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When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed - Romance - Nairaland

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When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by phrancky(m): 7:50am On Dec 23, 2015
Good morning all, please i need advice regarding an issue bothering me. I have been dating this girl for the past 7 months and hoping to tie the knots with her next year because I was convinced she is the special one, not until yesterday. About a month and half ago she lost a friend via an accident and she was very down and made me aware of it when I asked. When I probed further considering the way she was taking the loss, she said the guy was her ex and that they have been keeping in touch via calls and social media even while we were dating. I never made any fuss about it, because I felt I owe the dead respect. Just yesterday, she put up a message on her bbm profile stating how she missed him and crying that she won't be able to see him again. When she did that, I felt disrespected and wondered why she is still into this guy who is late and even allowing me know about it all and her response was that she is free to do what so ever she likes and that no matter how much she misses him he ain't gonna come back, so I shouldn't be jealous and if I want to go back 2 any of my ex I should do same. She sent me an sms this morning apologizing, but I am thinking of been decisive this time around and contemplating not taking her back. Could it be said that I am over reacting, insecure or simply jealous for nothing or is it that some stuffs don't just add up with this babe.
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by donTbone(m): 7:51am On Dec 23, 2015
You are not overreacting, you are not jealous and you not insecure.
A sane man in you shoes would av felt the same way.

But my advice is...trynna give her some time to get over it.
Sit her down and ensure she doesn keep things from you.

My own view is that since she could come out clean and tell you
what she is passing through just the exact way it is, even no matter
how much she felt for him...she still respects you.

And for the fact that she has asked for apology, please give it to her bro
and find more ways to ensure she keeps opening up to you...no matter
how difficult.

Just know that women will be women, i guess that why she took it too far!

NOTE: there are some girls that would prefer not to talk about it, pretend all
is well and wouldn't even ask for any apology in this type of case!

#soft

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by ClassCaptain(m): 7:53am On Dec 23, 2015
hmmn
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by fernandoc(m): 7:56am On Dec 23, 2015
That girl doesn't respect you. And my brother these days men ought to value that more than love.
You can take her back only when you are sure she has learnt hour lessons.

2 Likes

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by jmaxjohn(m): 7:59am On Dec 23, 2015
Tell her u wer planning on tying d knot with her but u just found out she doesn't deeply luv u nd she's nt worth it, den walk away 4 gud. Uve nt found d ryt1 yet

4 Likes

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by mutiply: 8:01am On Dec 23, 2015
Most times people say things out of anger, she was sober and you attacked her instead of been calm, that made her to exchange harsh words with you. She had apologised, please forgive and forget.

2 Likes

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by boboLIL(m): 8:02am On Dec 23, 2015
Oga instead of tying the knot nxt year pls kindly knot ur tie very well nxt year.. U r dealing wid a confused fellow

1 Like

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by misspicy(f): 8:03am On Dec 23, 2015
donTbone:
You are not overreacting, you are not jealous and you not insecure.
A sane man in you shoes would av felt the same way.

But my advice is...trynna give her some time to get over it.
Sit her down and ensure she doesn keep things from you.

My own view is that since she could come out clean and tell you
what she is passing through just the exact way it is, even no matter
how much she felt for him...she still respects you.

And for the fact that she has asked for apology, please give it to her bro
and find more ways to ensure she keeps opening up to you...no matter
how difficult.

Just know that women will be women, i guess that why she took it too far!

NOTE: there are some girls that would prefer not to talk about it, pretend all
is well and wouldn't even ask for any apology in this type of case!

#soft
A sane man you say?

you mean a sane man who is not insecure will feel threatened by a dead man?


you all are confused,for Christ sake,the man is no more,not like she will go and meet him in the land of the dead I don't see the fuse here?

its just a phase and she will be over it soon.
they must have shared some memories and it hurts to lose anyone not to talk of someone you were close with

OP is just insecure mbok undecided
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by obiorathesubtle: 8:04am On Dec 23, 2015
grin she be special one?? Omo mourinho ni..



