[quote author=BUTCHCASSIDY post=41635960][/quote] I greet you brother. you bam pass bambella. peace!

RexKexMilann:
Calm Down Caro. Not everyone is Well equiped with the art of mastering subtle signs. What if your green light is quite not green to him?

I will advice you to discard that ideology. Stop giving guys Greenlight before Age will give you red Light. Biko!

lolz

Kachisbarbie:


lols @ fully return.
It's not really 'bout schooling, they have their fears as humans, which we should understand and respect.

That doesn't change the fact that a relationship would blossom/fail if it decides to, irrespective of how it took off. Some girls play hard to get, the guy gets them and it packs up, while it makes some more cherished.

On a good day, we would all meet someone that would make us defy our laid down principles.

Wow, I like d way ur mind works girl! Now I want to know u more... Wat would it take to make u defy urs ehn??

Oliviaarims:
This notion seems to be trending these days. But pls, before anyone goes about saying it's okay for a woman to make the first move, then perhaps they should also elaborate on what circumstances and the manner in which it should be done. So many girls are being misled already.. And making complete fools of themselves. I witnessed one such event yesterday and I just couldn't help laughing. This girl must have been feeling like a real 21st century chic when she even contemplated making the move. But with the way things turned out, I can bet on my two Di'ja-like-boobs that she's so never going to try that again. Heck, that dude was mean!


Back to my topic. I really don't get why a girl should be encouraged to make the first move. Look at it this way. Wooing a woman is sth that comes very natural to men. It's what they do. It's what they've always done right from time, what reason then has a guy not to make a move on the girl he likes? So this boy and girl know themselves, perhaps not as friends or anything serious, but each knows about the existence of the other. They are perhaps in the same location.. Work in the same place, live in the same neighborhood, attend the same Uni;So, surely they get to see each other from time to time. Why then should it be the girl making a move since she's interested in him? Hasn't he seen her before? If actually he had any interest whatsoever, he'd make the first move. It shouldn't be an issue at all. Girls are used to being wooed.

But he doesn't and some girl would think it's okay for her to make the first move. Trust me, chances are high that he won't take u seriously if ever u should go into a relationship. He'd simply see the whole thing as him doing u a favour by dating u and perhaps getting an advantage for himself if he succeeds in sleeping with you . I can't even imagine how u'd feel comfortable being in that relationship. He's most likely always going to be eager to show u the door, because after all, u made the first move on him, when he was just on his own doing his thing. It's just like reversing roles entirely. And IMO, it shows desperation.

And I also thought guys used to enjoy the chase. They want girls to be the ones chasing them now? Lol.

Pls, giving the green light and not playing too hard to get is enough. A man's supposed to know what to do when he sees the green light. If he doesn't, well, that's sad. It simply implies that there are so many things about women he isn't sensitive to.

Call me old-fashioned. I like being old-fashioned if this is what being old fashioned is all about.

A "yes" from a guy holds absolutely no meaning in that context fairly 99.9999999% of the time. So, unless you're not looking for anything serious, act accordingly.

Besides, if women were to start pursuing men in such a way, en masse, it would follow that they'd, quite naturally, pursue desirable men of their liking. Well, on the current model (generally, men pursuing women), do you know how many millions of utterly frustrated, socially inept men are out there unable to attract the attentions of a single woman to them? And you may ask, so what? Surely there are also under-average girls who don't get the time of day from men who're decidedly pursuing their more attractive counterparts?

Well, in that you'd be absolutely right! But then, how do these two groups manifest? UA insecure girls tend to internalize. They blame themselves. UA insecure guys tend to externalize. It's society's fault. It's the fault of the opposite sex, i.e, women. Insecurity. Rage. Entitlement. Hence, you get scores and scores of rapists and potential rapists on the brink, and people defiling children and animals for release, shooting sprees, crime, preying and stalking, etc. There's currently a thread on FP about a guy who cut his pe.nis off, because women paid him no mind and he saw himself navigating the frustrations of being involuntarily celibate as a result.

The truth is, unless you're planning on committing a felony, sex is already female-choice. The man approaches. The woman either accepts or rejects him. By having women do the pursuing also, it becomes even more gynocentric/female-choice. Now, in the eyes of the outliers, it's no more a passive rejection as it once was, which was hard enough, but an active dismissal of them. All the more reason for the lower eschelon of men to brew and further immerse themselves in whatever mixture of hate and rage they so chose. And more often than not, unbridled irrational misogyny ensues.

