands' responses to a survey carried out by the referenced website.

@ sighs at bolded Couldn't think anything lesser. Kudos for bringing those references here. Since you know the attributes of a perfect Nigerian wife, you could also help or do justice to the topic "How to be a good Nigerian wife" without been sarcastic. A few pointers could do

bennyrazz:



@ sighs at bolded Couldn't think anything lesser. Kudos for bringing those references here. Since you know the attributes of a perfect Nigerian wife, you could also help or do justice to the topic "How to be a good Nigerian wife" without been sarcastic. A few pointers could do

You do that.

You know the perfect wife for you

Hello peoples, how una dey. Recently came across an interesting article which I would like y'all to talk about. Our sisters welcome too.

Kimoni
Tearoses
Bukatyne. Etc...

Crackhaus, I decided to post it here after all.

So. Here goes.

I'm In Debt To My Ex-Husband. I Pay Him $120 A Month
Vanessa Garcia

Debt: $16,120

Source: Car loan

Estimated years until debt-free: Around 10 years

I’m about to marry my true life partner, and I’m carrying with me a debt to my ex-husband of $16,120. For the sake of clarity in telling the story of how this happened, I’m going to call my ex-husband Franco and my future husband by his real name: Ignacio.

I married Franco in my early thirties. We’d been together seven years by then, and marriage seemed like the right thing to do. Franco insisted that if we were going to get married, we had to share expenses, “50/50,” he called it. Feminist that I am, I had no problem with that. We agreed, and started to go about our married life. I paid for half the rent, half the couch. Groceries: same. If the nice area rug we bought online cost $300.82, then I paid $150.41.


The problem, however, was that he made 3 times the amount of money I did. I’m a writer and artist by profession. He owned a web design company that was doing very well.

It wasn’t long before I started getting very tired. I felt like I was working three times as hard as he was in order to meet my “half.” One day, I walked into his office at home, and he was sitting, shirtless, feet on his desk, playing with his chest hair. A realization hit me. He’s coasting, said the little voice inside me. The 50/50 model wasn’t balanced. I had to sweat much more for my 50%. I was investing cash and sweat equity.

I brought it up. I told him I thought it was unfair, but he wouldn’t budge. I started to worry. Was this a real partnership? Was this a union? This had nothing to do with feminism. Actually, if I didn’t speak up, fight against what I felt was an injustice, what kind of feminist would I be? But the question that had me in knots for days for days was: what would happen if we had kids?

To lighten the tension between us, we decided to take a little vacation. We took my car, a ’96 Mercedes Benz, out to the Mojave Desert. This was probably around 2010, so the car was old, but it had always been a real trooper. On our way home, however, the Benz started to choke, jumping up and down, like something was strangling it – the heat, our weight. It wasn’t working.

We had no signals on our phones, so we knew that if the car gave out, we’d be in trouble. But trusty as it was, it sputtered all the way back to Los Angeles, and, I’m not exaggerating, the second we pulled into our parking spot at home, it flat-lined. Franco, an agnostic, looked up and said out loud: “If there is a god, this sure is proof.” Relieved, we had a good, nervous laugh.

The next day when I brought up what we might do about the car, he made it clear that I was on my own. The only thing I could afford was a cheap lease, so I told him that. He thought that was a financially unsound idea, and concluded that he wouldn’t mind loaning me the money to purchase a new car.

Loan? My husband is going to “loan” me money? Something felt wrong about the whole thing, but I took the loan, and bought a car, while our marriage continued to sputter. We ended up in couple’s therapy, went through two therapists. One of them straight out suggested a divorce. The other was subtler, though she finally got us to unthread the knot we had woven when we decided to marry.

We filed an amicable divorce and remained friends. I told Franco that he should keep the car – I hated debts. His response was that the car had already devalued and was now worth less than the loan, so I would have to pay him the difference between its current value and the loan itself. I didn’t think this was a good deal at all. So, even though it was only a verbal agreement inside a marriage, I still carry the debt to this day. I pay my ex-husband $120 every single month. If I feel I can pay more a particular month, I do that.

Now older and wiser, I know what partnership means for me. Ignacio and I are in harmony. At one point, Ignacio offered to help pay my debt to Franco, but I refused. It was not his mistake, nor is it his responsibility. Also, sending off that electronic payment every month helps me to remember my mistakes, and, to some degree, reinforce the love I have for Ignacio.


https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/sep/12/split-everything-marriage-money-debt-divorce

From: https://www.nairaland.com/1582623/boys-night-out-discussions/175#49413911

@Timbuktou:

I have read the story

AND

The wife was foolish for the following:

1. Not discerning the kind of man she dated for 7 years
2. Saying yes when he brought that stupid idea.

I see no where he mentioned splitting of chores or housekeeping so I want to assume the wife handled most of it. I see many that serves her 'right' as a feminist so I know it is all about that.

Funny story
This is what you get when you don't allow the man to lead therefore you don't enjoy the warmth & security that that avails.

She also wasn't clever enough to see that the 50/50 model wasn't going to work in an ideal world.
She should have seen that coming
If they did have kids, would he have breastfed them 50% of the time?
or would he have woken up to feed the baby 50% of the time?....of course not

I think her brain was on vacation when she agreed to the 50% finance sharing
I guess she was so concerned about not letting the feminist side down that she didn't take time out to think things through properly.

My thoughts on the matter........
If you let the man be the man, you will be a "spoilt" and pampered wife

@ Tearoses:

I am curious...

How was the wife supposed to let the man be the man? Reject his 50/50 idea when he brought it up before marriage?

As per your first statement: What does it mean? let the man spend more?

Lol, these classes will definitely come in handy...maybe Mindfulness can help with that. grin

Their criticisms for the guy is borne purely from sentiments. Oh that guy is so insensitive and a total jerk, bla bla bla...

Well if a woman is going to be a jerk by using feminism and equality as her go-to-weapon when demanding equal partnership in the cooking/cleaning, then a man can also be a jerk by using equality as his go-to-weapon when it comes to finances.

In equality, there's no such thing as women should be treated with dignity and consideration when men can't also be treated with same dignity and respect.

She's a Queen, guess what? He's a king.
She's deserves the Princess treatment, guess what? He deserves the Prince treatment.
EQUALITY!

Princesses don't buy their own cars or pay for their own gifts? Well, guess what? A prince doesn't wash his own clothes/plates or cook his own food.
This is dignity and respect all round, everybody wins.

@crackhaus:

This is your first post I have come across as regards this complex subject (feminism/marriage/chores/finances) that makes sense to me. (* a compliment)

The guy is insensitive and a total jerk however, the woman is a fool for marrying him.

What I will say is that if anyone thinks she has to be unequal (whatever that means) to her husband to enjoy him, goodluck to her. Ditto him.

bukatyne:


@crackhaus:

This is your first post I have come across as regards this complex subject (feminism/marriage/chores/finances) that makes sense to me. (* a compliment)

The guy is insensitive and a total jerk however, the woman is a fool for marrying him.

What I will say is that if anyone thinks she has to be unequal (whatever that means) to her husband to enjoy him, goodluck to her. Ditto him.

Why would a woman get a car she cannot afford? She couldn't get a cheaper car?

Why did the woman agree that finances should be shared '50/50'?Can house work also be shared '50/50'?
She agreed with the man's proposal because she let feminism get the better of her.
In marriage,couples complement each other.There can never be 50/50 contributions in all aspects in a home.

Mindfulness:


Why would a woman get a car she cannot afford? She couldn't get a cheaper car?

You know a man is supposed to treat a woman SPECIAL even if she's a feminist.