Anyway.. This na goodnews for you.. This na assurance say when you die.. She no go forget you easy.
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by CaroLyner(f): 8:05am On Dec 23, 2015
mutiply:
Most times people say things out of anger, she was sober and you attacked her instead of been calm, that made her to exchange harsh words with you. She had apologised, please forgive and forget.
the things people say during anger is what they really mean

6 Likes

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by donTbone(m): 8:06am On Dec 23, 2015
misspicy:

A sane man you say?

you mean a sane man who is not insecure will feel threatened by a dead man?


you all are confused,for Christ sake,the man is no more,not like she will go and meet him in the land of the dead I don't see the fuse here?

its just a phase and she will be over it soon.
they must have shared some memories and it hurts to lose anyone not to talk of someone you were close with

OP is just insecure mbok undecided
Ok... let your wife or gef be thinking about a dead man
for more than normal and tell me you wont be bothered...
That only happens in Nollywood and bollywood
BIKO! we are human...

If you knw d definition of insecure, u wont post such!
I think you are the most confused nigga here!

5 Likes

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by vizkiz: 8:06am On Dec 23, 2015
obiorathesubtle:
grin she be special one?? Omo mourinho ni..



Anyway.. This na goodnews for you.. This na assurance say when you die.. She no go forget you easy.

so you are one of the people praying for op's death grin

1 Like

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by Abortions: 8:08am On Dec 23, 2015
donTbone:
You are not overreacting, you are not jealous and you not insecure.
A sane man in you shoes would av felt the same way.

But my advice is...trynna give her some time to get over it.
Sit her down and ensure she doesn keep things from you.

My own view is that since she could come out clean and tell you
what she is passing through just the exact way it is, even no matter
how much she felt for him...she still respects you.

And for the fact that she has asked for apology, please give it to her bro
and find more ways to ensure she keeps opening up to you...no matter
how difficult.

Just know that women will be women, i guess that why she took it too far!

NOTE: there are some girls that would prefer not to talk about it, pretend all
is well and wouldn't even ask for any apology in this type of case!

#soft
Mehn ur head well..i dey invite u 4 xmas
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by funkyibodude(m): 8:10am On Dec 23, 2015
One thing! Someone's first love always remain in their hearts forever. Be it a guy or a lady, maybe her ex is her first love undecided or someone really special to her. For the fact she's with you doesn't mean her heart is completely off her Ex... So just try and be the man for her and prove to her that you are better than her Ex in all aspects, soon after she would gradually forget him. smiley
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by donTbone(m): 8:11am On Dec 23, 2015
Abortions:
Mehn ur head well..i dey invite u 4 xmas

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Nnkwobi and Abacha go dey dia?
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by misspicy(f): 8:13am On Dec 23, 2015
donTbone:

Ok... let your wife or gef be thinking about a dead man
for more than normal and tell me you wont be bothered...
That only happens in Nollywood and bollywood
BIKO! we are human...

If you knw d definition of insecure, u wont post such!
I think you are the most confused nigga here!
kwakwakwakwakwakwa kwakwakwakwakwakwa

1)am no nigga,remove that shade on your eyes,this is misspicy

2)only an insecure man will be competing with a dead man's memory,kilode? she can mourn her ex as much as she wants,so what if it was her brother will OP say the same?
the way we mourn the dead differs,men are likely to easily get along well but women tend to mourn till they can mourn no mourn


there is nothing wrong in here mourning her EX anyway she likes,how long she wants until she can mourn no more shikena
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by donTbone(m): 8:17am On Dec 23, 2015
misspicy:

kwakwakwakwakwakwa kwakwakwakwakwakwa

1)am no nigga,remove that shade on your eyes,this is misspicy

2)only an insecure man will be competing with a dead man's memory,kilode? she can mourn her ex as much as she wants,so what if it was her brother will OP say the same?
the way we mourn the dead differs,men are likely to easily get along well but women tend to mourn till they can mourn no mourn


there is nothing wrong in here mourning her EX anyway she likes,how long she wants until she can mourn no more shikena
I think am hungry! angry for me not to have noticed! cry
How was ya nyt sha? PM awaits you wink

In between:
Trust me... you wont be happy seeing your man do the same! sad
At some point, i bet you gonna be angry with him, irrespective of
whoever he is mourning!