Well, well, well. Alot of comments on this thread.
Hmmm... I don't know for sur about others, but for me Olubunmi Apekeade, its a no-no. Why would I even consider asking a guy out? Either for dating or marriage, mba nu.
If you(as a lady) loves a guy and you've given him (is it green card people call it now?), and he's not getting it, you've given him tips to get him understand that u want him to ask u out( which I would personally never do) and he's still not getting it, believe me, HE WILL NEVER GET IT!! Why? Because he doesn't look at you that way. No guy is that dumb, not to recognize such signs. Even if he likes u too but scared or shy, he'll be giving you signs too n before you know it, you guys will start dating.
I like the old-fashioned way. Guy chases girl==girl gree==dating start or guy chases girl==girl no gree==guy waka.
No matter the circumstance, even if its for marriage, when a lady is so sure a particular guy is meant for her, she should be patient. IT IS A VIRTUE. The God that revealed the man to her will reveal her to the guy.
Das all.

Laveda:
Nah... I can't try that shít again..
Imagine being turned down when you've surmoned the courage to talk to him

I dont advice that...keep flashing that green light..if he's too dumb to see it...fùck him .

na wa ..ur former DP was bomb ...person wey see u now no go know weti u carry for dis DP

Fourwinds:
na wa ..ur former DP was bomb ...person wey see u now no go know weti u carry for dis DP

Oliviaarims:
This notion seems to be trending these days. But pls, before anyone goes about saying it's okay for a woman to make the first move, then perhaps they should also elaborate on what circumstances and the manner in which it should be done. So many girls are being misled already.. And making complete fools of themselves. I witnessed one such event yesterday and I just couldn't help laughing. This girl must have been feeling like a real 21st century chic when she even contemplated making the move. But with the way things turned out, I can bet on my two Di'ja-like-boobs that she's so never going to try that again. Heck, that dude was mean!

Lol in this era of gender equality agitation and where we have women running some of the most powerful nations in the world, it is now toasting man that is a big deal?

Men get rejected everyday but reject a woman once and all hell breaks loose. A woman milks you dry its not an issue let the man do the same it becomes a problem

Only an immature man would not appreciate a woman that tells him her desires. That girl was obviously dealing with a child

Oliviaarims:

Back to my topic. I really don't get why a girl should be encouraged to make the first move. Look at it this way. Wooing a woman is sth that comes very natural to men. It's what they do. It's what they've always done right from time, what reason then has a guy not to make a move on the girl he likes? So this boy and girl know themselves, perhaps not as friends or anything serious, but each knows about the existence of the other. They are perhaps in the same location.. Work in the same place, live in the same neighborhood, attend the same Uni;So, surely they get to see each other from time to time. Why then should it be the girl making a move since she's interested in him? Hasn't he seen her before? If actually he had any interest whatsoever, he'd make the first move. It shouldn't be an issue at all. Girls are used to being wooed.

Why not? I mean if he has shown interest what stops the woman from seizing the initiative? Chances are he is blown away by your boldness and wants you even more. The irony is the woman by doing the wooing actually calls the shots.

Oliviaarims:

But he doesn't and some girl would think it's okay for her to make the first move. Trust me, chances are high that he won't take u seriously if ever u should go into a relationship. He'd simply see the whole thing as him doing u a favour by dating u and perhaps getting an advantage for himself if he succeeds in sleeping with you . I can't even imagine how u'd feel comfortable being in that relationship. He's most likely always going to be eager to show u the door, because after all, u made the first move on him, when he was just on his own doing his thing. It's just like reversing roles entirely. And IMO, it shows desperation.

And I also thought guys used to enjoy the chase. They want girls to be the ones chasing them now? Lol.

Pls, giving the green light and not playing too hard to get is enough. A man's supposed to know what to do when he sees the green light. If he doesn't, well, that's sad. It simply implies that there are so many things about women he isn't sensitive to.

Lol! If a guy won't take you serious then whether he does the wooing or you do so is irrelevant. He will still maltreat, abuse and dump after he is done knacking. This has nothing to do with you making the move. Its just in his DNA.

A guy can toast 5 girls get rejected by 4 and take out his frustration on the 1 that agreed to date him.

You really need to let go of these outdated clichés!

Nobody has time for the chase unless he doesn't have other things to do with his time or suffers a low self-esteem.

Please stop discouraging these girls from moving to the boys in 2016. Husband scarce pass wife and that is the reality on ground

oglalasioux:

It's true we all want to be civilized but it's not ok for a woman to make the first move. Pride is embedded in the male genome and that's why he likes hunting. The joy of the kill is in the chase.

Pride, Chase, Hunt, Kill? Is this a documentary on National Geographic?

Loool so after getting the 'kill' no be to move to the next 'kill'

So you women see yourself as game? Or are OK with men throwing those kind of words at you?

A40:

Pride, Chase, Hunt, Kill? Is this a documentary on National Geographic?

Loool so after getting the 'kill' no be to move to the next 'kill'

So you women see yourself as game? Or are OK with men throwing those kind of words at you?

Not every statement is meant for everyone to understand. Let the matter rest if you failed to grasp what I meant.

oglalasioux:

Not every statement is meant for everyone to understand. Let the matter rest if you failed to grasp what I meant.

Bros your illustration is arcane and outdated. So don't blame me if I fail to grasp it

A40:

Bros your illustration is arcane and outdated. So don't blame me if I fail to grasp it

I begin to wonder how you can call something you can't grasp arcane and outdated. Or are you looking for whom to try your vocabulary on?

oglalasioux:
I begin to wonder how you can call something you can't grasp arcane and outdated. Or are you looking for whom to try your vocabulary on?

Stop using those stale outdated clichés my guy. Who uses such lingo in 2016? Hunt, chase, kill on top woman? Please update and stop staying in the medieval times. Aye ti laju

A40:

Stop using those stale outdated clichés my guy. Who uses such lingo in 2016? Hunt, chase, kill on top woman? Please update and stop staying in the medieval times. Aye ti laju

I won't banter with you. You're just a kid.

oglalasioux:
I won't banter with you. You're just a kid.

E ma binuu. Methuselah. Arugbo ojo

Estharfabian:
Truth be told...

I'd never ask A guy Out!! even if my life depended on it! how degrading!! My ego won't even let me...

I'd keep giving him signs(Green, blue and yellow lights), I'd talk sweet to him, Change my voice around him, be all touchy n mushy towards him, Act overly caring, maybe call him like TWICE A month?...if he still doesn't get those Obvious/vivid Romantic signs.

He should go hang himself for all I care!!! fûck him!

Dating isn't my priority...There are plenny "Sharks" in the sea...I only have to choose from so many.....!

i hear women say this over and over again. You are not the person with the selection power. Its the man.

Adanna28:
I recall having this conversation with my father back at 21 in regards to liking this guy, that I was friends with whom obviously liked me too, but was shy in taking it to the next level of asking me out.

I was waiting n waiting with the same notions of "I'm not asking you out, you are the man, it your job to do it" lol.

I dey vex he was taking his merry time, though dropping signals in his actions that he wanted to be closer than friends.

Said something along the lines to my father " I will never ask a man out, if he wants me he will make it happen".'

My Dad said to me " Ada this is not the year of prince charming riding a horse, nor is it the stone age, it the 21st century, you got to move forward with the times, have some courage to let what you want be known.

He not a mind reader, could save so much time just thinking about it, n actually going for what you want. He just as scared as you are, but even if it doesn't go the way you want, at least you would be satisfied with knowing you tried, and can move on from there".

I was mad at first at what my father said to me lol, but looking at the overall picture, understood his point of view.

I had the courage to make the first move n the guy was more than happy to welcome it, lol. He even said he liked my confidence since he quite shy, didn't want to be rejected by me.

So yeah that my piece on this. It not a crime for a woman to make the first move, after all we won't know what could have been, until we try.

Pls Adanna release goodheart to come and cntinue the stories oooh nne oma! Inugo? Sweet baby pls

Estharfabian:
Truth be told...

I'd never ask A guy Out!! even if my life depended on it! how degrading!! My ego won't even let me...

I'd keep giving him signs(Green, blue and yellow lights), I'd talk sweet to him, Change my voice around him, be all touchy n mushy towards him, Act overly caring, maybe call him like TWICE A month?...if he still doesn't get those Obvious/vivid Romantic signs.

He should go hang himself for all I care!!! fûck him!

Dating isn't my priority...There are plenny "Sharks" in the sea...I only have to choose from so many.....!

I heard You till you approach 40yrs, I need a responsible lady for strong relationship,m

Oliviaarims:

Madam, in a bid to get your thread to the frontpage kindly don't deliberately post false information or say things which you very well know is a pack of lies. The rubbish comment you posted on page 2 of your thread, which wristbangle quoted has been hidden, but not before I saw it.