2 Likes

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by obiorathesubtle: 8:19am On Dec 23, 2015
vizkiz:


so you are one of the people praying for op's death grin
grin for why na? Is he buhari?? lipsrsealed.



I just no dy downplay the probability of certain things happening.
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by phrancky(m): 8:26am On Dec 23, 2015
Misspicy, i havent felt insecure to any lady before and am damn sure this wouldnt be my first. I wasnt against her mourning the dead and even if she is to do that, must she bring it to my notice when the said guy was her ex and had been in contact with him while he was alive. If she could still be so emotionally connected to someone who is dead, wondering what she will be doing with other numerous ex of hers who are still alive.

A sane man you say?

you mean a sane man who is not insecure will feel threatened by a dead man?


you all are confused,for Christ sake,the man is no more,not like she will go and meet him in the land of the dead I don't see the fuse here?

its just a phase and she will be over it soon.
they must have shared some memories and it hurts to lose anyone not to talk of someone you were close with

OP is just insecure mbok undecided[/quote]
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by donTbone(m): 8:27am On Dec 23, 2015
obiorathesubtle:
grin for why na? Is he buhari?? lipsrsealed.



I just no dy downplay the probability of certain things happening.
shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked
You really want awa presido to kpai? cry
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by mutiply: 8:28am On Dec 23, 2015
CaroLyner:
the things people say during anger is what they really mean
People reactions are different, some may take it serious why others will say it as a threat. Not everyone mean what they say when they are angry.
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by obiorathesubtle: 8:28am On Dec 23, 2015
donTbone:

shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked
You really want awa presido to kpai? cry
shocked no ooo! Why would I want that na?
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by Afrok(m): 8:31am On Dec 23, 2015
I hope she doesn't have many exes... coz that'll be one out of how many? embarassed
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by Nobody: 8:31am On Dec 23, 2015
Bro give her some space let hervmourn even if she wants let her have candle night but tell her point blank that when she comes back to u she should stop all those bullshit...if she loved him that much she wouldn't have broke with him....ifvshe wanna die and follow him let her go joor....pls just give her 2weeks break...u can only call to say hi..don't invite her over or show her u wanna see her...ignore her calls attimes
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by Nobody: 8:31am On Dec 23, 2015
Op....i think yu over reacted....the guy is gone,let her mourn him her way....don't get insecure over someone dah doesn't exist anymore.... wen an enemy dies sef...its painful talkless of an EX.
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by Nobody: 8:34am On Dec 23, 2015
phrancky:
Good morning all, please i need advice regarding an issue bothering me. I have been dating this girl for the past 7 months and hoping to tie the knots with her next year because I was convinced she is the special one, not until yesterday. About a month and half ago she lost a friend via an accident and she was very down and made me aware of it when I asked. When I probed further considering the way she was taking the loss, she said the guy was her ex and that they have been keeping in touch via calls and social media even while we were dating. I never made any fuss about it, because I felt I owe the dead respect. Just yesterday, she put up a message on her bbm profile stating how she missed him and crying that she won't be able to see him again. When she did that, I felt disrespected and wondered why she is still into this guy who is late and even allowing me know about it all and her response was that she is free to do what so ever she likes and that no matter how much she misses him he ain't gonna come back, so I shouldn't be jealous and if I want to go back 2 any of my ex I should do same. She sent me an sms this morning apologizing, but I am thinking of been decisive this time around and contemplating not taking her back. Could it be said that I am over reacting, insecure or simply jealous for nothing or is it that some stuffs don't just add up with this babe.
you yre as sane as we come the thing there is that she is in love with the late guy. She loves him and i can say the same for you, so be wary of you you consider the special one cos the might be the opposite of it. If its me a new project of finding the true special one is on because definitely shes not it for u bro. Bless God for revealing this to you nw pay attention and do the needful or ignore it and reap the consequencies later. Guess you are side or fall back guy and her real love is the one she termed her EX, a person suffering from cataarh can percieve it. Tnk ue lord for the revelation. Now she must have came back to her senses and will try to manipukate u that she was just being too emotonal and som other crappy excuse to maga u. Be smart or well u can continue being her fool. Dnt make anyone ur number1 if the cant reciprocate.