Kindly cease and desist. It's too early in the year for this kind of bullshit.

Ishilove:

Madam, in a bid to get your thread to the frontpage kindly don't deliberately post false information or say things which you very well know is a pack of lies. The rubbish comment you posted on page 2 of your thread, which wristbangle quoted has been hidden, but not before I saw it.

Kindly cease and desist. It's too early in the year for this kind of bullshit.

Noted. No harm was intended, though. Sorry it came off wrongly. It was supposed to be a joke

Kachisbarbie:
Some ladies expect guys to know when they are in the mood to be wooed, if they are his level or not... like he is psychic _ yet they can't do same.
Guys get turned down everyday, and they are not dead.

You don't go about approaching every random guy, those signs you expect a young man to watch out for, you should be smart enough to watch out for same signs.

Observing a guy closely (especially when you guys have established a reasonable degree of familiarity), you would notice if he is into you but has issues expressing himself probably for fear of being turned down too. That's the time to strike...

So so on point.....can I marry u by weekends....pls?

Oliviaarims:



Noted. No harm was intended, though. Sorry it came off wrongly. It was supposed to be a joke

You got me admiring you. Whatever be the wrong i admire people who has the audacity to say Sorry. Will you be my friend Olivia?

modestdude:
You got me admiring you. Whatever be the wrong i admire people who has the audacity to say Sorry. Will you be my friend Olivia?

Hmm.. Friends? It's fine.

Kachisbarbie:
Some ladies expect guys to know when they are in the mood to be wooed, if they are his level or not... like he is psychic _ yet they can't do same.
Guys get turned down everyday, and they are not dead.

You don't go about approaching every random guy, those signs you expect a young man to watch out for, you should be smart enough to watch out for same signs.

Observing a guy closely (especially when you guys have established a reasonable degree of familiarity), you would notice if he is into you but has issues expressing himself probably for fear of being turned down too. That's the time to strike...

a round of applause for you....you nailed/hammered it

That is the first step to achieving gender equality. Make the move!

Decker:


The primary purpose of dating should be to get married at the end of the day, but still not everyone follows this principle.

Like I earlier stated; people go into relationships for different reasons. Marriage is not always at the back of the minds of every dating couple.

True

Laveda:
Nah... I can't try that shít again..
Imagine being turned down when you've surmoned the courage to talk to him

I dont advice that...keep flashing that green light..if he's too dumb to see it...fùck him .

Abeg woo me, I nor go Bleep up

Estharfabian:
Truth be told...

I'd never ask A guy Out!! even if my life depended on it! how degrading!! My ego won't even let me...

I'd keep giving him signs(Green, blue and yellow lights), I'd talk sweet to him, Change my voice around him, be all touchy n mushy towards him, Act overly caring, maybe call him like TWICE A month?...if he still doesn't get those Obvious/vivid Romantic signs.

He should go hang himself for all I care!!! fûck him!

Dating isn't my priority...There are plenny "Sharks" in the sea...I only have to choose from so many.....!

hmm so Impressive

Estharfabian:
Truth be told...

I'd never ask A guy Out!! even if my life depended on it! how degrading!! My ego won't even let me...

I'd keep giving him signs(Green, blue and yellow lights), I'd talk sweet to him, Change my voice around him, be all touchy n mushy towards him, Act overly caring, maybe call him like TWICE A month?...if he still doesn't get those Obvious/vivid Romantic signs.

He should go hang himself for all I care!!! fûck him!

Dating isn't my priority...There are plenny "Sharks" in the sea...I only have to choose from so many.....!

Not too many sharks in the sea again oo, go and look up the male and female death rate, and then look up the male and female birth rate then you will know what's up.

Estharfabian:
Truth be told...

I'd never ask A guy Out!! even if my life depended on it! how degrading!! My ego won't even let me...

I'd keep giving him signs(Green, blue and yellow lights), I'd talk sweet to him, Change my voice around him, be all touchy n mushy towards him, Act overly caring, maybe call him like TWICE A month?...if he still doesn't get those Obvious/vivid Romantic signs.

He should go hang himself for all I care!!! fûck him!

Dating isn't my priority...There are plenny "Sharks" in the sea...I only have to choose from so many.....!

call him twice in a month...haba thats nt even showing the light talkess of green