1 Like

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by jmaxjohn(m): 8:36am On Dec 23, 2015
Dear i bliv point z, wen u mourn an ex, do u seek help from d current "love of ur life" to get over it? Or u push him aside (take note that this current guy isn't dead and wants to marry u) like trash u can pick up after ur months of mourning (she's been mourning for almost 2 months nw)


misspicy:

kwakwakwakwakwakwa kwakwakwakwakwakwa

1)am no nigga,remove that shade on your eyes,this is misspicy

2)only an insecure man will be competing with a dead man's memory,kilode? she can mourn her ex as much as she wants,so what if it was her brother will OP say the same?
the way we mourn the dead differs,men are likely to easily get along well but women tend to mourn till they can mourn no mourn


there is nothing wrong in here mourning her EX anyway she likes,how long she wants until she can mourn no more shikena
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by Nobody: 8:44am On Dec 23, 2015
mutiply:
Most times people say things out of anger, she was sober and you attacked her instead of been calm, that made her to exchange harsh words with you. She had apologised, please forgive and forget.
you are a female definitely. Op dnt gib into this crap, if she truly loved him she would have never put him in that position. Zou females think the word sorry automatically solves every fups u all dish out. Op the handwritin is on the goddamn wall now cease to be a fool. Ask yourself this op, would you put her in such position if u were in her shoes because of an "ex"? That dead dude wasnt no ex. He was her true love and she defended him and attacked u the way u would attack an ordinary female friend that says shitt abt a girl u truky love. Use ur logic now and lock up ur emotions nw op. Time for logical thinking.

3 Likes

Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by misspicy(f): 8:45am On Dec 23, 2015
jmaxjohn:
Dear i bliv point z, wen u mourn an ex, do u seek help from d current "love of ur life" to get over it? Or u push him aside (take note that this current guy isn't dead and wants to marry u) like trash u can pick up after ur months of mourning (she's been mourning for almost 2 months nw)


so you all are saying she should not mourn him for as long as she wants because he is an EX?

is he an alien?
so because he wants to marry her now,she should suspend every other activities?...la wa
the way we react to death is different maybe she needs to heal alone,she might no need to share it with her current boyfriend?

I still see nothing bad in her mourning her EX for as long as she wants even at her present boyfriend's stand...kilode,if I lose an EX today amma mourn him well,he is human....
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by RoastedCorn(m): 8:48am On Dec 23, 2015
who is that girl saying the guy is insecure?? . . it's no insecurity . . you don't know how it feels . . she's making it look as if she hasn't gotten over her ex, and like her ex is better than him even though we know it's painful loosing someone you onced share your quality time with and heart with
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by donTbone(m): 8:49am On Dec 23, 2015
misspicy:

so you all are saying she should not mourn him for as long as she wants because he is an EX?

is he an alien?
so because he wants to marry her now,she should suspend every other activities?...la wa
the way we react to death is different maybe she needs to heal alone,she might no need to share it with her current boyfriend?

I still see nothing bad in her mourning her EX for as long as she wants even at her present boyfriend's stand...kilode,if I lose an EX today amma mourn him well,he is human....


cry cry cry cry cry cry
Your bf go suffer o!
Re: When My Gf Decides To Take The Loss Of Her Ex Too Far.....advise Needed by misspicy(f): 8:50am On Dec 23, 2015
donTbone:

cry cry cry cry cry cry Your bf go suffer o!
lipsrsealed

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